Wednesday, March 28, 2007

From the FastBall to the ChangeUp

If you have followed this blog of mine from its genesis, you know that I started off in a whirlwind of blogposts. 3, 4, or sometimes 5 per day. From random thoughts to moments in my relationship to personal losses to outings with friends to assessments of one (or many) of the effed up aspects of the city I live in (Baltimore).

But recently, I've slowed down a bit. I hate to admit it (cuz I'm a WebNerd like that), but I was losing the urge to blog. There are several reasons but most of all, I've been starting to wonder how what I convey via this open forum we call a weblog, can be completely misinterpreted (or taken way too seriously) and hinder someone's view of who I am as a person. I mean, anybody can see read this blog. What if someone reads this blog and makes their judgement of who I am based solely off this blog? Would I be comfortable with that? Would I be embarassed or ashamed of some of the stuff I've wrote? My mom has the URL, I don't hear anything from her. But is she really a barometer for the rest of the civilized world? Of course I don't care what every person in the world thinks. But simultaneously, I don't want random people to think that this is all there is to me either. I'm not just hip-hop. I'm not just sports. I'm not just a Paula Patton fanatic. There's more to that guy in the red cap that what's read here.

On top of that, I've been wanting to challenge my ability to write so that I can be a better writer. This is something I don't think I can accomplish by continuing to post my "somewhat cohesive" rants covering a crapload of topics. My buddy L is one of the best writers I know and he tells me I write well. But I read his stuff and I am blown away by his ability. I doubt I'll ever have the ability he does, but I'd like to improve upon what I have right now.

Now though, I think I have the most compelling reason to: 1) stop bloggin altogher, 2) begin to change the focus of what I talk about, or 3) change how I talk about things (read: "less rage and expletives").

This reason is my new job. I rarely talk about my job on this blog becauuse people can get (and have gotten) fired over job-related comments on their blog. In addition, most of what goes on at my job is better conveyed over a drink (LOL). The stuff is just THAT funny. I actually enjoy my job very much so you'd think I would talk about it all the time even if it's indirectly. But nope! I can't do it!

I applied for this new position with my employer back at the end of November. I got invited to interview last month. The interview process consisted of interviewing with 5 different people here: 3 division heads, the person who will be my direct supervisor, and the director of my company (most people would call this person the CEO). I had no idea I'd have to interview with that many people but it let me know the magnitude of the position I'll be filling this Monday coming up. I'm blessed.

An increase in responsibilities, accountability, and time spent away from my desk will undoubtedly lead to less posts on this blog. But hopefully, the quantity will decrease while the quality increases tremendously. I'm thinking that a combination of changing what I post about and changing how I write will add to your experience reading this blog, but also add to my growth as a person.
That is my plan people (cuz you know I got one)! Let's see how this works out...

Monday, March 26, 2007

Interactive Bloggin: Picture of the Week

In an effort to make this boring ole' blog a little more fun and interactive, I am introducing something new that I think many of you will find less boring and a little more fun and interactive (I know, I know). With that said, I'm introducing my little interactive weekly bloggin' event, Picture of the Week. Hopefully you'll like it...

The Rules:

Each week I'm going to post a new picture here as the the picture of the week. BUT, I'm not going to choose the picture myself, I'm going to let you send me a picture (or a URL of a picture). If (and I totally DO NOT foresee this happening), I don't receive any pictures, I will find one myself to post. But otherwise, I will post a picture each week as my picture of the week. There's no real theme to the type of pictures so it can be anything. What I'll do when I get a picture from one of you that I decide to post is give it a caption. In the comments section for the post, you can give thoughts on what you think about my caption, what the caption would be if you wrote it, or any other random azz comment.

Please send the pictures to

Please DO NOT send anything obsessively grotesque or pornographic (use your best judgement dammit!).

Without any further adieu, I'd like to post my first Picture of the Week. This one is for the fellas I guess you could say. And no, it's not Paula Patton as that would have been wayyyy to easy. Instead, it's Ms. Amerie:

"I want you to turn the lights off, me on..."


Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Worked delayed...I got belayed

"Look at this fool up there tryna climb the d@mn wall! LMAO!"
On my lunch break today I went with a couple co-workers to the climbing wall at my gym. They go pretty often on their lunchbreaks and have encouraged me to attend for a while. So today I took them up on their offer and went with them to climb. To my surprise, it was actually a pretty fun experience. I've always looked at the people climbing the wall at the gym and wondered how difficult it was or if I could do it, but I never really had the urge to do it. But today for some reason, I was just thinking "Eff it!"

