JUST WHAT HIP-HOP NEEDS...A new Homophobic Reaction Phrase (HRP)...

Seems like it's kinda cool in hip-hop to have one of those phrases you can throw out there any time you say something that might be interpreted by other guys as a potentially homosexual innuendo.

So far I've heard the following:

1. "No homo" - For me, this one is circa Camron's "Come Home With Me" album though I'm sure it's been around much longer and I am just not in the proper loop.

Usage example: "I got the new G35 with the stick in it, NO HOMO!"

2. "No brokeback" - This one here is circa last year or whenever the hell that movie BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN came out. I never saw it, but probably will watch it one day (no homo...just felt obligated to say that for some reason, don't know why). So anyway, because the movie was so friggin controversial/entertaining/popular/whatever, a lot of people (it seems) started to use "no brokeback" in the same light as "no homo"

Usage example: "Yo, we were playing ball yesterday but we wasn't sure which one to use. But lil applesauce had a couple big balls so we used his, NO BROKEBACK"

3. "50 seconds" - This one I learned from a couple friends of mine, Laf & Raheem. I am not sure where it comes from, why it started, or who came up with it. But this one is used just like the previous two. I'll refrain from giving an example on this one.

So, without further adieu, I would like to submit another Homophobic Reaction Phrase (HRP) for all my overly-virile-cannot-be-remotely-considered-soft homies out there....

[drumroll...ni99as clowning me...couple screwfaces...]


"NO JOHNNYCAKES!"

Anyone who watches the Sopranos will understand this one. Personally, I've used this maybe uh, ZERO 2 times now. I'm hoping it'll catch on with all the homophobic guys out there though who feel the need to end all their "fishy" statements with an HRP. Personally, I am trying to really get over this whole homophobia thing. I'm secure and I'm 100% heterosexual. But sometimes this whole homophobia thing kinda gets out of hand to the point where it's QUITE comical. And I know some of you are going to say I'm going Kanye West with my views on all this stuff, but Imma grown a$$ man dawg. You can either accept it or reject it.

This topic has actually even found it's way to this blog a couple times previously:

1. Don't let me catch you dancing with another dude in the club, RAY-RAY!


"Grown ass men don't dance like that with other grown ass men. I will admit a slight homophobia but I like to think that I am more open-minded than a lot of men in general. And last night helped me become a little bit more comfortable in the presence of openly gay men. While it pretty much makes my stomach turn to see something like that, I think I am now better equiped to handle such a sight! Wheww, that was tough!

Anyway, this was a kinda important moment in my battle against this slight homophobia I have. Now, for the record, DO NOT expect me to completely loose this homophobia. It's not gonna happen! Every man should have some, I believe. But I am becoming a little bit more comfortable and accepting of men who live that lifestyle, even though I don't agree with it."

2. Eff some Johnncakes, let me get some Flapjacks (shot out to Dwele)

"FYI - I will never completely lose homophobia because once you do that, you open yourself up to changing sides (and you know what I mean) and I will NEVER (yes, I said NEVER) change sides."

The moral of the story here people is, stop being so insecure and stop buying into any and every damn thing hip-hop throws at you. It's all good, but it's really not ALL good! Being overly homophobic is not necessary at all. Don't give it all up because you might end up "giving it all up"...But damn if you HAVE TO drop an HPR everytime you say something that other people want to misinterpret.

PS - In case you didn't already click on the picture above or already know, the guy at the top of the post is actually Ru Paul...