Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Baltimore Blocks: Clarence M Mitchell Jr Courthouse

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Real Talk: Finding Your Parents After 30 years


This is one of the realest posts I'll ever drop.

I have a very good friend that I have known since the 4th grade and we've been cool for almost 20 years now. He's been living in different places since our senior yeas in high school and he even lived with me for a couple years at one point, and throughout it all, we've remained good friends. When we were about 16 one of our other friends told me that this friend was adopted. I was kinda shocked at that time because I always thought his parents were his biological parents. Aside from that he and his brother (who I also found out was adopted but from a different family) looked like they were definitely blood brothers. Nevertheless, I had a subsequent conversation with my adopted friend and he explained everything to me. Turns out everyone in his household was adopted. His adopted parents had 5 adopted children in all. I believe it takes special people to adopt one child, let alone 5 and truly care for them and try to raise them well. His parents did a great job!

My boy is now working across the country and I only see him and/or talk to him once every couple weeks, if that. But about 2 months ago he told me that by complete happenstance (or perhaps divine intervention) he found out who his biological parents were. I can't imagine how that feels. I've had my mother since birth, my stepfather since 6, my biological father here-and-there till about age 16 when he and I really developed a real relationship, and I can't imagine NOT knowing who they were and living in a world where I had the question in the back of my mind daily of who my real parents were. I'm blessed. And even after 30 years of life, for you find out who your REAL parents are has to be considered a blessing as well! Not to mention a crazy feeling.

Needless to say, my boy was immediately curios, scared, and nervous about finding out where his parents were living and possibly contacting them. And ultimately there was something in him that caused him to HAVE TO know who they were and reach out to them.

So after being adopted on the day he was born, he finally reached out to his birth mother and spoke with her. He and I had a conversation prior to that phone call and I knew he was going into it with a very nervous mind but an open heart. Fortunately, everything went well and his mother apologized for putting him up for adoption. Turns out she was 16 at the time she gave birth to him and confused and did not know what to do. She told him there wasn't a day that went by where she didn't think about him and that she is proud and happy that he has turned into a respectable man with a daughter of his own. And more importantly, she would like to keep in touch with him and be a part of his life. Inside I might have shed a tear when he told me that I was so happy for him.

I knew deep down he had to have all types of questions he wanted answered for himself and he deserved to have them answered. Finally he can rest knowing the "what happened" and "why it happened" about his adoption and his parents. He has yet to reach out to his father and told me frankly that he may not. But I'm sure that there'll be more curiosity about his father to come and that internal desire to have a few of his most personal questions answered.

I'm really happy for him and I'm glad God made things happen the way they did.

This post reminds me of the best song Nick Cannon has ever and will ever make...

Friday, May 22, 2009

Video: Cigar Music - Rick Ross (feat. Masspike Miles)



One of my favorite joints off of Deeper Than Rap even though it was listed as a Bonus track. Seems like Ro$$ is getting his vacation-video-making on because he's shot a video in Columbia and now one in the Caribbean for tracks off this album. Not a bad gig. Then again, he's probably gotta pay for all the no-talent goons that travel with him so I bet it's expensive. Speaking of goons, I laugh every time I see that Gunplay guy in the background of these clips.

Is it just me or do both Officer Ricky AND Masspike Miles need to start hitting the gym? Masspike Miles looks like Eddie House with a fitted and Ross looks like a land-locked whale at one point in this video with his shirt off and the tattoos blending in with his complexion (wtf). And Masspike seems like he's trying too hard to make it look like he's singing something super soulful. The lyrics ain't that deep homie. You sound like the dude singin' on Plies "Ms. Pretty P---y". Not to mention his voice (before I saw the video) made me think he was as skinny as me and he's a bit on the corpulent side. Anywho, tighten up those tig ole bitties fellas and the videos would be a lot more bearable for the ladies. Then again, ladies do you even care?

Nevertheless, I really do enjoy this song and I am glad he made a video for it. We'll see how long Ross's buzz lasts though.

Dumb Rappers Need Teaching, Charles Hamilton Edition

From my Twitter Feed: "This is what happens when cornball dudes start feeling themselves too much too early --> http://tinyurl.com/rct677

More specifically...


