NFL Picks - Week 2

And to the picture below I say, IT'S ABOUT TIME!!!! Shut up and play some football Clinton! Before Clinton Portis gets in front of a microphone he needs to do two things. The first, is call Brian Mitchell and ask "Should I open my big-azz Miami Hurricane arrogance having azz mouth?" The second is call John Riggins. He won't need to ask Riggo anything because Riggins will just say "Clinton, shut the fock up!"


Last week I got 12 picks right. If it weren't for Phillip Rivers freezing up like a popsicle in the 4th quarter and dumb-azz Dustin Keller being semi-concussed from Ray Lewis's hit and not getting that first down I'd have had 14 picks right. The only pick I really got wrong (in my crazy world) last week was the Colts pick but I'd guess that I'm in the majority on that one.

Now onto this week's picks...

Atlanta over Arizona: They're playing in Atlanta. Atlanta's defense played ok last week (yes I know it was against Dennis "how long until he comes out of the closet" Dixon) and I just don't have any confidence in the Cardinals right now. Completely random: If Adrian Peterson is Purple Jesus then what is Kurt Warner, White Messiah? WOMP WOMP WOMMMMMMP!


Baltimore over Cincy: The Ravens defense is going to play well but this will be a true test for their DBs against T-Ocho. I expect Cincinatti to play well in this game and keep it close and it wouldn't surprise me if they won but I just can't bet against Ray Lewis right now. By the way, remember this hit? Yeah, me too lol.

Kansas City over Cleveland: I'm gonna say it again, Dexter McCluster is my sleeper Rookie of the Year pick. I said it last week and I'm saying it again this week. I'm not even sure why Kansas City is an underdog in this one after beating the Chargers last week. Oh, that's right... The Chargers beat themselves with their own ineptness in the red zone (effing Phillip Rivers)! Anywho, I expect Jamal Charles and Thomas Jones to have a field day. And I also expect my boy DEXTER to have another TD either in the return game or on some sort of trick play. I'm tellin' ya'll to watch out for the speedster from Ole Miss!

Dallas over Chicago: This is going to be a shoot-out. The difference is going to be Jay Cutler throwing one or two more INTs than Tony Homo. Dallas is fluke again this year AS USUAL but I'm not so anti-CowGals that I won't pick them this week. I expect Miles Austin to have a field day. My Skins would not have beaten Dallas last week were it not for that bonehead offensive lineman but Dallas has the most inept coach in the league next to Norv Turner and the most OVER-RATED offensive coordinator in the league. Just a sidebar, Sean Payton is the best play-caller in the NFL.

Philadelphia over Detroit: GO MIKE VICK! I wanna see this guy succeed so all the idiots that still hate him because of Bad Newz Kennelz can watch him revive his career. GO! MIKE! VICK!

Green Bay over Buffalo: Too easy. Next!

Tennessee over Pittsburgh: Pittsburgh can't put up enough points on Tennessee's defense and that'll be their downfall. Pinball (Chris Johnson) is going to have one or two big plays and Vince Young should be able to play "don't fock this one up for us" just well enough for the Titans to win in a close one. It's not gonna be easy but at home I'll give Tennessee the edge. By the way, "Pinball" is an original name I came up with for Chris Johnson because he bounces around and shoots off (pause) like a pinball. If you use it please credit this blogpost. Thanks in advance.

Minnesota over Miami: Old man Favruh will return to form this game. I'm thinking 2 maybe 3 TDs and 2 of those "only Brett Favre could do that dumb shyt, get away with it, and the announcers make it seem like he's a God" plays. I also expect Purple Hey-Soos to have a big day. Brandon Marshall, who?

Carolina over Tampa Bay: If Carolina sticks to running the ball with a couple play-action shots to Steve Smith this is likely to be a blow-out. If they don't stick to running the ball, then the Bucs have a chance at winning.

Denver over Seattle: Seattle may have pummeled the 49ers last week but I refuse to believe that's the real Seattle team. If they go to Denver this week and win, I'll start believing they're not the same ole' Seahawks. And it's not that Denver is that good, it's that going to Denver and winning isn't easy.

Rams over Oakland: This is my sorta-sleeper pick. The Rams suck. The Raiders suck. This is like the SuckBowl. But I think that Sam Bradford is going to lead his team to a win. It's just a hunch I have. Or is it a hutch? I dunno, but you know what I mean.

