Friday, September 21, 2007

Would you rather be a "gangster" or be "untouchable"?

Then again, who really cares? A better question (in this case) is, whom would you rather support, Jay-Z or Dame Dash?

This question popped into my head when I learned that two movies, one being released with a Jay-Z album of the same name right around the same time, "American Gangster"...

And another executive produced by Dame Dash, "Mr. Untouchable"...

are going to be released this fall. Based on the trailers, I'd rather see "American Gangster" but I'm sure "Mr. Untouchable" will be interesting. Frank Lucas versus Nikki Barnes. Jay-Z versus Dame...again.

And even though Dame Dash stays losing since the Roc-A-Fella split, I think the one area of entertainment where he can be still be successful is movie-making. In case you've never seen The Woodsman (starring Kevin Bacon), Shadowboxer (starring Cuba Gooding Jr.), or Paper Soldiers (starring Kevin Hart), you might want to check them out. They were all directed and/or produced (all, or in-part) by Dame Dash. I've seen (and own) Paper Soldiers and The Woodsman and they are both decent films (especially The Woodsman). Dame also has the backing of the legend Robert De Niro. So while Dame might be pretty much irrelevant in the music industry right now, he still has options to be successful. And more notably, he still has Rachel Roy who is arguably just as fine as Bee-Yonce (shot out to Kacey) depending on whether you like 'em slim and under-the-radar or thick and in-the-spotlight. Either way, Jay and Dame are BOTH winning in at least one category even though Mr. Paula Patton still has them both beat. You gotta admit he's got the best of both worlds: White skin (in America) and a fine-azz Black woman. Hmmmnnnn.

Back to Damon and Sean though. We all know how things ended up for JiggerMan so I won't even go into detail but let's just say that he's doing alright right now. Either way you look at it though, Jay and Dame got exactly what you need...

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Only a Redskins fan could think this wishfully

Said Redskins fan would be me. You know how some of us we get right? When we spend truckloads of cash on old, washed-up, former stars in the NFL, we think we're going to win the Superbowl. When we hire the 'Ole Ball Coach we think we're going to win the Superbowl. When we get Clinton Portis and give away the best cornerback in the league, we think we're going to win the Superbowl. When Joe Gibbs comes out of retirement to coach again, we automatically think we're winning the Superbowl. When we hire Al Saunders, we think we're headed to the Superbowl. And if we beat the CowGals twice in one year, we think we're winning the Superbowl. Actually, that's better than winning the Superbowl, LOL. But do you notice a theme here?

Most of you know, none of this has proven true except beating Dallas twice feeling like it's a Superbowl win. Yet-and-still, die-hard fans like me will always predict that the 'Skins can possibly win it all every year. That is, until we're mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. Perhaps we're still smoking that stuff that Rayful Edmond was dealing back in the day. And this year is no different. Now that we've effed around and won the first two games of the season - for deliriously dedicated Redskins fans - this means we've got another shot at beating Denver 42-10 in the big game. (No, I will not let it go. It's the last time we won it all!)

This year, the Skins are playing decent and it seems like that might shockingly actually be on a consistent basis. It appears we've returned to running the ball to control the game and going with safe passes and the occasional shot at the end zone. We've got a very talented quarterback who appears to be maturing into a future star (if we could just get him to stop throwing high on his short passes). And we've got some serious weapons on both sides of the ball (Randle El, Moss, Portis, Cooley, S. Taylor, McIntosh, and Landry). So far that's yielded a 2-0 record. And although it's early in the season, things look like they could turn out well for my beloved 'Skins. Take a look at their remaining schedule this year (along with my predictions):

Sun, Sep 23 NY Giants
Have you seen them play this year...WIN

BYE WEEK

Sun, Oct 7 Detroit
This game will probably be tougher than most people would experct because Detwatt is playing well this year and our pass defense is suspect. But in the end, I think we will beat Detwaat at home...WIN

Sun, Oct 14 at Green Bay
This will be another tough one considering it's in Green Bay. But I think this game will be Jason Campbell's coming out party against a decent defensive unit. Brett who? That old guy? Anyway...WIN

Sun, Oct 21 Arizona
We stop Edge, we win the game...WIN

Sun, Oct 28 at New England
New England is playing like a beast right now so at this point I have to give it to them. But if Moss gets hurt or doesn't show up and Tom Brady is busy conceiving another child the night before, we have a shot at winning...LOSS

Sun, Nov 4 at NY Jets
Chad Pennington is inconsistent. Thomas Jones is a scrub. And LavendarANUS Coles cannot beat us by himself...WIN

