Examining Rick Ross-isms: In Cold Blood

The beat on this track is about as sinister as Ross wants us to believe his C.O. past was. Officer Ricky does a good job of holding his own on this track though. I'm not sure whether or not I think having another 50 Cent foe (Bang Em Smurf) on the track talking as opposed to rapping was a good idea. Bang Em is pretty much irrelevant nowadays but it would have made more sense to me if Ross gave him a verse on this joint rather than just have him talking ish at the end. But some guys are arguably better at talking ish on a track than rapping.

In Cold Blood - Rick Ross

Midst of the war, I pi$$ on graves. Kids get grazed by my pi$$ poor ways: I thought it was kind of interesting that he mentions how he has (or can have) an influence on kids by the way he acts. Not sure if he threw that in there just because it rhymes (he's got a tendency to do that) or because he really has thoughts about that. I guess it was the former since he doesn't really expound on it.

Beat the case like Orenthal: LOL. OJ jokes never really get old.

Once the b*tch need an oil change, I go and buy a new one/Cuz I'm spoiled mayne: LOL. This guy never stops saying outlandish stuff.

Overall this album flows pretty well from beginning to end. Minus about 2 tracks that I would call just average I think Ross has a solid album. You might not like the content but the music is pretty good. He has always seemed to have an ear for decent production but his lyrics haven't always been up to par (a la Young Jeezy). But on this album Ross steps his game up enough lyrically to hold his own over some very good production. This is one of my favorite albums so far this year.

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects
· All I Really Want
· Rich Off Cocaine
· Lay Back
· Murda Mami
· Gun Play
· Bossy Lady
· Face
· Valley of Death

Examining Rick Ross: Valley of Death

I was undecided as to whether Valley of Death or Mafia Music was my favorite song on the album but I am now convinced that Valley of Death is it. I liked this song from the first time I heard it and this is the only song on this album that I will repeat 10 times over. The reason I like this song and Mafia Music so much is because they're both probably the realest joints Ross has ever written. For all the coke talk and misogyny on this album there's at least two songs that come off as completely genuine and authentic and Mafia Music and Valley of Death have to be on that list.

Valley of Death - Rick Ross

Faith of a mustard seed destined for a triumph/David or Goliath, hate me or admire: David = Ross, Goliath = 50. Faith of a mustard seed. Destined for triumph. Stepped it up a bit here lyrically.

Will I get to heaven turn to Psalm 27: Psalm 27.

New York unified, down south love that/When we got to shine mf-ers where the love at: Real talk.

Very first line he called Trick Daddy stupid, saying he got AIDS telling people that it's Lupus: Dude didn't even have to go here. Lupus isn't a joking matter. AIDS isn't either. But at the same time I recall Trick taking some shots at Ross when the correctional officer story broke so I guess all's fair...

Young ni99a 15, with 3 seeds/From that very day I carried on them 3 C's...Better get smart young brother live yours/Only live once and I got 2 kids/And for me to feed them I'll get 2 gigs/I'll shovel shyt, I'll C.O./So we can bow our head and pray over the meatloaf/I'm lookin' at the big picture/: That siced me. Ross both admits to and addresses the C.O. situation in about 3 bars. He could have just done this in the beginning and I think a lot of people would have more respect for him now than they do. It's nothing wrong with being a C.O. (ie - having a job). And Ross still maintains after admitting he worked as a C.O. that the "truth is much more sinister". Whatever Ross! Just keep dropping solid music and stop trying to save face.

I'm about 90% convinced that lyrically, this is the best song on the album.

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects
· All I Really Want
· Rich Off Cocaine
· Lay Back
· Murda Mami
· Gun Play
· Bossy Lady
· Face

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Face

Face succeeds where Murda Mami fails. That is, in being ridiculously crass, reckless, and OUT OF CONTROL. Leave it up to Trina who dated Baby, then Lil Wayne, and now crazy-azz Kenyon Martin. Surprise though... I actually like the song, call it a guilty pleasure. I guess that makes me freak-nasty too, huh? Nothing wrong with gettin' face!

Face - Rick Ross (feat. Trina)

They don't really waste much time "getting it in" on this track. I won't even mention how Trina starts off the song (let's just say it's pretty raw and uncut).