Charles is a young dude so I give him a bit of an excuse in that he is obviously too young in the game (dating and/or rap) to understand that when you ain't no muscle-bound dude or dude with a street rep, you can only go but so far when it comes to trying to put a chick on blast before she does something to let you know you ain't built like that. And by no means is Charles Hamilton built in the streets or in the industry to the point where he can think that any chick (no matter what his relationship with her) would put up with this bamafied mess.

Charles Hamilton not only FAILS in attire (what does this fool have on) but also fails in knowledge of the GAME. Idiot! He deserved that punch for trying to act like he was that ninja when I'm sure deep down he knows he couldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight and that's probably the flyest chick he's dealt with since started rapping. Not to mention it's allegedly his assistant and if you're not mature, you don't need to be mixing business with pleasure.

I've said it before, BEING HUMBLE > GETTING HUMBLED.

Monday, May 18, 2009

"I'm in my own world trick, we on different Earthis"


DRO!
When I first heard this song on the Black Boy White Boy mixtape I had to rewind the track to see if Dro actually said "earthis", lol. And of course, he did. I mess with Drizzle!

My First Full Album Purchase off iTunes


I'm going to admit that my first full album purchase (ie - not a single song) was Rick Ross's "Deeper Than Rap" album. And I got the deluxe version, lol.

It was about 6 months ago that I really started thinking about just how sweet it would be to have all of my music on my computer (well actually on an external drive connected to my computer) and the ultimate possibility of having an iPod with every song I have ever purchased or downloaded in my pocket whenever I feel like it. I've got about 90Gbs of music on my external drive and that could fit onto a classic iPod pretty easily. And the prospect of that makes me smile much more than it makes me nervous.

Some people I've spoken to seem to think that it's dangerous to have all your music in "one place". But what they're missing is that all the music isn't necessarily in a single location (in this case, the iPod). It's more of a distributed model with the iPod being one single device through which you can access the music. And with that said I'll give my plan for my musical archive...

The first thing I did was take all the CDs that I own and ripped them to my computer. That took me about a month to do (I had a crapload of CDs) on a when-I-had-the-time basis. From there I realized I was eventually going to run out of space on my hard drive (and relatively soon at that) so I invested some money in a portable 200Gb external hard drive. In hindsight this probably wasn't that smart of a move as I could have gotten a media server and not have to have the worry of carrying the external drive with me everywhere I take my labtop. Or I could have searched for a router with a USB port and turned the external hard drive into a psuedo-network attached drive (essentially achieving what a media server would but it's more of a hack than a proper media server implementation). The router I have doesn't have a USB port but it probably wouldn't be too difficult to find one with a USB port.

So next I'm going to buy a 1Tb media server (ie - 1000 or 1012 Gbs, depending on how nerdy you want to be), connect that to my network at home, and make my music library accessible from anywhere on the planet that I have my labtop. This will allow me to have access to my music at work, at home, or anywhere else with an internet connection. Not to mention I'll still have the option of saving everything on my iPod and I can take that instead of my labtop whenever it's more convenient to just have an iPod. The only issue that this "plan" presents is that it's subject to the speed of my internet connection and ultimately the reliability of my internet service provider. And that might just might turn out to be the downfall of this plan. But until then I've got hopes that I'll have a music archive set up that is optimized for my lifestyle and for accessibility.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Vote for my Homegirl Christina K. on MTV-U!!!

Here's the video for her song "Tonight" (featuring Modjo)....


Please visit MTV U to vote!!!

Note the DC/PG accent when she says: "See you on fourteenth or fifteenth" at about 20 seconds in.

Sidebar #1: I wrote a while back about NaS's song "Black President" jacking her beat.

Sidebar #2: Christina and I went to elementary school together, she found me on facebook last year and we've been in contact here-and-there since. I was actually sort of invited to the video shoot for what I think turned out to be the video above (she said: "come down for the video shoot, we're going to be all over the city") and missed it because I was a doof while in NY that day. Spontenaiety FAIL!

Nick Cannon is going to eff Eminem's life up for fun


Riiiiiiight. Just like 50 Cent did to Rick Ro$$.