Sun, Nov 11 Philadelphia
Philly will want revenge bad and I am sure they'll at least be a little better at this point in the season than they were in week 2. It's really a toss-up but given the home-field advantage and the confidence of having already beat them once...I think we WIN

Sun, Nov 18 at Dallas
At Dallas...Ah man...LOSS

Sun, Nov 25 at Tampa Bay
Hopefully Tampa will have returned to sucking by this time because if they haven't, this will be another tough game. Yet-and-still, I think we will win. Especially if we lose to Dallas the week before...WIN

Sun, Dec 2 Buffalo
Two letters, one last name...J.P. LOSSman...'Skins WIN

Thu, Dec 6 Chicago
By this point in the season Rextacy probably won't be starting so I am not so sure about this one. The Skins beat the Bears a couple years back early in the season when they had essentially the same defensive unit, so I think we could pull it off again...Hell, why not considering they have pretty much NO OFFENSE...WIN

Sun, Dec 16 at NY Giants
Eli crumbles at home to resounding boos. But man that Plaxico guy scares the crap out of me...WIN

Sun, Dec 23 at Minnesota
On some fluke ish I think we will lose this game because for some reason I think Adrian Peterson is going to have the first 200-yard game of his career against us. Again, a fluke loss to a team we probably should beat. But hey, that's our style...LOSS

Sun, Dec 30 Dallas
Last game of the season. At home. Against the Cowgirls. No way we lose! WIN

This would leave us with a record of 13-3. Wow! Now that I read it and said it out loud it seems a bit optimistic but then again, look at the schedule. I think we have a decent shot to win every game except that New England game based on the first two games of the season. If 13-3 doesn't get us in the playoffs then we probably don't deserve to be there. Hell, the last time we were in the playoffs we were (10-6 with some help from other teams of course) so it's plausible to say that even if we lost 3 more games than I predict we'll win, we still have a shot at the playoffs.

However, if we get in the playoffs, the way we perform when we get there is another thing...

GO 'SKINS!!
P.S. - I am now coming to accepting the fact that the Redskins name is pretty effed the eff up and we should probably change it. You don't see Carolina calling their team the "Carolina Coloreds" or the "NorfClick Nikkers". It's probably a good look for us to think about changing the name. Even if we all (somehow) think of Native Americans when we think of D.C., right?

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Miscellaneous Randomness

The next reality show I'll be tuning into --> KID NATION


Why? Because I like kids. And also because I think this show will probably be able to teach adults a lot about how they influence children and also how the innocence of children can help adults realize how effed up we are from time-to-time. I expect to see some pretty heartfelt moments during this show's run along with some moments that force me to address myself and how I carry myself around youngsters. In the end, I think this will be a great show for both adults and children to watch. CBS is marketing it as a show that parents and children can watch together and I think that's a great idea considering some of the discussion that this show should could spark.

Hopefully you'll tune in for an episode or two. The show airs on Wednesdays (beginning TONIGHT) on CBS at 8pm (EST).

Raphael Saadiq - Grown Folks
You are watching VH-1 U.B.N. (U Black N*ggas Network


As if Flavor Of Love and the first season of I Love New York weren't bad enough, it appears that the Negro demand for more minstrel-ish shows happens to complement the non-Negro demand to make money off of foolishness quite well and is in full effect. Consequently, we will have another season of this bowlshyt!

Laugh all you want people. Until you're out in public getting stereotyped and the joke is on YOU!

Little Brother - Welcome to the Minstrel Show
The Billion Dollar Remix --> A Billion Dollar Disappointment

2 Quarters, Diddy, and Hov - Billion Dollar I Get Money super hyped for like two weeks REMIX...I'm not feeling it...Even with Jay on it. He did have one slick line in that verse though:
"I'm killin' the roof like Michael Vick"
That's kinda wrong but unfortunately it's the most memorable moment of the entire song, for me at least. Don't let a bunch of popular names attached to a track fool you. This joint could have been far better. Take Diddy off and replace him with Kanye (though 50 probably wouldn't like that) and make Jay and Fif rewrite their verses. Then you might have something notable.
Police everywhere are toting them CHOPPERS

"Patrol officers will have the option of carrying assault rifles as police try to combat the rise in the use of similar weapons by criminals...Police Chief John Timoney approved the new policy last week, before a Miami-Dade police officer was killed in a shootout with an assault rifle-wielding suspect on Thursday....Years ago, law enforcement specialists like SWAT teams were the only officers to carry assault weapons, but now even small town police agencies are expanding access to the AR-15, a civilian version of the military M-16 rifle..."
Now they can Diallo your azz much easier!

