$7 Colon Cleaner....

Last night a few friends and I went out to our normal Tuesday night spot for burgers...Koopers Tavern in Fells Point, Balt. Unfortunately, it was a $5 cover charge for the Mardi Gras festivities they were having. So we ended up going to another bar named Kislings a few blocks away.

Koopers is more of a pub type of spot. You go in there and you expect someone to just hand you a Guinness off the break. Well, Kislings is slightly different. It has that diner feel to it with a bar on one side of the room and diner-style seating against the wall on the other side of the room.

My buddy Ravi told us all on the way over there that Kislings has "really good wings". Now me, not being a wingman in any sense of the word kinda ignored it thinking that maybe I would end up getting something else off the menu. So we get in there and get seated and we all end up ordering wings. Some original flavor, some Jerk and papaya, and my dumb a$$ got the hot wings.

In retrospect, it was a pretty dumb decision. Consider the following: 1) I don't eat buffalo wings regularly and rarely have a taste for them, 2) I NEVER get the wings labeled "hot" anywhere, and 3) I'm around a bunch of guys who will clown me for not eating all my wings (I knew this before I ordered).

So I get the 10 hot wings in front of me and they look SCRUMPTIOUS...



But after biting into the first one I knew there was a pretty good chance I would not make it through all TEN! But I got all these guys looking at me asking me if they're hot or not...Do you think you can make it through all ten. Here I go, stupidly: "Nah, they not that bad! Hell yeah Imma eat all ten!" And a that point people, the gauntlet was laid down. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

So around wing #5 I am really starting to get concerned about the burning sensation in my lips. I had the waitress keep the Rolling Rocks coming regularly and I had to learn to ration my celery and blue cheese dip so I could hopefully make it through.

I made it to wing 10 with my lips on FIRE and of course the last wing would be drenched completely in the hot sauce. By this time everyone else was done with their wings and I was the main attraction. So I scarfed down the last wing and about 5 minutes thereafter made a quick trip to the bathroom. NO! Not to "call Earl" but to wash my hands and wipe the sweat off my brow. LOL.

So today, after having felt the *repercussions* of eating such a set of wings (let's just call the repercussions an earthquake with several aftershocks), I am convinced that those wings are the $7 version of a colonic! No doubt in my mind. They have to be what doctors recommend for people who are too cheap to pay for the full colonic.

Overall though, it was a great night and I had a good time. But I learned my lesson with those daggon wings!