RGIII did jumping jacks... Ummm, so. More importantly, why does he have those big ass jeans on?

I'm just saying.



For real though, why did he have on those gigantic "Hammer" jeans and semi have his jersey tucked in and top it all off with those semi-jumping jacks, lol? Love you RGIII but you might need a stylist bro, lol.

This is one of those really premature "I'm excited about my team way before the season starts" football posts

Now that the NFL schedules for next season has been released. Let me do what the NFL wants me to do what every real NFL fan is going to at least think. I'm going to go through the schedule and predict what I think my favorite will do next season. My disclaimer here is that this assumes RGIII will be back for week 1. And I'm tired of hearing about how he's recovering super quick and all that, just let that man stay out of the media spotlight, get better, and come back strong. Anyway, here goes nothing...

Week 1: At home against the Eagles.... LOSS! Yep, LOSS! I am scared as crap of Chip Kelly's offense with Vick, Jackson, McCoy, and Maclin. Much like the offense the Skins ran all season last year, I don't think anyone's going to be fully prepared for the Eagles until about halfway through the season. That's not saying they're going to go 8-0 but it is saying that if you don't have guys that can consistently tackle people in open space (I submit, DeAngelo Hall, Reed Doughty, and Josh Wilson), you're probably effed unless your team can run up the score or get Vick out of the game so Chip Kelly has to adjust his calls based on a not-so-mobile QB. I joked about how the Redskins need to start studying Oregon tapes now but that isn't really a joke. So yea, a season opening loss at home on Monday Night Football sounds horrible but I actually think it can help temper expectations and humble the squad early in the season so they dig in the rest of the way.

Week 2: at Green Bay.... Well, isn't this just a doozy! From Chip Kelly's offense to the ridiculously surgical Aaron Rodgers in Green Bay. LOSS!

Week 3: At home against Detroit... WIN. This will be a high scoring affair.

Week 4: At Oakland... If we lose to Oakland... Nah, we not losing to no faulking Oakland, screw that!

Week 5: BYE... That's a win in my book, lol. Kind of early in the season for a bye though. That may actually be a bad thing.

Week 6: At Dallas... WIN. DUCK FALLAS! Damn CowGirls.

Week 7: At home against Chicago... WIN! Chicago is going to really be mad that they got rid of Lovie. I don't think that defense will be the same.

Week 8: At Denver... This has the potential to be an amazing game. I actually feel like this is a toss-up but since we'll be in Denver I'm going with a LOSS on this one.

Week 9: At home verses San Diego... WIN. No commentary required.

Week 10: At Minnesota... WIN. AP will have 500 yards in this game but they'll still lose because Christian Ponder is Christian Ponder.

Week 11: At Philly... WIN. Week 11 means half of the season has passed (lol) and the Skins have seen that offense in-person once already. I expect us to be prepared for a WIN.

Week 12: At home against the 49ers... LOSS. I hate to say it because I know Lance is somewhere smiling but I don't see a win happening against that defense.

Week 13: At home against the G-Men... WIN. The Giants are going to be average or stink this year, watch.

Week 14: At home against the Chiefs... This is going to be a WIN but not as easy as people might think considering their new coach Andy Reid knows the Redskins well.

Week 15: At Atlanta... I'm going to this and it is going to be a WIN. Simply because Roddy White shytted on us (sort of) on ESPN First Take last week. And of course I'm going because the strip clubs in Atlanta are going to be off the chain after this game!

Week 16: At home against the CowGirls... WIN. Sweepin' them CowGirls!

Week 17: At the Giants... LOSS. Even though I don't think they'll do that well this year, I got them beating us one out of two times.

That would put the Redskins at 11-5 (that sounds kind of ambitious now that I think about it) with a QB fresh off a destroyed knee and a defense that can't stop a 6 year old from throwing for 300 yards. I'll come back around to this and do an updated season prediction around Week 1. But for now, I'll stick with this. HTTR!!!

Best NFL Retirement Announcement Ever

This is worth the full watch. This guy has a career in TV awaiting him, lol.

Superbowl Prediction

Just for the record, I picked the Ravens to win PRIOR to picking them to lose in the playoffs (see third paragraph below), I'm just saying.

With that in mind I'm picking the Ravens to win the Superbowl for several reasons:

• The most glaring reason is that these guys are going to play their hearts out in an effort to get Ray Lewis a ring on his last "ride".
• The Ravens are a veteran team with a lot of resolve playing a younger team that clearly has about 3-5 years (if everyone stays healthy and doesn't get traded or leave) where they will be vying for NFC and NFL supremacy. I don't think you can discount just how much veterans that produce on-field matter to a team. The Ravens have Lewis, Suggs, Ngata, Pollard, Flacco, Rice, Boldin, McKinnie (yep), and Oher that are all veterans that are proven and will be focused on getting that championship. Not that the young guys on the Niners side won't be focused and ready to play, but it's different when you've come close several times but not gotten the deal done (just ask LeBron before last year).
• The Ravens defense has a solid blueprint on how to stop a QB like Kaepernick AND, if he stays in the pocket, the Ravens have also proven they can stop a QB like sayyyy, Tom Brady. And I doubt that Frank Gore and LaMichael James are going to beat the Ravens by themselves.
• My Washington Redskins beat last year's Superbowl Champions and the last time San Francisco and the Redskins played, San Francisco won.

So there you have it. I expect Baltimore to be purple all weekend and probably for an entire year until the get eliminated from playoff contention or lose in the playoffs next season.

NFL Conference Championship Weekend: All Bets Are Off in the AFC

After the performance the Ravens put on in Denver to pull out that win there is no way I can dismiss them from moving forward to the Superbowl. The Ravens showed a lot of heart, resolve, grit, determination, et. al. I can't help but think that the notion of Ray Lewis retiring at the season's end really is subconsciously or consciously driving and inspiring these guys, not to mention Ray's leadership during the game.

With all that said, I'm gonna pick the Ravens to beat the Patriots 31-27 next Sunday.

As for the other game to be played on Sunday, I don't think Atlanta is tough enough to beat the 49ers. Talented enough, for sure. But do they have the heart to pull off a win against a very tough team and also stop another dual-threat QB 2 weeks in a row? And Kaepernick is probably more of a "problem" than Russell Wilson. If the Falcons pull off this win I'll take back most of the negative stuff I've said about them. But until then, I'm gonna go with the 49ers.

So yeah, get ready for the HarBOWL!

NFL, KG, and a swagged out tux from Lionel Messi

NFL Divisional Round Predictions 

Seattle over Atlanta: People, please stop trying to convince yourselves that the Falcons are any better than they were last year. If this game comes down to a clutch moment do you trust Matt Ryan? If this game comes down to a clutch moment do you feel comfortable saying Russell Wilson won't step up? The answer to those questions should push you toward Seattle.

Green Bay over SF: Sorry Lance but your boys are going down. Unless the Niners can hold Green Bay under 20 points, this game is an easy one. If SF holds then under 20 points, they have a shot and will likely win.

Denver over Baltimore: It was a nice win for Ray Lewis last week at home and a chance for him to go out with a home win. But going to Denver to play Peyton is another thing. This is not Andrew Luck and the Colts who actually stuck around in that game and were competitive last week. Denver came into Baltimore this season and ripped the Ravens a new one, especially Eric Decker. I expect this game to be closer but still expect a Broncos win.

New England over Houston: Put Houston in the same box as Atlanta. Lots of talent, good coaches, but I just don't think they have "it". And "it" is what gets you to a superbowl.