The only thing that really makes the experiences a little bad is being a novice at hooking up all the safety harnesses and the rope.

The harness that engulfs your "junk" wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I imagined it being very tight and constrictive, but it was not bad at all. And I bet it magnified my "junk" a little, which made me feel like Ben Stiller in Dodgeball with his crotch-pump. But once I got the harness on along with my rented climbing shoes and got roped in, I was pretty anxious to see how far up the wall I could get.

So my co-worker instructed me on the signals to use if I need to rest while climbing the wall and which color-coded pegs I needed to follow and I hop onto the wall like a cat climbing a tree. Okay, maybe not. But I hopped on that joint (LOL). I start climbing and I am making pretty good progress. Pretty soon I get stuck and realize that I am about a story or so off the ground. At this point I realized the key to this whole climbing thing is to NOT LOOK DOWN while you're headed up the wall. I got a little nervous but I kept it moving and eventually made it all the way to the top.

Little did I know that the worst part would be trying to repel back down the wall. Once at the top, I realized that I had to rely on my belayer (the person holding the other end of the rope) to support my weight while I repelled back down. So I was a little apprehensive about just letting go and having someone else support all 62 lbs (LOL) of my weight while I repelled a couple stories down. But after some communication with my belayer, I eventually let go and repelled down the wall safely. After that I waited a couple turns before I went back up a section of the wall that was a little more difficult and made it to the top on that one as well. You know I was SICED! I am still a little upset that I didn't get pictures though.

This all made for a pretty good lunchbreak. I think I am going to start incorporating a wall climb into my normal workout regiment. I typically run, lift, and hoop about 4-5 days a week so I guess I'll throw the wall in there once per week. I think I just got put onto something new and exciting and I might run with this one for a little while. Hopefully my workout partner Osei will be willing to try this. It's definitely a total body workout that will get you super-buff. Sort of like this guy:

"My bad, that's not a schlong, it's your labium! EEEWWWWWW"

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

"I'd do anything, anything, for yooooouuuuuu!"

"Oh, you one of them fake cultured type ni99as, huh!?!?"
Tonight, I am going to see Annie at the Hippodrome here in Baltimore. In recent years I've been developing an appreciation for theatre and the arts in general through events/shows like this and through my friends who are involved in these types of events (shot out to ChokolatSoda). A couple weeks ago, I went to ChokolatSoda's first dance performance and even though I had to step out early, I thought it was beautiful. Not only were the women beautiful and their dance moves fluid and graceful, but the message they were conveying through dance was an important one, crossing racial borders/boundaries, through dance. At least that's how I interpreted it. It was a beautiful display of grace coupled with a diversity among the dancers that helped convey the message. It was a great concept, a great show, and it helped me realize how the arts can help influence you in ways you never imagined.

As far as plays go, I haven't been to the Hippodrome for a play since I went to see the Lion King a couple of years ago and that was GREAT! I'm sure tonight will be great as well.

Word of the Day: Esoteric


An adjective, meaning "designed for or understood by the specially initiated alone" or "requiring or exhibiting knowledge that is restricted to a small group".

Use it in a sentence:

"Dude, you make some of the most random, esoteric jokes I have ever heard in my life!"

When you think about it, "inside jokes" that we all have among our friends could be considered esoteric in nature. I ran into this word while reading an article about a Project I work on (see article) at my job.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Congratulations SAGE STEELE!

"I'm giving it 1 month before Stuart Scott gets his Harold Reynolds on"
Ms. Sage Steele, who used to be a sportscaster for Comcast in the middle atlantic region just got UPGRADED to an ESPN Sportscenter anchor. That's what I call a "come-up". I used to watch Sage Steele do interviews with the Ravens players and Brian Billick on Comcast SportsNet and I am not going to lie, a big part of the reason I tuned in at all was to watch Sage (and it appears I'm not the only one who thinks so). Then I found out she was married and that kinda blew me. But she always seemed very well-spoken, knowledgeable, and she asked good questions. I haven't really watched anything on Comcast SportsNet recently other than Wizards games and the Best Damn Sports Show Period. So you know I was surprised to see Sage on ESPN this weekend, but it was definitely a pleasant surprise.

