Monday, May 15, 2006

Zadroonas Papoonas

In honor of my man L's rage over Zydrunas Ilgauskas, I am creating a post dedicated to the total uselessness of 'Z' as a 7-foot center*.

* - This is relevant to this year's playoffs only.

From L:

"Could you post a piece on your blog about how useless he is? He really pisses me off. A lot of basketball players do, but he can be especially useless.

How can you be 6 or 7-foot infinity, have played the game most of your life, take home millions of dollars a year and not have a solid grasp of fundamentals? For that much money, all of these guys should be jumping out of the gym and doing backflips into the hoop, but at least make your lay-ups!

I can easily name twenty NBA players who deserve a solid beat-down. I'd appreciate it if you started with him."

Uh, why YES L...I sure can. Hmmmmnnnn, where do I begin.

Zydrunas Papoonas (as I like to call him) is what I like to call the Sean Zabonis Smits of the NBA. The reason being is that at any given moment he can be either Sean Bradley (complete BUM), Arvetis Sabonis (mediocre, but okay at times), or Rick Smits (decent but not a real impact player). Becuase he is not aggressive, doesn't demand the ball 20 times a game, and often screws up plays that should be quite easy for a seven-footer to complete, he has absolutely no identity outside of being tall, foreign, and playing with LeBron James.

Aside from that, really, who is this guy? Did we know about him prior to LeBron playing in Cleveland. I know I didn't. Then again, I didn't care about the Cavs until my favorite player was drafted by them (LBJ).

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