Under Construction

I've given in and decided that I'm going to update my blog in order to be able to use some of the newer functionality Blogger provides. I've been holding out on this for a minute because I have done a lot of my own little tweaks to this page over the years and I don't want to throw it all away - which is essentially what I'm about to do - in order to allow for more functionality.

So if things seem a little wacky here over the next couple of weeks that's why. The most immediate change you'll see if the layout and color scheme as I'm going to have to change to a new template. From there I'll be updating the new template with some of the old features I liked (the tag cloud for example) and incorporating some new gadgets.

Please stick with me as I change things around a bit, for the better.

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Usual Suspects

When I first heard a snippet of Usual Suspects (courtesy of eskay) I was super-pressed to hear what NaSiR's verse was going to sound like. Ross held his own on the preview verse and the beat is arguably one of the album's best. When I finally heard the full song I felt like Ross out-rapped NaS but that's just my opinion. I've gotten into a couple arguments about this already and I am NOT saying NaS's verse is weak by any means but ... Ross 2nd verse > Nas verse > Ross 1st verse. Tell me why I'm wrong in the comments.

Usual Suspects - Rick Ross (feat. NaS)

I'm too cool for lame dudes to ridicule/I laugh while I'm doin' laps in the swimming pool: First thought was --> "I'm stealing that too cool line". Second thought --> "Ross can swim? NO WAY!"

And still my talent has yet to be challenged: Dare I say this is a shot at Jay-Z?

But back then dough was like a whore that Goldie loved, it didn't exist/and Officer Foley cuffs was after my wrist/was not Beverly Hills where we chilled/Imagine this the Nazareth had to get from rags to rich/I used to stand on rooftops with two glocks/Thinking how could I turn my Timberlands to Crocs/Now reptiles is left out I'm 'bout a watch: That right there is poetry my friends. NaS laced that! Officer Foley --> Beverly Hills...Rags to rich --> Timberlands to Crocs...Reptiles --> Watches with reptile skin. Dope!

As my 'fetti grow f--ck her, feed her Spaghetti-O's: Selfish, are we? How you gonna get more money and make your girl eat Spaghetti-O's? That ain't right!

Wow! This might be the least outlandish song on the album.

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club

Facebook Man Law #3

Technically, this will be Facebook Law #3 (if we're counting the first Man Law and the second Law) but this one might be the most important one so far. So listen up fellas!

Facebook Man Law #3: No (presumably) heterosexual male is allowed to POKE another (presumably) heterosexual male on FaceBook under any circumstances!!!

Homosexuality Clause: If the recipient is straight and then sender of the "poke" is gay, then the law still applies. If the recipient is gay and the sender is straight, then the sender is now automatically gay. If both parties are gay, then the law is in-applicable.

Fellas, I do not care how nice/cool I am with you, if you are in the closet, out-of-the-closet, or undecided of where you want to be, do not interpret my niceness as an invitation to poke me on FaceBook. That shyt is beyond my threshold of things I will tolerate from gay, kinda, or "hasn't yet realized they are gay" male friends. I do not want to log into my FaceBook account and see that "Dexter St. Jacques" has poked me. Right after I say "no this mf-er didn't!" I'm going to automatically remove that questionable shyt and then re-evaluate my friendship with you. I will admit that I have come a LOOOOOOOONG way in getting past my homophobias but your boy has to draw the line somewhere. Seriously!

You are going to turn this...

Guy to his boy: "Yo man Cherese just poked me on FaceBook. I think she got a thing for the kid!"

To this BOWLshyt...

Guy to his boy: "Man this m*ther*fcker D done changed his name to 'Delicious' on FaceBook and had the audacity to f*cking poke me (pause)!!! I might smack the sh*t out this bama when I see him!"

Get it? GOOD! Chances are I'll still be cool with you whether you like guys/girls/animals/whatever but like I said, I gotta draw the line somewhere. Please respect my InterWeb personal space by refraining from doing something as questionable as "poking" me on FaceBook. That just sounds wrong even thinking about it, let alone typing it, saying it, or seeing it on my FB home screen. I wanted to smack my computer off the desk when I saw that crap!

