Many of you probably already read my post on getting rich by helping the people of Smaltiwhore, Murdaland find out who they're baby-daddys iz. Well, I have come up with another useless and wishfully-thought idea on how to help the people of the poverty (and violence) stricken areas of not only Bodymore, Murdaland, but the entire country. Yes, I have finally come up with a plan that we can roll-out nationwide to stop the violence, increase the peace, and maybe even prevent some drug dealing!
Because I have a slight addiction to Starbucks Caramel Macchiatos, I often find myself lost in a world of pleasure inside Starbucks and eventually paying attention to the type of folks who frequent Starbucks and partake in the joys of crack-infused coffee. What I have noticed is that while there are many apparent middle-class white-collar workers who frequent Starbucks, there are no thugs or gangstas walking up in Strabucks ordering a Skim Latte with whipped cream and a shot of vanilla (or even the delightful Tazo teas they have). Not even a regular cup of coffee. Everyone who comes into Starbucks is typically polite, happy (perhaps because they're getting their fix), and non-violent. In this case, the latter, non-violent, is the most important.
My idea is to take all violent or potentially violent youth in urban America to Starbucks for a cup of coffee/espresso/whatever. The reason for this you ask? Because thugs don't drink Starbucks! My theory is that if you take an at-risk kid to Starbucks and start his/her addiction early, that they'll realize that by regularly going to Starbucks and partaking in crack-infused coffee, they could never be a thug or a gangsta. Simply because, Starbucks is not gangsta! Can you imagine "Lil Bootstrap" and "Meatball" from around your way going to Starbucks right before they pull a drive-by? Nope! How can you take a swig of cappucino (and not a 40-ounce) right before you bust a cap in somebody? Can you imagine "Meechi" or "Black" (every ghetto neighborhood has a guy named Black) standing on the corner with their crack in one hand and a warm vanilla-nut-latte in the other? Nope! Having a Starbucks cup with you while you're on the grind will probably get you robbed.
Because the addiction to Starbucks is so strong (did I mention the coffee is crack-infused), once you treat a "gangsta/thug in training" to a hot cup of Joe, he/she will have no choice but to go back again and again and again. As a result, they'll eventually realize that by drinking Starbucks coffee they've already lost all street credibility they could have ever had. And perhaps they'll even pick up a newspaper or magazine one day while in Starbucks and realize that there is a world that exists outside of their own where people are educated, happy, and don't have to rob, cheat, steal, or lie to get by. Okay, maybe they shouldn't pick up a newspaper, but you get my point. At that moment when they see that the world is bigger than they're neighborhood and what goes on, on the block...You will have one at-risk youth saved. That friends, is my idea and my hope. Do you think this could work?Helping the country got me feeling like a Black Republican:
9 comments:
Sounds like a plan. Sign me up.
You are crazy for thinking that up, but IT JUST MIGHT WORK!!!
I think it might. I've already got a shoe fund going at work. It's really a joke actually but my co-workers know I have a thing for shoes so they started a shoe fund. And the premise of the fund is that I get to buy new shoes so that I can hang my foot in the azz of all these Baltimore teens who are out here having baby-after-baby-after-baby. Of course I would need some new squared-toed or wing-tiped Mezlans to pull that off. Hence the shoe fund.
Mike you have a wild imagination!!!
You know anything with shaping the kids I am DOWN for it...and it just might work, you never know what you can do when you expose someone to something different..
"shoe fund" I needs that NOW...my kids are OFF the hook...gotta love 'em though
It's funny you mention being exposed to something new. I was talking to Osei last night about that and how hip-hop is shaping/brainwashing kids in a very detrimental way. Well, most hip-hop. But if your kids get a good education and get exposure to different people and see that not everyone acts like a rapper, not all white people are out to get you, not all Indian people have red dots on their foreheads, etc (basically break alot of the stereotypes we're force-fed)...Then your kid can transcend ignorance by being intelligent and experienced enough to know better. Education and exposure can do a lot for people!
But you know my theory about rebuilding the black community from within: Family values, education, and financial empowerment.
And I totally agree with that...you have to expose them to new and different things for them to be able to grow...and Education is very KEY to that Exposure...hell most of it can start just by picking up a book...
I agree that RAP music and the culture is really having a negative impact on young people, I had an hour long conversation last night with my brother about my 18 year old nephew (yea DJ is 18, CRAZY) and he is OFF the HOOK...smokes weed, cigs, drinks, you name it this little bama does it...and its because of what he sees...my nephew is 18 and in the 10th GRADE...education and working are NOT in his vocab...
So what you are saying is in DEED a reality for many kids, kids I see day in and day out...and unless WE (our generation) reaches back to show them that there is MUCH more to life than what they see in the latest Dipset video...we are up for some tuff years ahead...because most of them may barely get out of high school, and won't make it to college, and I am telling you what I KNOW, based on what I SEE with the kids I work with...who by the way come from upper middle class neighborhoods...so we not even talking about those on the lower end...
Good points. It's frustrating and depressing at the same time. Somebody get me a drink...OH yeah, I have the Holiday party at 3pm.
"Yuengling for everybody! It's on me!"
holly lew ya! i think you got it figgered out, bruh. i'm getting starbucks gift cards for all my students this christmas.
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