RG3

If you read this blog by now you probably already know that I think RG3 is THAT DUDE. What happened to him sucks and he should have been pulled earlier in the game but it is what it is. The real issue that only a few people have addressed thoroughly is how the Redskins (my team) were stupid enough to keep the field that messy knowing that their franchise player had a knee issue and would run the ball several times during that game. I'm not saying I blame Daniel Snyder for the injury but at the same time, they should have thought about the potential ramifications to their already injured player.

Kevin Garnett

KG's a Hall of Famer. KG's been a great player and is now a solid player at the tail end of his career but from a lot of different things I've heard about him, the guy is an a-hole when he's on the basketball court with some of the stuff he says to other players. When I heard that Melo came out to approach him after the game my first thought was: "This bama KG either owes Melo some serious money or he said something about Melo's wife, Lala". Apparently, KG told Melo at some point during the game that his wife tasted like Honey Nut Cheerios. Which is pretty weird even though I like Honey Nut Cheerios. But it's also ridiculously disrespectful. So when Carmelo said KG said something "you don't say to another man", I figured it was something like that. I actually give Carmelo credit for maintaining his composure during the game and saving his "conversation" for afterward. The only 3 things that will drive an otherwise sensible grown ass man to have that reaction is his family (wifey included) or money. Melo's not gonna go ballistic about KG talking trash about basketball but KG crossed a line. But then again, KG is the same guy who allegedly told Tim Duncan Happy Mother's Day when Duncan's mom had recently died. An a-hole, right?!?!

Miscellaneous: AJ McCarron's Girl and Lionel Messi's Tuxedo

First off, AJ McCarron's girl is pretty for sure and that's pretty much undeniable. But when a girl tweets to you that she hopes you know what you're getting into after you two make it "official" (tweet it, so I know it's real, LMFAO), that's a semi-red flag in my book no matter how "hot" she is. That's stage 3 clinger shyt off the break. So yeah she's hot, but does AJ really know what he *might* be getting into?

Lionel Messi had on a polka-dotted tuxedo jacket and bowtie to the FIFA awards. Apparently the world's most prolific striker is also into fashion. I personally thought the tux was a good look. What do you think?

NFL Wildcard Weekend Predictions

This weekend marks the beginning of the playoffs. As I suspected, my Redskins won because Tony Romo brain farted the game away. I was a little nervous but it's true when they say you can always count on Tony to drop the ball... Or throw the INT... or fumble the hold on the kick. Pick one, he'll taker care of it for you.

This weekend you've got one game that I think will be close and three that I think will be relatively easy wins. Let's start with the easy wins:

Texans vs Bengals: I think the Bengals are a solid team. I LOVE how AJ Green plays and their defensive line is pretty daggon good. But, I believe that their youth will hurt them in this game, especially at the QB position. I know what you're thinking, Matt Schaub is not much better or more reliable which is true but, Matt also has Arian Foster, Andre Johnson, Owen Daniels, and Ben Tate to mask his ineptitude. That is unless, the Bengals somehow jump out to a huge lead and Schaub has to throw to win the game. If that's the case, all the mask is off and Schaub will have to step up. In the end, I think the Texans win this game by a couple TDs.

Packers vs Vikings: Plain and simply, I expect Aaron Rodgers to rip the Vikings defense a new one. Rodgers seemed pretty unhappy last week and they almost won that game. It was in the cards for the Vikings to win because of the drive to get AP to break the record and the euphoria surrounding that effort at the end of the game. But this week the game will be at Lambeau and I doubt the Vikings can put "Giants D-Line last year" type pressure on Rodgers throughout the game. Which means the soon-to-be-named MVP will be heading home after this weekend. What an epic year for Peterson though, like ridiculously epic!

Colts vs Ravens: The Colts defense is pretty much a sieve but a few days ago (read: pre-Ray Lewis announcement), I thought the Colts would come in and play tough and maybe fluster Joe "not too far removed from Romo status" Flacco and be able to throw the ball to Hilton and Wayne effectively enough to squeak out a tough win. And, they've got karma on their side with their coach beating cancer and coming back and ... you know the rest. But once Ray Ray made his announcement the chances of the Colts winning pretty much went to zero in my mind. Read the following closely:

THERE IS NO WAY THAT THE RAVENS PLAYERS WILL ALLOW RAY LEWIS'S LAST HOME GAME TO BE A LOSS!

It's not going to happen. It can't happen. The Ravens won't make it to the Superbowl but maybe they'll get to the NFC Championship riding a Ray Lewis high, maybe. Regardless of where the "ride" ends, Ray Lewis's last home game will likely be a rout led by Ray Rice TDs and Flacco not Flacking up the game. I'd be willing to bet that it's going to be at least one score by the Ravens defense where Ed Reed intercepts a pass, runs to the one yard line, waits on Ray Lewis, pitches it to him, and Ray Lewis rumbles past 5 offensive lineman for the score. Watch, that shyt is gonna happen.

Now for the tough game, one that unfortunately involves my favorite team.

Seahawks vs Redskins: I think most people would say that this game is a pretty even match on paper with both teams being able to put up points but the Seahawks having a better defense. I think this game is going to come down to coaching, offensive execution, and the Redskins defense. If the Skins defense can hold the Seahawks to less than 20 points, I think we win! If not, it's a toss-up. It'll be interesting to see how both teams defend the other side's QB since they have similar styles. If the Redskins can have success running, I think they'll have a good chance to put up 30 points again. The Seahawks interior run defense is all that great though their defense is ranked pretty high this year. The Redskins have the hurculean task of stopping Marshawn Lynch which if I were a Redskins coach, I'd put my eggs in the basket of "let's make the rookie QB that doesn't throw it more than beat us" rather than letting Lynch destroy us like he did the Saints last year. But that's just me and I don't get paid to coach or blog about sports. Anyway, I think this will be an epic game to end the playoff weekend and I can't wait to watch! I've got the Redskins winning 27-24.

The ONLY Reason I'm Nervous about Skins vs CowGirls on Sunday

Tony Romo doesn't scare me. Dez Bryant doesn't scare me. They'll get their numbers for sure but their both one brain fart away from causing a loss for their team. Rob Ryan however, is not to be slept on when it comes to coordinating a defense. His brother gets all the pub (for all the wrong reasons lately) but Rob is mean too!

Rob has seen the Redskins offense once and his defense got smoked like a blunt at Wiz Khalifa's house. Now he's had a week to prepare for an offense he's seen once before and I'm sure he's sitting back thinking of all types of sinister plans to shut the Skins offense down. Granted, the players have to play and DeMarcus Ware isn't going to be 100% healthy but I'm sure Rob is going to come up with a solid plan, it's just a matter of whether his defense can execute it well enough to not give up a lot of points. The Redskins are going to score. I'm guessing we'll put up at least 21 points though I'm not delusional enough to think we'll have all those big plays like last time. Games like this are where guys like Rob Ryan earn their keep and I'm sure he's preparing like a maniac.

My guess... The first team to 30 wins this game. The Redskins aren't going to stop the Cowboys from scoring at least two touchdowns. The key is whether Dallas can stop RG3 (throwing AND running) and Alfred Morris. The Redskins don't have a receiver as explosive as Bryant but between Moss and Garcon, they should be able to perform well enough to win. And if Hankerson keeps catching the ball and doesn't go back to his early-season "Stonehands" edition of himself, I think that he and Josh Morgan can be hold down the "possession receiver" role (even though Moss is better at that).

It should be a good game but of course, I'm rooting for a Redskins win! #HTTR!

Deadskins, huh? Hysteria in Baltimore over the Ravens (LMFAO)!!!