Aside from the looks, she's a VERY good sportscaster in my opinion. She's had a couple slip-ups in her first few days on ESPN, but she's recovered from them extremely well and managed to fit into the fray of ESPN Sportscenter personalities very well. And it appears I'm not the only person who thinks she's good at what she does:
"Kenny Mayne recently got an extension and will be back on SportsCenter soon. The newest anchor though is Sage Steele from Mid-Atlantic Comcast. She's most famous for getting into an on-air "verbal fight" with Ravens' Coach Brian Billick, but she's also very good at what she does.

Not to get all racial on you, but ESPN has finally made themselves look good after months of bad press. Hiring a female is one thing, but a black female is an especially good move for them from a PR standpoint. This isn't to take anything away from Sage though.....I like her (and you don't hear that from me that often)."
Taken from:

And this is not to act as if Danielle Sargeant - ESPN News anchor - never existed, but Sage's local so it means a little more.

I just wonder how long it's going to take Stuart Scott and his crazy lazy eye to get ahold of Sage off-set and give her the Harold Reynolds treatment.

NCAA Tournament Coverage: Sweet 16

"You know what, Gus Johnson might just be the best college basketball announcer out there."
Unfortunately, there aren't any real big surprises in the Sweet 16 with the lowest seed to make it being UNLV as a 7-seed. Not surprisingly, Maryland got ousted earlier than most thought (including me), but few are surprised about that. Butler and Southern Illinois may seem like surprises to some people becaues they're simply not household names like some of the other schools, but they're teams who have been in the tournament before and know how to play good ball. If they make it to the Final Four, that would be a surprise though.

My suprises/disappointements up to this point:
  • Texas getting knocked out. I wanted to see Kevin Durant get a shot at Flordia.

  • Kansas only beating Niagara by 40 and not 50? WTF? See my first NCAA post for background.

  • Wisconsin losing to UNLV. You just don't expect a 7-seed you haven't heard anything about all year to be a 2-seed.

  • Virginia Tech losing in the second round. I only watch VTech for one reason, Deron Washington (Imma start calling this dude "Hops")...

    Here's a smorgasbord...

  • Imma be real about this. I still can't believe USC lasted this long. But I guess I'm sleeping on them.
The tournament has been pretty good up to this point. I'm expecting the games to get even closer as we move on and I hope that my Final Four stays intact even though I'm pretty much mathematically eliminated from winning my pool (SUX).

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Random Miscellaneousness

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

NCAA Tournament Coverage: The "play-in" game and my Final Four picks

Really! What else happens in March? You've got the first day of spring, St. Patrick's Day, ... somebody wake me up for MARCH MADNESS!
Last night marked the first game of the 2007 NCAA Tournament. The play-in game between Niagara and Florida (the Gun-Shine State) A&M Univ was one that I reluctantly watched simply because nothing else was on at the time. Like they say, nobody really cares about the play-in game except people with emotional ties to the school. I happen to have none other than I think it'd be cool to see a Historically Black College or University (HBCU) make it to round one...Then get blown out by Kansas by 50 points. LOL.

But unfortunately, this didn't happen so I will have to hear about how Kansas blows out Niagara by 50 points, because you know nobody's watching that game, right? Well, except Kansas fans. Niagara fans are probably going to just hit a bar, get hammered, and pass out by the time the first quarter ends so they don't have to see the beating (read: "carnage").

What most of us consider the real beginning of the tourney begins tomorrow. Thank goodness! I know I'm not the only person tired of hearing about:
  1. How Syracuse and Drexel got snubbed (along with Florida State, West VA, and Kansas State)
  2. How Arkansas should not have made it in the tournament at all
  3. How Arizona and Texas are "dangerous" (even though I'm rooting for K. Durant because he's from Maryland)
  4. Everybody expects Winthrop to beat Notre Dame in Round 1
  5. How Memphis is a weak #2 seed
  6. Anything about Oral Roberts (yes I picked them to win in Rouund 1 too though)
  7. How Georgetown has an "easy" road to the Elite 8 (please! Though I have them in the Final Four)
  8. And last but not least, anything about Joakim Noah (stop it already! He's not even the best big man on his team, see Mr. Horford)
Let's just play the games!