9 times out of 10 he want a fly yella thang, that can entertain, naked in my yellow chain: That doesn't sound like a bad deal from where I'm sitting. I'd go for 10 out of 10 though. At the same time, Trina seems like she might have one hell of a track record (I know, I shouldn't say that) so I'm not sure if she's the fly yella thang I'd want naked in her yellow chain. Then again, I might not care. Blame it on the vodka and the blue tops.

Sellin' dope, counting money keep my d*ck hard: T.M.I.!

Money like Mariah, Rihanna hairdo: If I was female I think that line might have siced me. I mean Mariah has crazy dough. So much so that any female might want to aspire to be as rich as she is, though hopefully not as lame. And Rihanna is what I would call a "pretty young thang" and I often hear females compliment her on her looks. All this leads me to believe that if a female heard this line it might sice her. Especially if she's the type that is on her grind and stays flyy. But maybe I'm reading into this too much. Ladies???

I left out a few lines I wanted to include but I just couldn't do it with a clear conscience. I'm not really sure why I all of a sudden decided to draw a line on gratuitous sexual references but there were a couple lines I just don't want to post. If you listen to the song you'll be able to figure them out I'm sure.

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects
· All I Really Want
· Rich Off Cocaine
· Lay Back
· Murda Mami
· Gun Play
· Bossy Lady

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Bossy Lady

As far as these Rick Ross radio-friendly songs go:

Magnificent > Bossy Lady > All I Really Want >>> Lay Back

Bossy Lady - Rick Ross (feat. Ne-Yo)

Mine gaudy [un]less I'm going for the sporty look: Hmmmnnn. Not sure how I feel about that line. Maybe that's because mine is sporty unless I'm going for the gaudy look. Then again, authentically gaudy isn't really in my budget. Spoken like a true R.N.

My kicks brown now I'm lookin' for Rihanna 'nem: WHAT???

She asked for head first so she gets it off the top: This does not make sense when you consider this is the same guy that said: "I'm busy baby go and suck another c*ck". Maybe Ross decided to be nice.

Cruisin' down Collins, knocking Trick Daddy: And two songs later he disses Trick Daddy. Very Game-esque moves he's making re: T-Double.

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects
· All I Really Want
· Rich Off Cocaine
· Lay Back
· Murda Mami
· Gun Play

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Gunplay

Off the strength of the title alone I knew this one was going to be entertaining (lol). Ross's right-hand man's name is Gunplay and this guy is what I would call a "character". See my reason for calling him a "character" here. I didn't realize that Officer Ricky was going to actually have this guy rapping on the song though. That was just the icing on the cake. Once I realized that Gunplay would be rapping, I knew this would be a tough talk extravaganza. Here's me..."How many bodies are these bamas going to catch on this track?"

Gunplay - Rick Ross (feat. Gunplay)

Tellin' lies getting ni99as wives tied up and raped: Body #1. While it's not technically a body that he caught with that line, raping someone might actually be as bad as killin' someone. In general though, rape is worthy of years in jail if not the death penalty (I can't really advocate the death penalty because I don't believe it's a human's right to decide who lives or dies).

Bullet in my head, bullet in my chest. Yeah they want a ni99a dead, they envy my success: Ross indirectly bodies himself. Body #2. Bawse remember: "You're nobody 'till somebody kills you!"

Ni99as getting wacked no sympathy for the soft, ni99as snitching I know b*tches who clipping ya d*ck off: Wow. Bodies 3 and 4. And yes, having your "manhood" clipped off = death.

Got ya girl panties wetter than a pool party: Ha! He must have thought of this while doing laps in his swimming pool.

Ain't never put sh*t on the line, just sh*t in a rhyme, I shoot a ni99a sh*t in a rhyme: First, what? Say that again??? Second, Body #5.

These internet ni99as, these ain't a threat ni99as. Never seen a labtop in the projects ni99a: I thought that was a pretty raw line. Not lyrical, but just uncut, raw, and to the point. It's like Joe Budden said: "I hate to see you lose your life over a website".

Who dat standing behind the curtain I'll murk 'em: Body number 6.

Only 6 bodies!?!?! That's 1/3 the body count on the average Uncle Murda song. Ross needs to study Uncle Murda while he's studying Jay-Z.

And just in case you're wondering who Brisco is since he's on line 2, here ya go.

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects
· All I Really Want
· Rich Off Cocaine
· Lay Back
· Murda Mami

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Murda Mami

I still get a kick out of that picture too, LOL. It might actually be my favorite one.

Anyway, I am not sure if anyone was surprised by the fact that Foxxy is on this track, but I sure wasn't. I know there were rumors floating around about Ross and Foxxy being an item a while back (not that anybody cared outside the InterWeb) and I thought: "Meh, it wouldn't surprise me. But who really cares?". So when this song leaked I wasn't the least bit surprised and more importantly, I wasn't really excited about hearing it. I have never really been a fan of Foxx although I know a bunch of people that are. I've always thought she was the weakest of the female rappers of her era (Lil Kim, Eve, and Foxxy). She hasn't really impressed me since "Ain't No Ni99a" and that was HOW LONG ago? Since then she's had a couple joints that were hot but overall more drama than quality music. And after she lost (and subsequently regained) her hearing I would be apprehensive to believe that she can even tell what good music is anymore. But I AM glad she has her hearing back.

In a certain ghetto-fabUlous way she and Ross are an ideal couple. She loves to play ghetto azz Bonnie to some guy's Clyde (see: Jay-Z) and they are both about as unforgivingly hood as they can be. What's that mean? It's a match made in the projects.

As for this song, it's the second track on the album I'd skip. I listen to it, but if you asked me what are the tracks on this disc that I label "skip-able", this is definitely one of them.

Murda Mami - Rick Ross (feat. Inga)

She'll take the kilo and stuff it up in the Gucci/Brick of that 'roin, stash it up in the coochie: See what I mean about the Bonnie and Clyde stuff (which is naturally in the hook of the song)? I've always felt like Foxx's goal in life was to be a down-azz-chick. Which isn't altogether a bad life if you took away the potential for jail-time, death, or otherwise emotionally/physically harmful things that could happen.

Me and Ross like the hood version Obama's: GASP! Oh no she didn't!. This is an example of why there needs to be a copy-editing process when hip-hop lyrics are written. Anything Gucci Mane and/or OJ Da Juiceman (seriously) says is the only other example I think I need to prove my point. Quarter-edit, half-edit, whole-edit, AYE!

Hold up! That's it! Just two lines!?!? Great! Now I have to retract what I said in the last post.

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects
· All I Really Want
· Rich Off Cocaine
· Lay Back

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Lay Back

Lay Back misses where Magnificent and Rich Off Cocaine hit. Unlike the other two, this track seems a bit forced. I understand that since Shooter with Lil Wayne every rapper wants Robin Thicke on a hook but I'd argue that since then there have been more hits than misses as far as rappers getting Mr. Paula Patton on their songs. Ask 50 Cent. This would be the first track I'd skip in a full run-through of the album.

Lay Back - Rick Ross (feat. Robin Thicke)

Never shopping from clearance, don't make me embarrassed: I find that hilarious! I can actually picture Ross saying that to a chick because he thinks that highly of himself. On the other hand, someone such as myself that isn't "Rich Off Cocaine" would love to go shopping with a woman grounded enough that she didn't mind hitting the clearance rack. Nothing like a good deal. And it's not like she'd be confined to the clearance rack. But I guess I'm an R.N. (regular ni99a) like 50 Cent says, dah well.

She never a bird, but baby my parrot: Wow.

My car's a virgin, first one to hit it: ROTFLMMFAO!

I'm noticing that as the album goes on I'm hearing less-and-less craziness from Ross. But the next track features Foxxy Brown so I'm sure it's gonna get reckless again.

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects
· All I Really Want
· Rich Off Cocaine

Examining Rick Ross: Rich Off Cocaine

Rich Off Cocaine is actually a pretty good song for the same reasons that Magnificent is a good song. Ross's raps aren't bad (though there's a littany of cocaine references), the beat is good, and the R&B "crooner" does a good job on the hook. I think Ross missed the mark though changing the title from On Top of the World to Rich Off Cocaine. Rich Off Cocaine would probably be more acceptable if the whole correctional officer thing didn't hit the fan. Now it just seems a bit out-of-place to me. But I didn't executive produce this album so who cares what I think?

Rich Off Cocaine - Rick Ross (feat. Avery Storm)

Like I said previously, there's enough obvious and not-so-obvious cocaine talk in here it's almost entertaining to see just how much time elapses between a coke reference. Or maybe that just entertains me.

How you get a kilo started at an 8-ball: Good example of the type of Ross coke references in this track. Starting at an 8-ball and working your way up to a kilo takes a lot of time and effort (not that I'm promoting drug-dealing), so I'd consider this an accomplishment for any aspiring drug dealer - let alone a former correctional officer slash guy who poured tar UP ON a roof. You know, if drug-dealing is what you decide to do.

Come from where hoes f*ck you for your paint job: You don't even have to guess, it's somewhere in the SOUTH! Candy paint and dunkrydes ALL-READY!

I watch her snort her powder while I'm chillin' sippin tea: I understand that coke is supposed to be the drug of the rich and wealthy but come on. Nothing cool about letting your girl do a Tony Montana-esque line. This guy watches too many gangster movies. That Elvira ish is NOT sexy.

Vacationed in Haiti, it nearly broke my heart/Seeing kids starve I thought about my Audemar/Selling dope ain't right, I put that on my life/Chickens put me in position to donate the rice: Somehow he managed to keep talking about coke but put a positive spin on it. Best.Ross.Bars.EVER!

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects
· All I Really Want

Examining Rick Ross-isms: All I Really Want

I still get a kick out of the above picture.

Ross enlists The (American) Dream for this track. I'm a fan of The Dream and at this point he's one of those go-to guys for hip-hop hooks (like T-Pain) so I expected this track to be decent at the very least. It doesn't disappoint and for that reason I can be caught walking around the crib singing "All a ni99a really want is YOU!"...RADIO KILLAAAAAAAAAAA!

All I Really Want - Rick Ross (feat. The Dream)

Actually, before I start re-treading Ross's verses/lines I want to say that I really am entertained by the confidence with which Officer Ricky makes statements about his sexual prowess. It makes me laugh to think that Ross could even fathom that the general public would find 93.6% of this stuff believable. Back to the show...

Met in D.C. like 'Go Barack!': SICED me!!!

Girl drunk it like a Fiji then she blowed my socks: See what I mean about him saying things that make no sense but rhyme? Blowed my socks? Translation: Ross likes the feeling of wet socks on his feet.

Might let her sit it on my mustache/But [???] now and then again it make her bust fast: I'm really interested in knowing what part I missed in the ???'d spot above. It sounds like he either said maybe or baby. What's hilarious about this to me is that you can look at Rick Ross and NEVER even think about the fact that he does have a mustache because his beard is so gigantic. He seems like the type of guy that would have a "flavor saver" though (if you know what I mean).

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club
· Usual Suspects

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Usual Suspects

When I first heard a snippet of Usual Suspects (courtesy of eskay) I was super-pressed to hear what NaSiR's verse was going to sound like. Ross held his own on the preview verse and the beat is arguably one of the album's best. When I finally heard the full song I felt like Ross out-rapped NaS but that's just my opinion. I've gotten into a couple arguments about this already and I am NOT saying NaS's verse is weak by any means but ... Ross 2nd verse > Nas verse > Ross 1st verse. Tell me why I'm wrong in the comments.

Usual Suspects - Rick Ross (feat. NaS)

I'm too cool for lame dudes to ridicule/I laugh while I'm doin' laps in the swimming pool: First thought was --> "I'm stealing that too cool line". Second thought --> "Ross can swim? NO WAY!"

And still my talent has yet to be challenged: Dare I say this is a shot at Jay-Z?

But back then dough was like a whore that Goldie loved, it didn't exist/and Officer Foley cuffs was after my wrist/was not Beverly Hills where we chilled/Imagine this the Nazareth had to get from rags to rich/I used to stand on rooftops with two glocks/Thinking how could I turn my Timberlands to Crocs/Now reptiles is left out I'm 'bout a watch: That right there is poetry my friends. NaS laced that! Officer Foley --> Beverly Hills...Rags to rich --> Timberlands to Crocs...Reptiles --> Watches with reptile skin. Dope!

As my 'fetti grow f--ck her, feed her Spaghetti-O's: Selfish, are we? How you gonna get more money and make your girl eat Spaghetti-O's? That ain't right!

Wow! This might be the least outlandish song on the album.

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent
· Yacht Club

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Yacht Club

Yacht Club is my first or second favorite track off of Deeper Than Rap (it's a close battle between this song and Valley of Death). The vibe of this song is sooooo laid back and smooth that I can't help but turn it up loud and imagine myself on South Beach when I hear it. Maybe I need to start imagining myself on a yacht?

Yacht Club - Rick Ross (feat. Magazeen)

Pu--ies don't get pu--y: I didn't really pay this line much attention the first time I heard the song because Ross says a lot of recklessly crass stuff in general and I've come to ignore a lot of it. But my buddy Lance mentioned in his twitter feed that he hates that Ross says it throughout the album and now I'm reminded of Lance's tweet every time I hear Ross say it. THANKS A LOT RIPROCK!

