Rest In Peace Ant'

For what seems to be like the 100th time now, I have lost another friend (in this case, more than a friend) to violence in the neighborhood I grew up in.

Since about 1995 I have seen more than 5 people I grew up with die from the gun.

I have known at least 3 times that many people that died from the hands of a gun.

I have seen several of my friends survive gunshot wounds.

I have been shot at.

I have gone to way too many funerals for people my age.

Even after all that I have pondered whether or not I wanted to own a gun myself. For "protection". The truth of the matter is the only protection you need is the man up above. Nothing good comes from owning a gun. Even if you're protecting yourself you may have to take someone's life to save your own. Or you may provoke someone that just wanted to scare you with their gun/weapon to kill you.

NOTHING good comes from owning/having a gun. They are meant to hurt/harm people!

My cousin Antwain and spent a lot of time together when I was younger. We played football together at the local boys and girls club. We played basketball together there too. We went on vacations together and tried to holla at all the girls, LOL. I lost my daggon virginity (on vacation at that, LOL...Is that personal enough JAC?) because he hooked me up with a friend of a friend. Memories I'll never forget and all that I will have from this point on. It hurts!

I had lost touch in the past few years and now I get to learn how to live with the regrets of not having been able to tell him "ayight joe" or "peace" or "I'll holla at you later" before we got off the phone. I never got the chance to have that conversation I wanted to have with him about where his life was headed. I had to have those conversations on my knees last night. I know he heard me.

Rest in Peace Antwain Simpson.