Seriously, after losing to the "uppity Redskins" and our two rookie QBs yesterday and losing to the oldest QB on earth (Charlie Batch), the Ravens have fired their offensive coordinator (rightfully so but he should have been gone months ago) and every football prognosticator in the city is about to claim the end of the Ravens chance at a Superbowl. Personally, I find it all very very funny being a Redskins fan that lives in Baltimore.

Here's how I sum up the alleged Ravens-Redkins rivalry which is really a rivalry between two cities with different personalities that don't "click" with one-another:

I like how in this article from the Baltimore Sun, the writers uses the phrase, "uppity Redskins". That pretty much sums up how much Baltimore fans hate DC fans and why this loss hurts them so much. For years and years DC has been a better city than Baltimore in many ways and most Washingtonians have not been shy about stating it, especially those who have come from the D.C. area to live Baltimore. BUT when it came to football, the Ravens - since they came into the league - have been far more successful than the Skins over that time period. So the one sure thing Baltimore folks always had on D.C., it was FOOTBALL! Yeah, Baltimore has a baseball team too but the Orioles stank so bad Baltimorians couldn't throw the O's in the faces of D.C. sports fans. Not only did Baltimore have the better football team, Baltimore had a tough, "we'll kick your ass in a street fight too!" team! A team that definitely embodied the personality of many in this city. Tough, gritty, locally prideful folk (which is one of the things I respect about real Baltimorians). Baltimore sports fans have always viewed themselves as a tougher, grittier city with more heart and less pomp, circumstance, high-priced free agents, and well... "uppity-ness". So now that they've lost to us after we've been the "bums down '95" the fans here are really hurting. Oh well, let it burn folks and get over it. I'm sure many Ravens fans are thinking "I can't believe we lost to the soft, bum Redskins!" Well yep, you sure did and it sucks to be you for at least a week.

I don't feel bad for Ravens fans at all, especially the obnoxious ones that know very little about football but talk relentless amounts of trash. Any Ravens fan with solid football knowledge and a realistic perspective on their team KNEW that no matter how they felt about the Redskins, that game was going to be a tough one and one the Ravens could easily have lost. Joe Flacco's still the QB ya know?

The Ravens have a great football program with players that were once great and now they're just good. They had an offensive coordinator that failed to use his biggest weapon consistently enough and that's where the Redskins and Ravens are different. The Redskins run EVERYTHING through their most talented player, even on run plays, and even though he's a QB and not a RB like Baltimore's best player, Ray Rice. The Redskins are headed in a positive direction from being a mediocre/bad team for the last X years. The Ravens have been a good team for that same amount of time and now, their stars are getting older, losing a step, and they're QB is on his best day a low-end of the top 10 QBs in the NFL and on his worst day (or just on the road for that matter), one of the 5 worse QBs in the league.

The Ravens will make the playoffs and win a game (or two) and the Redskins likely won't make the playoffs even though we have a good shot. But every year the same thing happens and it will again this year, the Ravens will win a game or two in the playoffs and then it's back home with the Redskins, fighting over stippers at Stadium or the gold-diggin' chicks at the various late-night party spots in Washington. In the end, both cities appear to have good teams this year and although the cities have different personalities, we should be rooting for both cities to do well because if both teams do well it helps all of the Baltimore-DC metro area. It's not a real rivalry by any means when it comes to football. The real rivalry is among the two cities.

Miscellaneous Randomness

The Broner/DeMarco Fight

My cousin, Thomas "Topp Dawg" Williams is a professional boxer and was on the undercard for the Broner/DeMarco fight until his bout was cancelled at the last minute. That was my primary (read: only) reason to go to Atlantic City. I didn't realize that Broner was THIS GUY and that I would be in for another ridiculous performance (both in terms of his boxing ability and his efforts to entertain before, during, and after the bout) by Broner.

As you'll see below, Broner danced his way to the ring with Kendrick Lamar alongside (a great surprise for me as a huge fan of Kendrick's album, "good kid, maad city") and subsequently put on a boxing exhibition reminiscent (tongue-in-cheek) of Floyd Mayweather Jr. on some levels. All his shenanigans aside, Broner appears to be a highly skilled boxer. AKA, Youngin is NICE! I'd like to see him when he fits some solid competition if he hasn't already even though DeMarco was the champ until last night.


Aside from that Special K also told me he used the phrase "no homo" in the post-fight press conference and I'm pretty sure he asked someone to brush his hair after entering the ring. Not to mention he did some sort of Harlem Shake/Stanky Leg dance after he knocked DeMarco out, lol. Shenanigans I tell you!

Eddie Murphy - "Put Your Mouth on Me"

Yeah sooooo, I don't know why I felt the need to post it but I did and just rolled with it. Never forget (lol)...



RGIII

You know good-and-well I wasn't going to let this past Sunday's performance go without mentioning the most exciting player in the NFL did you? I would like to reference you all back to my post predicting his numbers for the season. I predicted he'd throw for almost 4,000 yards, 22 TD, and 15 INT. Right now he's on pace to have less than 10 INTs and throw for close to 22 TDs. He definitely has a chance to be a really great quarterback. I'm not as impressed right now with what he can do on the deal as much as I am with how level-headed and grounded he seems to be. For someone his age, his humility and maturity are both pretty impressive. My Skins aren't likely to make the playoffs this year but things look hopeful for the future. And not that "buy up all the free agents and a coach" in the off-season hope they used to sell every year.

NFL Week 2 aka "I Should Have Known" Weekend

In hindsight, I should have known a few things would happen this week in the NFL.

1. I should have known that the CowGirls would follow-up a great win with a loss on the road to a team they should have beat. Dallas came out and beat the Giants in week 1 and looked great (even though I hate to say it). They travel up to Seattle (hint #1) to play the Seahawks in a stadium that gets really loud (hint #2) and against a team like the Seahawks that no one expects to win so they basically have nothing to lose (hint #3). Needless to say, I took NONE of these hints and still picked Dallas. Silly me.
2. I should have known that my Redskins would do the same dumb shyt the CowGirls would do. I mentioned in my Redskins season prediction that we'd have to keep Stephen Jackson in check and force Bradford to beat us. Well guess what, Jackson didn't play most of the game and Bradford surgically sliced-and-diced that stupid azz zone we were in. A zone that you will always get beat in if the defensive line doesn't put constant pressure on the QB. We didn't, Bradford and Danny Amendola scorched us. Now I could sit here and blame the loss on Josh Morgan and that stupid penalty or on Robinson for dropping that TD pass, or Mike Shanahan for being stupid enough to think Billy Cundiff could make a 62 yard field goal... But I won't do any of that, it's just way too easy. In the end, this should have been a blow-out but much like years passed, we found a way to lose. But my boy RGIII did go for 206, 3 TDs (2 rushing) and 1 INT which is pretty solid.
3. Last but not least, I should have known the Oakland Raiders would lose after going cross-country to play the Dolphins. The Raiders are a model of inconsistency. They really have too much talent to be this inconsistent. McFadden's a beast. Palmer is still decent. And they have some solid receiving weapons. I'm not sure about their defense but they should have enough talent to compete with the Dolphins who have a rookie QB. But again, I should have known better than to think the RAYYYYYDAHS would pull this one off. Smh at myself.

2012-2013 NFL Season Prediction

Leading up to the first game of the season I really want to say that I have a prediction for the Superbowl and who will win the championship but I don't. I have an idea of who I think will make the playoffs, but between the Packers, Ravens, Texans, Lions (yep), Patriots, Niners, and Giants, I just can't call it as far as who I think will win the chip this year. Philly won't win because Vick is going to get hurt. The Panthers will make the playoffs but get ousted during Wild Card Weekend. To much excitement from me, Dallas won't even make the playoffs. The Steelers will find a way to lose a really close playoff game. And the winner of the AFC West will get ousted during Wild Card Weekend. Outside of those predictions, I just can't call it.

