Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Monday, October 29, 2007

Miscellaneous Randomness...

If you don't have the American Gangster album AND the American Gangster movie in your possession by now, you probably aren't interested or don't have access to the InterWeb. Not only are they both available, but they're both DOPE from what I've heard...

Keeping up the theme of African - American Gangsters, Nicky Barnes wants you MORONS to start snitching. I guess TI's bodyguard was already onto this....

Still speaking of American Gangsters. Or in this case, someone who is perhaps delusional (read: bi-polar) enough to think he can pull-off American Gangster-ISH shyt, TIPPORD is out on bond. $3 million bond that is. I'm assuming that TI paid for this, not TIP. Now that he is home he can (presumably) resume making records about killing people. Which, by the way, is NOT what he had planned to do with all those guns he had in his crib or the ones he tried to buy. Just so you know...

Remember me talking about the Redskins season? Well, after this weekend's game against the Patriots, eff that post. Then again, it WAS the '07 Pats. If we lose to the Jets next week, then I'll delete that previous post foreVar. LOL....

Normally I don't pay attention to Playboy spreads (Vida Guerra and Garcelle Beauvais notwithstanding), but I did get a link to the Kim Kardashian flicks in the upcoming issue and I wasn't really impressed. Okay, maybe I was a little impressed. About as impressed as I was with the sextape (yeah, I watched it. So what?!). But then again, who am I to judge how beautiful she is when nude? As if someone would be impressed by shots of me in PlayGirl WIRED magazine...

Last but not least, Osama has been found.

That isn't even funny though.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Eff the flow, they jacking my DRANK

Anybody who has gone to a party with me or a social gathering probably knows that my vodka of choice for at least 3 years now has been Ciroc. It's even been mentioned on this site from time-to-time.

So I don't think I need to say that the news of Diddy signing a multi-million dollar deal with Ciroc to "develop" the brand was bittersweet for me. Sweet because it's about time that me and my crew aren't the only people who think that this is the best vodka eVar. Bitter because now that Diddy's going to make this shyt a mainstream, commercialized vodka - (presumably) like Jay and Dame did with Belvedere and Armadale - it'll look like we're drinking it just because Diddy's name is attached to it. Think about all the stuff people drink because some rapper endorses it: Moët, Cristal, Armand de BrokeBack. Not that there's anything wrong with liking what a rapper likes, but I'll be d@mned if Patron isn't the nastiest drink I've eVar tasted in my life. No matter how many rappers promote drink it.

I'm not hating on Diddy's move because that's a shrewd one he pulled off and if my broke-azz had the dough, I may have done the same thing. May have. But now I fear that I am going to have to stop drinking Ciroc because I don't want to be grouped in with the hundreds or thousands of people who will all-of-a-sudden drink Ciroc because of Diddy's recommendation. So I guess I better go cop my last couple of bottles before the price goes through the roof.

"Ciroc? That shyt is so 2004!"

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Déjà Vu

For some reason this...

Vulva (not safe for work...AT.ALL)

reminds me of this...

"Oh Lord! Smells like the Lakers...Shut UUUPPP!"

Doesn't it just seem like that old Jim Carrey footage should be the commercial for Vulva? "I'm here to promote my new fragrance...VULVAAAA!"

If you took the liberty to check out the Vulva website (what a name, by the way), then you'll note the stunningly man-ish looking woman giving you the definition of what "product placement" really is. But what is the box really doing there? And does she NOT make you think of Jim Carrey as Vera DeMilo? Anywho, I doubt that I need to tell you that I currently have 2 orders of this Vulva shyt being sent straight to Daneger's crib...LOL. I am not going to front, I am curious as to what Vulva smells like. Fellas, don't act like I'm the only one. Ladies, you too!

By the way ladies, is this just vagina power (6:45 of pure and classic entertainment, real talk) at it's finest?

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

"I'm telling you my dude... The 106 & South Park generation does NOT get it!"

But should we expect them to?

You might have noticed my "Jena 2" (Bryant Purvis and Carwin Jones of the Jena 6 at the BET Hip-Hop Awards) picture to the right, but as if that (shown again below) wasn't enough...

Here's a little slideshow that further leads me to believe that some of these kids nowadays (even those who face injustice firsthand) either don't get it, don't want to get it, or just don't care...

(Jena 6 defendant Robert Bailey’s photos from his Myspace page)

I hope this is fake or very old but if not... The proof's in the pudding pictures.

