When, at 330 am, your smoke detector goes off a single time. You're too lazy to get up and see why so you stay in the bed. Then, about an hour later you hear something/someone creeping around your house. So, before you almost lose your bowels, you think:
"Hmmmmnnnn....Am I going to die tonight because someone just broke in here and I have to defend myself with the pair of scissors in my nightstand drawer? Eff it! I'm going out with a fight!"
After having this thought, you try to tip-toe out of your bed but every step you take the wooden floor creaks and you realize that you need to put on some socks to keep your "intruder(s)" from hearing you. You manage to slide on some "footies" (read: "ankle socks") and attempt to slide your dumb, half-dressed azz to your bedroom door (like Tom Cruise in Risky Business) to see if you can hear anyone/anything moving. All the while, you're hearing patters of footsteps and light noises. You get to your door and before you decide to open it you slide back across the floor to get your cellphone just in case you have to dial 9-1 and then wait. LOL.After grabbing your cellphone you slide back to the bedroom door. You're about to pry the door open and then you hear someone run down your steps to the living room. At this moment you think, "Hold up! I'm half-sleep and my brother wasn't here when I went to bed. Maybe that's him."
You: "Hey Marcus, that you!?!"
Marcus: "YEAH!"
You: "AYIGHT. You almost got shanked with these shears beeeeeeeetch!"
Marcus: "Ha haaaaaaaaaaaa!"
You: [diving back into the bed mad and embarassed...] "Man, Imma be tired as shyt in the morning..."
... Yep, that was moi last night.
Obviously I haven't started my "ChangeUp" yet. But I'm headed in that direction.
6 comments:
LMMFAO!!!! Young imagine if you actually lived alone and you all of a sudden heard someone running down the steps and then heard doors opening and closing from what sounded like outside coming in. WTF you ask? My next door neighbors stairs are next to my bedroom so one night I heard all this sh*t thinking I was done. LMAO.
So you know exactly how I feel. Funny in hindsight...
but why was I thinking, while reading this..."man that might just be Marcus, doesn't he live there?" but then I thought I was buggin...its funny in hindsight but not at the time...been there myself, only it was my mother coming in my front door with her spare key and friggin scaring me shytless...
I guess we've all probably been there at some point. I am just it was really my brother.
I am really glad that it was him TOO!!! TRUST!!!!
Isn't that like the 3rd time that has happened to you?
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