Yes, I realize this post is totally underwhelming, but I'm betting that this NFL season won't be.

P.S. - I have the CowGirls losing tonight against the Giants, but based on what I've already written here, I'm sure that's a shock to no one.

My Prediction for the Redskins Season and RGIII

Yup, HTTR all day from August till December (cuz you know we won't be playing in January for another couple years and haven't in several years, lol). Below you'll see my prognostication for the upcoming Redskins season including a game-by-game stats prediction for Robert Griffin III, which will make the season at least a little bit more interesting for me. I'm not one of those ridiculous Redskins fans that thinks we are Superbowl bound (though I do think with great play from our new QB we could potentially get a wild card spot but that's still a long shot). I try to temper my expectations using reality as a guide. Let's be real here, my squad has stunk for the past few years and a ROOKIE QB isn't likely to change that in year 1. But, I do think we have a good enough team to not finish last in the NFC East if we play to the best of our abilities.

At Saints… Loss

Let's not get it twisted, the Saints went through a lot this offseason but going down to New Orleans and playing them in their home opener against a veteran team that can put up points on anyone, that'll be a tough win for us. Chalk this one up as an L.

[RGII Line: 200 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT]

At Rams… Win

We have enough talent to beat the Rams. We'll have to keep Steven Jackson in check and make Bradford beat us with the pass. This will be a good game to see how our offense stacks up against a decent defense that isn't top tier. They have a solid corner in Courtland Finnegan and a solid pass rusher in Chris Long. And overall, Jeff Fisher always has teams with solid defenses so they should not be a pushover in terms of putting up points.

[RGII Line: 230 yards, 1 TD]

Bengals… Win

This SHOULD be a win. A tough win because the Bengals defense is going to play well I suspect. But we should be able to keep up with Dalton and Green. And this is our home opener so everyone will be jacked up for this one.

[RGII Line: 210 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT]

At Tampa Bay… Win

I'm gonna be at this game so I'm going win regardless. But seriously, we SHOULD beat this team. Hopefully we don't get a win the week before, get a big head, and then go on the road and get molly-whopped.

[RGII Line: 250 yards, 2 TD]

Atlanta… Loss

They're just a better team all-around, especially offensively.

[RGII Line: 310 yards, 2 TD, 1 INT]

Minnesota… Win

We lost to Minnesota last year AFTER we knocked AP out of the game. I think this will be a revenge win.

[RGII Line: 230 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT]

At Giants… Loss

We beat them twice last year on their way to winning the Superbowl. They haven't forgot, and as a result will be stomping a mud hole in our asses at MetLife Stadium.

[RGII Line: 280 yards, 1 TD]

At Pittsburgh… Loss

Unless RGIII morphs into Tom Brady or Aaron Rodgers, we do not have a chance. Even then, it'll still be tough to go TO Pittsburgh and beat them. Sorry Skins fans, it's the truth. Let's be real here.

[RGII Line: 180 yards, 1 INT]

Carolina… Win

We lost to Cam last year and I think we'll want revenge this year. I expect this to be a high-scoring affair with us winning on a FG at the end.

[RGII Line: 300 yards, 3 TD, 1 INT]

BYE WEEK… WIN

It's a good thing we've got a bye week here because the next four games are all going to be tough as hell and I've got us only winning one of the and that could easily be a loss.

Eagles… Loss

Even if Vick is hurt by this time (which I fully expect him to be), Kafka or Foles are more than capable of shredding D'Angelo Hall our defense for multiple TDs.

[RGII Line: 240 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT]

At CowGirls… Win

We're gonna probably get swept by the Giants and split with both Philly and Dallas. I've got a hunch we're going to go down to JerryWorld and win this one.

[RGII Line: 280 yards, 1 INT]

Giants… Loss

See the previous Giants game prediction, I haven't changed my stance.

[RGII Line: 220 yards, 1 INT]

Ravens… Loss

This one is going to hurt since I live in Baltimore and don't mind letting people know I'm a Redskins fan. Much like Pittsburgh, this is just a better team that runs enough shenanigans on defense to confuse a veteran QB, let alone a rookie. And they've got solid weapons on offense and I don't believe we can stop all of those weapons.

[RGII Line: 150 yards, 1 TD, 2 INT]

At Browns… Win

If we have any intestinal fortitude then we will rebound from a Ravens loss by heading to Cleveland and beating the Browns. A team that we should definitely be competitive against and should have the veteran leadership and talent to beat.

[RGII Line: 290 yards, 2 TD]

At Eagles… Loss

See my prediction for the previous Eagles game. The Eagles aren't so good that they won't need to fit for playoffs altogether or playoff positioning at this point so they'll have full weaponry dispersed. And we'll be on their turf. Which means, we are focked.

[RGII Line: 280 yards, 2 TD, 1 INT]

Cowboys… Win

At this point the CowGirls will likely have a 0.000003% mathematical chance to make the playoffs and they'll have to go through us to do it. But we'll beat them if that's the case because that's just how the rivalry works. Only, we won't beat them, Tony Romo will dodge 17 sacks in a row, scrambled across the field twice, high-five Jerry Jones, and throw a 50 yard hail mary to Ogletree (of all focking people) on the last play of the game that he will have in his hands, get hit by London Fletcher, bobble, and it will fall into D'Angelo Hall's hand on the half yard line with one second left on the clock. Game over, Redskins win and send the CowGirls home just like we'll be going home. Season over.

[RGII Line: 300 yards, 3 TD, 2 INT]

That will leave us at 8-8 (not including the bye week win, lol) and of course out of the playoffs for yet another year. If you recall, last year I think I made the same prediction and we went 5 up and 11 down so we'll see what happens this year. Keep in mind that we had BeckStacy at QB last year though.

Directly related to this is how I think RGIII will perform this season. You've seen what I have as his stat lines above for each game which would give him the following line at the year's end... 3,950, 22 TD, and 15 INT

I think 22 TD could realistically happen. 15 interceptions may be a few INTs low though. And 3,950 yards seems on the high side as well but I'll stick with it and see what happens.

Sports Round-Up

NFL Draft

• The Irsays Colts should take RGIII but they're gonna take Luck.
• The/My Redskins should trade up to get RGIII at the second pick or stick with the 6th pick, take Morris Claiborne, and try to get Matt Flynn. I do not under any circumstances think that the Redskins should take Ryan Tanneyhill. I'm also not pumped about the Redskins taking Peyton Manning for a 2-year project that'll only end with one, maybe two playoff appearances, and no titles.
• Apparently there's some 346-pound guy that ran a 40-yard dash somewhere right below or above 5 seconds. Message to all mother's... Do not let your sons play quarterback. Encourage him to do something more lucrative and less painful, like becoming a baseball pitcher/player.
• Based on what I've seen on Sportscenter, RGIII had to have had a top-10 40-yard time out of everyone at the combine. And he's a quarterback. That's kind of awesome like the time when Mike Vick ran a 4.33 at the combine like he was chasing down some dogs (I can totally say that now by the way).

NBA Finals Prediction

This is going to sound super lame but barring injury the Heat will be in the Finals. In the West, I'm not sure OKC is a lock because Westbrook has a prima donna in him that comes out at the wrong times (see last years playoffs for an example). Dallas and San Antonio will not go quietly I'm sure and the Lakers and Clippers will also be in the mix as well. The sleeper out west is Memphis but I think they're the Atlanta Falcons of the NBA so I can't pick them. With all that said, I'm going to root for (and pick) a Dallas/Heat rematch, especially if the Mavs somehow land Deron Williams.