A few things that came to mind when I watched this video:
  • Parents? What are those?
  • How could the money go straight to him rather than through some non-profit organization or (at the very least), his parents? That's the one thing that makes this seem like it might be a fake to me. But I don't know how that money-laundering stuff that some non-profits pull works.
  • How would all the people who have supported the efforts down in Jena, LA feel about this? Perhaps instead of wearing black, we should have worn GREEN.
  • Why did they have to use that particular song for this video? Whoever put this together used a song about guns and shootings as the background music for a slideshow of pictures that show not a single gun. Hmmmnnnnn?

Monday, October 22, 2007

You mad cuz he stylin' on you?

"I know what you thinkin', f*cked up ain't it?"

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Politics and Pistols...

Now we're coming full circle...

While lawmakers and activists are on Capitol Hill fightin' the good fight so that the JENA 6 boys can stunt at the BET Hip-Hop Awards, most of us (including me) are just realizing that the federal authorities could have presumably stepped-in on this whole Jena situation and kept this from blowing up to the extent that it did. Meaning, did the right thing. Or could they have? Really though, according the the "law of the land", could they have done it?

Regardless, I think it's good that this issue got the attention it did because it is going to force people to address some of the ugly truths that lots of people tend to avoid discussing, or push under the rug altogether.

Oh by the way, when we think about the JENA 6, let us not dismiss or ignore the fact that the U.S. Attorney for the western district of Louisiana (where JENA is located) is Mr. Donald Washington, a grown-azz Black man. He was appointed by George Dubya in 2001 and is the FIRST BLACK MAN to evAr hold that post. First.Black.EVAR. If most of you are like me (read: have common sense), you'd think he'd feel "some kinda way" about this situation considering it went down in his jurisdiction. Like when you're out and someone disrespects a friend of yours and right before you pull a Diddy, you think: "Nah, that bama ain't gonna go on my man/girl like that." And naturally, Mr. Washington does feel something, although I'm not sure what the fock it is or what the fock it's worth considering the magnitude of this shyt-uation and his occupational title.

Here's his response to being questioned about (allegedly) not doing anything about what was happening in Jena:
"I was also offended, I too am an African-American...I did intervene, I did engage the district attorney. At the end of the day, there are only certain things that the United States attorney can do."
He also added that the U.S. attorney's office investigated the Jena matter but decided not to prosecute because the federal government typically does not bring hate crimes charges against juveniles.

Hmmmnnnnn. I wonder what's the difference between typically not doing something and acting based on injustice? Seriously, wasn't this country allegedly built under the pretense of justice for all? Or better yet, what's the difference between being bound by law to NOT ACT and having the right within the law TO ACT, yet doing nothing? But more important than bringing charges against juveniles for hate crimes is (ding-ding) releasing juveniles who are in jail on trumped-up charges. You Fumb-Duck! Sounds to me like Mr. Washington is missing at least 50% of the point.

And as a comical side to this thing, you've got Representative Lamar Smith saying "more than anything what we need is an effort to reduce racial tension... What we do not need is stoking racial resentment." Oh really? Don't be scurred. That tickles me. Why is it that every time Black folk get effed the eff over, someone jumps up and says we need to thwart racial tension? We don't want those darkies getting riled up at a time like this.

Have you taken a history class? Considering all those years of slavery, Reconstruction, Jim Crow, the fight for civil rights, and so on, I think there might be a slight bit of racial tension. Just a smidgeon. Even without a JENA 6 type of situation.

Willie D. once said: "We ain't against ALL white people, just the white people that's against us." Offensive self-defense (oxymoron, I know). Very Huey Newton (and Bobby Seale) esque I might add.

Lamar Smith needs to sit the fock down and relax. You must be nervous for a reason homie!

And at the same time that lawmakers and activists are fighting for the Jena 6 and everyone's right not to walk into work with a noose hanging in their cubicle, you've got old TIPPORD Harris furthering the stereotype of the maniacally virile, gun-toting Black male by getting caught with enough arms to take out a whole bunch of naggars. Lord knows he wasn't going to use those guns to take out some folks on some 'ole Black Panther ish. My bad, some NEW BLACK PANTHER ish. (If you have never clicked a link in one of my posts before, click that last one. Please.)

Sidebar: When you first heard about this, did it take you back to the Kings of Comedy DVD where Steve Harvey was talking about Rae Carruth? "I know he better not be in that drunk...This mf-er is in the trunk...You got to be the dumbest..."