B.G. and the Chopper City Boyz - Chopper City

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Weekend Project: Installing a ceiling fan

It was my first time so I was a neRd about it and took pictures and some video once I was done. The main thing I was trying to avoid during this process was electrocuting myself. So before I did anything, I went to my basement and turned the electricity off in my bedroom. After that, it was just a fun Saturday morning project. Check it out.

Here's how the light looked before I started anything:
Plain, simple, served it's purpose.

The first step was to take this thing down. I was a little nervous about this because I didn't know how this thing was installed and if the proper harness would be in place for me to put up the ceiling fan, but luckily, it was. Here's how it looked as I was taking it down:


And here it is looking like a UFO on my floor:

Playing the role of makeshift electrician-ceiling-fan-installer-person, I had the parts to the ceiling fan scattered across my bed and the rest of my room.

The fan blades:

The motor:

The housing and light shades:

The bracket that holds the motor in place and the light fixture:

The first thing I had to do was put up the bracket that holds the ceiling fan's motor. This was pretty straight-forward since the bracket for the light I had up previously was mounted in pretty much the same way that this bracket needed to be mounted. So all I had to do was screw it into place.

From there, I had to install the motor and make an attempt at ensuring that it was level. I didn't do this so well, but it's not a big deal to go back and fix according to the instructional manual (yes, I read more than just blogs). At this point I also had to do the electrical wiring which I was a little nervous about. But I remembered a few things from my electrical engineering labs in college that helped me through that part. And of course, with no electricity on I didn't have to worry about killing myself with no one there to dial 9-1-1. Though at one point I did consider dialing 9-1- on my cellphone just in case. I figured I could muster up enough strength post electrical shock to dial the last 1 and scream and yell via speakerphone. Shrewd, I know.



The next step was to screw the fan housing onto the mounting bracket. This was pretty easy as well. I also screwed a couple of the fan blade brackets to the actual fan blades and put them up as well. That was actually one of the more tricky steps of this entire process because it was hard lining up the fan blades with the screw holes.


The next step was to install the light fixture to the ceiling fan. To do this, I had to take off the cap at the bottom of the fan and replace it with the light fixture. Part of this process was making the proper wire connections but this time it was made easy by the fact that the harnesses were already color-coded and you just snapped the connections together and that was it.



Once that was done, all the wires were tucked-in and the light-fixture screwed into place.

From there all I had to do was screw in the lightbulbs and lightshades I was done...

VOILA!

After this I cut my electricity back on and flipped the switch (note the cranking azz lil Wayne track in the background)...
video

All-in-all it took me about an hour or so to do and I am very satisfied with the results. As I said level, I didn't level the ceiling fan as good as I should have so that'll be a quick project for another Saturday morning sometime soon. But it operates nicely and it adds a touch of class/sophistication to my room. Mission accomplished!

P.S. - I am willing to perform ceiling fan installs for $40 a whop. Holla at me baby!

Monday, September 17, 2007

The glove will probably fit this time

O.J. Simpson is either one of the most stupid people on earth or one of the craziest people on earth. And I hate to call him stupid or crazy but if the glove fits...

Anyway, if you probably killed your wife and her *friend* several years ago and (thanks to the late Johnny Cochran) beat the case, you'd probably lay low. You know, keep a low profile, stay out of the limelight, move to the Philippines. Stuff that normal people who get away with murder do. Especially after a civil suit rendered you d@mn near broke (lost $33 million) and your public reputation is that of a creepTASTIC, weird, pervert who probably killed your wife and her *friend*. And considering the fact that his penchant for violence seems to have been passed along to at least one of his kids, maybe they could both attend anger management classes together.

If you or I were in O.J.'s Bruno Maglis, we probably wouldn't release a book describing/postulating how we would have killed our significant other and his/her *friend* if we did in fact kill our significant other, even though we probably had done just that. And we also wouldn't gather a group of armed men to get back some of our stolen sports memorabilia that's probably not worth all that much to anyone other than us anyway. YOU or I (read: a normal person) would not do any of these things.

But O.J. Simpson... He'd definitely do it.

