I am not sure why, but today I have had several people ask me about Paula "I'd drink her bathwater while she's getting the S&M shyt ready" Patton. I think it may be because her husband's CD is so DOPE and now people are paying more attention to her than they did initially when she was in Hitch or Idlewild (and she's in Dejavú with DANZEL, which is coming out soon). I don't understand how she could be "overlooked", but I guess that's a possibility. Or maybe it's because of her husband's first CD cover on the left (which I'm sure alot of people are going back to purchase since the second CD is so dope). Or maybe it's because of my post about Robin Thicke which includes a reference to her and a picture (yeah right Miguel).Regardless of what the reason(s) are, I'm not mad because I don't mind looking at her, talking about her, wondering how articulate and intelligent she is, etc. etc.... Not ONE BIT!
It's obvious (below) that the girl is 1) heavenly gorgeous, 2) talented enough to at least be an actress, but 3) has horrible taste in men because she married Alan Thicke, Jr. and not me (LOL). But I'd like stop thinking about "Mr. Lost Without You" and his unGodly luck and give my ode to Paula Patton via pictures so everyone can understand that she is definitely one of the most beautiful women walking this planet we call Earth. And if Earth was ever going to disintegrate into a fiery ball of North Korean nuclear dust with Anthrax on the side, I'd shank Alan Thicke Jr. in the blink of an eye just to have a shot at Paula Patton's love, affection, and womb... For the birth of the devil's spawn (j/k). Yes! In the blink of an eye people! And my fit of belligerence wouldn't stop there by any means. It would also be directed toward all men after I took the Thicke-ster out! No Johnny Gill! And you d@mn women out there too who like women. "Competition must cease to exist".
So as to not prolong this for all my fellas out there who are dying to see what pictures my wannabe-WebNerd azz could fish off of Google, I'll go ahead to the pictures (I'll have a little more
After seeing these I am sure you realize that 1) she's almost as pretty as Prince in his prime, 2) Robin Thicke is a lucky sumnamab*tch and I will from this point onward refer to him as MR. Paula Patton, 3) I am obsessed, and 4) her ethnic background is really of no significance here (just appreciate the beauty).
"It's not your booty, it's your beauty"Naturally, she is moving up my celebrity wifey list faster than VH1 can air shows that contribute to the degradation of black people. In other words, expect to hear even more of my outlandish lovefest for Ms. Patton in the VERY near future. And I guess I might as well throw in the obligatory love-fest posts for my other celebrity wifeys as well. So expect Alicia Keys, Sophia Bush, Gabrielle Union, Eva Mendez, Salma Hayek, and other random celeb posts to come...
Guys, you can thank me later...Or perhaps with a bottle of the CIROC the next time you see me.
11 comments:
okay... whoa!!! i did NOT know robin was hittin that!!! you're right...i did miss her in hitch. but a bitch was mad glues to her... eh hem... in idlewild (see myspace "movie interest" section) and best believe i was planning to catch deja vu. ya heard.
she's that breath-taking type gorgeous. damn you robin! he's a looker in his own right. they must be a sight to see together ;P *meant that in the cleanest way possible*
Yeah Mr. Paula Patton is a lucky dude. And you're right, he's not an ugly cat by any means. He got his own lil swag going on and I ain't mad that. But still, she deserves someone less handsome, rich, famous, and who can't sing...LIKE ME! Don't you think?
"seen together..." Nasty muth@...
Other people asked you about her too? She's gorgeous in that video.
STOP STALKING CRAZY!
Yeah...Multiple folks emailed me about her today out of the blue. It was weird. But like I said, I ain't mad about it. LOL.
I'm e-stalking the girl...There ain't no harm in that!
Dude you are really obsessed. I thought you were getting a little OC with it but I didn't know it reached these lengths...LMAO! But she is very attractive...a little light...but very attractive. You know my modo...what can brown do for you? She more like yellow...LOL.
Right now I am up at arms about Zoe Saldana! (even before that email you, Jon, and I had going). And I LOVE LOVE LOVE Sanaa Lathan. I was into Gabrielle Union until I found out that she is a rap/hoops groupie and the artists/players have been known to swap stories about her. Don't know how much is true but it hurt my heart to hear it.
"a little light"...Dane, you are funny. You know how I like 'em homie!
Regardless of skin-tone though, she's beautiful. I have a proclivity toward lighter-skinned women though so you know how it is.
"Hurt your heart to hear it."..I FEEL YOU!
Oh yeah, you gotta put Nia Long in there somewhere too mayne!
Honestly, my first star love was for Salma Hayek after I saw her thickness in "From Dusk Til Dawn" so I used to love the lightsknnededed ladies like you do but it has definitely changed over the last few years. Nia used to be on the list but I retired her when I discovered Sanaa but Nia is still a banger! One of my all time favorites is Tamala Jones...love the attitude and sexiness about her ALL DAY!
Yeah, I been on Salma for a minute. She STILL LOOKS GOOD man! Beautiful!
And you are 100% correct about Tamala Jones. She and Elease Neal are definitely on my list as well!
Anybody heard that first Robin Thicke yet? I'm wondering if that joint is worth the search I am getting ready to conduct?
oh yall buggin right? Where you see pretty? Yall PR peoples working overtime lol. I heard she was picked up off Hollywood bvld hoeing tricks. I met her the bitch smell like asscrack dribbling shit and she will fuck you if you promise to help her career lol. She must be workin that tore up coot overtime cause they put her in movies. Go figure no talent required, ahem. She really do smell like shit and stupid aint the word. Hooker bitch, all I see is hoe stro ugly. Robin is cute though.
he only included her at the end for the call girl entrance. Because thats what she do.
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