BLACK MEN LISTEN UP!

Fellas, below is an email I received while taking part in a discussion about the relationship between black men and black women and black fathers taking care of their children. The lesson that should be gathered from this is APPLICABLE to ALL MEN!

The names have been substituted with Andrea (the daughter/baby) and Donald (father) to protect the innocent identities of those mentioned in the story. This is NOT a chain email I got from someone! This is an excerpt from an email received by me on Aug. 27, 2006 and it's 100% real. PLEASE READ.

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As a single mother I deal with this issue [a father not taking care of his child] on a regular basis and I thank you for bringing this up. It means a lot coming from a person who really doesn’t have to "put this on the things to think about list". I say that cause you don’t have any children. So kudos to you!

But at anyrate – I have a little one named Andrea – she’s very bright, articulate and insightful for a 6 year old. Well, with that being said, about 2 moths ago she was brushing her teeth and getting ready to start a new day at swim camp and she says to me:

”Mommy, can I have new parents?”

and of course I’m like what? So she says it again

“Mom, can I have a new parent (singular)?”

so I asked her why and she said “well, what I really want is a new Dad." Seconds later, my heart sinks so low that it feels like there is ton of bricks on it.

Well, Andrea being the insightful child she is senses and sees the pain in my face, so I try to crack a smile to reassure her and I say, well, Andrea, you have a Dad, Donald. She says

“I know, but he doesn’t call me, or see me, he doesn’t even pick me up from school or nothing and he doesn’t take me anywhere. So I wished for a new Dad at my birthday party” (her father was there – unbelievable right?)

Of course, I’m dumbfounded, so she asks me:

“Mommy, do wishes come true? Cause I don’t have a new Daddy yet”

So I tell her Andrea, you’re a blessed little girl because you have 3 uncles, and 2 Grand Pops! And she says I know that already Mommy, but I don’t have a Daddy? He’s not here.

This true and sad reality is a problem in the black community – the issue of the absent father.

My daugther’s father takes good care of her financially (which he was forced to do) but he isn’t there emotionally, physically, spiritually and collectively...and at the tender age of six she knows this and is probably adapting better to this cold reality than I am.

She knows that there is a void, she has brought it to my attention and his. And she at the “tender” age of SIX is holding a 31 year-old MAN accountable. She calls him on it every time she sees him, speaks with him and talks about him. I’m so proud that she is dealing with this and speaking truth to the both of us – it speaks volumes of her strength and character and also lets me know that she knows right from wrong.

She knows that HE should be there for her. She recogonizes it and you know what, she told me. She said

"Mommy, we’re gonna pray for Daddy, that he will be good and be a good Daddy"

and she at this moment is content with her uncles and her Pop-Pop’s. She is no longer wishing for a new Dad...except, praying for the one that made her to do better.

And that for right now is how WE (Andrea and I) deal cause I don’t want her wishing for something that at this point, I may not be able to give her unless I get married, etc...

So we’ve agreed that we would pray for her real father to do better – which works for our belief system.

And for right now we’re ok. Yes, its hard. Because I know I made bad choices as a mother by getting pregnant by a DEADBEAT. And I’ll tell you most GROWN AZZ women won’t keep it real and admit that THEY (WE) made a bad choice in a mate and father for our unborn children.

I knew a long time ago that he wasn’t going to do right by us (but my vision and thinking was clouded) but underneath it all I knew. I knew it would turn out like this and I would raise her alone. But even at the age of 21 when I had her. I was ignorant of my wrong doings. I was selfish. I was only thinking about my needs and not the needs of my child.

I’ll keep it even real-er with you and let you know that I used to beat myself up on a daily basis because I CHOSE (chose is the keyword) to have a child by a person that I knew was not equipped to handle being a father.

AND MOST black women know this before they even lay down with a guy and they do it anyway (I WILL ARGUE THAT TRUTH with ANYBODY anyday and I'll win - bring it on...LOL).

But I don’t beat myself up anymore. I’ve dealt with it and I’m trying to move on. NEXT TIME, I KNOW BETTER.

Keeping it Real – even if it hurts...
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MySpace Redirect: D@mn Mike! Didn't take you long to go back on your word...

Many of you have probably already read my feelings and experience with myspace. If not, CATCH-UP:

1. myspace.com

2. Can't Say I Didn't Try

Well now, I gotta admit that a friend of mine convinced/coerced me last night into putting up a myspace page. I won't say she dragged me to my computer to go through this process, but she definitely encouraged the hell out of me to go through with it so I could join her network of eFriends.

Well, I did it! Daneger, JAC, Tiff, all of you guys are gonna clown me for this...But I went ahead and created a myspace page:

http://www.myspace.com/mcarroll4716

Naturally, because of numbers 1 and 2 above, I kept my page on some real low-budget type ish. Not to mention in my about me section I use the same verse that's on THIS PAGE your reading right now. AND I basically point people to THIS PAGE...So it's really not a myspace page in the typical way you'll see them. This is more like a "myspace redirect".

But maybe some people will find me on myspace and end up here. That's how I envision this thing working. Do you guys think that's realistic?

Girl, my love will have you floating on air...LITERALLY

"A young Dutch architect has created a floating bed which hovers above the ground through magnetic force and comes with a price tag of 1.2 million euros ($1.54 million)."

I don't know about you guys, but I grew up sleeping on a bunk bed (on the top). And I had issues with falling out of that joint. So I don't know if this is really something that entices me. It looks cool, but I dunno if I want to hover in the air all night. Not to mention what might happen if the magnetic field that keeps the bed hovered somehow disappears in the middle of the night.

Got REEFA?

This joint is FIRE! Is it me or does she look like a slimmer Missy Elliot? Song's FIRE though! As usual, Luda murks his guest spot on the track. "GOT REEFA!" Now THAT'S funny!

Flavor of Love Coon!

After reading this blogpost, I was inspired to write a post about last night's Flavor of Love 2 episode. And I know some of you are probably thinking "it's not that serious, it's just TV".

Yeah, the same TV that has you wanting a lil scruffy dog to throw in your Fendi bag and carry around. Or perhaps has you wanting to work out so you can look like Beyonce. Or perhaps, the same TV that has you wishing deep-down you could buy that new 2007 Escalade. The same TV that has ME walking around reciting GANGSTA rap lyrics all day when I am far from being a gangsta (the shoe fits, so I'll wear it).

I agree with the Coon Picnic statement in that blogpost linked to above. That nas song is definitely applicable. "Let's give it up for the coons/On UPN 9 and WB who yes mass on TV". Add VH1 to the list. And add just about each one of those wild a$$ girls from that episode last night. What makes me feel good is that I sent a text message to BHill when the show was about 20 minutes in and told him I was gonna go with Beautiful (I'm using proper spelling, unlike Flav) and Eyez. Turns out Eyez was a mole and it (so far) appears that Beautiful at least respects herself enough not to jump out there and give Flaz sex like Tyson would do just to get "ahead". So I picked one girl was there just to spy for her friend's benefit and another who seems like she might have some sense. Mom, you'd be proud of me.

Before I rant, don't get me wrong! I think the show is VERY entertaining. But at the same time, I think it is embarassing for black folks. And I am not even talking about Flav (yet). People of other races *may* watch this and get the wrong idea about black women. Spunkee's instigating everything, "Something" is just nasty (the girl shat herself...on TV), numerous girls on there are not only wearing a ho's uniform, but speaking a ho's language...I could go on. But the worst part of the show is that it makes black women look like unintelligent, "loose", money/fame chasing NI99ERettes!

And Buckwild is just trying too d@mn hard to be whatever it is she thinks "black" is. Like Puff said to the girl in that making the band episode, "I don't try and talk like a white girl, you shouldn't talk like a white guy. BE YOU!"

The second worst part of it all is that the guise of this whole thing is that these girls want THIS DUDE!



No offense to Flav because beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder, but come the F*CK on ladies! We're NOT as dumb as YOU LOOK on the show. Is it the so-called fame from being a reality show TV star that has you frontin' like this? Are you actresses? Or does the "hood" fame Hoopz attained from the last season really make you think you're gonna blow up after competing for the affection of a man with 5+ kids already?

Again, I think the show is funny/entertaining and I can separate the images I see from the REAL BLACK WOMEN I KNOW in REAL life (not reality TV). But can the rest of the people watching this show do that? I don't know, but that is the friggin question! If you think about how this show can affect the way people look at you in REAL LIFE, then maybe you'll feel the same way I do, torn between entertainment and reality. Shot out to hip-hop!

To sum it all up, The Flavor of Love is entertainingly WACK!

WHY WHY WHY do I like these songs???

...Really enjoy hearing them though!! LMAO!

I'm embarrased to admit it, but I like these joints. D@mn! The "machine" might have your boy programmed...D@mmit!!

Jagged Edge - Stunnas...I don't wear sunglasses often (unless my nerd a$$ transition lenses count) and I can't stand when bamas wear their shades in the club. But I like this joint. I think the dance the girls do at the end siced me. Not to mention it's a very friendly beat (so to speak). Matter of fact, the only actual lyrics I pay attention to is the chorus. Woo, your boy Diddy's in this joint. I know YOU LOVE IT! LMAO!



Daz - Real Shyt: Another fruity/friendly beat, but d@mn if I'm not feeling this joint. RAWWWWS (read "Ross!")!!



I guess these are those songs that I would enjoy hearing in the club. So when I hear them at home it makes me think of partying and it gets me pumped. I don't actually hear anything when I listen to these other than the choruses and Rick Ross verse on the Daz joint. I'm just glad that I am not one of those people who will take songs like this and take them to mean that an album is gonna be worth coppin'! No boy!

On another note, I got Young Dro's Gangsta Grill on the way and man oh man am I anxious to hear this joint..."Don't nobody live wit my ma but a bunch of junkies!"

Bored thoughts

I am pretty bored today, sitting in my room listening to some mixtape stuff and I hear the song, "Bad Bytch" by Webbie. This song was fairly popular for a hot second last year. But that's beside my point. I remember Webbie having a unibrow. This got me thinking whether or not this is currently acceptable (to rock the unibrow rather than shave that shyt off)???



But I do remember one crooner from the late 80's rocked a unibrow and the ladies were not complaining. Now I must admit that I WAS a fan of this dude even though I was very young back then ("Imma 80s bab...I from the dirty we can dance, Patrick Swayze baby!" - Weezie F-ing Baby). Anyway, this dude successfully rocked the unibrow. Al B Sure.



But light-skinndeded brothas was supposedly "in" at that time (this is the dumbest thing I've heard and I am mad I even mentioned this dumb shyt) and maybe he got a pass on the unibrow. Nowadays light-skinned brothas are supposedly not "in" anymore (yeah RIGHT ladies!) so would that unibrow still be acceptable even if Al B Sure or some other "hot" guy rocked it?

Will the unibrow ever be "cool"? Dare I say it's *acceptable* right now? I think most people would still shape it up though (LOL). Webbie's unknowing attempt at giving the unibrow street credibility and hip-hop acceptability was probably not a direct goal he had. But weird people like me think about these types of random things...and wonder...

Ayo, I got some BROWN on my WHITE

Okay, this morning I woke up a little late due to Jazzy Summer Nights downtown in Bmore last night and also hanging out at GoodLove Bar. So I get up, decide what to wear while in the shower (this is becoming QUITE normal for me), and get dressed. On my way to work, I stopped at Starbucks for my Grande Caramel Machiato (does this make me Teh gay?). So I get to my job and I finally find a decent parking space, and when I get out of the car, what happens?

I hit my foot on the curb, scuff my shoe, AND spill two splashes of coffee on my all-white, linen-esque (ya'll like that one), DKNY metrosexual (urban buzz word, people seem to like those. i.e. - hipster, corner boy, etc.) jump-off. To state it plainly, MY SHIRT!



So I gotta dedicate the rest of this post to the Dipset movie in which CamRon got some "'red' on his 'pink'."

"Yo, I got some BROWN on my WHITE! Imma call B, see why he blow the whistle so much. He blow the whistle so much, that's prolly why I got this f*cking brown on my white!"

Miscellaneous Randomness

TIP to co-star alongside DANZEL!

"Triple-black Phantom and I'm not even TIP"



"Atlanta rapper T.I. is hard at work on his second film, 'American Gangster,' which pits him alongside Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe."

This is a VERY good look for T-I-P. He is also working on his own production company AND his next album, "TI vs TIP". If the album is anything like the song he did on his 2nd CD (or was it the first) - it was either I'm Serious or Trap Muzik - then this album will probably be dope. Oh yeah, got those two CDs, real TIP fan here, that's why I've been so critical...

CUBA: What will life be like after Fidel Castro?

1. Will the U.S. trade with Cuba?

2. Who will become president dictator? Will Raul really replace his brother?

3. Will Cubans still flee the country for "freedom"? Or will alot of the Cubans who are here return home? Please stay ladies! PLEASE!

4. Will the build that bridge between Key West and Cuba (90-mile bridge that is)?

5. What will the U.S. government do if there is a mass-exodus of Cubans back to Cuba?

By the way, am I the ONLY person who sees quite a bit of irony in that the Cubans fleed to get here for *freedom* and now that Castro *MAY* be dying, they're going to flee back home? Not to mention the U.S. government tries to keep them from coming here and now they're talking about not letting them all flee BACK HOME...???...??? WTF

"CRACK MUSIC NI99A! That real BLACK MUSIC NIGGA..."

Rise in hip-hop record sales paralleled by a rise in baking soda??? (Courtesy of ohword.com)



FYI - Baking soda is one of the ingredients used to make CRACK!

Click on the chart below and take a look at the year 2000



Crack Music - Kanye West (featuring GAME)...There IS A MESSAGE behind the music!!!

"How we stop the black Panthers/
Ronald Reagan cooked up an answer/

Ever wondered how to eat a watermelon?

Well let Petey Greene tell ya! Shot out to Dane for this one...LMAO!



Now, I know I shouldn't laugh...But d@mn if that ain't funny! I don't know if it's supposed to have been a serious show or a comical show, but this dude is HILARIOUS! CLASSIC!