New England over the Jets: Randy Moss gets stranded on Revis Island (Revis is the new Champ Bailey in terms of over-hyped CBs by the way), maybe has a short-yardage TD and about 70 yards. But it's not about Moss, it's about Welker. This game will be all about 3 things: 1) How much time the male model (Tom Brady) has to throw the ball, 2) How many passes Wes Welker catches, and 3) Whether or not the Jets can establish the run (because they damn sure can't rely on their male model - Mark Sanchez- to win a game). New England is probably a better coached team even though I don't like Belicheck very much and the the Snack Man may have talked so much he's got those guys thinking they're better than they really are. Like Ray Lewis said, you can talk all you want but at some point you gotta put them pads on and play football. New England by a TD.

Chargers over Jags: We all know how the Chargers roll. They're going to run off a winning streak of 6 or so games, look like a Super Bowl contender, get to the first round and depending on their matchup get smashed or squeak through to the second round and then what I call the "Law of Norv Turner" will take over. The Law of Norv Turner is that no team eVar in life, for eternity, that is coached by Norv will win a championship in any sport at any level (not even a pre-pubescent miniature golf team that is the only team in the entire pre-pubescent mini golf league). It will simply throw off the balance of human life. It'll render all women infertile, all men will grow vaginas, and Ryan Seacrest will become straight, I'm convinced. That's a bit over-the-top but my point is that Norv doesn't have what it takes to get a team over the proverbial hump. Aside from that, Shawne Merriman is off the HGH so just like last year, that defense won't be able to hold up.

Houston over MY SKINS: I love the Redskins. But not blindly like a lot of my fellow Skins fans. The facts of the matter are...1) McNabb is a good QB but he has a similar set of weapons to what he had throughout his career in Philly and he has consistent problems with his accuracy. 2) We don't have a RB with any sort of explosiveness. The only thing Larry Johnson explodes on are his women, WITH HIS FISTS. He and Portis are just guys who run to a whole, get grabbed, stumble, and go down after maybe getting 3-8 yards. There will be no consistent break-away runs by a Redskins RB this year, I guarantee that. They were hoping Willie Parker could provide that but everybody else in the world knew he was washed up, why didn't we? 4) The only safety we have that can catch an INT (Chris Horton) doesn't even start. 5) Our best CB is a pretty boy that gets lucky once every game and gets an INT or a fumble recovery. 6) We went to a 27-year old rookie WR twice on a fade pattern last week. Granted, he's got a great story but ummm yeah, 27 year old rookie on a fade pattern twice in a close game when you've got Santana Moss and Chris Cooley to throw to. And 7)... Our defense lives by the bend-but-don't break rule and it works well sometimes. But when the defense breaks, that shyt BREAKS! And for that latter reason I expect us to lose this week. Arian Foster, Andre Johnson, and Matt Schaub are going to make fantasy owners happy this week.

Giants over Indy: Sorry Peyton, last week showed me that your defense isn't up to par. Not even close. And with Bob Sanders doing his best Yao Ming impression over the last few years, I expect your defense to only get worse. Dwight Freeney can't get a sack on every play. If the Giants are smart they'll run a lot of Brandon "Anger Management" Jacobs (he doesn't seem like the douche in the club that gets drunk and wants to fight all the little guys to ya'll, I'm just saying) in the first half and even more Bradshaw in the second half. The Giants receivers are good enough to give Eli some solid shots down the field and along those lines I expect my boy Mario Manningham to get it together this week and score. I'm also curious to see if Hakeem Nicks continues to play Plaxico Burress better than Plaxico played himself.

Saints over San Fran: This game will probably be a lot closer than everybody expects it to be. I wouldn't be surprised if it was close until the 4th quarter. The 49ers just don't have enough offensive firepower to keep up with the Saints and the Niners defense is going to give the Saints some trouble and I'm rooting for my boy Patrick Willis to have a great day but that offense can't be contained for 4 quarters, not unless Drew Brees gets hurt.

A Few Thoughts on that AZZ-Teca Reporter that the Jets Couldn't Contain Themselves Around

Ladies and gentleman, meet Azteca network sports reporter, Ines Sainz.


Attractive for sure in a "she fits the generic mold of what we're socialized to believe is beauty" kind of way, lol. Shes' been pitched by her network (TV Azteca) as "The hottest sports reporter in Mexico". Maybe she is. In fact, I'd like to be on the committee that makes that decision. Why, you ask? Because this is Ines Sainz when she was at the Jet's practice...


And this is Ines Sainz in a bathing suit...


And this is Ines Sainz on the beach thinking about me...


And this is Ines Sainz practicing her watching skills for the Jet's practice...


Where I grew up we'd call that a "butt-butt", not an azz (fellas, don't let that shot on the right fool you). But I'm sure most of "mainstream" America thinks this is like the best booty on the planet. And when you've got 53 alpha males sweating it out at practice I'm sure MRS. Sainz (yes, she's married), packaged in those jeans, was a pleasurable sight.

In general I don't think it's right to sexually harass a woman (ie - touch, make lude comments, or do anything else that makes her feel intimidated) even if a woman is dressed in what could be considered *sexy* or provocative attire. Like most guys, I'll look but not much beyond that. At the same time, I do believe that women know exactly what they're wearing and how it can be interpreted by men and should act/dress accordingly. It's like Dave Chappelle once said, "She might not be a hoe, but she wearing a hoe's uniform". And a lot of guys will react to that uniform accordingly. That's NOT to say that she was dressed like a hoe because she really isn't. She's just dressed in a way that accentuates body parts that men pay attention to. You know this, I know this, and I'm sure the Jets players were pleasantly surprised to see this.

Ines knows how her butt looks in those jeans and she could have easily chosen not to wear them because of the environment she was going into. It's as simple as not wearing sexy/revealing attire when you go to church (some of ya'll scrumpets still don't have that right yet). Even if the clothing is comfortable and you don't see anything wrong with it, that doesn't mean that you aren't setting yourself up for some type of harassment. Women her age are aware of this, especially the attractive ones, I'm just saying.

For this reason, I don't think she is innocent in this situation and I'm glad that she isn't making a huge deal out of it like American media outlets have been. At the same time, she didn't deserve to be harassed either. But I didn't deserve to have my bike stole when I was in the 5th grade. In other words, shyt that you don't deserve to have happen to you can sometimes happen. And as far as the blame-game goes, I don't accept the "it's the fault of the network she works for" explanation. She has gone along with the "hottest sports reporter in Mexico" tag-line for this long so to a certain extent, she has invited this type of behavior. Men are men. We look, we make comments among one-another, and sometimes we do childish stuff to get a "hot" girls attention. It's in our nature. And it's in all of our nature to want to be around people we feel are attractive in some way (be it physical or otherwise). Who knows, Ines may have thought that wearing something like that would make her more likely to get the interview she wanted with Mark Sanchez (we all know how those USC QBs roll).

All I'm saying is that you decrease your likelihood of getting an STD if you wear a condom. And you decrease your likelihood of getting catcalls or harassed if you don't wear certain types of clothing. This is common sense and sometimes you sacrifice comfortableness or "wearing what you like" out of respect for yourself and the situation you're going into.

I don't feel sorry for her one bit even though I think what happened is wrong. Ines is going to be famous off of this and she's actually down-played the entire incident so maybe it's only certain people in the general public that care and the NFL trying to save face. Personally, I think she invited the behavior (perhaps she's this naive but I doubt it) by dressing the way she did. There are other female reporters that don't dress that way and are probably even more attractive than her.

I've never been in an NFL locker room but I can imagine that there's a TON of reckless stuff that goes unreported and that female reporters don't have it easy. But we shouldn't all do female reporters who carry themselves in a classy, mature, and professional way a disservice by feeling too bad or demanding apologies from people for a female reporter that's marketed as the "hottest reporter in Mexico" and comes to NFL practices with painted-on jeans. It's disrespectful to women that have been harassed far worse in their workplaces for no reason whatsoever.

Below you can check out Ines comments on the shytuation....

<a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/video?vid=8d7ca640-b0c2-4317-be65-db46c96a8802&amp;from=IV2_en-us_foxsports_articles" target="_new" title="Reporter reacts to controversy">Video: Reporter reacts to controversy</a>

The MOST RECKLESS Commercial on TV

I saw this the other day and laughed but thought it was a joke. I think this might actually be serious lol.
Probably makes for a great Christmas stocking stuffer ladies ;-)

Wait for it...Wait for it..

"Let's go eat a cot-damned snack!"

I just bust out laughin' watching this.

How Did I Forget to Post My NFL PIcks for the Week???

Maybe it's because there's been a shytload of stuff on my mind outside of football or because my mother and brother's birthdays were both last week and my parents anniversary is today. It's been somewhat of a whirlwind in more ways than one over the past 2 weeks.

Nevertheless, even after most of the games this week being done, I'm still posting my picks. Of course, these were made prior to any games being played.

New Orleans over Minnesota: The game was in New Orleans, they're coming off a Superbowl win, and old man Favruh has barely been there in the pre-season. Not to mention the Saints are well-coached and won't just fold if the Vikings had come out and scored on two or three straight possessions.

Miami over Buffalo: Trent Edwards is Buffalo's QB which means the other team will ALWAYS have a chance, even in Buffalo in the middle of winter with Santa Claus playing QB... The other team will ALWAYS have a chance to beat Buffalo regardless. You could make every skill player as fast and elusive as CJ Spiller and as long as Trent Edwards is at QB, the other team will ALWAYS have a chance. In a nutshell, Buffalo sucks. They need Marv Levy back.

Chicago over Detroit: I wasn't really gung-ho about the Bears in this game because it's a divisional rivalry and Cutler's good for 2 or 3 INT's at any given moment. BUT, Matthew Stafford and Megatron (see pic above) are not enough to overcome Mike Martz offense with Matt Forte.

Tennessee over Oakland: Jason Campbell might help Oakland get better but they're still *Chris Berman voice* THE RAAAIIIIDAHS!

New England over Cincy: Cincinatti is NOT FOR REAL. DO NOT BELIEVE THE HYPE THIS YEAR! Even though I wanna support him because he's a black coach, Marvin Lewis needs to be gone after this season if Cincy doesn't do really really well.

Giants over Panthers: Eli has enough weapons to put points on the board and unless DeAngelo Williams and Steve Smith score 3 TDs between them, I don't think Carolina has a chance.

Pittsburgh over Atlanta: Atlanta, much like Cincy, IS NOT FOR REAL. Pittsburgh (even with Dennis *I think he is a fruit* Dixon) at QB will play defense well enough to keep the game close and let Jeff Reed kick them to a win.

Tampa Bay over Cleveland: Flip a coin. I think I subconsciously made this pick because my brother is a Bucs fan and his birthday was last week. Outside of that, I have no real reasoning behind this pick.

Jacksonville over Denver: If I'd thought about this one again I may have picked Denver because the 10th wonder of the world slash second coming of the Messiah slash most humble person on earth (Tim Tebow) plays for Denver. But I had confidence in MJD and no confidence in Kyle Orton.

Indianapolis over Houston: If you're into stats in this division you'd know that the Texans have only beaten the Colts like 2 times in the last 16 meetings. The Colts also have Peyton Manning. This pick was a no-brainer for me, even with the game being in Houston.

Arizona over St Louis: It's St. Louis... with a rookie QB.

Green Bay over Philly: I figured this would be a gritty game and a couple big plays would make the difference. I'll take Aaron Rodgers gun-slingin' the Pack to a win.

San Fran over Seattle: This is supposed to be the year San Fran runs the division. Seattle always plays well but manages to suck just enough to not do anything in the post-season. They're an enigma if you ask me.

Washington over Dallas: I'm die-hard Skins fan. There's the explanation you were seeking. Aside from that we play at home. And EVERY EFFING YEAR the media and prognosticators sice Dallas up to be a juggernaut and what happens, EVERY EFFING YEAR... THEY BLOW IT! This year will be no different, starting in Week 1.

Jets over Ravens: I live in Bmore and even though I'm a Skins fan, I have NO PROBLEMS with the Ravens at all. I think they have the talent to win, but I just don't think they'll be able to go to NY and win this one.

San Diego over KC: SD's going to come out strong this year. Ryan Matthews and Phillip Rivers will have big games. I hope my sleeper Rookie of the Year Pick (Dexter McCluster) plays though. This kid is going to be exciting it's just too bad most people will only get to see it on Sportscenter because nobody watches Chiefs games, lol.

"I showed you your first Tech on tour with Large Professor..." - Jay-Z

I guess this is what Jay was referring to:

"Main Source soon set off on tour, along with the UMCs and Jaz. One particular night of that tour came up recently in the very public catfight between Jay-Z (then Jaz’s hypeman) and Nas (who rolled with Main Source). During a show in Washington D.C. the sound system cut out, forcing the artists to do the same. The angry crowd rushed the stage and chased the rappers back unto their tour bus.

'We were figuring we were gonna have to knuckle down,' explains LP of the incident, which Jay has used to attack Nas. 'Jay came outta nowhere, reachin’ in his gym bag like, ‘Don’t even sweat these niggas. I got that.’ He didn’t show [Nas] the gun like, ‘I’m gonna shoot you,’ but we were all just like, ‘Whew!’' (Source: XXL Mag, 2002)

Never knew the story behind this one but always wondered. If you aren't familiar with the quote, it's from "The Takeover" (which has its own wikipedia page by the way lol).

Song of the Day: Cee-Lo - F&ck You

Everyone's felt this way at some point.


Song of the year?

Miscellaneous Randomness: One of my Favorite Cosby Show Episodes

CHALLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGE!

Video: Kanye West - Power

I'm not sure if this is the full video because it's only a verse but the video is definitely on some next-level ish with the visuals.


Kanye oftentimes makes himself an easy target because he's at times arrogant, always out-spoken, and isn't afraid to be different. The latter two I don't mind so much, lol. But one thing that's consistent is that he pushes the limits of what people expect a typical rapper to be. He makes GREAT music and gives you something fresh every album in terms of his sound or his style of rapping. He makes the best videos of any rapper, perhaps ever.

This video doesn't fit the lyrics of the song necessarily but if you understand the point he's making in the song and you understand what the visuals in the video represent you can see that Kanye's trying to tell you something a little deeper than just what the words mean. It's a dope video and I'm sure it'll be controversial or at least cause lots of discussion in hip-pop circles (yes, I wrote "hip-pop").

There's also an uncensored version on vimeo that's definitely not safe for work, lol.

3 Songs by, and 3 Thoughts on Rick James

Thought: I never really appreciated Rick James's music until after Dave Chappelle made him relevant for my generation. I had heard some of his music, but I didn't really appreciate it. And at the age I was when I used to hear it I probably wasn't prepared to understand it anyway, just understand that my parents got enjoyment out of it. I can vaguely remember the vinyl Rick James record my parent's had back when I was like 6 or 7. The only reason it stood out to me was because I didn't understand why a person that appeared to be a man had such long hair, lol. But after Dave Chappelle brought Rick James back into the spotlight (and in hindsight I'm not so sure the popularity of those Rick James skits really helped Rick's image) I took some time to go back and listen to some of his music. And what I found out is that Rick James made some timeless songs. Not all of his songs but definitely some of them.

Video: Super Freak

We've all heard this one and it's definitely a classic. But think about how popular "Can't Touch This" was/is. It's all because of this.



I am not sure why this bama had all the glitter going on his face and hair but I guess that was "the look" back then. Sort of like kids nowadays wearing jeans that lower your sperm count because they squeeze your nuts too tight and Black girls wanting to be hayajimmymatsuh Barbie dolls of all things. Somehow, I don't think that's what Madame C.J. Walker had in mind when she was on her way to becoming the first Black female billionaire beauty supplier.

Thought: It's a shame that people in my generation will probably remember Rick James more for Dave Chappelle's parodies, his drug habit(s), and his obnoxiousness more so than his music. Anyone that doesn't know more about Rick James and his music other than was was parodied on the Chappelle show should be directed here.

Video: Mary Jane



LMAO at "gimme some ganja" at the beginning.

Thought: Drugged-out musicians have made some of the best music for years. From Bob Marley to Kurt Cobain to Rick James to Jimi Hendrix to whomever else was coked-up, weeded-up, drunkied-up or otherwise high when they made some of their greatest music. And even though I'm not a Lil Wayne stan as much as I'm a Kanye/Drake/Jay-Z stan I have to admit that Wayne's syrup-sippin curmudgeon/martin azz makes some solid music and I'm sure he's high off way more than just life. I'm convinced that no one sober can make a song like "I Feel Like Dying" or half of those auto-tuned joints he made. And speaking of auto-tune I don't Kanye into the "artists that made music high" category because he's high off his opinion of himself and his music, not a true drug, lol.

Video: Give It To Me Baby

This is probably my favorite Rick James song of them all just because all dudes have gone through this at some point or another, lol. Oh yeah, if the line "gimme that stuff that funk that sweet that funky stuff" sounds familiar, it's because Jay-Z "borrowed" it, albeit in a slightly altered version.