From Nick's Blog (which appears to have been taken down from the actual website www.nickcannon.com/blog.html):

****************

Well, well, well. Fresh off the plane with my wife from our second honeymoon on the beautiful secluded islands of the Maldives and what do I find in my email box? A mediocre (at best) Eminem record that sounds like it was written in 2001. At first I thought it was old material that had been dug up from when dude “fantasized” about having a pretend fling with Mariah. I was thinking to myself, “Hey that was before me so it is really none of my business, so I’m going to give him a pass.”

So as I continued to semi enjoy Marshall’s rhyme scheme and flow, I mean let’s be honest dude used to be incredible. He was a witty lyrist with dope delivery and timing. Some even say, one of the best to ever do it. I had nothing but respect for this dude. But all of a sudden I hear my name in the verse! My first reaction was like, “This is his new shit??? Wow, that’s too bad…” Then I felt sorry for him because he must really be stuck in the past. Not only has his music not evolved, but also homeboy is still obsessed with my wife, the same female that wouldn’t let him get to second base from 8 years ago! He even describes his desperate lameness in this bad excuse for storytelling track. That’s some real middle school shit right there! (What type of grown ass man lies about getting with a chick) Only Slim Lamey! LOL!

So as I further examine the track, I hear dude cross the line. He begins to call my wife out of her name! Now as y’all know, I don’t take that type of nonsense lightly. So on some grown man shit I’m instantly like, I got to get at this Lame. I know it’s only entertainment and I’m all for freedom of speech. But I’m from the school of thought where if you are tough enough to talk shit, you got to be tough enough to deal with the consequences that come with tough guy shit talking! Then the little angel on my shoulder said, “No Nicholas, there is no need to play into his negativity. He is just a troubled soul yearning for the lost spotlight. You must be Christ like and turn the other cheek”

But then the dude on the other shoulder said, “ What Nigga?! Is you scared?! You can’t let no man ever disrespect your wife! Especially not some Peroxide drenched homophobic has-been! This is like some Paquiao vs. Hatton shit! He is underestimating you with his ass out and you can drop him in the first round!”

Then, without listening to either one of the voices on my shoulders, I analyzed the situation from a logical perspective. Am I going to battle Eminem and try to out rap him? No, that would be stupid. The dude is nice on the mic. Even though nowadays he lacks substance, rapping about when he used to be hot. Like when Al Bundy gloats about his High school football prime.

Then I asked myself should I go find this Bitch and just whoop his little ass? But that might have just been the Creatine and protein shakes talking! LOL. Even though most people don’t know that I’m nice in the ring and have been training in boxing and Martial Arts for years that would just be childish and silly of me to bully this dude. He clearly has been picked on all his life and I would hate to add to his deep-rooted pain. As we all know he has had a hard life and has major insecurity issues and is very confused and unhappy with himself. So a guy like that doesn’t really need another ass whoopin, he needs a hug. We should really pray for his troubled heart.

So just when the good guy in me is about to emerge and shine through, something hits me… Something bigger than rap beefs, something bigger than jealousy infused insults, something bigger than lackluster attention seeking punchlines, something bigger than artistic expression. I realized, that this so-called man has just disrespected and slanderized one of the world’s most significantly influential artists, one of the most notable BLACK females of our time, the incredibly cherished, globally loved and world-embraced woman of color, Mariah Carey!

Some people may not realize or tend to forget that my wife is a Black woman. And she has had enough difficulty in her life dealing with racial and ethnicity issues. Believe it or not, Mariah is the same racial mixture as our beloved president Barack Obama. [Black Father + White Mother= BLACK]

Maybe I’m going too far, but I thought we got passed the days where white men could spew vulgar obscenities at our beautiful queens and get away with it. What’s next? Are we going to let this trash say something horrible about our lovely first lady, Mrs. Michelle Obama? Or would Marshall have talked sideways out of his neck like this about Oprah Winfrey? This act of racist bigotry cannot go unnoticed. Calling my wife a “cunt” and a “whore” is way worse than anything Don Imus could have ever said. So trust, repercussions will be served. Anybody got Al Sharpton’s number?! LOL

Let’s not forget about Eminem’s amateur mixtape rants of calling African Americans Nigger and how he hates “Black Bitches”. How did we let him get away with that in the first place?! He is a natural born racist in disguise. Someone tell this coward that he finally barked up the wrong tree. For his entire career he strategically only tried to beef with people he could bully. I mean, what real man picks fights with women? Real MC’s battle other real MC’s. Ask Nas, ask Jay Z, you didn’t see them starting beefs with women! That is truly some punk shit!

