Friday, July 31, 2009

R.I.P. Jarronn Jackson

Just got an email from a mutual friend telling me my homeboy died last night on his motorcycle. It fucked my head up bad. Still not really sure where my head is just yet but right now this feels therapeutic. He just got married on May 15!!! He probably hasn't even gotten the wedding photos back yet. His wife, his house, his job. In one short breath life is over. I've experienced a lot of loss in my life of people my age. Some close to me, some not so close. Jarronn and I weren't best friends but that was my man. We hung out, talked about real things going on in our lives, laughed, joked. Every once in a while I got a call from homie..."Mike DAWG, what's up brotha?!"

He hit me up on BBM earlier this week just to see how I was doing. I hadn't talked to him since his wedding but he always keeps in touch even if it's just to say what's up. My heart goes out to his family, his wife, and everybody else that knew him. We shared some fun-azz moments together...Miami, ski trip, and he and his wife were supposed to be going on my cruise in January.

It hurts. Rest In Peace Jarronn.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Eff the Flow the Jocking My SLANG!

The following post is written from the perspective of Mike La Flare. If you don't know, you better ask @Apuje, @RahofEyekon, @LAFgoesON, or @Nicole_Alexis.

I be on twitter sometimes right. And when I be on twitter sometimes I use certain words that I think I came up with like to use to describe different emotions or events or just for emphasis. But son, it be mad people that regurgitate my ish w/out giving me any credit, B. And I derive my self-confidence from: 1) Doing the same stuff Jay-Z and Diddy do (shot out to Laf), 2) getting retweets on the TwitterNets, 3) getting comments on this blog, and 4) coming up with nerdy terms like TwitterNets and WebNerd.

For that reason Imma go ahead and put together this list joe because bamas be jye faking like they don't know who came up with these jonts.

WOMP: This is an expression that can be used to mean..."bullshyt", "suuuuuuure", "yeah right", "I'm laughing at your dumb azz", "take that" (à la Diddy), and much more. I use this mostly to say "take that", "yeah right", "bullshyt", or just for emphasis on the tail-end of something that amuses me (I'm a dork like that, you're cooler than me).

For example: "You just bought some Jellys? Sweetheart, it's 2009! WOMP!"

SCRUMPET: A scrumpet is also known as a scallywag, trifle whore, mud-duck, hoodrat, or otherwise socially, morally, and aesthetically unacceptable female. I may sometimes use this to describe a guy just to piss him off (à la calling him a "pussy azz ninja" or "eff boy").

For example: "This nasty-azz scrumpet just freaked that bama on the dancefloor and pulled her dress up in front of the whole club." You could have put a "womp" on the end of that one too by the way.

SHYTUATION: This is a circumstance in which something effed up, crazy, or otherwise flabbergasting has taken place.

For example, when you think you are sending a direct message on Twitter and you send it publicly, that's a shytuation.

YANKEE: I stole this one from my man Sean (RIP) I'm not gonna lie. A yankee is a dude that does some stuff that guys just aren't supposed to do. A yankee is probably on the same level as a clown, herb, bama, or whatever your regional slang is for a cornball.

For example: "This yankee gonna invite us all to the club saying he got a free table and bottle service, order bottles, party, and then when it's time to leave tell US the bill is $500. EFFING YANKEE!"

This is just the first few. I have some more I use in casual (verbal) conversation that'll eventually get to the TwitterNets, but until then I would appreciate a "(courtesy @mcarroll4716)" when you jock my fresh. Thanks!

My Latest Pair

I just copped some new kicks and as @LAFgoesON and @RahOfEyekon can attest to, I have a penchant for copping shoes that I assume no one else will buy or has. I don't really follow trends when it comes to tennis shoes or sneakers. When it comes to boots or dress shoes I'll go with the flow and get some Tims (no Nike Boots though) or some Ferragamo's or Mezlans or whatever else is the standard for quality. But I like to keep my casual/tennis shoe game a lil spicy/different.

I just got the pair below and my co-worker @bwingenroth told me he was feeling them. @Angolia loathes them but she also hated these, calling them "boat shoes". Yet she doesn't call these (which I also have) boat shoes. Go figure. To each his/her own.

The shoes below are actually pretty old so I'm sure there have been dudes with these already but hopefully they've "fallen off the map" (so to speak) so when I break out with a fresh pair it'll come across as stylish and not plain ole' late.

What do you think?

P.S. - Laf, this does not mean that the adidas are getting retired. Imma wear those until they leaning like a dope fiend.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Shake it now, shake it now, shake it now, SHAKE IT!

"...she can spend every birthday butt-naked." -- Wreck N Effect

Ladies, this is the perfect Valentine's Day Gift for the woman who cares about her arms AND, her man.

Hilarious Shake Weight Exercise for Women - Watch more Funny Videos

Shot out AB for sending me the email about this video. Check out his post too ya'll (and his blog in general because he is a fool, lol).

This is what happens to Black Men in America!!!

Well yeah, this type of shyt does happen *sometimes*, but not ALL THE TIME. What am I referring to? Nothing other than the shytuation revolving around the arrest of world-renowned professor and Director of the W.E.B. DuBois Institute for African and African American Studies Henry Louis Gates Jr., affectionately known as "Skip" by friends.

Apparently the statement "This is what happens to black men in America" was uttered by Gates at least 2 or 3 times during his incident with the police in Cambridge, MA.

Well yes, it is what happens, sometimes. We [Black men] get stereotyped. Sometimes I wear my fitted cap backwards with a tilt and people look at me differently than they do when I have on slacks and a shirt. Sometimes the "wow, I'm shocked you went there" expression shows on people's faces when I tell them my alma mater. Sometimes, even though I smile and say hello women grab their children's hands and bring them closer if I have on "casual" clothing and I'm walking down a semi-darkly lit street at night. But sometimes none of these negatively stereotypical things happen to me. And this is why I think Gates' shytuation is so thought-provoking, sobering, and well REAL. The truth of the matter is that the election of a Black president don't mean much on the ground-level. On the macro level the shyt looks great. On the micro level, brothers still getting stereotyped. There is no such thing as post-racial people. Get that through your thick skulls.

Obama's election meant "yes we can" in more ways than one. You can call it the infinite entendre if you like.

Yes WE can move past prejudice and racial stereotyping.

Yes WE can be Black and achieve in a society where we are the minority.

Yes WE can help non-Blacks understand our past, present, and where we are headed in the future.

Yes WE can help show others that not all of us who dress a certain way ACT a certain way.

Yes WE, can.

Based on what I know of Henry Louis Gates I would suspect that he would not have said "this is what happens to black men in America" haphazardly. He wouldn't have said it to victimize himself unnecessarily or make the officer(s) uncomfortable. He would say it because that's how he truly felt. Henry Louis Gates is a highly educated man who surely understands how blurting out accusations of prejudice and racism can be more than just an accusation that makes the accused look bad. It can also make the accuser appear a racially hyper-sensitive, subconsciously self-victimizing, ignorant BLACK PERSON NI99ER. And the last thing we as a people need is one more of us looking ignorant. Especially not one that's as well educated and respected as Henry Louis Gates Jr.

The story goes that Gates was returning home from a trip to China and he was having trouble getting into the door of his home. How you have trouble getting into your own front door is beyond me but sometimes you've gotta "wrench around" and jiggle the lock the bit more so I'll assume he was just tired and somehow the door wouldn't open on the first try. A "white woman" phoned the police saying that a break-in was taking place.

Question #1: Do his neighbors not know who he is? I assume the white woman was his neighbor. I also assume that he is probably one of only a few (if not the only) Blacks that live in his neighborhood. And in case you don't know, in rich neighborhoods non-Blacks know EXACTLY who the Black people are and where they live. It's obvious to me that whoever called the police may have been profiling Gates moreso than the police did.

Gates made it into the foyer of his home by the time the police arrived and they asked him to step outside. He responded "No, I will not". This is where Gates took one step in the wrong direction (to "niggerdom"). I understand he was mad and he felt like he didn't have to deal with the bowlshyt but BLACK MEN, DO NOT get it twisted, one step towards acting like what "they" think a "nigger" acts like is a step toward a bad outcome for you.

Question #2: Why didn't Gates just step outside, show his identification, explain what happened, and (probably) avoid the situation altogether? My guess is that he was pissed because he was just getting home and caught off-guard for some reason he was not remotely aware of. AND, because he didn't want to step outside of his own home. Yet-and-still, are those reason enough to start off your conversation with the police on an insubordinate tip? And I know some of you will be upset at the use of the term inSUBordinate and I don't really like it now that I re-read it but it is what it is.

Gates them demanded to know who the police officer was and his badge number. This one is a bit tricky because I am pretty sure citizens have the right to do this but depending on how you are saying it, it could definitely come across as belligerent. I'm going to guess that Gates came off with a smidgeon of confrontation. Just a guess. Oddly enough, the officer told him who he was and asked him to step outside again and Gates then goes "Why? Because I'm a Black man in America!?!"

Question #3: Seriously, why did he have to pull the race card. Up to this point it appears the officer was not doing anything wrong but yet-and-still if you're a white officer and you're dealing with a Black "suspect" you get the race card pulled avec le quickness. It's not always fair to the officer. I'm not taking up for the litany of white police officers who are effed the eff up and racially profile or are straight up racist. I'm just saying that some of these white officers out here are just looking to protect and serve all people.

Gates then refused to show his ID but eventually gave in. In the end, Gates ended up blurting the " man in America" line a couple more times and eventually arrested for taking a 3rd step into niggerdom disorderly conduct.

In the end, the charges were droppped and we all know he should have never been arrested. Ray Charles could see that. But he also should have drank a hot cup of STFU at a couple points during the shytuation and it would have saved some drama. Or perhaps Gates decided at some point during all this that he wanted to be a martyr (of sorts) and bring some attention to the issue of racial profiling by policemen. A highly-respected Black man being arrested in a liberal town for breaking into his own home??? Why not bring some MUCH-NEEDED attention to the issue of racial profiling and injustice? Perhaps this is what Gates was thinking, I'm not sure. This incident will bring light to the situation as we can all see by our President addressing the situation and contacting both Gates and the police officer involved. And at this point, someone in Gates's position probably should speak out during situations like that because there are many young Black men in the less wealthy neighborhoods of this country that have no voice at all when it comes to situations like this. The more light the better.

I read this article on the Inside Higher Education website and I walked away with several quotes that stuck in my head and I'd like to share:
"Odd, isn’t it? Here we are in the age of Obama, and some things haven’t changed. Blackness is associated in the public mind with wrongdoing; if we are spotted in an unexpected locale, we must be up to something." - Stephen L. Carter, Yale University Law Professor

"When incidents like this occur it lets the greater population become aware of something that most black men are aware of simply by nature of having been black in America" -- Michael Cuyjet, acting associate provost for student life and associate professor of education at the University of Louisville

"[Jack] Levin, who is white, said the take-away from the incident is that Gates and other black men live in a world where racism is prevalent enough that Gates would reasonably conclude he was targeted because he’s black." -- Jack Stripling
The comments on the Inside Higher Education article are rather interesting as well.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Video: 88 Keys feat Shitake Monkey - Friend Zone

I can't lie, I used to frequent the friend zone. WOMP! Nowadays I try to thwart it but sometimes it's really just unavoidable. Such is life.

Previously on 88 Keys:

Death of Adam album review

Viagra (Stay Up!) Video

Friday, July 17, 2009

PacMan Jones: Cheap BASTARD! Jermaine Dupri too!

I'm not fond of strip clubs but I have made the occasional jaunt to the land of lust and I definitely abide by the "unwritten" strip club rules. I don't have enough money to make it drizzle let alone make it rain, so I don't know what it's like to bring "$100K" into a strip club and have it broken-down into $1 bills so I can throw it around and then ask for it back. Hold up, ask for it back???

Who goes to the strip club and does THAT?

Evidently, PacMan Jones, Jermaine Dupri and *maybe* even Nelly (Mr. Pimp Juice himself) ask for their money back after causing some (*Michael Steele voice*) "precipitation in the heezy". Newsflash fellas, this is not WAL-MART!

Here is my problem with the shytuation:

You guys are supposed to be rich!

It ain't trickin' if you got it, right? Go ahead and waste your money on some skrippas rather than a new chain or a Maybach or a Bentley. If you gonna stunt that hard you gotta play the full part, not just the dress rehearsal. Shouldn't you be fully committed to your stuntin' if you're this *rich*? I mean who else really has the money to stunt like this. Somebody's gotta do it and do it for real, not for show. Have some integrity guys, please.

And now for some comic relief. Why did I bust out laughin' when I heard/saw... "I'm Jermaine Dupri!"

Yeah AND your like 3'8"! I'm supposed to take orders from you?

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Video: Drake - Best I Ever Had

"I have just been sittin' in this cell thinkin' what I coulda done to make my first video ground breaking" -- Drake "Goin In For Life" (Comeback Season Mixtape)

Ummmm, FAIL!

First impression...Tig Ole Bitties.

What is up with Drake and his cardigans?

Funny thing is that in the face Drake looks old enough to be a HS bball coach.

What does basketball have to do with this song and vice-versa?

"When you're out there and they put that 'D' on you. Take that 'D'!...And you all know good and well what we can do in 2 minutes" <-- WOMP!

I'm not sure what Kanye was trying to do with this video but I definitely didn't expect anything like this. This video is made for 106 & Park where nobody really cares if the video correlates to the content of the song. Drake, I expected better!

And the fact that there are probably lots of other people out there that expected better may end up being the biggest challenge Drake has to face. Living up to the hype. Lyrically, Drake is dope and nobody is denying that. But at this point he's been put up on such a pedestal it's probably going to be hard to meet most people's expectations. If this video were from someone you'd never heard of who wasn't getting radio spins without a deal or selling out venues across the country off the strength of a friggin mixtape, this *might* be a good look for a first video. But for Drake, it just won't cut it.

If you ask me, Kanye set Drake up on this one. I would not have signed off on this joint if I was Drake.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Video: Jay-Z "Death of Autotune"

I haven't been a big fan of this song from the jump but I must say that I enjoy the video.