"I'd like to introduce you to the newest member of our family..."

I just saw this for the first time over the weekend and completely DIED laughing. This might not be funny to you (yet) so just in case let me tell you why this is friggin' hilarious!!!

1. This bama was super excited to send his mom and dad a video message about his new dog. That in-and-of itself is hilarious to me because he was truly siced about it (watch how he says "this is Jerryyyyyy!").
2. The dog goes on him right as he's saying "he's a really good boy".
3. Watch how his facial expression looks RIGHT BEFORE he starts spitting the pee out of his mouth.
4. Look at how he shakes his head while spitting.
5. This bama DROPPED THE DAGGON DOG! LMMFAO!!!!!!!
6. "OH MY GOD...OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOD!

That is all.

Weekly Football Picks - Week 12

It's Turducken week in the NFL so you know what that means. Wack-azz Detroit Lions and punk-azz CowGirls get the Thursday games. This year we've got (thankfully) the Giants against the Broncos which might actually turn out to be a decent game. Why is it that the Lions and CowGirls get all the Thanksgiving games anyway? One team is never a contender and the other is a contender that won't make it past the first round of the play-offs regardless. Wouldn't it make more sense to put the Patriots and Colts on Thanksgiving from here on out? Think about it, Roger.

This week I'm changing my name to the super boring and completely unoriginal "Turkey Week". Get over it and check out my picks.

Green Bay over Detroit. Seriously, it's Detroit. Aaron Rodgers throws for 300+ in this one by the end of the 3rd quarter.

Dallas over Oakland. Dallas is wack but I don't think they'll lose this one at home. This is a statement game for them. They need to pulverize the Raiders at home just to prove that they don't suck as much as I know they do and everyone else has started to think they do after the last two weeks.

Giants over Denver. Denver was exposed in the loss to the Ravens. Since then, everyone has them dialed in and is not having a problem stopping them. I don't see that changing this week. I see a lot of Denver's QB (Orton or Simms) being hurried into quick throws or sacked.

Atlanta over Tampa. If this game were in Tampa I might have picked the Bucs. Atlanta plays well at home and if Michael Turner is back in the line-up I think this will be an easy win.

Miami over Buffalo. T-Ho looked good last week but that's not a performance I'm expecting to start becoming a regular occurrence. Actually, I don't even expect a performance half as good as that to become regular. Miami has a solid defense for the most part and I don't think Buffalo will be able to stop Ricky Williams. It's a divisional game so you never know but I'm going to go with the Dolphins.

Cincinnati over Cleveland. The Browns lost to Detroit last week. The Bengals have swept the Ravens and Steelers this year and lost to Oakland, Houston, and Denver (all 3 of which would beat the brakes off Cleveland, well maybe not Oakland). If the Bengals lose this game then they are who I thought they were at the beginning of this season (word to Dennis Green). Sad part is that the Bengals are going to win the division and then pull a CowGirls and get ousted in the first round of the play-offs.

Seattle over St. Louis. I really want to pick the Rams in this one. They got blown out by Seattle in Week 1 and I'm sure they want some revenge. But it's the d@mn Rams, lol. I just don't believe that they can actually stop Seattle's mediocre offense. I'm expecting T.J. Houshyamama to have a big game this week. Hopefully Justin Forsett/Julius Jones does also because I'm starting at least one of them on my fantasy squad this week.

Jets over Carolina. I'm going to be pissed when the Panthers beat the Jets. Watch! Yes, I know what I just typed.

Philly over Washington. Redskins beat Philly...In Philly? This year? Yeah right. DeSean Jackson FTW!

Indianapolis over Houston. Divisional trap game for Indy but I'm not betting against Peyton.

San Diego over Kansas City. I don't care if Kansas City won last week. This is part of that mid-season winning streak San Diego needs to pull-off before they lose to the CowGirls in two weeks and squeak into the play-offs like they usually do. Norv Turner FTSwindle!

Jacksonville over San Francisco. I wasn't really sure who to pick in this one so I went with MJD.

Arizona over Tennessee. Just in case you haven't noticed, Arizona is undefeated on the road this year. That includes wins at Jacksonville, NYG, Seattle, Chicago, and St. Louis. Also, take a look at who Tennessee has beaten on their streak. Soooooo, if Kurt plays and is actually healthy, I think Arizona wins. BUT, if Kurt doesn't play, I will be changing my pick to Tennessee on Sunday morning. Chris Johnson can't be stopped, only contained. If the Cardinals can put points on the board and contain CJ, they'll be okay. But they won't be able to put points on the board if pretty/party boy Matt Leinart is behind center.