So I’m putting this out there now. Marshall Mathers, you need to holler at me on some grown man shit. Man to man, let’s meet up and deal with this like adults. This is my invitation to you, whenever and wherever you like sir. So when you come out of your introverted hiding place and ask your bodyguards if you can go out and play by yourself, I’m here Pimp!

Your blatant disrespect not just to Black women but ALL women in general must stop. You are a despicable excuse for a man. I can’t even see how you can call yourself a father! Imagine if someone said half the stuff you say about women to your daughter, Hayley. (And I’m pretty sure they will because you got it coming Marshall.) That’s how Karma works.

You sold your little records and made a little bit of change but now you are stepping in the wrong territory. You may have been able to rape and pillage our artform like an old school Caucasian con man and nobody said anything because we respected your talent, but now you’ve made the ultimate mistake. Don’t you know that the black woman is the foundation and the strongest force in our culture? Take notes homey, Elvis would have never disrespected Aretha Franklin or Diana Ross. You were supposed to just do your little song and dance, make your little racist money and call it a day. But no, you had to dishonor the black man’s most precious counterpart.

I’m taking full action on you Eminem. I don’t know why no one has stood up to your bitch ass yet. But I guess it’s going to take a corny, wack rapping, boy toy from Nickelodeon to set you straight. And trust, I am going to be relentless. Even though I got a lot of other obligations and occupations, you are my new full time job “homey”! As a matter of fact I think you going to bring my wack rhymes out of retirement! That’s right haters; you can thank Eminem because I’m going to start rapping again! LOL Just for him! And don’t forget about the jokes! We coming at you hard body!! Non-stop on your Manic-depressive-Insecure-Maclovin-Nazi- Liza Minelli haircut havin-lookin ass!! [Pause] That’s what I do all day Bitch!

So Miss Marshall, I’m going to make you wish you never spoke my name and regret the ungodly things you said about my wife. This is going to be fun! It’s however you want it! Just remember, you did this to yourself! Your legacy has now been tainted from this day forth! You will now be known as the rapper who lost to Corny-ass Nick Cannon!!!

****************

My thoughts...

- Nick Cannon is a clown for even taking the time to write up all this stuff. I respect this dude's hustle in the entertainment biz but this is just corny. He could have at least done a youtube video, lol.

- Marshall is going to tear Nick a new one, lyrically.

- Since when has Mariah Carey embraced her bi-racial roots (not even her Black side) to the point where the Black community should feel outraged about her being disrespected.

- Doesn't everybody know that Eminem does this stuff for fun/entertainment and if he was really going in on Nick/Mariah then he would have went wayyyyy harder?

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Examining Rick Ross-isms: In Cold Blood


The beat on this track is about as sinister as Ross wants us to believe his C.O. past was. Officer Ricky does a good job of holding his own on this track though. I'm not sure whether or not I think having another 50 Cent foe (Bang Em Smurf) on the track talking as opposed to rapping was a good idea. Bang Em is pretty much irrelevant nowadays but it would have made more sense to me if Ross gave him a verse on this joint rather than just have him talking ish at the end. But some guys are arguably better at talking ish on a track than rapping.

In Cold Blood - Rick Ross

Midst of the war, I pi$$ on graves. Kids get grazed by my pi$$ poor ways: I thought it was kind of interesting that he mentions how he has (or can have) an influence on kids by the way he acts. Not sure if he threw that in there just because it rhymes (he's got a tendency to do that) or because he really has thoughts about that. I guess it was the former since he doesn't really expound on it.

Beat the case like Orenthal: LOL. OJ jokes never really get old.

Once the b*tch need an oil change, I go and buy a new one/Cuz I'm spoiled mayne: LOL. This guy never stops saying outlandish stuff.

Overall this album flows pretty well from beginning to end. Minus about 2 tracks that I would call just average I think Ross has a solid album. You might not like the content but the music is pretty good. He has always seemed to have an ear for decent production but his lyrics haven't always been up to par (a la Young Jeezy). But on this album Ross steps his game up enough lyrically to hold his own over some very good production. This is one of my favorite albums so far this year.

