I have a secret to share with you all. I heart the hell out of Chipotle. I can get a chicken burrito bol (In case you have't already read my idea for using StarBucks to help lower the murda rate in urban areas, now might be the time because this is an extenstion of that idea. Perhaps I should have called this post, "Chicken Burrito with a Macchiato on the Side". Much like a caramel macchiato or skim latté, you do not see "thugs", "hoodlums", or even gangsta cornchips strolling the streets with a Chipotle bag or a burrito in their hands.
It would be rather difficult to sling rocks or shoot someone while manning up on a Chipotle burrito. Everybody knows you need two hands unless you're Shaq, Greg Oden, or some other mutation of a human being. No offense to the aforementioned basketball players. Aside from the size hindering your ability to grab that 9mm and let off shots, the taste of a Chipotle burrito would turn that gangsta grizzile into a smile because it's oh-so delicious! There's no way Lil Mook, Knee Brace, Lil Defibrillator, Teflon Sean , or Lil Acid Rain could maintain an ice grill while enjoying such a delightful concoction of rice, beans, and meat. Don't even get me started on how much of an impact the chips and salsa could have. Mandatory double-hand action on that shyt! 
I say all this to say, if you live in an urban area and you are not afraid to go where the hipsters or college students hang out, find your nearest thug-in-training and drag them with you to Chipotle and then StarBucks. You can even do it in reverse order if you're feeling funky. It doesn't make a difference. Just know that we can try to lower the crime rate by violating civil liberties or we can lower the crime rate by being civil and enjoying delightfully delicious food and drinks. We may have a couple zooted kids and the occasional case of chronic diahrrea, but isn't that a small price to pay?
Which would YOU prefer?
Save a life, buy a burrito.
7 comments:
Got introduced to Chipotle in Houston. Can I say I'm the MOST excited person in Chapel Hill because we have one slated to open in August? :-) You really might be on to something with the Starbuck-Chipotle idea...
just had a burrito bol last night. mmm. so delicious.
Lauren, I don't know why but I assumed that Chipotle was prominent nationwide, but I guess not, huh?
Oh yeah, and I found out that bol is bowl in spanish so I'm a TARD!
Chipotle is a prominent nationwide chain. But you're forgetring Chapel Hill is the farmer's market, anti-establishment, center of college basketball universe. It is very much the sticks/'docks/middle of nowhere (but in one of Forbes' "best places to live").
I was excited to hear there's one near JHU, since I'd previously travelled all the way to Chinatown and Rockville to get my fix.
Chipotle is nationwide but it is just pretty new in the scheme of things so it hasn't made it to every corner just yet. When I left NC in Feb. 04 I had never heard of Chipotle and I was all over the state (Charlotte, Greensboro, Raleigh-Durham, and even out west in Hickory/Statesville). Chipotle is just starting to get EVERYWHERE. As far as the blog, Mike I see a flaw in your system since Chiptole doesn't give everyone the sh*ts. LMAO. I have never had that problem because spicey food doesn't do that to me.
Oh and did you say "mandatory double hand action on that" WHAT?!!!?!?! LMMFAO!!!
Dane...First and foremost, how imma-tour of you to keep your mind submerged in the gutter during such an intellectual discussion of Chipotle locations throughout the southern states of the U.S.
Secondly, you piece of rat shyt.
Third and foremost (WTF?), there is no flaw in my plan based on what you said. I said that there may be some cases of chronic diahrrea. Not that the chronic diahrrea induced by chipotle would keep people from shooting one-another.
The key to my *plan* is that you lose the ability to pull or shoot your gun when you are trying to eat one of those burritos. And you also lose all street credibility when you have a chipotle bag or burrito in your hand.
Fourth, the way you eat Dane, I think you could probably handle one of those burritos with one hand because you'll eat the other one in the process you hungry...
ROTFLMMFAO!!!!
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