Minnesota over Chicago. Minnesota only loses one game for the rest of the regular season and you better believe that THIS GAME is NOT it.

Ravens over Steelers. No Polamalu. No win. Ravens beating the Steelers at home is almost as good as the Ravens winning the Superbowl. Seriously, I live in Baltimore and I used to live in the D.C. area so I know about a average team having false-hope and treating a divisional win like it's the Superbowl. Hold up, I just admitted that, SHYT!

New England over Saints. Sorry boys, the undefeated streak ends here. Brady and them will make a strong statement this week.

My Latest Pair

My latest pair of shoes is a step outside of the normal type of shoe I wear. My homie Apuje broke me off with a discount code for Creative Reaction so I figured I'd look on their website and see anything that I liked. As Laf can vouch for on my behalf, I have a thing for shoes with red and black in them (red is my favorite color). So as nature would have it, of all the shoes on the Creative Reaction website, I found a pair that I liked that are black, with red outlines. Go figure.

Here's a picture of 'em. I'm betting that the reaction (get it, reaction as in "Creative Reaction". Yes, I'm that corny) to these will be split completely down the middle. Or completely negative, lol.


I actually think they look kinda bland in the first pic but with some jeans I think they'll come off more stylish since a good part of the shoe will be covered up.

Flashback Friday

If you grew up in the DMV in the early/mid 90s and you went roller skating, you probably love this song! There's no way you didn't hear this at least once per night at the old Crystal skate.

This just took me back. Ok, I'm done.

Weekly Football Picks - Week 11

I'm back in first place by a point after last weeks picks. I have a bad feeling about this week because there are a lot of games that could go either way. In other words, I feel another bad week coming on. I think there will be some weird stuff going on this week and some surprise wins.

I've changed my team name this week to "Dick Jaur-GONE" as a dedication to the FORMER Buffalo Bills coach, Dick Jauron.

My picks...

Carolina over Miami. Carolina's been playing much better lately. The obviously have lots of talent on offense and more than enough talent there to score on the Dolphins. This game is in Carolina and Ronnie Brown is hurt so Miami's wildcat/pistol might not be as threatening as it would be if he were in there. I'm going with Carolina because Brown's out and they're playing at home after playing well the last couple of weeks.

Dallas over Washington. Dallas looked horrible last week. Washington looked better than they have all year. This game is in Dallas but home-field advantage doesn't mean anything in this rivalry. I'm not picking the Skins even though we won last week and I want them to win this game. I just don't believe they have it in them to go to Dallas and take this game. Sorry guys, I hope you win but I don't think you will.

Detroit over Cleveland. I don't know why. I guess I should pick Cleveland in an attempt to protect my lead since most people will probably pick Cleveland. Mehhh, we'll see. I might change this pick before Sunday, who knows.

Green Bay over San Francisco. Even though I think last week says more about Dallas than it does about the Packers, I don't think the 49ers are going to make the trip to Green Bay and deal with the "elements" well. Green Bay is used to playing in the cold/snowy/dreadful weather. If this game is played in inclement weather, Green Bay takes it. If it's played in fair weather, San Francisco keeps it close but loses late.

Pittsburgh over Kansas City. Do I really need to justify this?

Minnesota over Seattle. Seattle STINKS. I've said it one million and one times now.

Giants over Falcons. Eli's not 100% but Atlanta isn't consistent enough to beat them in NYC. And if Michael Turner's out I see the Giants D-Line having a HUGE day getting at Matt Ryan since Aaron Snelling and Jerious Norwood don't present much of a threat.

New Orleans over Tampa Bay. This is a trap game for the Saints because Tampa's a divisional foe. I wouldn't be surprised to see Tampa go up by a couple TDs early and then fall apart at the end and let Drew Brees slice them like a Thanksgiving Turkey.

Jags over Bills. The Jags are building momentum and the Bills STINK and have a brand new coach this week. Do I smell a blow-out? MJD FTW!

Baltimore over Indianapolis. Baltimore will come be ready to play crack some heads this game. Losing Suggs on defense hurts though, especially when you're trying to throw Peyton off. The Ravens have already ended one team's unbeaten streak this year (DEN) and this will be tougher, but it'll be the second winning streak they end. Sorry Peyton.

Arizona over St. Louis. Kurt Warner returns to St. Louis with a healthy Anquan Boldin, and with Fitz and Breaston to go along with him... I see a lot of points being scored. Beanie Wells might get a few TDs this game as well but Stephen Jackson will get his yards for all the fantasy owners.

San Diego over Denver. The Chargers are playing with a lot of confidence right now and they've built up some of that typical mid-season momentum they tend to have in their run to a first-round play-off loss. Denver is on the down-swing and Kyle Orton is hurt. This might actually be a blow-out if Denver gives up a couple easy TDs early.

Cincinnati over Oakland. The Bengals are for real. Oakland is FTLAWSE.

New England over NYJ. The Brady Bunch will not lose twice to the Jets this year. I wonder if Rex Ryan is going to leave messages for the Pats fans asking them to stay home this game since he left messages for Jets fans asking them to show up to the first NE/Jets match-up this year. Oh yeah, Randy Moss has something to prove when it comes to Derrelle Revis. Watch that match-up.

Philly over Chicago. Even without Brian Westbrook the Eagles and their blitzes should be able to beat Jay Cutler and the inconsistent Bears.

Titans over Texans. Tennessee is building up the same type of momentum that San Diego is. After starting the season horribly, they seem to be getting it together thanks to Chris Johnson and (ahem) Vince Young. The Texans can't stop CJ.

Weekly Football Picks - Week 10

I'm back on track now. One point out of first place after only getting 3 picks wrong last week. I feel my momentum picking back up now. Team name this week...

"ClintonTortoise"

If you can't figure out why, oh well. Dude's been running like one all year.

*DISCLAIMER: There's a Thursday night game this week so my picks are subject to change between Friday and Sunday depending on what side of the bed I wake up on.

San Francisco over Chicago. I'll take San Francisco at home in this one. Chicago isn't consistent and neither is San Fran but I think the 49ers will be more motivated in this one. By the way, will anybody actually be watching this game? Is this on the NFL Network and if so does that come with the standard Comcast package? It would be nice to have football on in the background while I do some work but I don't even know if I'll have access to the NFL's shiddy channel.

Tennessee over Buffalo. Tennessee seems to be clicking a little better with Vince Young at the helm. Yeah, the same Vince Young most people had given up on. I see you, HI HATER!

Saints over Rams. The Saints might score 100 points. This is going to be a good game for Mr. Kardashian.

Miami over Tampa Bay. Tampa got their first win last week but this will not be win #2. Miami is the best NFL team in Florida.

Vikings over Detroit. Adrian Peterson rushes for 200+ in this one. They might as well rest old man Favruh for this one. Detroit couldn't beat Suitland's varsity squad this year. Which is saying this...The REDSKINS couldn't beat Suitland's varsity squad OR the Lions. Embarrassing!

Jets over Jags. I think the Jets defense will find a way to hold MJD to a manageable amount of yardage this week. The Jets need this win.

Pittsburgh over Cincinnati. After beating the Broncos in Denver how can you pick against the Steelers at home in a divisional game that they NEED to win? The Bengals could be undefeated right now and I still wouldn't beat against Tomlin, Ben, and Hines.

Denver over Washington. Denver in a rout over my Skins. I bet Knowshon gets his first 100+ yard game. If Jason Campbell can't throw TDs against weak corners, what's he gonna do with Denver's corners? Clusterfock!

Carolina over Atlanta. This is my upset special this week. Carolina proved last week that they still have something left in the tank. This is prime game for Atlanta to get caught slippin' in. If DeAngelo and Jonathan get going, it is a WRAP for Atlanta.

Kansas City over Oakland. Come on, did you really think I would pick the Raiders? If you think about it Larry Johnson should be signed by the Raiders just off of the strength (or lack thereof) of his character. Or maybe so Tom Cable can smack him around like he does his assistant coaches.

Dallas over Green Bay. I hate to say it, but the Cowboys look half-decent. I still don't believe they'll make it past the first round of the play-offs but they look good, I'll give them credit. This just in...Tony Romo is the QB equivalent of Norv Turner as a head coach. No team will ever win a championship with Romo at QB or Norv as head coach. Isn't that right LaDanian?

Arizona over Seattle. The Cardinals are iffy in games like this but I can't stand Seattle so eff it. I am rooting for my man Larry Fitzgerald in this one.

San Diego over Philly. Remember what happened to the Eagles the last time they went to the West Coast this year? They played HORRIBLY against the Raiders. I feel another one coming on and this time against a much better team than the Raiders. San Diego in a close one.

New England over Indy. Indy's secondary injuries will be brought to the forefront this week. Unless Dwight Freeney is in the backfield EVERY time Brady drops back, I think the Pats will pull out the win in Indy. Yes, I'm betting against Peyton. I don't want to but I have a gut feeling on this one. This is a statement game for the Bradicheck Bunch.

Baltimore over Cleveland. No way Baltimore loses this game. Period.

DRO!

You already know...


The way they did this video with everything looking like an animated oil painting is pretty slick.

Weekly Football Picks - Week 9

After a not-so-bad week last week I'm now in 3rd place (down by two points from the leader). I'm changing my team name to "Team No Name" this week because I'm not feeling very creative with the naming this week. My picks are below.

Atlanta over my Redskins. At Atlanta there's no way I could pick us in this game. Not to mention all the drama/hoopla surrounding the Skins right now.

Arizona over Chicago. I didn't want to pick Arizona but I think this is a winnable game for them. Which Jay Cutler you'll get is a toss-up. Which Kurt Warner you'll get is a toss-up. I'm gonna go with my gut and take Arizona based on how they played against the Giants. The loss to Carolina was a day when everything possible went bad for Kurt Warner so I'll bet that it won't be that bad again.

Baltimore over Cincinnati. I don't think the Ravens will lose this game after having lost to the Bengals once already. I do think it's funny that Ocho Cinco sent some Ravens players deodorant because "that's the only thing that can cover" him, LOL.

Indy over Houston. I don't really believe in the Texans but the Colts secondary is depleted by injuries. This is a prime opportunity for Houston to step up. But in the end, how can you pick against Peyton Manning at home against the Texan's defense?

New England over Miami. Miami won't win this game IN New England.

Green Bay over Tampa Bay. After losing to Brett Favruh, the Packers will rebound well against the Bucs.

Jacksonville over Kansas City. MJD much? Sidebar: I think it's probably appropriate that the Chiefs fans have petitioned to keep Larry Johnson from breaking the Chiefs rushing record. He's an azzhole.

Saints over Panthers. It'll be closer than people think through a half or maybe even through 3 quarters. After that, it's a wrap!

Seattle over Detroit. I can't stand the Seahawks but Detroit just doesn't have a good enough team to beat Hasselback and his crew of mediocre talent. What does that say about Detroit's talent?

Chargers over Giants. Eli has not been the same since his foot injury. The Chargers have a good enough secondary to risk blitzing Eli to confuse him and force him to make some errant throws. Phillip Rivers is a solid enough QB to take advantage of the Giants poor safety play. Vincent Jackson has a big day.

49ers over Tennessee. *yawn*. But I can only imagine the pain Patrick Willis is going to inflict in this game.

Philly over Dallas. Dallas typically looks good for a few weeks and then loses a game like this against a team that's solid. All the coverage is going to get rolled to DeSean Jackson so I expect Jeremy Maclin to have a big day. Jackson is such a beast though he still may get his yards and a TD. And Philly's at home too so that might mean a just a little lol.

Pittsburgh over Denver. This was the toughest pick to make this week. The weather doesn't really matter because Pittsburgh is used to playing in cold weather. Denver's defense is playing well and I think they will play well in this game. But containing Ben is not an easy thing to do and Hines and Santonio are pretty crafty and reliable. Not to mention as far as QBs go, Kyle Orton can't takeover a game like Ben. This is going to be a close one but in the end I think the difference will be Big Ben's ability to lead his team and takeover a game.

Scrumpets everywhere will be taking their little girls to see Plies

It appears that Algernod has some sort of conscience when it comes to the potential impact of his music. He gave some young girl a stack to leave his concert (1:45 in the video below). He should have given her mother an all expenses paid trip to a social worker. I give him props for this but maybe this will make him think a bit more about the content of his songs. Then again, it probably wont!


It's a pretty nice segue into "Becky", is it not?

By the way, what the frick is an Algernod? I guess calling yourself a "goon" is fitting when your gubment name is "Algernod". I'll assume this is an older family member's name that was passed along to him.