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects
· All I Really Want
· Rich Off Cocaine
· Lay Back
· Murda Mami
· Gun Play
· Bossy Lady
· Face
· Valley of Death

Friday, May 8, 2009

Examining Rick Ross: Valley of Death


I was undecided as to whether Valley of Death or Mafia Music was my favorite song on the album but I am now convinced that Valley of Death is it. I liked this song from the first time I heard it and this is the only song on this album that I will repeat 10 times over. The reason I like this song and Mafia Music so much is because they're both probably the realest joints Ross has ever written. For all the coke talk and misogyny on this album there's at least two songs that come off as completely genuine and authentic and Mafia Music and Valley of Death have to be on that list.

Valley of Death - Rick Ross

Faith of a mustard seed destined for a triumph/David or Goliath, hate me or admire: David = Ross, Goliath = 50. Faith of a mustard seed. Destined for triumph. Stepped it up a bit here lyrically.

Will I get to heaven turn to Psalm 27: Psalm 27.

New York unified, down south love that/When we got to shine mf-ers where the love at: Real talk.

Very first line he called Trick Daddy stupid, saying he got AIDS telling people that it's Lupus: Dude didn't even have to go here. Lupus isn't a joking matter. AIDS isn't either. But at the same time I recall Trick taking some shots at Ross when the correctional officer story broke so I guess all's fair...

Young ni99a 15, with 3 seeds/From that very day I carried on them 3 C's...Better get smart young brother live yours/Only live once and I got 2 kids/And for me to feed them I'll get 2 gigs/I'll shovel shyt, I'll C.O./So we can bow our head and pray over the meatloaf/I'm lookin' at the big picture/: That siced me. Ross both admits to and addresses the C.O. situation in about 3 bars. He could have just done this in the beginning and I think a lot of people would have more respect for him now than they do. It's nothing wrong with being a C.O. (ie - having a job). And Ross still maintains after admitting he worked as a C.O. that the "truth is much more sinister". Whatever Ross! Just keep dropping solid music and stop trying to save face.

I'm about 90% convinced that lyrically, this is the best song on the album.

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects
· All I Really Want
· Rich Off Cocaine
· Lay Back
· Murda Mami
· Gun Play
· Bossy Lady
· Face

Thursday, May 7, 2009

"Grammy nominated, hotel accommodated, cheerleader prom dated..." - Kanye West

Two Words - Kanye, Mos, Free!!!


This song is a CLASSIC!

Visuals in the video > Kanye verse > Grittiness of the video > Mos verse > Freeway's mouth movements when he's rapping > Freeway's verse

"She don't like me, she just like my ad libs, YEEEEEAH!" - Young Jeezy

Now check out this studio session of OJ DA JUICEMAN doing some ad-libs for a track. This makes me laugh out loud.


LOL at how he does his first "AYE!" and everybody bust out laughing. I'm not a fan of OJ DA JUICEMAN (I can't get over the name let alone his lack of lyrical ability) but I can see why people like his music, he IS entertaining. Gucci Mane falls in the same category as OJ in that he can't rap worth much but he can make a club banger, a catchy song in general, or just plain entertain you with his (wait for it...) SWAG!

Quarter post, half-a-post, whole post AYE!

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Face


Face succeeds where Murda Mami fails. That is, in being ridiculously crass, reckless, and OUT OF CONTROL. Leave it up to Trina who dated Baby, then Lil Wayne, and now crazy-azz Kenyon Martin. Surprise though... I actually like the song, call it a guilty pleasure. I guess that makes me freak-nasty too, huh? Nothing wrong with gettin' face!

Face - Rick Ross (feat. Trina)

They don't really waste much time "getting it in" on this track. I won't even mention how Trina starts off the song (let's just say it's pretty raw and uncut).

9 times out of 10 he want a fly yella thang, that can entertain, naked in my yellow chain: That doesn't sound like a bad deal from where I'm sitting. I'd go for 10 out of 10 though. At the same time, Trina seems like she might have one hell of a track record (I know, I shouldn't say that) so I'm not sure if she's the fly yella thang I'd want naked in her yellow chain. Then again, I might not care. Blame it on the vodka and the blue tops.