All the prognostication is almost nauseating, which is why I made sure not to listen to any of that crap while making my picks for my obligatory office pool(s). With that said, here's who I have in the Final Four:

    They've lost a few games this year and I think that will strengthen their resolve (I sound like George Bush, arghhh). Besides, they're bringing back the same starting 5 that won last year and even though people think Arizona and Maryland might challenge them in that region, it's still inconsistent Arizona and Maryland (my squad, by the way) that we're talking about here.
  2. UCLA:

    I can only see Duke and Pitt being a problem for them until the Elite 8 where they'd most likely see Kansas. But Duke pretty much sucks this year in big games and Pitt doesn't seem strong enough to beat UCLA on the west coast where there'll be a ridiculous crowd advantage. This same advantage will be key in UCLA beating Kansas in the Elite 8
  3. Georgetown:

    I know, I'm a "homer" (see definition #4 here) rooting for MD and Georgetown, but I've like these for as long as I can remember. I'm not taking them because I think they have an easy walk to the Final Four, but because I don't think anyone in that bracket can handle their defense or guard Jeff Green. They'll be challenged by Norf-Click (UNC) in the Elite 8, but unless Hansborough takes that mask off or gets used to it by then, they're losing to John Thompson and the boys
  4. Ohio State:

    I didn't really want to make this pick, but look at the bracket! Who's got a shot at beating them (seriously) except Texas A&M? And if Acie Law IV is off, they don't have a snowball's chance in hell. Mr. Wrinkle-Face (Greg Oden) is not going to have a problem rebounding, dunking, and blocking shots against the likes of Central Connecticut Community College State, Xavier, or Ca$hville Tennessee.
Of these four teams, I have Florida beating UCLA and Georgetown beating Ohio State. And I have Florida beating Georgetown in the championship (guess I'm not THAT MUCH of a homer, huh). We'll see how things play out.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready for some MARCH MADNESS!!!!!

Monday, March 12, 2007

My mantra for 2007

"Somebody send this post to Adam 'PacMan' Jones."
A week or so ago I was talking with a friend candidly about some of the kids she talks to as a part of her job. In reference to doing something crazy or knowingly making a bad decision I made the candidly jovial statement:
"I got too much to lose!"
She seemed to find the statement refreshing and profound in its simplicity. It's really just what was on my mind at that particular moment in time. It's a simple and obvious statement to make for someone who values his/herself, but oftentimes, it's the simple and obvious that we forget to pay attention to and keep in our minds.

We forget to say "I love you" to those that mean the most to us. We forget to call that friend that we haven't spoken to in a while. We forget to say "Thank You". But these are the simple and obvious things in life that can make your life more meaningful and joy-filled. My purpose in saying something as simple and obvious as "I got too much to lose" is to say that I value where I've come from, where I am, and where I am headed. I have a past, a present, and a future as long as God grants me the time. I understand what I have now and I don't want to lose it, especially not the good. And I also want time to improve upon the bad. I have a plan for my future that I look forward to carrying out and I don't want to lose the opportunity to see it through.

So by having too much to lose, I have something to live for. I have a reason to make good decisions, to treat people the right way, to work hard, to enjoy life.

Our entire conversation (from what I recall) was in the in context of youth (specifically urban youth) making bad decisions or mistakes at a young age and not being able to rebound, thus crippling their potential before they've even had a chance to learn and grow.

Some youth don't feel as if they have anything to lose, so they shouldn't care (about anything). They don't place a value on themselves and what they have already achieved in their short lives, be it large or small. And many are not in environments where they're given any signs of hope for the future. But if we could instill in these kids that they have something to strive for and not just something to lose, but a lot to lose, how might that affect their view of life? I'm not sure, but I think it would make at least a little bit of a difference.

Just some thoughts I've been having over the past few days. But that is definitely my mantra for 2007. Thought I'd share.

Friday, March 9, 2007

Little Brother Rocks! Lupe needs some baggy fit jeans! The Roots started off strong but...

"I paid $38.50, YOU SCREAM!"
SUMMARY: The show was cool.

You know Dane and I really went to see Little Brother and they only did like 4 songs and we got there about halfway through the first song. So we were rockin' IMMEDIATELY when we stepped into the opera house. They had Darien Brockington with them as their hypeman, but it would have been so much better if they had Chaundon and Joe Scudda also. Needless to say though, Little brother ROCKED!