NASCAR



First, Danica Patrick was out there driving all weekend like she has a Virginia license. Crash after crash after crash, sheesh. Second, Juan Pablo Montoya almost blew himself up accidentally crashing into the Jet Dryer car (this could really have been a lot worse but it was still pretty bad). Third, in 54 years of having the Daytona 500 this is the FIRST time it's been rescheduled because of rain? Let me get this right... In 54 years an outdoor event in Florida had NEVER been rescheduled due to rain. I'd call that a miracle before the race even began. Last, why in the hell is the most popular race of the year the first race of the season? Wouldn't Nascar be better served by having more minority driveers making the Daytona 500 the final race of the "chase"? I'm sure I'm not the first person to think of this and there has to be a better reason, I just don't know what that reason is. Someone please enlighten me.

Baseball

Ryan Braun should shut up and just play baseball. You failed the test bro but some technicality in the way the sample was handled got you over. Wipe your forehead, say "whewww", and move on and play ball. Now you're going to cause even more of a shytstorm by speaking out as if you were persecuted by MLB. You were persecuted by ESPN and other sports media outlets if anyone. You know, the same outlets that aired you're rebuttal speech when your suspension was revoked. Play ball and let your play do the talking. We'll see this year if your numbers drop like Brady Anderson's after he got off the juice. That'll really tell the story.

Golf

Tiger ain't got it no more. Plain-and-simple. I don't care about the Navy SEAL stuff (his dad was in the military so it makes sense for him to have an interest as well) and I don't care about all the different swing coaches and the new caddy. Tiger just doesn't have that fire anymore. Jack Nicklaus's record is safe [white people].

This commercial makes me laugh every time I see it.

Especially the guy that yells, "that's terrible man!"


Double-post alert.

NFL Round-Up

Tim Tebow (aka The Mile High Messiah aka Football Jesus)

At this point, how can you NOT root for Tim Tebow? I'm guessing that the only way you can't is if: 1) you are a fan of another team in the AFC West, 2) he beat the crap out of your favorite college team while he was at Florida, 3) or you're just a hater.

We all know that Tim Tebow can't throw like an NFL quarterback should be able to. We all know that Tim Tebow has an "elongated motion". But we all know that Tebow is a winner too! What's the most important thing in sports? W-I-N-N-I-N-G!  Sure, his style of QBing won't allow them to win long-term unless he improves as a passer. Sure, he may NEVER be a good passer. But he surely is a winner.

And he's winning while all the analysts are taking small, medium, and large shots at him. Some of which are warranted, others are just because people began talking a bunch of crap about the guy and now they'll look stupid if they completely recant. Bottom line is that Tebow is helping the team win and he's doing it with poise when it counts and after the games he's humble about it all. A lot of these young football players should follow his lead. He's got heart, a great attitude, and I assume he's a hard-worker. I'm not a Broncos fan but I'm rooting for Tebow to continue to succeed and get better.

Also, special shot-out to Tebow for staying so righteous and holy while being in a relationship with...

That was his girl in college and my guess is by now he's probably moved on to bigger and better ummmm, "things".  It's a tough job Tim we know, but if anyone can do it, it's you! Moving right along...

Ndamakung Suh: Look at him, he's big and soft and cuddly... And he smiles too!

He ALSO needs some anger management classes. You can't just go tap-dancing on people's arms AFTER the whistle blows. He should have gotten the two games that he did and I hope he doesn't appeal. He needs to just let it go, take the punishment, and move forward and not do this again. The Lions are done now after losing to the Packers anyway so he may as well take the two games off and come back and start working on how he's not gonna get fined for the rest of this year and next year. I like this guy as a player but he's got some sort of issues going on where he is literally trying to rip people's heads off, knock them out completely with forearms to the head, or mash their heads into the ground then step on them. Really 300-lb person that was a first round draft pick? You thought no one was gonna take notice at your barbarian tactics?

I don't think he's dirty like he's being labeled because I'm sure there's lots of stuff that goes on in the scrums/piles of NFL lineman that's foul and he may just be reacting to that by taking it out on everyone in the wrong ways and at the wrong times (no that doesn't make it right, lol). I think he's got that edge and/or mean streak that a lot of great defensive players have but he's got to do a better job of controlling that aggression.

Will the Packers Lose?

Shot out to the dude on the right in the pic above. And apparently, it really is cold in Green Bay.


I doubt that Green Bay will drop a game this season barring any injuries to their most important players (read: everyone on offense and Charles Woodson, lol). If they don't lose this week to a reeling Giants team that needs a win to have a chance at winning the NFC East, I do not see Oakland coming to Green Bay and winning, Kansas City beating them, or the Bears or the Lions beating them the last two weeks (especially if GB doesn't sit their starters). The only teams that have even a remote shot are the Giants and Bears. If the Giants can pressure Rodgers and control the clock by running the ball they have a shot, especially if Eli/Forrest is having a solid game. The Bears have a great running back that they can use in so many different ways to hurt the Packers defense but if they have to keep pace scoring with the Packers, they no longer have a QB capable of doing that (I think Caleb Hanie proved that last week) and they really don't have the WRs to do it. If only Matt Forte could play RB and 2 WR positions, at the same time, lol.

With all that said, I think the Packers would be better served in the long-run by losing a game. If they drop a game sometime in the next couple of weeks it'll burn pretty badly because they're so close to a perfect (regular) season. They'll take that fire into the playoffs and really go on a tear I'd bet. Aaron Rodgers is playing out of his mind and will have a bad/subpar game or two this season and that's when they could potentially lose.  If I were the Pack I'd rather see that game/those games happen during the regular season than in the playoffs.

Superbowl Picks

Packers vs. The Steelers/Ravens. Part of me wants to see Ray Lewis win one so he can retire on top though I'm not a Ravens fan. Another part of me thinks the Ravens will lose to the Broncos in the playoffs on some bum shyt like they lost to Seattle, Tennessee, and the Jags. The Steelers aren't the same Steelers but they play tough every game and that'll make them a contender until the end. Tom Brady and his team can't play defense well enough to make it and Houston losing Schuab is a killer. The Ravens or Steelers defense against the Packers offense will be a great game. But the Packers will have a hell of a playoff game against the 49ers if the gods are good to football fans this postseason, lol.

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Cam Newton

I had my doubts about Cam initially because I thought he'd be a prima donna but he's playing solid and if he had more weapons around him (like a consistent running game and a second reliable receiver) they may have went 6-10 or 8-8 this season. One other thing I like about Cam is this guy wears some MEAN AZZ SUITS after the game. You can tell his daddy is a preacher cuz youngin' be smoother than a pearl-handled pistol at that podium.

Defensive Rookie of the Year: Von Miller (honorable mention to Ryan Kerrigan)

I almost took Miller with the last pick in one of my fantasy leagues (who cares about a kicker) and I should have. He's having a heck of a year on an average team but he's showing that he has an innate ability to get after the ball. Now if he could only lose those dumb-azz glasses.


League Offensive MVP: Aaron Rodgers (honorable mentions to Drew Brees, Peyton Manning, and Matt Forte)

I do not need to explain this one. If it's not gonna be him it has to be Drew Brees who is most likely going to break Dan Marino's passing yards record for a single season. One that he could have broken a few years back. Matt Forte for obvious reasons and Peyton Manning because his team really does suck worse than I could have ever imagined without him. They're not winning a game this year.