I've got to say that Orenthal is pretty daggon incorrigible. It's obvious that this guy thinks he is above the law. Perhaps it's due to the fact that he probably killed his wife and her *friend* and Lance Ito and company believed him. Well not so much Lance, but those jurors. For someone to think that they can gather a group of guys that he "met at a wedding cocktail party" and go strong-arm an auctioneer for some shiddy memorabilia items is pretty loco. I wouldn't even gather my squad to go get my CD collection back if someone stole it. And my CD collection is arguably worth as much as O.J.'s sports memorabilia (probably). Now that I think about it, that glove from the trial is probably worth more than any of his sports artifacts.

But back to the silliness that is Mr. Simpson. He met these guys at a wedding cocktail party! That's like meeting some guys at a funeral repast and asking them to go rob a liquor store. Dressed undoubtedly in suits or tuxedos, did they even look like they could pull this off? Way to recruit O.J.! And on top of taking the law into his own hands and getting a group of guys together to take back what is only allegedly his memorabilia, Nordberg Thomas Riccio actually recorded the so-called "sting operation". Granted, I can't imagine that the police would have been rushing to help O.J., but did he really think he was gonna pull off this Soprano-esque mission? This is some crap you'd expect Maurice Clarett to pull.

Considering that he met these guys at a wedding cocktail party (I still can't get over that) and they were probably all hammered, can you imagine how that conversation went? I can...

O.J.: [Creepy as usual] Hey fellas, nice to meet you.

Random guys: [Not really wanting to talk to O.J.] Yeah, wassup O.J. We gotta run-

O.J.: Hold up fellas! It's me, "The Juice"...Hertz commmercials...Nordberg! Gimme a sec' to talk with ya.

Random guys: [Still creeped out but feeling pity for O.J.'s lonely azz] Uh, okay.

O.J.: I know we're all pretty drunk and I just did three lines of coke but how about you guys come help me out with a little reconnaissance mission? Or I'll kill ya! [Laughs...]

[Random guys look nervous...]

[Note that O.J. would have totally used reconnaissance improperly b/c he's slow like that.]

O.J.: Sike, I'm just joking guys. You know I didn't do it anyway, right?

[Awkward silence...]

O.J.: Whatever. Come on guys, help me out here! I've got some *connections* here in Vegas, we can all be winners. Come on baby! You know what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Random guys: [Scared, but dumb and money-hungry] Okay O.J. but under one condition.

O.J.: What's that?

Random guys: No muck-ups like you did in those Naked Gun movies. You were pretty clumsy dude. Oh, and one other thing...Don't kill us!

O.J.: [With typical sadistically creeptastic O.J. facial expression, and crossed fingers] Sure!

So after these guys run their audio-taped "sting operation", O.J. gets questioned by the police and afterward he makes this statement jokingly to a reporter of the L.A. Times:
"I thought what happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas!"
That right there pretty much sums up the recklessness that is O.J. Simpson.

Naturally, O.J. was arrested soon thereafter and charged with crimes "related to armed robbery" (and God knows what else at this point) and resides in jail in Vegas (with no bond/bail...Yet.) as I type this post. My question is, how do you arrest someone for charges related to a crime? What exactly does that mean?

Anyway, I figure the authorities will go ahead and try him for this/these *crime(s)* and throw in the murders of Nicole and Ronald again just for good measure. They gotta get this fool on something, right?

So in lieu of the fact that O.J. doesn't have money like he used to and will probably not have the "Dream Team" of lawyers he had during his murder trial, here's to "The Juice". This was probably a long time coming considering how O.J. was probably a marked man by the laws since he beat that murder (w)rap. Then on top of that he was smug and decided to release that stupid book. And on top of that, he tries to take the law into his own hands and pull some dumb -ish like this. O.J. you are making it more and more difficult for Black folks to take up for you unconditionally. You are messing it up for people like R. Kelly, that's for sure. You are pretty much on Clarence Thomas status, buddy!

With all that said, let's all bid farewell to Orenthal James Simpson. The great football player, the actor, the alleged/acquitted murderer, the idiot. O.J. is 60 years old so anything more than 10 years in jail pretty much means the rest of his life is wasted unless he goes all Farrakhan or Tookie on us (not that either of those are bad things). But you see what happened to Tookie and Farrakhan got his million bucks from Negroes in 1995 and ain't give us no type of receipt whatsoever. If I'm going to subsidize your retirement and vacationing you could at least give me a receipt so I could write that -ish off! Anybody else wondering where that Million Man March money went and where the bean pie money goes? I've got a theory. Probably into those futuristic azz 3-piece suits that MUST have personal ventilation and air conditioning systems in them because those guys sell bean pies and newspapers in equator-ish heat. But as usual, I'm getting off topic. Back to O-Jizzle. I must change my statement about his time potentially being wasted. His time would not be so much wasted time as it will be time spent avoiding getting tackled from behind. But nevertheless, what a pathetically lame way to go out! Clinch and squeeze homie.

I wonder how Plies feels about this.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I'm so blessed!

I don't really expose my spiritual side too much on this blog (I reserve that mostly for discussions with my friends and my bible studies), but I just got a phone call that served as another reminder of how blessed I am. Typically, something happens to me like once/week or sometimes more/less often than that and it makes me realize that the man above really is walking with me. Not that this post is going to be spiritual or anything...

To put all this in perspective, let me go back a couple weeks. (I'll try to be brief. But because I probably can't, I'm sure I won't (LOL).)

On my way home around 12am a couple of weeks ago, I was taking my usual route through BodyMore to get home and in the middle of the city, out of nowhere, a deer runs across the street while I'm doing about 60 mph (yes, I was speeding). It was late at night and I saw something that resembled an animal coming from the left but I was in the middle of the city so I didn't think it was a actually a deer! By the time I realized it was in fact a deer, it was running right past the front of my car. After slamming on brakes, I must have missed that thing by less than a foot and it completely scared the crap out of me. I wasn't wearing a seatbelt (big dummy) so considering that hitting a deer is close to hitting a solid, stationary object, I'd probably have went through the windshield. Needless to say, I was thanking God for those entire 2+ miles I had to drive before I got home. That situation made me realize how quickly your life can change but God had spared me of that life-altering event. There's no doubt that I would not have been the same (in some way, shape, or form) had I hit that deer. And oddly enough, even though I didn't hit that deer, I still don't feel like I'm 100% the same person. At that moment I grew somehow. And although I'm not sure how, I'm sure that it will be revealed to me in due time.

This brings me to this past weekend. My mother and brother have birthdays one day after each other. My mom's birthday was Sunday and my brother's birthday was Monday. But my mom called me late last week with the wonderful idea of throwing my brother a surprise bowling party. It was his 21st birthday so we had to do something special even if my brother is pretty low-key when it comes to celebrating things. My mother quarterbacked the surprise party, calling people, finding an alley, etc. And on Saturday night I drove down to D.C. to surprise my brother. The party was lots of fun even though my mom had me take care of everything while we were at the bowling alley. Making sure 25 people get shoes, on a lane, and are able to bowl with who they want is not an easy task. Not to mention when you enjoy bowling yourself and you've got all your brother's friends saying they'll beat you. But what really mattered was the time my brother had and he had a ball!

The co-birthday cake

My brother enjoyed his cake quite a bit (LOL)

Mom after bowling a frame

My brother and my cousin Gil

Me and Gil

Cheese!

The next day (Sunday), my brother and I had organized a surprise birthday dinner for my mother. It was my brother's idea actually and I just sort of ran with it. LOL. I got a few of my cousins on-board along with my stepbrother and made a reservation for Maggianos. We got my stepfather to get my mother out of the house under the pretense that she was going to dinner with him, and the rest of us proceeded to make our way to the restaurant to surprise my mom. My brother and his friends were there along with several of my cousins and my step-brother and his girlfriend. When my mom and stepdad showed up she seemed pretty surprised and very happy. We all then sat down and laughed, joked, and ate our way through 3 courses of Maggiano's cuisine. I gotta mention that Maggiano's was GREAT! I'd never been there before but I will most definitely be going back!

Me and mom

Mom and my stepdad

My stepbrother and my mom

Toast!

My cousin and her husband gettin' all kissy-kissy

And that brings me to this morning. I just got off the phone with the Director of Development at my job and the organization would like for me to take a last-minute trip to Atlanta in a couple weeks to represent the organization at an awards ceremony. This made me feel great because it tells me that the higher-ups here see my hard work, my rapport with my co-workers, and the way I present myself and they feel that I'm worthy of representing our organization at an event where our competitors and supporters will be in attendance. It definitely makes me feel good!

Lately there have been some small but negative things that have taken place in my life. But when those things happen, I never allow myself to get too pessimistic. My mom (the only person I know who is happy 99.3% of the time) instilled in me to focus on the positive and not let anyone or anything deter me from being happy and enjoying every day of my life. And the older I get the more I use that to help me take the bad with the good and keep it moving. All these situations over the past few weeks have really driven home the fact that I am blessed by God to have Him watching over me and to have the family that I have along with everyone else who plays a positive role in my life.

Friday, September 7, 2007

"Primo laced me, Ski did too! ...

... Reasonable Doubt, classic! Shoulda went triple!"