Why Phonte thinks he can actually sing is beyond me, but he's hilarious when he goes into that mode where he's really trying to belt out some soprano type -ish. Every song they did though, Dane and I were rocking to. Little Brother gets a 5 out of 5 from me for their performance.

Lupe Fiasco was average at best. He had on one of the most Prince-esque outfits I've ever seen in terms of how tight his jeans and hoodie were. And on top of that he had like a red belt on (his jeans were dark-colored and his hoodie was black) so it kind of looked like he was rocking a thin-azz cumber-bun. From Lupe, I really only wanted to hear "He Say/She Say" and "Kick/Push" so after he did those two songs, I was ready to move on to the Roots.

Random notes about Lupe's performance:

1) Funny how Lupe and his hypeman kept bumping into each other. I couldn't help but think how much effort guys like Diddy and Busta and Jay-Z put into their live shows. These young cats have a LOT to learn.

2) Every time he started a song he'd jerk his arm in a very violent way (no Johnny Gill) that really kind of looked weird. I guess that's his "thing" or whatever, but it seemed so extra to Dane and I. I don't know if he was just THAT into his performance or what, but I thought he was going to hurt himself a couple times.

The Roots came out strong. They started off OUTSIDE the opera house performance area. They came in from the lobby with Questlove? banging his cowbell, a full brass ensemble, and Black Thought. They all walked in a single line through the lobby, through the crowd, and onto the stage. Now THAT'S a way to make an entrance!

Everybody was up on their feet and we were all bobbing back-and-forth. They held it down for about two songs and then....just like the last time I saw the Roots back in 2002, they eventually allowed me to bore and feel like it was time for me to go home. I love the instrumentation and I love the fact that they're a live band,
but at a HIP-HOP concert I'm not trying to hear a remake of a Bob Dylan song about the war. I'm trying to party! I can listen to that song on the album or as part of a bonus disc, seriously! Not to mention Black Thought thought (no pun intended) he was James Brown for about 5 songs last night. It was cool for one song, but more than that is just disrespecting the legend. I was itching for him to just start spitting some random fresstyle a capella though. He's one of the nicest lyricists (and most slept on) in hip-hop. It would have been nice to hear him spit some tight bars for a couple minutes.

The best part of the Roots performance (for me) was when they did the instrumentals to other people's songs (showing great versatility) and when they did their old joints like "Do You Want More", "Proceed", and "Star" (this one's not so old).

Overall, Dane, Osei (who bought a ticket at the door and beat us to the concert), and I had a good time. I am not mad about spending my $30 to go to this show. But next time, I'd prefer that it's just a Little Brother show, I ain't even gon' front.

Random notes from last night:

1. A show with "conscious" rap acts definitely brings out nice ladies. Not that a "Pimp Trick Gangsta Click" concert doesn't bring out the fine, well-educated, and classy ladies, but you know what I mean.

2. Dane (in reference to Lupe's hypeman): "Bone, is that nikka doing the running man?" LMAO!

3. The two girls in front of me (one white and one asian) only had two dance moves in their repetoire: the "shake from side-to-side" and the "wiggle-while-pulling-your-hair".

4. I think Dane wanted some weed last night (don't tell him I said it though) because he asked me towards the end of the night if I smelled weed. But on the way out, it did smell like something was burning.

5. I cannot dance, whatsoever. Even the girls from #3 had more moves than me (LOL).

6. My cell phone camera will not cut it! I need to go ahead and drop that $200 on the Cybershot joint I want.
Dane also has a post about the concert that's pretty daggon funny

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Little Brother, The Roots, and Lupe

Tomorrow night, Dane and I are going to see Little Brother, The Roots, and Lupe "Touche" Fiasco. The Roots are (of course) the headliner, but I'm really going because Little Brother's going to be there. What that (probably) means is that we'll have to get there extra early and be twp of 50 people in the place rockin out to about 5 Little Brother songs that only we know the words to or care about. Then again, the people who like the Roots and Lupe should know about Little Brother and presumably enjoy their music as well. We'll see though.

Dane is the person that put me on to Little Brother back in June of last year, so it's pretty cool that we are going to this concert together (no Johnny Gill). I'm expecting this concert to be lots of fun. I'll try to post some pictures but I can't make any promises considering we'll be sitting in the balcony section and I only have my camera phone right now.

Next up...COMMON. He'll be here in mid-April.

Monday, March 5, 2007

Lithuanian Basketball players can't jump...

This guy must have thought that because he had on the #23 he would automatically have an extra 6 inches on his leaping ability. Didn't quite work out that way though. I couldn't help but laugh my azz off at this. It's funny on so many levels because the girl appears to be extremely short, this guy has on Jordan's number which makes it ironically funny, and for the most part he didn't even come remotely close to clearing this girl.

BUT...Chivalry is still alive when you consider that he helped her up.

He actually knees her while he's coming down and I couldn't help but crack up even more when the one judge seemingly can't find a low enough score to give him.

Gettin' rich off this music shyt...Indirectly

"I wish it wasn't too late to sensibly purchase Google stock"
I don't know why it took me so long (or why it took this video to give me the thought), but the video below made me realize that YouTube is changing the way we are exposed to new music. It's also changing the video "game" (no pun intended) in general. Instead of seeing a new video on 106 & South Park, I see a link to the video on YouTube via someone's blog. Instead of hearing that new diss record from Fiddy Cent on the radio or on a mixtape, I get a YouTube link to the video for the diss record.

YouTube is becoming a cheap way to market yourself musically. You don't need high-quality cameras, you just have to have A CAMERA and an internet connection and you can reach millions. No need for your record company to dish out those payola checks to BET and MTV to get video spins, just YouTube it "on the cheap" and get some bloggers to start posting about it in their blogs or linking directly to the video. That's cheap promotion.

The mixtape/underground scene used to be where some artists would test out new tracks to see the buzz they got in the streets. Now you almost have to combine your buzz in the streets with a buzz on the net. You reach the street corner, around-the-way folks, but you also gotta hit the techies, the new school hip-hoppers who embrace the internet and it's power. And I won't even get into how the mixtape scene has transformed in the last few years. Considering that we went from tapes to CDs and from a couple DJs putting out quality work to a littany of mediocre-to-average DJs putting out gah-bage...[saving for another post]

Seeing YouTube and the music marketing come together is like watching Justin Blaze put together a beat on JustBlazeTV, which is also available to us because of the power of YouTube. And because Google owns YouTube, you can expect Google's stock to rise (literally, not figuratively) even more as this whole insurgence of hip-hop marketing turns into a cross between DJ Clue and your-favorite-internet-celebrity.

With Google's stock currently hovering around $450, I'm thinking it's not a really good idea to buy because you'll have to buy a crapload of shares to make any significant future profit. And that's if the stock doesn't plummet sometime in the next year or so. But at $450/share, you'd have to buy about 100 shares just to make a $1000 profit if the stock goes up to $460 tomorrow and you decide to sell tomorrow. But, considering that you have to spend $45000 just to make $1000 dollars, does that seem like it's worth it to you? I know most of us could cash in our tennis shoe collections (men) or purse collection (women) for about $40K, but those are priceless, right? Not to mention the $1000 we'd make off getting rid of our shoes would only get us 5 pair of those new Jordans (men) that they'll re-release in 2010 for $300 each. And that $1000 will only get 1/7 of that Hermes Birkin bag (women)..."What type of purse is THAT"

Whereas, if you'd bought 10 shares of Google Stock 2 years ago when the stock was at $200, that would have been a $2000 investment that's now worth $4500. That is, if you decided to sell today. I added this bit of financial information in there just to make my title relevant to the post (LOL) as I assume that a lot of you will either already know this or completely ignore it and skip to...

Monday Morning MUTE

Don't you wish that sometimes you could just press the MUTE button in real life?
There's this woodpecker (or perhaps a group of woodpeckers) that sits in a tree right outside my bedroom window that pecks from about 7am till...Well, I actually don't know how long because I leave for work. For all I know it could be an all day thing, which probably sucks for all the retired folks who live on my street.

This morning, the woodpecker annoyed me moreso than it ever has before. I usually hear it when I get up and it doesn't bother me (read: "keep me from going back to sleep and ensuring I get to work late"). But this morning it really ticked me off. As soon as I got up and got dressed I starting thinking about getting some binoculars so I could find it's exact spot of perch and borrow my brother's pellet gun and take some shots at this fricking bird! Of course, I am not going to do it, just joke about it and rage about it on my blog, but I definitely had the thought.

All I could think of on my way into work this morning was old Woody Woodpecker cartoons where Woody would peck a tree so much that it'd snap and then fall over and break something. Hopefully that huge maple tree in my front yard hasn't crushed my roof by the time I get home.

Thoughts of that birds laugh now make me cringe because they remind me of the sadistic and satanic bird that woke me up this morning!


Sunday, March 4, 2007

Happy Birthday Dylan!!!

That's the cake from my godson's first birthday party. Here's the birthday boy...

Friday, March 2, 2007

My new LEAST favorite phrases

(UPDATE: Here's a remotely tolerable use of "make it rain" that still provides a good example of what I am trying to convey...)
I guess you could define this as raging...
"Make it rain":

This is now officially a verb in the mind of mainstream America. It means to throw ridiculous amounts of money around for absolutely no reason. It doesn't HAVE to be in a strip club. It can be in a normal club. It doesn't have to be in a normal club. It can be in a hip-hop video. It doesn't have to be in a hip-hop video, it can be at your son's birthday party? What's next, bar mitzvah's?

I've always had a problem with slang that originates as a part of hip-hop culture and are then used relentlessly by those who more likely than not have no true knowledge of or real respect for the history of the culture. Only it's current money-driven state which I don't believe is a true reflection of hip-hop by any means.

The song "Make It Rain" is pretty lame. The act of "making it rain" (no R Kelly) is pretty lame. Thank you Fat Joe for this contribution to the laundry-list of hip-hop slang gone wrong! It's even been expanded upon by artists like Young Jeezy:

"Thunderstorm at the Body Tap [strip club], look what I done!"

Obviously, it can't just rain anymore, it has to be something torrential. What's next, Typhoon at the French Tickler? How do you manage to be creatively uncreative?

This phrase has officially replaced "bling-bling" as the most disappointingly wack thing you will hear at least once during an ESPN Sportscenter episode. Speaking of, if I hear one more corny joke about PacMan Jones making it rain in Vegas over NBA Allstar weekend, I think I might spontaneously combust!

"Let it rain, clear it out..."

Yes, please clear it out...

"Some kinda way":

I am now catching on that this is the new phrase people use when they want be ambiguous about how they feel or when they think that the other person alreaady knows how they actually feel. Or my personal favorite, what people say when they want to NOT state how they really feel because they think it's cool that everybody says "some kinda way". This one actually gets on my nerves a lot more than "make it rain" because I can't stand it when people try to find ways to be obtuse or ambiguous on purpose. If you feel a certain way, then say how you feel. If you don't know how you feel, say that!

Whenever I hear this phrase I think of Vivian Green's song, "What is Love?" (A Love Story) or Dwele's album, "Some Kinda". Vivian's song however, has so much more meaning and context than when people typically throw this phrase out in conversation. Sometimes we have to flip the slang switch to off in order to effectively communicate. The native language of this country is ENGLISH, people. Learn to use it effectively!

The Posquat

"Dude, who thinks of shyt like this?"

WARNING: This is gross, but I'll share it anyway.
My co-worker started a running joke about this theoretical animal, the posquat (pronounced, "pawskwat"). This came about after a discussion we had a few years ago about the Turducken (turkey/duck/chicken) that John Madden has referred to on numerous Thanksgivings during the football telecasts.

RELEVANCE: A couple weeks ago, my co-workers and I had this discussion about an alternative to the Turducken that was cheaper to put together and the posquat concept was born.

The posquat is basically a road-kill sandwich as described by a co-worker of mine. I'm sure you're probably wondering "where is this fool going with this", so let me get right to the point.

The POSQUAT just so happens to be:

A possum:

Stuffed with a squirrel:

that is stuffed with a rat:

I know, I know. This is probably COMPLETELY GROSS to most of you! But naturally it's kind of HILARIOUS to me. Only because it's a fictitious thing (for those of us who don't reside in West Virginia).

The idea behind this conglomerate of road-killed animals is that all of these animals can be conveniently gathered while doing your normal day-to-day driving activities. Once gathered, you can stuff the rat inside the squirrel and subsequently, the squirrel inside the possum. And BOOM (like Madden says it), you have the posquat! Fortunately, I don't have a picture.

How nasty is that? Why I decided to share this and risk my e-friends thinking that I am some sort of loon, I don't really know. I guess my disclaimer is that it was not my idea/concept and I do agree it's gross. But at the same time it makes me laugh to no end when I hear the word used around the office by my co-workers. Ha!

Go ahead, stop reading my blog, forever...I don't blame you!