League Defensive MVP: Patrick Willis

Beast! I know how much airtime the superstar safeties in Pittsburgh and Baltimore get (as well as the LB in Baltimore) but Willis has been a consistent beast at LB since he came into the league. He doesn't get all the INT returns for TDs and he's in San Fran and they have been sucking so he's not gonna get the same publicity as the Baltimore and Pittsburgh guys but please believe he is just as good and means as much to his team as any of those other guys do to theirs. The most miraculous things he's helped with in my opinion is getting Carlos "Stonehands" Rogers to learn how to actually catch an interception, because he surely could not do that when he played for my Skins.

NFL Picks - Week 3

This week, it's time for everyone to sip a little bit of that Cammy Cam Juice. Cam has been putting up good numbers so far and I don't expect those 300+ yard games to keep coming but he does have the Jags this week. Not to mention the Jags will have a rookie QB starting just like the Panthers. I'm gonna predict that Cam gets his first win this week. It's not a very courageous pick but still. As for the rest of my picks...

Pats over Buffalo: Buffalo's good this year, but not good enough to beat New England with the way Tom Brady is playing. I think this is gonna be a high scoring game but Belicheck's defensive mind > Fitzpatrick in crunch time.

Bengals over Niners: I really want to pick San Francisco in this one. I like their coach, they've got the best run defense in the league, and Cincy is starting a rookie. But I just can't take the Niners, not on the road.

Cleveland over Miami: Miami played well on the road last year but I don't think they'll be able to stop Cleveland from running the ball. Lots of Peyton Hillis and few well-timed play-action passes from Colt McCoy should do the trick in this one.

Titans over Denver: The Titans beat the Ravens last week but that's not why I'm picking them. I'm picking them because they play well at home, Chris Johnson is due for a break-out game, and Denver's QB is bound to make a few mistakes. And Kenny Britt is playing pretty freakin' good so far this year. Let's see if he can stay out of trouble off the field and keep producing on it.

Detroit over Minnesota: McNabb's washed up, Detroit's defensive line can crowd the run and rush the passer. Detroit's offense has too many weapons. Detroit in possibly a rout.

New Orleans over Houston: Houston's a trendy pick this year but in case you haven't noticed, New Orleans is still good. They could have won in Week 1 against GB and probably should have. They won last week, and now they get the Texans in the dome. I'm not betting against Drew "Did I Get the Mole Completely Removed" Brees in this one. Too many weapons and I think he will be able to expose the fact that the defense in Houston is a new one.

Philly over Giants: The Giants are injured all over the place and Philly has too many weapons.

Carolina over Jacksonville: Cam gets his first win!

Oakland over Jets: This is a pick I went back-and-forth about but I'm going out on a limb and taking a chance on Oakland here. They have been playing really well so far this year and Darren McFadden is looking really good running the ball. Of course, if anyone can stop him from running well it's probably the Jets, Steelers, or Ravens but I have a feeling that he'll be ok in this one. If Jason Campbell outplays Mark Sanchez the Raiders win this one.

Baltimore over St. Louis: After losing to Tennessee I'm expecting the Ravens to pulverize the Rams.

San Diego over Kansas City: Jamaal Charles is out, their defense stinks. What more do I need to say?

Green Bay over Chicago: Green Bay is simply a better team. Chicago can't protect Cutler very well and Aaron Rodgers will play well as long as they keep two guys blocking Julius Peppers. Much like New Orleans verses Houston, I think that Green Bay has too many weapons and too good of a QB to lose this one.

Arizona over Seattle: Arizona is slightly better than Seattle. I'm expecting Larry Fitzgerald to have a really good game.

Atlanta over Tampa Bay: How Atlanta is the underdog in this game when they won against the Eagles last week is beyond me.

Pittsburgh over Indy: Tougher team overall and Peyton's not coming back any time soon.

Washington over Dallas: This is going to be a fun game to watch. I think Romo's going to play well and I'm hoping Rex plays well also. I know it's going to be tough for the Skins to go into Dallas and win this game but I think that they will stick to running the ball and controlling the clock and allowing Rex to take a few shots downfield. A hurt Romo is still pretty dangerous but without Dez, Miles, and probably Felix Jones (if he plays I don't think he'll be in there long), I think the Redskins can pull this one off.

NFL Picks - Week 2

It was a pretty exciting week 1 of the season with HUGE numbers put up by QBs and a couple running backs putting up some great numbers as well. The Indy beatdown we all expected happened and the biggest game of the week - Ravens/Steelers - produced an unexpected beatdown. Going into week 2 I found it pretty tough to make several of these picks and it looks like we're going to have another great week of football with 3 HUGE games: New England/San Diego, Philly/Atlanta, and New Orleans/Chicago. Here are my picks...

Buffalo over Oakland: Oakland runs the ball, well. Buffalo gave up more than 100 yards rushing last week. It's gonna be tough for Oakland to go into Buffalo and win this game and I initially picked them but coming across the country and playing a Buffalo team that played a lot of good teams very well last year and came out last week and plastered Kansas City, I'm gonna take them.

Detroit over Kansas City: Kansas City should win this game, but I don't think they will. If the Lions defensive line gets pressure on Cassel I think he'll make mistakes. The Lions offense is going to be productive so as long as their defense holds up and they can keep Cassel from beating them, I think they'll win this one. I don't think Jamaal Charles can single-handledly beat the Lions. We'll see.

Baltimore over Tennessee: This was probably the easiest pick of the week aside form the Pittsburgh and Carolina games. If Baltimore plays even half as good as they did last week this is a win. One thing I would be afraid of if I was a Ravens fan, is the Ravens (read: their secondary) getting a false sense of confidence based on last week's game and letting Kenny Britt go off on them. I am sure the Ravens d-line and LBs will be focused but those DBs, I'm not so sure. So far it looks like the Ravens offense is clicking very well and if that remains the case, the Titans won't be able to stop them. I'm just hoping that Chris Johnson can break a long run or two and get a TD to help out my fantasy squad, lol.

Indy over Cleveland: I don't think Indy is as bad as the score from last week would make one think. It was a road divisional game against a team that's had more talent for a couple years now and Peyton wasn't playing. Most of us saw that win coming a mile away. This week, they get Cleveland whose a lot less talented overall but can run the ball really well. If Indy can stop Peyton Hillis from running too much they've got a good shot at winning. I don't think they're offense will be as bad as it was last week and this is their home opener so they'll play hard for the home crowd. Hopefully Peyton shows up to give the team a morale boost.

Minnesota over Tampa Bay: Minnesota's passing game was non-existent last week. I don't think that'll happen this week and I do think that Purple Jesus could lead them to a win all by himself. Minnesota's been ok against the run in the one game they've played. It's Minnesota's home opener as well and I think Tampa Bay is a team they can squeak a win out against in a really charged up stadium and McNabb can't suck as much as he did last week in the passing game. He can't (I think).

New Orleans over Chicago: I think this is going to be a shoot-out. But New Orleans playing at home against a team that's not as good offensively as the Packers (who the Saints stayed with for most of that game) and I think they have a pretty good home-field advantage in their dome sooooooo, Saints in a shoot-out, 41-37.

Jets over Jags: I don't think I need to explain this one.

Pittsburgh over Seattle: I feel bad for Seattle having to come to Pittsburgh a week after they got their you-know-whats handed to them by the Ravens. I'm expecting big games from Ben, Rashard, and Lawrence Timmons.