Sellin' dope, counting money keep my d*ck hard: T.M.I.!

Money like Mariah, Rihanna hairdo: If I was female I think that line might have siced me. I mean Mariah has crazy dough. So much so that any female might want to aspire to be as rich as she is, though hopefully not as lame. And Rihanna is what I would call a "pretty young thang" and I often hear females compliment her on her looks. All this leads me to believe that if a female heard this line it might sice her. Especially if she's the type that is on her grind and stays flyy. But maybe I'm reading into this too much. Ladies???

I left out a few lines I wanted to include but I just couldn't do it with a clear conscience. I'm not really sure why I all of a sudden decided to draw a line on gratuitous sexual references but there were a couple lines I just don't want to post. If you listen to the song you'll be able to figure them out I'm sure.

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects
· All I Really Want
· Rich Off Cocaine
· Lay Back
· Murda Mami
· Gun Play
· Bossy Lady

Wake and Drake: Man of the Year (feat. Lil Wayne)


Pure fire off off of "Comeback Season".



I got a city that I carry like Mariah

Shyt is easy pop, that's why I'm ready mayne/I never copied nor bit like Eddie mayne/Did you get it Eddie Murphy was in Norbit/Or was it way over your head you shold forfeit/Yeah I take a woman shoppin' in a store quick/Her azz big she just tryna make a 4 fit

You tryna make a come-up in my city it's a given/And plus a ni99a famous, plus I got a vision/Not to mention having bars like a motherf-cking prison

Riding with Weezy F-cking Baby/Are you the type of girl that me AND Weezy f-cking baby/Cause I don't waste time can't you see a ni99a lazy/And I might need some help but Weezy f-cking crazy

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Bossy Lady


As far as these Rick Ross radio-friendly songs go:

Magnificent > Bossy Lady > All I Really Want >>> Lay Back

Bossy Lady - Rick Ross (feat. Ne-Yo)

Mine gaudy [un]less I'm going for the sporty look: Hmmmnnn. Not sure how I feel about that line. Maybe that's because mine is sporty unless I'm going for the gaudy look. Then again, authentically gaudy isn't really in my budget. Spoken like a true R.N.

My kicks brown now I'm lookin' for Rihanna 'nem: WHAT???

She asked for head first so she gets it off the top: This does not make sense when you consider this is the same guy that said: "I'm busy baby go and suck another c*ck". Maybe Ross decided to be nice.

Cruisin' down Collins, knocking Trick Daddy: And two songs later he disses Trick Daddy. Very Game-esque moves he's making re: T-Double.

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects
· All I Really Want
· Rich Off Cocaine
· Lay Back
· Murda Mami
· Gun Play

Wake and Drake: Give Ya (feat. Trey Songz)


Another joint from Aubrey. Off his "Comeback Season" Mixtape...



I used to blow a couple thousand at the shake jont/And now it cost a couple thousand for a Drake jont

Even though my ex is f-cking one of my rappers friends/I don't want to seem like I am always attackin' them

Previously mischievous behavior was the leader of me/You could say I was fresh to some conceited degree/Steppin' out the house tryna figure out where cameras from Cheaters would be/But now I need a culprit, I am talkin' beach condo adult shyt/I am talking all day shopping sprees in the mall with friends that I ball wit/here meet Trey's girl, go and get you some faaaaall shyt/

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Happy Mexican Pork Flu Day!!!

Andale andale!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Gunplay


Off the strength of the title alone I knew this one was going to be entertaining (lol). Ross's right-hand man's name is Gunplay and this guy is what I would call a "character". See my reason for calling him a "character" here. I didn't realize that Officer Ricky was going to actually have this guy rapping on the song though. That was just the icing on the cake. Once I realized that Gunplay would be rapping, I knew this would be a tough talk extravaganza. Here's me..."How many bodies are these bamas going to catch on this track?"

Gunplay - Rick Ross (feat. Gunplay)

Tellin' lies getting ni99as wives tied up and raped: Body #1. While it's not technically a body that he caught with that line, raping someone might actually be as bad as killin' someone. In general though, rape is worthy of years in jail if not the death penalty (I can't really advocate the death penalty because I don't believe it's a human's right to decide who lives or dies).

Bullet in my head, bullet in my chest. Yeah they want a ni99a dead, they envy my success: Ross indirectly bodies himself. Body #2. Bawse remember: "You're nobody 'till somebody kills you!"

Ni99as getting wacked no sympathy for the soft, ni99as snitching I know b*tches who clipping ya d*ck off: Wow. Bodies 3 and 4. And yes, having your "manhood" clipped off = death.

Got ya girl panties wetter than a pool party: Ha! He must have thought of this while doing laps in his swimming pool.

Ain't never put sh*t on the line, just sh*t in a rhyme, I shoot a ni99a sh*t in a rhyme: First, what? Say that again??? Second, Body #5.

These internet ni99as, these ain't a threat ni99as. Never seen a labtop in the projects ni99a: I thought that was a pretty raw line. Not lyrical, but just uncut, raw, and to the point. It's like Joe Budden said: "I hate to see you lose your life over a website".

Who dat standing behind the curtain I'll murk 'em: Body number 6.

Only 6 bodies!?!?! That's 1/3 the body count on the average Uncle Murda song. Ross needs to study Uncle Murda while he's studying Jay-Z.

And just in case you're wondering who Brisco is since he's on line 2, here ya go.

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects
· All I Really Want
· Rich Off Cocaine
· Lay Back
· Murda Mami

An argument for sobriety...


Please, please, please visit http://www.textsfromlastnight.com

Some of the stuff there is CLASSIC! For example...
(818): On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?

(845): forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.

(704): How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''

(214): dude. I'm so drunk.
(972): pete, this is bryce's mom
(214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
(972): pete, this is still bryce's mom
Shot out to AB for his post that led me to the site.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Murda Mami


I still get a kick out of that picture too, LOL. It might actually be my favorite one.

Anyway, I am not sure if anyone was surprised by the fact that Foxxy is on this track, but I sure wasn't. I know there were rumors floating around about Ross and Foxxy being an item a while back (not that anybody cared outside the InterWeb) and I thought: "Meh, it wouldn't surprise me. But who really cares?". So when this song leaked I wasn't the least bit surprised and more importantly, I wasn't really excited about hearing it. I have never really been a fan of Foxx although I know a bunch of people that are. I've always thought she was the weakest of the female rappers of her era (Lil Kim, Eve, and Foxxy). She hasn't really impressed me since "Ain't No Ni99a" and that was HOW LONG ago? Since then she's had a couple joints that were hot but overall more drama than quality music. And after she lost (and subsequently regained) her hearing I would be apprehensive to believe that she can even tell what good music is anymore. But I AM glad she has her hearing back.

In a certain ghetto-fabUlous way she and Ross are an ideal couple. She loves to play ghetto azz Bonnie to some guy's Clyde (see: Jay-Z) and they are both about as unforgivingly hood as they can be. What's that mean? It's a match made in the projects.

As for this song, it's the second track on the album I'd skip. I listen to it, but if you asked me what are the tracks on this disc that I label "skip-able", this is definitely one of them.

Murda Mami - Rick Ross (feat. Inga)

She'll take the kilo and stuff it up in the Gucci/Brick of that 'roin, stash it up in the coochie: See what I mean about the Bonnie and Clyde stuff (which is naturally in the hook of the song)? I've always felt like Foxx's goal in life was to be a down-azz-chick. Which isn't altogether a bad life if you took away the potential for jail-time, death, or otherwise emotionally/physically harmful things that could happen.

Me and Ross like the hood version Obama's: GASP! Oh no she didn't!. This is an example of why there needs to be a copy-editing process when hip-hop lyrics are written. Anything Gucci Mane and/or OJ Da Juiceman (seriously) says is the only other example I think I need to prove my point. Quarter-edit, half-edit, whole-edit, AYE!

Hold up! That's it! Just two lines!?!? Great! Now I have to retract what I said in the last post.

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects
· All I Really Want
· Rich Off Cocaine
· Lay Back

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Lay Back


Lay Back misses where Magnificent and Rich Off Cocaine hit. Unlike the other two, this track seems a bit forced. I understand that since Shooter with Lil Wayne every rapper wants Robin Thicke on a hook but I'd argue that since then there have been more hits than misses as far as rappers getting Mr. Paula Patton on their songs. Ask 50 Cent. This would be the first track I'd skip in a full run-through of the album.