Perhaps TIPPORD just likes guns (a lot) and he wasn't going to do anything other than keep them in his home. Or perhaps T.I.P. needs the guns to defend himself from T.I. Who knows? Either way, he's probably up Shyts Creek without a paddle even though I hope he somehow pulls an Orenthal James on this one.

So there you have it. While Al Sharpton (who used to launder drug money, by the way) is complaining about a lack of federal intervention in Jena, LA and simultaneously fighting for YOUR right to not walk into work/school and face racist shyt... You've got a former drug dealer and convicted felon with split-personalities arming himself about as well as the CIA armed the Contras back in the day when they [the CIA] were sending arms to South America in return for the cocaine Al Sharpton used to help drug dealers pump on the block.

I blame all this shyt on Oliver North, by the way. Not Reagan! That bama had the federal government pumping like an oil refinery around the time I was born so my mom had the money to raise and take care of me, by herself. I can't be mad at that even if he was complicit in focking poor communities the fock up while simultaneously trying to convince us there was a war on drugs and introducing economic policy that still affects the country (in a good or bad way depending on what class of society your in) to this day.

If countries were characters from the WIRE, America would totally be Clay Davis.

Monday, October 15, 2007

The shirt says it all....

From TIPPORD (Big Shyt Poppin) Harris to Diddy to GAME to Snoop to Pimp C to Beanie Sigel to Cassidy to Lil Wayne to Jay-Z to 50 Cent to Mystikal to C-Murder Miller (literally) to Busta Rhymes to Jeezy to NaS to ... Dayum near every rapper and also your favorite rapper's favorite rapper...

Dumb rappers need teachin'!

This isn't an indictment (no pun intended) of all the rappers mentioned above (some of them haven't been in trouble in a while). I'm just saying that these guys need to be a bit smarter in some of these decisions they're making after they've become famous.
UPDATE: This says it all even better.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Planning for the weekend

This weekend I'm thinking about going bowling in Columbine after I polish my Virginia Tech. Considering that I'm male, young, and black, I gotta have a gun on me.But it's even worse being a black woman. Not only are you presumed to be a nappy-headed ho', but expect black men to call you b*tches whenever, wherever, whyever. But not white men, they have too much respect for you to do that (no Don Imus of course). Well, maybe that depends on whether you're light-skin-deded or dark-skin-deded.

I'm getting off track...

I could just go get steamed in Cleveland then fly to New York to "hang out" at Columbia University. But I've heard that if you're black it's probably better to "hang out" in Maryland at either the Johns Hopkins University or the University of Maryland. Who would have guessed it? Not my non-college educated azz. Sheeeeit, I'm lucky I'm not in jail.

But now that I think about it, my homegirl Jena says she has six friends that are trying to kick it in Louisiana. And I heard Mos Def is probably gonna be there too. And since more white people respect/support Mos Def than blacks (no Cornell West), I think I should show my support. Especially since I'm not out making unfathered babies and all. Meaning, not only do I have time, but I know what time it is. Besides, Louisiana definitely beats going to a place like Philadelphia. Not because Philly is dangerous or anything, but because I like crawfish more than I like cheesesteaks. And I'd rather help stop racism than patrol the city with the highest murder rate so far in 2007.

Ah! Decisions, decisions. Regardless of where I am though, I'll definitely find myself a ho' to superman and sip on a Ciroc Obama.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Keep your dark-skinned azz out of THIS party!

Divide and conquer. They ain't gotta do it. We're doing a much better job ourselves!

She is jive cute though ;-)

Monday, October 8, 2007

Hey kids! Today we're going to learn how to use slaves to make money!

How was THIS part of the curriculum in the first place?

"Over 100 sixth graders at Grover Cleveland Middle School in Caldwell spent several days last week taking part in an assignment where they used terms like 'build a plantation' while completing their 'Lap of Luxury' social studies project...The project instructed students to create an advertisement defending the use of slave labor to run a newly built plantation in South Carolina. Students are told to come up with a 'catchy' name for the plantation and give three reasons why slave labor is the 'best idea' and to add illustrations." (Source: CBS)

This just seems like a poorly thought-through assignment by those who came up with the idea. I don't think embedding the concept of slave labor is acceptable even under the 'guise of being an educational tool. What about you? There are lots of other ways to teach about starting a plantation/business and turning a profit off of laborers/slaves. This should have been stopped before it even became a part of the curriculum.

In a school with only 8 black students...Hmmmnnnn

Thursday, October 4, 2007

R. Kelly, man of many talents....

"Take me to your special place, close your eyes let me see your face..."
If this outfit doesn't tell you that R. Kelly is not your typical person, then I don't know what could have clued you in. Perhaps the fact that he's went delusional on-stage, written some of the most freakily funny songs evAr, and relieved himself on an under-aged princesss of promiscuity. Needless to say, there were some signs that this guy wasn't working with a full deck of cards.

As the video below shows, aside from all his other talents, R. Kelly also knows how to keep his pimp hand strong [||]. I assume that though he castigates and threatens his "girl" in this video, he'd never put his hands on an actual woman in real life. I mean, this is just a video. Speaking of, he's pretty good at videos, isn't he? Whether he's trapped in the closet or trapped in his own porno, Mr. Kelly is probably more likely to put his hands on a video-camera to adjust the shot so you can see him performing sexual acts on an under-aged girl than he is to put his hands on a woman in an physically harmful manner. All bark, no bite (unless it's in the bedroom). More likely to hit a girl or urinate on a girl? You know how I'm voting.

Nevertheless, R. Kelly keeps it trill and represents for all the guys out there who need to exert expletive-laden, half-sensible, verbal castigation in order to feel a sense of control and authority in their relationships. Please believe that this guy keeps his verbal abuse game as strong as Barry Bonds on the cream and the clear. There's no better way to feel like a man, right? Anyway, check it out for yourself (as if you haven't seen this already).

You've gotta enjoy how he starts off by saying he's NOT going to argue and then proceeds to do pretty much just that for about 3 minutes. I'd like to hear her side of this "not-an" argument. Full disclosure, it's her legal right.

My personal favorite lines:
  • "Is you TWEAKIN?"
  • "The next time your azz get horny, go fock one of your funky azz friends! Hell you probably already doing that shyt anyway!"
Indirectly asking your girl if she's on drugs and accusing her of sleeping with one or more of her girlfriends, that's how you solve a relationship problem. Take notes fellas. Even though it's probably not too far off to think that Robert telling her to sleep with one of her friends is really a ploy to get himself in a ménage, this probably isn't the way to go when your girl thinks you've been doing some foul ish. You know what they say, the guilty ones always speak up or get defensive. Then again, they tell you that the quiet ones are the ones to watch out for. Who are they, and what do they know anyway?

In the end, I think most men (including myself) have at the very least felt this way and (possibly) acted this way at some point in time. That is to say, disrespectfully getting your point across to someone you presumably/supposedly care enough about to have thought about what you were about to say prior to saying it. Right? Anywho, my main point is that R. Kelly's got to be close to 40 years old now and if this is part of his "real" life that's being reflected through his music, isn't it kind of time to grow the fock up? Seriously.

Granted, I am not even close to being his age so I can't say that I could begin to understand how a 40 year-old, rich, famous, tantric, alleged child molester feels. At least not yet. Ha! Although I hope to never see the last 3 things on that list. No matter how much exposure and laughter this video gets, I just can't see myself at 40 years old cursing out my wife/girl like that. And do think I'll be steppin' foot in anyone's club as a married 40 year-old? I doubt it, unless my wife/girl is with me. So whether you can relate to this bowlshyt or not you have to realize that this is a prime example of why artists nowadays are pretty much actors and completely reckless with the power their voices have (no disrespect to Mos Def). "Real Talk" is the type of shyt some 18-30 year old boy/guy/man might do (and I wish I was stretching it by saying 30 year-old, but I'm not). Not a 40-year old grown-azz man. Yet Robert Kelly will sit back and let you believe that this is how he acts. Perhaps it is though. And if so, that's sad.

Don't be fooled! This type of song/shyt is not conducive to helping Black male/female relations at all. As if it's not already enough focked the fock up shyt between Black males and females, people (like me, LOL) find it entertaining to watch R. Kelly curse out a woman who literally has no voice (in the song or the video). But as one of the most controversial and at times captivating people in music today, he sure does have a voice that spreads widely [||]. And even after sprinkling all over a 12 year old, our dumbazzez are still listening and being "entertained".

And to think the same man who made this song is the man who said he's the modern-day Martin Luther King. Just in case you forgot:
"I'm the Ali of today. I'm the Marvin Gaye of today. I'm the Bob Marley of today. I'm the Martin Luther King, or all the other greats that have come before us. And a lot of people are starting to realize that now."
Like the greats. Riiiiight. I won't even begin to talk about how even comparing himself to Marvin Gaye and Bob Marley is out-of-place. If you don't know why already, you've completely missed the point.

For some REAL "Real Talk", check Mos Def: