Friday, June 29, 2007

But she didn't even do the robot

Today, there appears to be a growing wave of Beyoncé supporters and TMZ haters. Why you ask? It appears that the highly respected, never disrespectful folks over at TMZ went and called ole' B a "robo-ho". Now all the people like me who waste their days on the internet reading gossip blogs, hip-hop blogs, and pretty much dragging company productivity to all time lows...Have gotten their boxers/thongs in a bunch.

Not to speak out of turn but, why do we care so much? Granted, I don't think it's right that she was called a robo-ho. By the way, I'm sure TMZ didn't really mean to call Beyoncé, Queen of all Black Women (I cringe at the thought), a TRUE ho. They didn't mean a practicing ho as in supa-dupa-head (Karrine Steffans) or practiing ho as in Vanessa del Rio. But ho as in "dressed like a [ho]", right? Let's be realistic and honest here people, plenty of women (including those who are complaining about the roboho comment) dress like whores, REGULARLY. Check your favorite club or summertime splash party for women who have on their ho-uniforms. It's a d@mn shame, but even your friggin church might have some ho-ish outfits in the pews on Sunday. Fact of the matter is that it's not right to call anyone a ho/bitch/nikker (and a littany of other ish) whether they fit the mold or not, simply because it's not nice. Sounds simple I know, but the most important things are the simple ones. Though it's not since, lots of us call people outu of their names everyday (including me from time-to-time). I'm not always nice, and neither is your azz, let's be REAL!

And I do agree with TIP in that there are hoes and b*tches in this world (nikkers too, TIP). But we all know that hoes, biyatches, and nukkas transcend skin color. So my one singular problem with this is that if TMZ is going to call Beyoncé a ho, then they might as well call every spade a friggin spade. Their web posting history suggests that they're not always "nice" about what they think of celebs and that's cool. Opinions are like azzholes and calling someone a ho pretty much makes you an azzhole. But singling out the Queen of All Black Women (?) as a robo-ho or just a ho in general is not cool when there are plenty of other celebs rockin' their ho uniforms as well. Why not spread it out evenly if you're gonna be judgemental azzholes? Or why not keep drink a hot cup of S.T.F.U. before you start talking/typing?

While it's completely wrong for them to call her a ho who can do the robot (???), who are the people that REALLY should gives one or more shyts? All black people? Hell no. Black women? To an extent, because this could affect people's view of them all. Black men? To an extent yes, because we help proliferate negative views of our women by the way WE talk about them and treat them. But who should care the most? That would be Beyoncé and those close to her because they're the people who know she definitely isn't a ho (family) or definitely is a "lady in the street and a freak in the bed" (Jay-Z).

But do I think this has the potential to be blown WAY out of proportion? YES!

When and if these Beyoncé STANS sit back and think, they might realize that they really only know the image that Beyoncé puts forth and not who SHE truly is as a person. I don't think it's hard to see that Beyoncé seems a bit programmed in her interviews and public appearances. Matthew be on his grizzly behind the scenes, ya'll know that! So who knows what type of person she really is?

The fact of the matter is that the people close to Jay-Z's more attractive half probably don't even give two shyts. But they may be forced to come forward and make some sort of statement making it seem like they care because all of these people (read: gossip-seeking web-surfers or STANS) who think that Beyoncé is their best-friend/role-model/idol/whatever feel indirectly disrespected and hence will go ridiculous lengths to create an uproar.

Some people need to get real here. How many times before this has Beyoncé actually worn a ho's uniform? Eventually you had to expect someone to come out of the mouth wrong, right?

If those crotch shots aren't enough for people to at least think ho thoughts without thinking of the actual word "ho", I don't know what is. But now, somebody says it in a public forum and there's an uproar. Boo-hoo! Ladies, how many times have YOU worn a ho's uniform? Hmmmmnnnn? And don't trick yourselves into think that because you have numerous college degrees and a good job while wearing that short skirt, stilettos, and halter-top that you weren't wearing an actual ho uniform, because you WERE!

Stop wearing all the skimperrific shyt and maybe people won't think that way? If you dress and carry yourself like a WOMAN, then people won't immediately assume you're a whore. If you're afraid of people judging you as a ho before getting to know you, don't GIVE THEM A REASON to judge you before they know you by dressing like Dame Dash just poured champiggity on you at a video shoot. And as far as Beyoncé, it's not like her mom's horrible taste in fashion doesn't keep her looking like a complete (thought I'd never say this...) H.A.M. anyway. A ho's uniform is supposed to turn a guy on right? Well, if those outfits aren't the complete opposite of a ho's uniform, I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS! Her mother's outfits hurt my eyes sometimes with all that glittery ish.

I truly don't get why Black folks like to get all up in arms about ish like this especially when shyt happens like the Supreme Court vote yesterday where they basically decided that if good public schools wanna keep our black/latino azzez out, they can go ahead and discriminate with no legal ramifications.
"Go ahead and promote racial diversity in the classroom, if you think that's important, the court basically said. But whatever you do, you can't take race into account."
On top of that, a black man (Clarence Thomas) voting in favor of this shyt! We should be in an uproar attacking his azz, not a friggin website!
"Thomas, the court's only black member, wrote a concurring opinion in which he had the gall to cite Brown vs. Board of Education, the landmark 1954 decision that integrated the nation's schools, as precedent for Thursday's ruling -- which will boldly advance the cause of resegregation."
BUT OH NO, somebody called Beyonce a ho, let's round up all the rappers with criminal records and WebNerds and whoop some azz!

As noted above, there are so many other worthy (and more important) causes we can fight for as a people. Yet-and-still, we want to get up in arms taking up for Beyoncé because she's contributing so much to the Black community already. SURE! All you ladies can pat your weaves, dress sexy, and make your azz gyrate thanks to the woman who most definitely is NOT a robo-ho.

For the record, I'm not saying Beyoncé is a ho, but I am saying that statement shouldn't be a shock to any of us? I'm not saying don't get upset, I'm asking you to think about why you are upset? I'm not saying she shouldn't be taken up for, I'm asking WHO should be taking up for her? I'm not saying it's not a worthy cause for some, but what are the causes we all should fight for?

Like my mother says: "Use your head for more than a hat rack!" In other words, THINK!

Right NOW: Kanye's 2 for 2...TIP's T.I.

What I mean is that Kanye West has released two very good songs. Whether you agree or not is up to you. TIP on the other hand, has released two TI tracks. Meaning, (taking alter-egos into consideration) TIP (the Clifford we knew before the mainstream success) has released two TI-type songs right now. That's not to say that they aren't good songs, but they aren't very good either. I'd call them safely formulaic.

As a refresher, TI/TIP/Clifford has this alter-ego thing he's been pushing for a while now and this album is supposed to be the musical version of a battle/struggle between the two personas/egos/whatever. TI is the businessman who knows how to maintain his cool and get the job done. TIP is that dude from the street that embodies all the brashness, bravado, pride, and machismo of your local hustler/trapper/whatever.

Up to this point, TIP has released "Big Things Poppin" (which I really like now):

And he has also released "You Know What It Is" (which is slowly growing on me but the whole Wyclef thing is gonna be a huge issue for me):

The two songs are not TIP-type songs (i.e. - street songs). Neither is close to "What You Know" or even "Rubber Band Man", but they're two "safe" releases in that they'll both garner radio spins and video play. In my opinion, these are songs that don't stick to the "formula" 100%, but they're still very formulaic...Safely forumlaic. In case you haven't figured it out, TI keeps the production very radio-friendly; the lyrics are pretty much in-between ballerish and gangsterism; and the videos typically show him being aggressive yet cool at the same time (read: ultra-swag).

This *formula* will probably work out very well for TI since his album drops soon (Tuesday) and there's a heap of controversy promotion surrounding the album. Admittedly, most hip-hop fans who surf the InterWeb already have the album and probably won't buy it, but I'm sure he'll still probably move more than Fabolous did the first week (159,000). Having heard TIP's album, I'd have to say that Fab's is the better of the two, by the way.

Kanye West's album doesn't drop till sometime in the fall I believe (correct me if I'm incorrect) August 21 but he's ALREADY released two songs that will probably have faded off (in the U.S. at least) by the time his album even hits the shelves. But there's something interesting in Kanye releasing two very good songs long before his album comes out. It speaks to how he's confident enough in the rest of the material he has (or is working on), that he feels he just wants to put his music out when he feels like it. And we all know he's not at a loss for confidence. One thing about Mr. TuDa is that he does seem to put a lot of effort into his music and his videos. Sometimes he's over-confident and sometimes a bit annoying with his immature rants, but one thing you can expect from Kanye is quality production and a tremendous amount of effort put into his work. You may have noticed that I left out the expectation of quality lyrics. I actually did this on purpose because I think the following song gives you an idea of the type of effort that I hope Kanye puts into his lyrics from here on out:

Can't Tell Me Nothing

And just as a bonus I've added the second single off the Graduation LP. The fact that Mr. TuDa wasn't afraid to sample Daft Punk (who I must admit I know jack shyt about) to create a hip-hop track is applaudable. Pushing the limits of your music, being creative, exposing who you are a person (no JohnnyCakes), trying new things and being different than everyone else...Isn't that a large part of what hip-hop is about? What hip-hop needs? Or maybe it's just me??? What I do know is that THIS is not what hip-hop is about.


MUSIC ... Kanye

STYLE ... T.I.

Monday, June 25, 2007

"Is Wayne Brady gon' have to smack a b*tch?"

I bet that's now what he meant when he asked her if she swallows!

Mannnnn I swear fo Jon Bobbitt if someone tries this...
"She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it"
...I will be going to jail, FOREVER! Matter of fact, they might give me the electric chair. Ladies, imagine someone cutting into you and snatching out an ovary. OUCH!
"Bussa moove homebwoi"

TI (or perhaps TIP) should let us do a "short man's complex" case study on him. This guy really has some aggression issues. Seriously:
"T.I. punched Zulu in the face and a small, brief melee ensued."
Melee, small...Mutually exclusive, no? Anyway, "Watch What You Sayyyy" to TIP/TI!
Mobile WebNerds, STAND UP!

I'll have a labtop within a couple weeks so I'll be getting my mobile WebNerd on! Don't hate! I'll be able to access the InterWeb even more often now. This makes me smile inside. I'm sure a lot of you probably already figured I had a labtop, but NOPE! I've been using my top of the line year 2000 Micron PC. Seriously, I have.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

I Met Kelly Rowland...Scratch that off my "things to do before I die" list

  • Drive that highway on the west coast that goes from wayyy north to wayyy south...
  • Sky dive...
  • Start a business...Check
  • Teach...
  • Visit Hawai'i
  • Ride motorcycles with my mom and grand-dad
  • Play a midget one-on-one in basketball for $30...
  • ...
  • blah blah blah
  • ...
  • Meet Kelly Rowland...As of last night...CH-CH-CHECK!
Some of you already know I'm a fan of Kelly Rowland. If you're not, you can read about that here.

Back to last night though. Who would have thought that Kelly Rowland would actually show up last night to a "listening party" being advertised with this shoddy azz flier:

Throw some resolution on that b*tch! (Not Kelly, the flier. There's no way to make that line sound respectable is there? Anyway, graphic designers, stand up!)

Woo informed me yesterday that he got me on the guestlist for this listening party so naturally I dropped everything I should have been doing and jetted to D.C. to attend. I've never been to Lotus before so I didn't know what to expect. On top of that, every other listening party I've been to, the artist has NOT been in the building, so I didn't know what to expect in that regard either. Nevertheless, I decided to go and it was the best decision I made yesterday aside from not ordering that 3rd Hennessy and cranberry, without the cranberry.

Kelly showed up in the spot about a half-hour after Woo and I did. Beautiful smile, nice dress, nice hair. Pretty much like this. She was very personable as she walked through the lounge. She smiled the entire time, greeted people, and didn't act how *some* celebs act (like they're better than others). It was a pleasant surprise that she actually showed up and on top of that, was really down-to-earth.

But I'm sure you guys don't really care about what I thought about Kelly Rowland last night, you want to know if I took a picture with her or if I tried to get her number or something. Well, neither of those things happened, but this did...

Woo and I were standing by a couple couches, drinking, and Kelly starts to walk over and he starts telling me he wants me to take a picture. So I tell him I'll take a picture of him and Kelly with my phone. Shortly thereafter, the girl sitting next to us says hi to her and then she walks directly to me:
Kelly R.: Hey, what are you drinking?
Me: Can't tell you, it's a secret. [Getting my R. Kelly and T-Pain on. Ahem...Flirting.]
Kelly: [Taking a step back and giving me the "Negro, I'm Kelly effing Rowland" face] Boy stop playing!
Me: [About to panic] Just joking, It's Hennessy and cranberry.
Kelly: Is that something new?
Me: Nah, it's old-school.

[Interrupted by Woo]

Woo: I'm next! I want a picture with you.
Mike: [About to smack fire out of Mr. Interruption and realizing she has a horde of people trying to take pictures with her] I see you're in demand. Nice meeting you.
Kelly: You too!
At this point I'm pretty siced, I can't front. With all these guys in here running up to her with their cameraphones and digital cameras, she actually walked up to me and spoke. Nice.

I then took a picture of Woo and Kelly with my cameraphone. Unfortunately, my phone (daggon Windows Mobile OS on this thing) FROZE right after I took the picture. I guess it couldn't handle the thought of me not being in that picture with her. As a result of my phone freezing up, I had to pop the battery out and back in (no Johnny Gill or Eddie Murphy) and then cut the phone back on. Only to realize that the picture was not saved.


Needless to say, Woo was/is/will-always-be pi$$ed. With or without the picture, it was a memorable night. Kelly Rowland just solidified herself as my #1 celebrity sleeper bun-bun. Until Dania Ramirez or Sophia Bush step their respective games up.

Funny side story: After I told my boy B about it, he emailed me and said: "She prolly thought you was Swizz!" LMAO! Nah, it must have been that gallon and a half of cologne I bathed in before I got out of my car. LOL. Anyway, I joked with him that I should have acted like I didn't know who she was and maybe I could have gotten the digits (yeah right!). He then said:
"You should have asked her where was Beyoncé!"
You know that ain't right. LOL.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Untitled: You know the drill!

Sad news: Jill Scott's getting a divorce. It's sad how the inspiration for a lot of her best work could be out of her life shortly.

In Delcambre, wear your pants at your waist or face a $500 fine or 6 months in jail. Not that I think wearing sagging pants is cool or should be done, but now they're passing laws that mandate how you can dress? Interesting. What's next? Really?

New Lupe Video for "He Say She Say". This is my favorite Lupe song off his debut LP, "Food and Liquor":

These football players just can't resist the urge to ride motorcycles. Ben Roethlisberger, Kellen Winslow, now...LaVar Arrington gets injured riding a motorcycle

The Diamond Princess, Sam Alexis Woods. Yes, Tiger's daughter. Man, I hope they start calling her by her middle name early in life.

That Kobe guy is quite a character.

R.I.P. Stack Bundles, and one of the suspects in his murder. You know dead rappers get better promotion.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Random Food for Thought: Brother

I don't know why, but this evening I realized how much power I believe there is in the word "brother". It's a simple word most people use to describe a family member. But as a black male, I think it means (or can mean) so much more than just that.

A lot of young black men like myself call each other my "ni99a", "dog", "homie", "man", "ace", "boy", etc. But I don't hear very many people say, "that's my brother". And I know what most of you are thinking: "I only say 'that's my brother' when I'm actually talking about my brother."

Of course!

But, rather than saying that's my dog/ni99a/homie/man/boy/etc., what if we said "that's my brother"? The reason I ask is because the word brother has more meaning and depth than those other words. Brother can mean blood brother. Brother can mean my spiritual brother. Brother can mean my black brother. And brother can simply mean my comrade.

My brothers refer to me as their brother and it makes me feel loved.

I've had church elders call me "brother" and it makes me feel like they care about me on a spiritual level.

I've had random black men on the street say "what's up brother" and it makes me feel like we have a bond and are striving for a common goal. Whatever happened to us referring to one-another that way, by the way?

And I've had my white co-worker refer to me as brother while we were at his place having crabs and drinking.

From what I have experience, "brother" can overcome all spiritual, racial, familial and economic boundaries we place between one-another. And if you really want to get spiritual with it, aren't we all brothers anyway? Perhaps "brother" should usurp some of the other terms we use to denote friendship/camaradarie? I know for a long time I've referred to males that I know as my man/boy/homeboy/homie/ni99a/dog/ace and so on...So I guess I should start using brother more often myself?

Just a random thought I had.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

I'm speechless...

Introducing, "B-G"

Hmmmmmnnnn. Mom's MUST be proud!

Who sent this kid to rapper mini-camp? He got the bop and swag down already. Jeez!

...must be from Texas..."Bawsss"..."Hawssss"!

I don't know whether I think this is ghetto F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S or to think it's endearing or to think it's...I just don't know!

Please! Help me out!
UPDATE: After further investigation this is officially ghetto fabu-bliss!

In the words of K:
"...aren't 5 year olds supposed to think girls have cooties...I'm glad whoever his parents/guardians are, they are teaching him excellent values."
Or so the lyrics say. I'm sure his parents have to be writing these uplifting lyrics. I sure hope this kid is a full-time student and part-time rapper, that's for sure.

BENTLEY GREEN everybody. And there's a crapload of other craptastic videos on YouTube if you search for this kiddo...

3 minutes and 50 seconds in starts some classic ish...

In case you were wondering, it gets better/worse, depending on your perspective

Love the captions by the way! If he can memorize all this shyt, he should be taking Organic Chemistry next year. This kid better find a d@mn cure for cancer or something!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

'Frisco Baby!

Last week I was in San Francisco for work. Fortunately, I had the opportunity to travel around San Francisco a little and do some sightseeing, go to a Giants game, ride the trolley cars, and get a taste of what life is like in the San Francisco area.

I got to see - either in person or from a distance - a few famous (and some not so famous) landmarks in San Fran like...

The Yerba Beuna Center for the Arts

This was a statue of a man "shaking hands" so I shook his hand. Unfortunately, I was so tall and I have such a big head (no Johnnycakes) that you can't see the face of the statue

Union Square

Union Square is surrounded by some of the nicest high-end shopping anyone can ask for. Ladies, if you haven't been in this area before, when you get to San Fran, you gotta check it out

Ghirardelli Square

The San Francisco Museum of Modern Art

AT&T Park

The main reason I went to see the Giants play was to see the man below, Barry Bonds. Even with all the steroid accusations and his standoff-ish personality, I wanted to say I'd seen Barry Bonds play live and in person. Though it was super-cold I still enjoyed most of the 6 innings I watched.



The Fisherman's Wharf

Pier 39

I was also lucky enough to get some pictures of the San Francisco skyline from atop the Hyatt Hotel in their GrandViews restaurant.

Also, pictures of the Powell (shot out to my step-dad) Street Trolley car and some nice shots while riding the trolley car.

I also got a great picture of dusk in San Francisco which is one of my two favorite pictures from the trip.

If you haven't already checked out the following stuff in San Fran, you HAVE TO whenever you are out there:
  • The Fisherman's Wharf
  • Pier 39
  • Chinatown
  • Ruby Skye Lounge
  • Scoma's Restaurnt
  • GrandViews Restaurant atop the Hyatt
  • Union Square
  • Ride the Powell Street Trolley
I'm sure there's a ton of things I missed because I didn't get to experience them this time around, but that's a great place to start.

Overall, my trip was a GREAT one. There were a few things I didn't like about San Francisco like the bums and the lack of black people especially black women (at least where I was), but there were far more good things about San Francisco than bad and I think you can see that from the pictures above.

Miscellaneous Randomness....

Retrospective Thought: What was the DJ playing?

By my calculations, this party took place on May 5, 2007 - the weekend of the Mayweather vs. De La Hoya fight. But what I wonder is exactly what was on the speakers during the moments these pictures were taken. Around that time, the most popular club songs could have quite possibly been songs by people that one or more of these guys allegedly dislike. Here's a list:
  • Make It Rain - Fat Joe (Jay-Z and 50 don't like this guy)
  • We Flyy High - Jim Jones (Jay-Z doesn't like this guy)
  • Flirt - R. Kelly (Jay-Z doesn't like this guy)
  • And I know I'm forgetting a couple other songs that fall into this category.
Now it coudl have been Go Getta with Jeezy and R. Kelly which would actually make things a bit more confusing (Jeezy likes Kellz but Jay-Z doesn't and Jeezy and Jay could have gotten upset with one-another, etc. etc.). Or they could have been playing hits by all of these artists (which seems more realistic anyway) get the point. With Diddy and Jay alone you've got like 3 hours worth of hit songs to play, especially if you include Bad Boy artists in the "Diddy" category. And with Jeezy and 50 Cent you've got some more recent "hits" that you can rock to. Nelly, not so much.

I say all this to pose the question:

Could these guys possibly have been drunk enough off that Ace of Spade champiggity that they were actually partying to songs made by people they don't like? I think it's plausible/possible, but I guess I'll never know. Or were they getting drunk and throwing money around to a soundtrack of their own hits...I guess I'll never know.
What's wrong with this picture?

Let me tell you...
  • Jackie Long is posing for a picture with seaweed in his hands. WTF?
  • Serena's back is more defined than Jackie's chest. Mine too, for that matter. LOL.
  • Can we say wedgie? Not that I am complaining (LOL).

Don't call Timbaland a ni99a

This was probably just a warning shot for Scott Storch.

Monday, June 11, 2007

A movie I saw and a movie I'm going to see...

Knocked Up

I saw this film over the weekend in San Francisco and I was laughing the entire time. If you liked the 40 Year Old Virgin you'll like this movie. It's one of those movies that has a very serious storyline meshed with (at times) crude and crass humor. But for people like me, it really does entertain. LOL.

American Gangster

I don't have as much to say about this film (for obvious reasons) other than I am excited to see Common, TIP, and Denzel acting together. Not to mention my man Maximus (Russell Crowe) is in this film and it's being directed by an Academy Award Winning Director (Brian Grazer). I think this is going to be a great film. Hopefully it'll be this year's "The Departed".

Addendum: I also saw "Wild Hogs" and "Shooter" on my flight back from San Francisco and both are definitely worth renting if you have some time to watch a decent movie.

Friday, June 1, 2007

"Video Game James": The TakeOver

Drew Gooden dubbed LeBron "Video Game James" after last night's ridiculously amazing performance (from LeBron) in a win over Detroit (in Detroit) to take the series lead 3 games to 2. Drew called him that because he said "those were moves I used to do with my video game. Take one guy and just let him take over the game and score all the points." Touché Drew! Touché!

So aside from "The Chosen One", "King James", "Bron-Bron", and plain ole' Lebron, Mr. James has a new nickname now, "Video Game James".

If you didn't see the game you missed what was probably the best playoff game so far this year. LeBron put on a show that the commentators were calling "one of the best performances in NBA history." Even Charles Barkley called him a "raging inferno" after the game, referring to LeBron's ridiculous play in the 4th quarter, 1st OT and 2nd OT. Here's LeBron's line from last night.

48 points
9 rebounds
7 assists (which technically means at least 14 additional points for his team)
2 steals

The guy was 1 rebound and 3 assists away from a triple-double. Not to mention he scored "his team's final 25 and 29 of its final 30." It was an amazing performance.

With all the recent talk of LeBron not showing up in the fourth quarter or whether he should have made that pass to Donovan McMarshall Donyell Marshall at the end of game 1, he showed up HUGE in the last 3 games when it mattered. I wonder if this will squelch all the talk of his 4th quarter "disappearances" or if it will just bring about more talk of how last year the Cavs were in this exact same position (one game from winning the series) and they lost the last two games of the series.

Or, perhaps this will be the coming of age that we all knew LeBron would eventually have during one of these early-career playoff runs. Keep in mind that he's only 22 years old. He's got a lot of years ahead of him to put on performances like this. Last night could have been the beginning of something really really scary for not only Detroit but for the rest of the NBA as well. The way he took over the game last night was (dare I say it) Jordan-esque. Even LeBron said in a post-game interview that he didn't know he was "that good." Well, now he knows, and the rest of the league knows as well. If this gives him the confidence to go out there and end games the way he did last night, it could mean that there are more Jordan-esque moments to come from the man who wears the same number as the greatest basketball player of all time.