Lay Back - Rick Ross (feat. Robin Thicke)

Never shopping from clearance, don't make me embarrassed: I find that hilarious! I can actually picture Ross saying that to a chick because he thinks that highly of himself. On the other hand, someone such as myself that isn't "Rich Off Cocaine" would love to go shopping with a woman grounded enough that she didn't mind hitting the clearance rack. Nothing like a good deal. And it's not like she'd be confined to the clearance rack. But I guess I'm an R.N. (regular ni99a) like 50 Cent says, dah well.

She never a bird, but baby my parrot: Wow.

My car's a virgin, first one to hit it: ROTFLMMFAO!

I'm noticing that as the album goes on I'm hearing less-and-less craziness from Ross. But the next track features Foxxy Brown so I'm sure it's gonna get reckless again.

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects
· All I Really Want
· Rich Off Cocaine

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Examining Rick Ross: Rich Off Cocaine


Rich Off Cocaine is actually a pretty good song for the same reasons that Magnificent is a good song. Ross's raps aren't bad (though there's a littany of cocaine references), the beat is good, and the R&B "crooner" does a good job on the hook. I think Ross missed the mark though changing the title from On Top of the World to Rich Off Cocaine. Rich Off Cocaine would probably be more acceptable if the whole correctional officer thing didn't hit the fan. Now it just seems a bit out-of-place to me. But I didn't executive produce this album so who cares what I think?

Rich Off Cocaine - Rick Ross (feat. Avery Storm)

Like I said previously, there's enough obvious and not-so-obvious cocaine talk in here it's almost entertaining to see just how much time elapses between a coke reference. Or maybe that just entertains me.

How you get a kilo started at an 8-ball: Good example of the type of Ross coke references in this track. Starting at an 8-ball and working your way up to a kilo takes a lot of time and effort (not that I'm promoting drug-dealing), so I'd consider this an accomplishment for any aspiring drug dealer - let alone a former correctional officer slash guy who poured tar UP ON a roof. You know, if drug-dealing is what you decide to do.

Come from where hoes f*ck you for your paint job: You don't even have to guess, it's somewhere in the SOUTH! Candy paint and dunkrydes ALL-READY!

I watch her snort her powder while I'm chillin' sippin tea: I understand that coke is supposed to be the drug of the rich and wealthy but come on. Nothing cool about letting your girl do a Tony Montana-esque line. This guy watches too many gangster movies. That Elvira ish is NOT sexy.

Vacationed in Haiti, it nearly broke my heart/Seeing kids starve I thought about my Audemar/Selling dope ain't right, I put that on my life/Chickens put me in position to donate the rice: Somehow he managed to keep talking about coke but put a positive spin on it. Best.Ross.Bars.EVER!

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects
· All I Really Want

Friday, May 1, 2009

Examining Rick Ross-isms: All I Really Want


I still get a kick out of the above picture.

Ross enlists The (American) Dream for this track. I'm a fan of The Dream and at this point he's one of those go-to guys for hip-hop hooks (like T-Pain) so I expected this track to be decent at the very least. It doesn't disappoint and for that reason I can be caught walking around the crib singing "All a ni99a really want is YOU!"...RADIO KILLAAAAAAAAAAA!

All I Really Want - Rick Ross (feat. The Dream)

Actually, before I start re-treading Ross's verses/lines I want to say that I really am entertained by the confidence with which Officer Ricky makes statements about his sexual prowess. It makes me laugh to think that Ross could even fathom that the general public would find 93.6% of this stuff believable. Back to the show...

Met in D.C. like 'Go Barack!': SICED me!!!

Girl drunk it like a Fiji then she blowed my socks: See what I mean about him saying things that make no sense but rhyme? Blowed my socks? Translation: Ross likes the feeling of wet socks on his feet.

Might let her sit it on my mustache/But [???] now and then again it make her bust fast: I'm really interested in knowing what part I missed in the ???'d spot above. It sounds like he either said maybe or baby. What's hilarious about this to me is that you can look at Rick Ross and NEVER even think about the fact that he does have a mustache because his beard is so gigantic. He seems like the type of guy that would have a "flavor saver" though (if you know what I mean).

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects