Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Real Talk: Finding Your Parents After 30 years

This is one of the realest posts I'll ever drop.

I have a very good friend that I have known since the 4th grade and we've been cool for almost 20 years now. He's been living in different places since our senior yeas in high school and he even lived with me for a couple years at one point, and throughout it all, we've remained good friends. When we were about 16 one of our other friends told me that this friend was adopted. I was kinda shocked at that time because I always thought his parents were his biological parents. Aside from that he and his brother (who I also found out was adopted but from a different family) looked like they were definitely blood brothers. Nevertheless, I had a subsequent conversation with my adopted friend and he explained everything to me. Turns out everyone in his household was adopted. His adopted parents had 5 adopted children in all. I believe it takes special people to adopt one child, let alone 5 and truly care for them and try to raise them well. His parents did a great job!

My boy is now working across the country and I only see him and/or talk to him once every couple weeks, if that. But about 2 months ago he told me that by complete happenstance (or perhaps divine intervention) he found out who his biological parents were. I can't imagine how that feels. I've had my mother since birth, my stepfather since 6, my biological father here-and-there till about age 16 when he and I really developed a real relationship, and I can't imagine NOT knowing who they were and living in a world where I had the question in the back of my mind daily of who my real parents were. I'm blessed. And even after 30 years of life, for you find out who your REAL parents are has to be considered a blessing as well! Not to mention a crazy feeling.

Needless to say, my boy was immediately curios, scared, and nervous about finding out where his parents were living and possibly contacting them. And ultimately there was something in him that caused him to HAVE TO know who they were and reach out to them.

So after being adopted on the day he was born, he finally reached out to his birth mother and spoke with her. He and I had a conversation prior to that phone call and I knew he was going into it with a very nervous mind but an open heart. Fortunately, everything went well and his mother apologized for putting him up for adoption. Turns out she was 16 at the time she gave birth to him and confused and did not know what to do. She told him there wasn't a day that went by where she didn't think about him and that she is proud and happy that he has turned into a respectable man with a daughter of his own. And more importantly, she would like to keep in touch with him and be a part of his life. Inside I might have shed a tear when he told me that I was so happy for him.

I knew deep down he had to have all types of questions he wanted answered for himself and he deserved to have them answered. Finally he can rest knowing the "what happened" and "why it happened" about his adoption and his parents. He has yet to reach out to his father and told me frankly that he may not. But I'm sure that there'll be more curiosity about his father to come and that internal desire to have a few of his most personal questions answered.

I'm really happy for him and I'm glad God made things happen the way they did.

This post reminds me of the best song Nick Cannon has ever and will ever make...

1 comment:

Tamecia said...


You're a thoughtful friend and I'm happy that your friend has you..as well as all of his parents.