Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Braces, The Chronicles: Step 2 Cont'd..."They got me for my toofus!"


Okay, so I just got back from the dentist's office and Imma little woozy after the anesthesia they gave me. When I walked in the lady's says "So we're putting you to sleep today."

And I'm like (in my mind): "Nah boo, I don't eff with that sleep shyt".

But in reality I reply: "Ah actually, I thought I was going to be under some mild sedation. You know, numbed basically."

To which she replies, "Oh, okay, we can do it either way."

So I proceed to go sit in the dentists chair and they take my blood pressure and I realize that I may just be getting put to sleep in the next few minutes. Then the dentist comes in and starts talking to me. I really cool guy. And judging from the military dental accolades on the wall, it appears he was a dentist for the Air Force at some point. I thought this was pretty cool for some reason. Perhaps it's because I wanted to be Maverick from Top Gun when I was a kid..."Highway to the Dangerzone" (Kenny Loggins, right?).

That was my movie. I'm telling you man!

Anyway, back to the dental experience. So they proceed to hook and IV up to my left arm. At which point I close my eyes and begin to pray. I'm not scared but I wanna make sure I get to at least stop at the pearly gates before God takes a look at all the porn on my computer and sends me to hell (LMMFAO!) Then I start thinking about how I'd die not having had a son or daughter and I realize that God definitely wants me to have kids and I become completely cool with the thought of being sedated and making it back to consciousness. I LOVE THE LORD!

So they stick this mask over my face and tell me to breathe in. In about 1.234 minutes I am beginning to feel like Pookie in New Jack City after a hit off one of those Nino Brown crack rocks. Man, this shyt was amazing. Next thing I know they're poking my mouth with needles. I assume this was novacane. I have a pretty decent threshold for pain I've inherited from my mom so the needles didn't bother me much. But once those needles poked me on both sides of my mouth, I didn't feel anything. NOTHING!

So next I notice they're beginning to dig in my grill like me and BHill on a Sunday afternoon cooking some burgers. I can kinda feel things a little but not really. So one by one I feel my teeth being extracted. But it's more like a slight tug on my mouth each time rather than any real pain.

So finally, the get all four chompers out and throw enough gauze in my mouth to dry up the baltimore harbor. So without further adieu, I present to you four former members of my personal dental association.

Just for perspective here:

I also have a shot of me all gauzed up. If you don't like blood, close your eyes...Then again, it's probably too late since you probably can see the picture below anyway.

I've been drooling like a baby for the past hour or so. Pretty annoying. But from the looks of things I should only need today and perhaps half of tomorrow to recooperate. That's SWEET! Unfortunately, I'll be walking around missing 4 teeth until next Tuesday when I get the wires inserted into my braces and we move to Braces, The Chronicles, Step 3...


dp said...

dayyyyyyum son, they ganked your wisdom teeth!?! The jawns look healthy too. I think I still have mines in the crib some where.

The dentist be havine them good drugs.

miKeSee said...

What's really sad homie, is that those aren't wisdom teeth. I forget which ones they are, but they're beside the canines...top right, top left...bottom right, bottom left. Crazy. I had my wisdom teeth taken out a couple years back (all four). That's how many teeth I had in my mouth (hence the crowding in the front of my mouth and hence the need for braces). My dental history is starting to get as long as DMX's rap sheet. LOL

lionel said...

I had no idea the roots on those bad boys were so deep. You make this dentistry thing sound fun. Your specialist should pay for a promo on your site. Go get cha discount, son!

miKeSee said...

Yeah man. The teeth are ridiculously huge. Brandi thought it was pretty gross but she seemed to also find them oddly intriguing or comical. It was pretty fun watching her reaction. And you're right, I should give my orthodontist my blog address...Maybe he will give me a discount (yeah right!)