Washington over Arizona: I didn't pick the Skins last week but I'm taking them this week after a pretty solid performance. One thing they may want to keep in mind however is that they should not kick to Patrick Peterson and they might want to slide coverage to Larry Fitzgerald's side. I'd take my chances at letting Todd Heap and Early Doucet beat me. On the offensive side of the ball for the Redskins it looks like Rex is pretty comfortable back there when there's not a lot of pressure and the running game is solid. Hopefully Hightower gets amped for this game against his old squad and has a great performance. That'll open some play-action up for Rex. The one variable here is that if the Cardinals blitz Rex and get his confidence down early in the game, it may be a long day for the Skins.

Green Bay over Carolina: I expect this to be a blowout. Neither Cam nor Steve Smith South will have as good games as they had last week. Not against this defense. I think Cam will do better than people (including myself) expects but I'm predicting a couple INTs (maybe one for a TD) from Cam and a heavy dose of Greg Jennings from the Packers.

Dallas over San Fran: This is a must-win for Dallas. Actually, it's a must-win for Romo. Robb Ryan's defense pressuring Alex Smith does not bode well for Niner fans (sorry Lance).

Cincy over Denver: I don't have very much confidence in Denver and they should be able to beat the friggin' Bengals but I think Cincinnati's defense is going to play well and if they can get Cedric Benson going it'll help open up some things in the passing game for the redhead (Andy Dalton). If Denver loses this game they may as well just mail it in the rest of the season. Especially considering that they're playing at home (again).

Houston over Miami: I do not believe that Tony Sparano's team is just going to lay down for the Texans because they played pretty well against the Patriots if you watched that game. But I don't think that offensively they can keep up with Houston if Houston gets going. Chad Henne and Brandon Marshall don't appear to be on the same page and Reggie Bush (the greatest skat-back of the last 5 years) might get a big play but it won't be enough.

New England over San Diego: This was the toughest game for me to pick. I really think San Diego has everything it takes to beat the Pats but playing on the Pats home field in their season opener, I just don't know. I'll take New England and Brady coming off through 500+ yards and Belicheck's defensive mind.

Atlanta over Philly: Atlanta stunk it up last week and Philly played well. Philly has a ridiculous amount of firepower offensively but Atlanta's not too shabby either. I think Atlanta's going to rebound from that loss in Chicago and win this home-opener and spoil Mike Vick's return to town as a starter. I'm expecting a couple key mistakes from Vick in this one that will give Atlanta the victory.

Giants over Rams: If Bradford's finger wasn't hurt and Danny Amendola and Stephen Jackson weren't out, I'd be taking the Rams. But the Giants have enough offensive firepower (even when Eli/Forrest Gump is playing subpar) to beat the Rams. Mike Sims-Walker hasn't shown up yet and I don't expect him to this week.

What I Learned from Week 1 of the NFL Season

Either this is the year of the quarterback or defenses have really suffered from the lock-out

I think there was something like 5 games where the QB for each team threw for more than 300 yards. IN WEEK 1! Not to mention Brady throwing for 500+ and Cam Newton throwing for more than 400. Though I think Cam's performance is more of a statement about the Cardinals defense and Steve Smith shutting up and playing than it is Cam's prowess as QB in his first game. Don't get me wrong, I'm rooting for Cam to do well but I'm just saying. Brees, Rogers, and Brady all looked good and I am not surprised though I didn't expect Brady to put up 500 yards.

The Ravens might actually be scary this year

I'm a die-hard Redskins fan and I am usually indifferent to the Ravens but at the same time I don't mind seeing them win. Every year they're a contender and every year they find a way to lose a close game in the playoffs but as all the Ravens fans tell me, "at least we're IN THE PLAYOFFS". Yeah yeah yeah, but on Superbowl Sunday your team is sitting the same place as mine.. AT HOME! Anyway, the Ravens looked really good against the Steelers so that can only mean one of two things: 1) The Ravens may actually be the beast of the AFC this year, or 2) as usual, the Ravens will beat the Steelers in the regular season when it counts the least and then lose to them in the playoffs. Good luck to the Ravens though because the more you win, the safer Baltimore City is for me and everyone else that lives here and doesn't particularly care about the Ravens.

Shot out to Cam Newton

Even though I kinda discredited his performance in the first paragraph above, I gotta give Cam some credit. Everyone expected him to come out and look to run first and only pay attention to one side of the field (which kinda still held true) and he came out and threw for 400+ yards in his first game. That's impressive no matter how bad the other team's defense is because Cam didn't play in a pro style offense last year and no matter how good those defenses in the SEC are, the Cardinals defense is still better than all of them (sorry Alabama). I hope Cam can keep it up, just not the week they play the Redskins.

Whoever wins the NFC is going to go to the Superbowl beat the heck up

In the NFC you've got Green Bay, Atlanta, Philly, and New Orleans who were all pre-season favorites to win. Now you've got to consider Chicago the way they beat up on the Falcons Sunday. Dallas probably gets an honorable mention in this category off potential alone (even though I can't stand Dallas). With Detroit in the NFC North division it's going to make it a hard-fought NFC east championship for Green Bay or Chicago. It's going to be interesting to see how this plays out with regard to injuries and division winners. And don't be surprised if the Bucs play really well towards the end of the year.

Von Miller is going to be a beast

Nothing more to say than that. He's looking like a veteran from day one.

New England isn't going to win the AFC Championship

I guess this is my first real prediction so far this year. The Pats looked pretty good last night against the Dolphins but their defense game up 300 yards to Chad Henne. No offense to Chad Henne even though he sucks but teams like the Ravens, Steelers, and Jets aren't going to give up that many points to the Pats and have QBs that are better than Chad Henne even on their bad days. New England will be a contender, but they won't win it. The AFC is gonna come down to the Ravens, Steelers, and Jets. I know this might sound like an easy decision but you've still got San Diego, Houston (who I think is one year away from being a true top-tier AFC team), and [drum roll] Oakland. Yep as Chris Berman would say it, the RAAAYYYYYYYDAHS!

Tim Tebow will be starting for the Broncos by Week 5 at the latest

If they lose next week the man I jokingly call "Football Jesus" - because he's spiritual and people praise him like he's Jesus - will be at the helm for the Broncos. He'll will that team to a few wins late in the season, they'll ship Orton away, and then a new QB controversy will start for next season.

Peyton Manning is not going to play this season

Let's do the math, 2-3 months to recover from surgery and after that some "nerve regeneration". 2-3 months puts him at mid-Nov at the earliest and mid-Dec at the latest. Then he has to wait for nerves to regenerate so he can get the strength back in his arm. That's gonna take another couple of weeks at the least, putting him at early Dec or early Jan (week 17). If he's coming back in early December and they're out of the playoff hunt (which based on this weekend's game they surely will be), why even play him? And if it's week 17, why play him? Why risk the investment? If the Colts are smart they'll start checking out the top 3 QBs expected to come out in next year's draft. And I'm still wondering how Curtis Painter could be Peyton's back up for as long as he has and they still think that bringing in Kerry Collins was a better option. Painter has been in the system, presumably knows it better than Kerry, but still doesn't get to start. That vexes me.

Last but not least, no superbowl prediction just yet but by Week 4 I think I'll be ready.

Football BACK! Football Back! That's all the fans screaming that FOOTBALL BACK!

All eyes on the field, you can picture me throwin'
Time to hit the weight room cuz I gotta get swollen 
All summer I balled, hoodrats having my babies 
Somehow the deal got done, even though the owners were shady 
They screaming football back! football back! 
That's all the fans screaming that FOOTBALL BACK!

In case you're wondering, YES I wrote that myself but it's inspired by Rick Ross' "Tupac Back".

Now that I've got that out of my system I will continue my tradition of picking my winners for each week of the NFL season. Without any further (Freddy) adieu, here are my picks for Week 1.