And if this post makes you feel some kinda way I'm talking to your poking a$$ (pun intended)!

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Yacht Club

Yacht Club is my first or second favorite track off of Deeper Than Rap (it's a close battle between this song and Valley of Death). The vibe of this song is sooooo laid back and smooth that I can't help but turn it up loud and imagine myself on South Beach when I hear it. Maybe I need to start imagining myself on a yacht?

Yacht Club - Rick Ross (feat. Magazeen)

Pu--ies don't get pu--y: I didn't really pay this line much attention the first time I heard the song because Ross says a lot of recklessly crass stuff in general and I've come to ignore a lot of it. But my buddy Lance mentioned in his twitter feed that he hates that Ross says it throughout the album and now I'm reminded of Lance's tweet every time I hear Ross say it. THANKS A LOT RIPROCK!

I'm not bigger than Biggie, b*tch I'm bigger than you: How can you not love Ross's unintentional use of the much sought-after but not often achieved quadruple-entendre (there's no way he's lyrically talented enough to have though of this one)?

1. Physically he's not bigger than Biggie
2. Musically he's not bigger than Biggie
3. He's probably musically bigger than whomever he's addressing here (God only knows who though)
4. He's probably physically bigger than ALMOST EVERYBODY except for Biggie so does it really matter who he's talking to?

The fat Tommy Lee I made out with like eight broads: I might dare go out on a limb and call that a classic Rick Ross line. Not because it's classic in the broader spectrum of dope bars that have been spit but because it's hilarious when you think about Ross comparing his sexual exploits to Tommy Lee. There's now way Ross can even come close to Tommy Lee's Ron Jeremy-ish exploits.

She no speaky no engli-maybe Fat Joe can teach her: That was kinda slick. It made me chuckle anyways. I remember reading on someone's blog (maybe it was Bol's)recently about how for all this coke/Noriega/Escobar talk Rick Ross probably can't speak a lick of spanish and here Ross goes giving away his secretsof foreign communication. Cook Coke CRACK!

Janet was in control, because the hoe left: Another one of those out-of-nowhere lines like the one about Puffy and Total. I don't understand what the point of this is other than a quick word play on Janet Jackson and her album entitled Control. I also don't get the connection as far as how she was in control because she "left". "Left" what? Who? Ross, I'm going to need you to study Jigga a little bit more than you obviously have in preparation for writing this album and start making more solid connections to your quips.

My d*ck a big stretch: I think I understand what he was trying to say but I just wish he would have said this another way.

Told her to kiss your a$$ after you bought the b*tch breasts: A tip to all you trickin' fools out here. Don't play yourself.

I'm into frying fish with a slight lime twist: I thought he was into friggin' crabMEATS? Make up your mind already! I guess he's a seafood connoisseur. And wouldn't it be lemon rather than lime when we're dealing with seafood? Ross probably puts ketchup on his scallops I bet. He so hood!

Roll with a Navy SEAL: Here he goes again just throwing things out there that don't really make sense but rhyme. But it is kinda funny to think of a seal in the context of Rick Ross's stature. Hehe. Navy SEAL though? I think NAUGHT!

Still sippin' champagne, or is it merlot: Who confuses champagne with merlot? Let me help you out Ross: "Stay sippin crushed grapes, let's call it pinot/I call it fine wine, some call it vino/". I'm available to ghost-write for all under-educated rappers for as little as $100/bar. Holla at ya boy!

And in case you're like me and you're wondering what Greedy Geniu$ clothing is, here ya go. I'm sure Curly is going to act like I'm a bama since I didn't already know what Greedy Geniu$ clothing was but I don't care. You know you are! ADMIT IT CURLY!

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent

I Got It For CHEAP!

Tamiflu that is!

And I have it for cheaper than the Clipse old manager Geezy. My homegirl just sent out a tweet asking whether or not she should go to Mexico for a Memorial Day wedding. I told her sure, if she's wearing this...

Or even better, this...

My exact words to her were: "Eff with that pork flu if you want. Mexicans are dropping like sleezy villains in a Jackie Chan movie". Perhaps a bit corny and over-the-top but I'm sure she gets my point. With that said, I still didn't tell her NOT to go. Who better to risk a Mexican pandemic for than a friend? Not that I'd risk it for any of you (I kid, I joke).

Honestly though, I feel kinda bad for her because I know she loves to travel and how loyal she is to friends. Yet-and-still, if anyone is going to catch flu generated from an animal that produces bacon, sausage, chitterlings, and scrapple I'm not even going to explicitly say who it would probably be (again I kid, I joke).

Seriously though, this swine flu outbreak has something fishy written all over it. Why do I think this? Because yesterday I was watching the nightly news and there was a reporter/anchor/whatever at the Texas/Mexico border who said that people coming into the US from Mexico weren't even being questioned. Huh? If this thing is a potential US pandemic as well and we're raising pandemic code levels and such then how come your average Mexican or American returning from Me-hee-co can stroll right across the border without some d-bag border patrol officer at least asking him/her if they've coughed, sneezed, sniffled, or puked like an under-aged party girl within the last 48 hours? It's not like a double-shot of Vicks NyQuil (no Lil Wayne) is going to cure you.

This leads me to wonder if this is all just a front to kill off the Mexican labor force here in the U.S. and provide all these jobless Americans with some meaningful work. Yes I know that the majority of people that are dying are in Mexico but who is to say that they weren't potentially headed here to "work". Think about it, if the *millions* of "hispanics" working labor-intensive jobs (and yes I know that there are plenty of "hispanics" that don't do labor-intensive jobs) somehow can't work, then that'll provide some meaningful work/income for all the Americans that got laid off but have been to prideful/lazy/elitist/arrogant to do all the work they think only Mexicans should do. It's similar to how some folks thought back in the day that this country should only have been built on the strength of the negro, the blood of the Native American, and the so-called intelligence of "everyone else". Not to mention that the first settlers in the U.S. were the lowest class of society where they came from. It's nothing like a bama coming from jail telling you to clean his boots, wash his underwear, toss his salad, and accept that you're intellectually inferior. But I digress.

Nevertheless (foreverthemore), providing U.S. citizens with jobs is one need that seemingly trumps saving Mexican lives. That is, aside from taking Somilian lives. And what better way to help strengthen the U.S. economy than to provide lazy Americans with jobs that they'll be horrific at?

With all that said, I will be faking the flu for about three weeks and getting a refillable prescription of Tamiflu. I encourage those of you that really need the Tamiflu to either get your own or if you want to be price-gouged holla at me for the Day2Day hook-up. If you found something in the least bit interesting/funny on this blog in the last couple months I might even slide you an extra half-pill just for massaging your boy's upper region (read: ego). Secret is out that for the next couple months, Tamiflu is the NEW CRACK! Scratch that. Tamiflu is the new Cialis. Scratch that too! Tamiflu is the NEW TWITTER! You don't really understand how you got there or why you need it, but you use it like it's going out of friggin' style.

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Magnificent

Magnificent was the second song I heard from Deeper Than Rap and I remember immediately thinking: "Ross got one right here!" Overall, this is probably the best song on the album when you take production, lyrics, and listenability (yep, I said it) into consideration. John Legend does what he normally does on the hook (i.e. - laces it) and Ross holds it down lyrically. This is one of my favorite tracks on the album.

Magnificent - Rick Ross (feat. John Legend)

She the one that I adore so I try to enter raw: Slow your roll, pimpin'! Rap It Up!

Ain't nothing free, I'm charging to breathe air: This is one of those out-of-nowhere lines that Ross has a tendency to drop where the line is so outlandish that you believe nobody would say it and actually mean it, except for??? Another example of this is: "I never phone ahead all she do is hear the pipes".

Ain't nothing on my back but the delicate(s) of fabrics: This line cracks me up every time I hear it. Me and my buddy Laf (aka Curly) laugh uncontrollably at this line and that crab meats line. This begs the question of whether or not these guys actually listen to what they say before releasing these tracks. Or maybe they just don't care and I'm too much of a nerd to let this particular usage slide. I think being high has a lot to do with lines like this and you know Ross is always talking about the smell of kush and lean on his breathe (like that's sexy or something). Aside from the obvious mis-step in usage of the term delicate, I think it's funny that big husky azz Ross is talking all big and bad but wants to be draped in the softest fabrics as if he's not going to sweat completely through that ish on the walk from his car to his front door.

It's time to rape the game, like Puffy did Total: WHAT?!?! Is this meant to be taken literally, figuratively? This is a very GAME-esque move right here. That is, out-of-the-blue dropping a random controversial line about another popular artist. And Total hasn't been relevant for eons now. What does The Bawse know that we don't? If you answered "absolutely nothing", I'd bet you're right.


Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2

Another Drake Post??? YUP!

I'm going to make you hate or love this guy!

New Drake courtesy MissInfo - Right to Left (feat. Tanya Morgan)

Rizoh Nahshon doesn't get the Drake hype but has a bigger question about Drake's current super-buzz.

Colin Munroe (feat. Drake) - Cannon Ball. If you don't have Colin's "Unsung Hero" Mixtape you might want to cop that soon. "I hope when dinner's cold my ni99as do not dessert me"

Wale doing a cover of Drake's "Best I Ever Had" at a concert stop in Toronto.

And if you know the Drake/Degrassi history, this is hilarious.

And a bonus MP3 of Priscilla Renea's cover of "Best I Ever Had". Remember her?

Wake and Drake: Priscilla Renea Covers Drake's Best I Ever Had

Drake + acoustic + Priscilla Renea = YES!!!!


I found this on Drake's blog.

Check out Priscilla on Twitter - http://twitter.com/priscillarenea
Check her out on MySpace - http://www.myspace.com/PriscillaRenea
Check her out on YouTube - http://www.youtube.com/user/PriscillaRenea

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Maybach Music 2

Maybach Music 2 was probably the song I anticipated the most on this album. The original was easily the best song on Trilla. While I don't think the second installment is as good as the first there are some jewels in here. In fact, more jewels than Ross-isms (shocker, I know).

Maybach Music 2 - Rick Ross (feat. Kanye West and Lil Wayne)

If B-I was alive he'd probably have the two tone: This is a Yeezy line but it sices me every time I hear it and I'm still not sure why. Maybe it's because it seems like everybody respects Biggie's swag so much that I like it when these guys pay homage in ways like this.

Kanye and Wayne's obsession with feces: "I am the sh-t and this is my commode"??? Even going back to "Swagger Like Us" where he says "how do it feel to be the sh*t and the urine?" That line really blew the crap out of me. Anyway, Wayne talks about sh*t quite often so if you haven't noticed it yet, maybe him "sitting in the azzhole" of his Maybach will help refresh your memory.

New crib, loftin'/Where is at? Austin/Where's that? Texas/What's in front? Benz's/What else? Lexus/Well whose Maybach is this?/Mr. West's!": That's dope!

I got so many horses b*tches call me Polo: A slick line from the Bawse. I'm wondering if this dude really does own horses though. Maybe he eats horseMEATS and crabMEATS.

I was barely getting pretty women: Hey Ross guess what? I BELIEVE YOU!

All black Maybach I'm sitting in the a$$ hole!: I have no idea why he felt like he needed to say that. What's the a$$hole of a Maybach? Why would I ever want to know? Tailpipe? Backseat? He should have ad-lib'd a "no homo" in the background on this one just for G.P. I guess this was just to catch everyone's attention at the beginning of his verse. Mission accomplished!

Fresher than Will Smith and Uncle Phil too! Slick! Fresh Prince...Rich uncle...Weezy is nice.

In my opinion, the proper line-up for this track would have been Yeezy, Ross, Wayne, and Jay-Z. It's kind of disappointing that Jay was on the first but not the second joint.

Previously:

Mafia Music

Video: Kanye West (feat. Young Jeezy) - Amazing

The way Hype shot this video is dope. Kanye always comes through with good videos though.


After watching the video on my computer I felt like I needed to go home, turn the lights off, and watch this on the TV with the surround sound pumpin'. It seems like the type of video that you could watch in a movie theater and it would be dope.