Green Bay over New Orleans: Opening night after a Superbowl win, at home, I'm taking the Pack! I really hope this is going to be as great a game as I'm thinking it will. Two great offenses that can put up points and one defense that's really good. I'm hoping this turns into a shoot-out and not a defensively-dominated game. We'll get enough defense this weekend when the Steelers and Ravens clash.

Atlanta over Chicago: If Atlanta can play good defense this year they are going to make things difficult for GB, New Orleans, and presumably Philly. They aren't so much a sleeper pick this year as they were in years past but we all know their offense is balanced and they've added another weapon in Julio Jones (though I expect Harry Douglas to have a break-out season), but the question is how well will their defense play because they'll have to go through one or more of those teams I just mentioned in order to get to the Superbowl.

Cleveland over Cincinnati: Finish this sentence: "They should call this game the Dookie Bowl because both of these teams play like some..." But, Cleveland's a better team overall with Peyton Hillis, Josh Cribbs, and (dare I say it) Colt McCoy. Speaking of McCoy, he's looked stellar in the preseason and I'm actually rooting for him to do well this year because he's on one of my fantasy teams (bench guy, of course) and because everyone was hating on him last year. Evidently, the offense they're running now is much better suited to his skillset or he's adapted. Hopefully he does well.

Kansas City over Buffalo: Although I think this is the year when the Chiefs fall off a cliff and land in third place in this division, I don't have the confidence for Buffalo to go on the road and get this win. I love my man Stevie Johnson and I want him to do well but I just can't see Buffalo's defense stopping Charles, Bowe, and Cassel (since it appears he'll play even with the rib "issue").

Philadelphia over St. Louis: I'm not as sold on Philly (I won't dare mouth the term, "Dream Team") even on paper as other people seem to be. Like I have mentioned to numerous people, it's a long season and each game still has to be played and injuries can happen. Philly went out this season and did the same things Dan Snyder used to try to do in Washington every off-season. The only difference is, the Eagles were smart enough to get guys still in their prime rather than past their prime versions of Deion Sanders and Bruce Smith and whomever else I don't want to remember us signing. Philly will win this game but I bet St. Louis and Mr. Bradford keep things close. By the way, Mike Sims-Walker much?

Detroit over Tampa Bay: Detroit is my sleeper team in the NFC this year. Their D-LINE is going to be a P-R-O-B-L-E-M!  Seriously, the only other person that believes this as much as me is Michael Wilbon. Yet-and-still, you cannot block all these freak athletes on that line, even with Nick Fairley out for the time being. If Detroit's offense can keep Jahvid Best healthy and Matt Stafford healthy...Watch OUT!  Megatron is gonna do his thing regardless and another one of my sleeper performers this year is Titus Young. Just remember the name and that he's their slot receiver.  Tampa Bay's my brother's favorite team so I sometimes care if they win but this game is not one of those times.

Tennessee over Jacksonville: I'm picking the Titans mainly because of Pinbal (read: Chris Johnson) and the fact that I think the Jags are going to quit on their coach this year. After the way Jack Del Rio handled the David Garrard situation (he basically Byron Leftwich'd him) I don't see how that team can respect him enough to go out there and play with a mediocre QB for a few weeks just to have him transition things over to a rookie QB. I'm sure MJD will be out there giving it his all but I'd bet that there are guys on that team that are just gonna be playing hard enough to not get hurt. That sounds weird but if you've played football you know that mailing it it can turn into serious injury.

Baltimore over Pittsburgh: I'm taking the Ravens for a few reasons: 1) Revenge. The Ravens lost last season to Pittsburgh in the playoffs. 2) The Ravens will win this because it's the regular season and not the playoffs when it really matters. 3) This is the shocker... I would like to see the Ravens win this game. And finally 4) because I live in Baltimore and people are genuinely happier here for the week when the Ravens win. But if it's a close game (which it most likely will be) and it comes down to Joe Flacco winning the game on a 2-minute drive I will be mentally changing my pick to the Steelers because Joe's good, but he still hasn't shown me that he can win the big game against tough opponents, in clutch time. Over Cincy and Cleveland sure, but against the best competition, not so much.

Houston over Indianapolis: Even if Peyton was playing I'd still take Houston.  Houston's going to win the division this year if their defense can play even just a smidgeon better than mediocre at the cornerback position. If their corners play well, they win the division. If their corners suck, they finish second or third in a division (Colts, Titans, Jags) that they should easily finish at the top of if Peyton's out for an extended period of time. The Texans have the Ravens, Falcons, Steelers, Saints, and Raiders on their schedule. Aside from those games, they could probably run the table. You're laughing but seriously go look, if they were the Patriots you'd be saying "yo, they could run the table outside of those games". The Texans should be a 9 or 10 win team this year, that's all I'm saying.

Arizona over Carolina: Cam's first year, Kolb's "first" year sort of. I'll take Kolb and Fitzgerald over Cam and Shockey. Home field advantage doesn't mean much here but if Arizona lets DeAngelo Williams get going early this could definitely be a Carolina win.

San Diego over Minnesota: $20 says Donovan McNabb comes out looking rusty and throws an INT or 2. Adrian Peterson is gonna get his yards but I'm not convinced that the Vikings defense can stop San Diego and I'm definitely not convinced that the Vikings offense can score the way San Diego potentially can. I want Donovan to do well but I have a feeling that in this game he might try to do too much to prove everyone (read: Mike & Kyle Shanahan) wrong.

San Francisco over Seattle: Flip a coin, who cares. Sorry Lance. Granted, on paper this should be a win for the 49ers. Pretty talented group with Gore, Crabtree, Edwards, and Willis leading the defense. But the one spot they stink at is the most important one, quarterback. If Alex Smith can play well this should be an easy win but he usually makes things hard on himself and his team. As for the Seahawks, I think they should do like the Supersonics and move to Oklahoma. Only difference is, I think they should replace the Seahawks roster with Oklahoma's roster and I bet you it'd be a more competitive team.

Giants over Redskins: By now you know I'm a Redskins fan. Not yet a reluctant fan but I do consider myself a realistic Skins fan. If you read my prediction for the Skins season this year you know I expect us to lost this game. It's gonna suck to lose your home opener in Week 1 but the Giants defensive line pressuring Rex Grossman just doesn't seem like something I should have a whole lot of confidence in.

Jets over Dallas: I would not be surprised one bit if Dallas wins this game. I think Dallas is going to be good this year with Romo back and they've still got a LOT of weapons on offense. Problem is, the Jets defense is a beast and pressuring Romo either turns him into Brett Favre or Heath Shuler. I'm taking Shuler on this one.

New England over Miami: The funny thing about the Patriots is that even though the only true big name they put on the field every week is Tom Brady, you can never bet against these dudes. Especially not against a team like the Dolphins that probably has more big name talent but just can't put the whole package together.  Don't sleep on Cameron Wake on Miami's defensive line though. That dude is a monster!

Denver over Oakland: Oakland is a trendy pick here because they ran the table in their division last year. But I'm not falling for it. In Denver against Football Jesus (Tim Tebow) - even though he probably won't play - I don't think so.  In the end, Kyle Orton was the right choice to start at QB and if the Broncos are smart they create a goal line package centered around Tebow. Orton had a great rapport with Brandon Lloyd last year (as fantasy owners will attest) and Knowshown backed up by Willis "Looking For My Next Baby Momma" McGahee is a good dual attack at running back. I think Denver has a chance to do well this year but the problem is, their defense is ridiculously porous. If they can tighten things up on defense they should be decent enough to finish in the top half of this division. They'll win this game then lose to the Raiders in Oakland.

P.S. - No, I don't have Superbowl picks yet.