I'm not bigger than Biggie, b*tch I'm bigger than you: How can you not love Ross's unintentional use of the much sought-after but not often achieved quadruple-entendre (there's no way he's lyrically talented enough to have though of this one)?

1. Physically he's not bigger than Biggie
2. Musically he's not bigger than Biggie
3. He's probably musically bigger than whomever he's addressing here (God only knows who though)
4. He's probably physically bigger than ALMOST EVERYBODY except for Biggie so does it really matter who he's talking to?

The fat Tommy Lee I made out with like eight broads: I might dare go out on a limb and call that a classic Rick Ross line. Not because it's classic in the broader spectrum of dope bars that have been spit but because it's hilarious when you think about Ross comparing his sexual exploits to Tommy Lee. There's now way Ross can even come close to Tommy Lee's Ron Jeremy-ish exploits.

She no speaky no engli-maybe Fat Joe can teach her: That was kinda slick. It made me chuckle anyways. I remember reading on someone's blog (maybe it was Bol's)recently about how for all this coke/Noriega/Escobar talk Rick Ross probably can't speak a lick of spanish and here Ross goes giving away his secretsof foreign communication. Cook Coke CRACK!

Janet was in control, because the hoe left: Another one of those out-of-nowhere lines like the one about Puffy and Total. I don't understand what the point of this is other than a quick word play on Janet Jackson and her album entitled Control. I also don't get the connection as far as how she was in control because she "left". "Left" what? Who? Ross, I'm going to need you to study Jigga a little bit more than you obviously have in preparation for writing this album and start making more solid connections to your quips.

My d*ck a big stretch: I think I understand what he was trying to say but I just wish he would have said this another way.

Told her to kiss your a$$ after you bought the b*tch breasts: A tip to all you trickin' fools out here. Don't play yourself.

I'm into frying fish with a slight lime twist: I thought he was into friggin' crabMEATS? Make up your mind already! I guess he's a seafood connoisseur. And wouldn't it be lemon rather than lime when we're dealing with seafood? Ross probably puts ketchup on his scallops I bet. He so hood!

Roll with a Navy SEAL: Here he goes again just throwing things out there that don't really make sense but rhyme. But it is kinda funny to think of a seal in the context of Rick Ross's stature. Hehe. Navy SEAL though? I think NAUGHT!

Still sippin' champagne, or is it merlot: Who confuses champagne with merlot? Let me help you out Ross: "Stay sippin crushed grapes, let's call it pinot/I call it fine wine, some call it vino/". I'm available to ghost-write for all under-educated rappers for as little as $100/bar. Holla at ya boy!

And in case you're like me and you're wondering what Greedy Geniu$ clothing is, here ya go. I'm sure Curly is going to act like I'm a bama since I didn't already know what Greedy Geniu$ clothing was but I don't care. You know you are! ADMIT IT CURLY!

Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2
· Magnificent

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Magnificent

Magnificent was the second song I heard from Deeper Than Rap and I remember immediately thinking: "Ross got one right here!" Overall, this is probably the best song on the album when you take production, lyrics, and listenability (yep, I said it) into consideration. John Legend does what he normally does on the hook (i.e. - laces it) and Ross holds it down lyrically. This is one of my favorite tracks on the album.

Magnificent - Rick Ross (feat. John Legend)

She the one that I adore so I try to enter raw: Slow your roll, pimpin'! Rap It Up!

Ain't nothing free, I'm charging to breathe air: This is one of those out-of-nowhere lines that Ross has a tendency to drop where the line is so outlandish that you believe nobody would say it and actually mean it, except for??? Another example of this is: "I never phone ahead all she do is hear the pipes".

Ain't nothing on my back but the delicate(s) of fabrics: This line cracks me up every time I hear it. Me and my buddy Laf (aka Curly) laugh uncontrollably at this line and that crab meats line. This begs the question of whether or not these guys actually listen to what they say before releasing these tracks. Or maybe they just don't care and I'm too much of a nerd to let this particular usage slide. I think being high has a lot to do with lines like this and you know Ross is always talking about the smell of kush and lean on his breathe (like that's sexy or something). Aside from the obvious mis-step in usage of the term delicate, I think it's funny that big husky azz Ross is talking all big and bad but wants to be draped in the softest fabrics as if he's not going to sweat completely through that ish on the walk from his car to his front door.

It's time to rape the game, like Puffy did Total: WHAT?!?! Is this meant to be taken literally, figuratively? This is a very GAME-esque move right here. That is, out-of-the-blue dropping a random controversial line about another popular artist. And Total hasn't been relevant for eons now. What does The Bawse know that we don't? If you answered "absolutely nothing", I'd bet you're right.


Previously:

· Mafia Music
· Maybach Music 2

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Maybach Music 2

Maybach Music 2 was probably the song I anticipated the most on this album. The original was easily the best song on Trilla. While I don't think the second installment is as good as the first there are some jewels in here. In fact, more jewels than Ross-isms (shocker, I know).

Maybach Music 2 - Rick Ross (feat. Kanye West and Lil Wayne)

If B-I was alive he'd probably have the two tone: This is a Yeezy line but it sices me every time I hear it and I'm still not sure why. Maybe it's because it seems like everybody respects Biggie's swag so much that I like it when these guys pay homage in ways like this.

Kanye and Wayne's obsession with feces: "I am the sh-t and this is my commode"??? Even going back to "Swagger Like Us" where he says "how do it feel to be the sh*t and the urine?" That line really blew the crap out of me. Anyway, Wayne talks about sh*t quite often so if you haven't noticed it yet, maybe him "sitting in the azzhole" of his Maybach will help refresh your memory.

New crib, loftin'/Where is at? Austin/Where's that? Texas/What's in front? Benz's/What else? Lexus/Well whose Maybach is this?/Mr. West's!": That's dope!

I got so many horses b*tches call me Polo: A slick line from the Bawse. I'm wondering if this dude really does own horses though. Maybe he eats horseMEATS and crabMEATS.

I was barely getting pretty women: Hey Ross guess what? I BELIEVE YOU!

All black Maybach I'm sitting in the a$$ hole!: I have no idea why he felt like he needed to say that. What's the a$$hole of a Maybach? Why would I ever want to know? Tailpipe? Backseat? He should have ad-lib'd a "no homo" in the background on this one just for G.P. I guess this was just to catch everyone's attention at the beginning of his verse. Mission accomplished!

Fresher than Will Smith and Uncle Phil too! Slick! Fresh Prince...Rich uncle...Weezy is nice.

In my opinion, the proper line-up for this track would have been Yeezy, Ross, Wayne, and Jay-Z. It's kind of disappointing that Jay was on the first but not the second joint.

Previously:

Mafia Music

Examining Rick Ross-isms: Mafia Music

If you've been following Rick Ross since the whole 50 Cent vs. Rick Ross beef started then this will entertain you. Otherwise, it probably won't, lol. I'm going to go through Ross's album track-by-track (each with its own post) and ponder the crazy things Ross says.

Before I start I want to give the disclaimer that I really enjoy "Deeper Than Rap" and up to this point I think it's the best album to drop this year. But I can't go without pointing out some of the ridiculous stuff this guy says. Without further adieu I present (BAWSE!)...

Mafia Music - Rick Ross

Having a job pouring tar "up on" a roof: I would imagine this builds character and the tough work would provide most of us with an impetus to do *something* else. Perhaps rap. Or sell drugs. Or become a C.O.

Making so much paper that you've got women taking photos naked: I cannot relate to this type of talk. I probably won't ever be able to. However, I'd guess that most guys that read this will have taken a pic or two of a naked female without so much more than a trip to Friday's, some smooth talk, and 3.2 sprays of some celebrity-endorsed cologne. Fellas, keep it real! You know I'm accurate here (not that I have done that type of shenanigans).

Being turned on by rumors so much so, that you masturbate "at the top" and "hoes so excited" they "catch every drop": What exactly is the top in this context? The top of rumor circles, rap in general, his house? Nevertheless I find this shockingly believable because if Ross has enough paper to make women take photos naked (how much money would you require from Rick Ross to take a naked pic for him, hmmmmmm?) then what's the difference between that and having enough money for them to catch every drop (eeeeewww)? You'd think that if a woman was going to watch this guy rub one out from the "top" then she's already given way to the fact that his money is relentless in its sexiness and she would hence be turned on enough to go ahead and pull a Superhead and catch those falling drops (I cringed writing that). Pardon my crassness on everything prior to this sentence.

Giving a chick to the block after you eff one time: I thought guys usually let the block smash at the same time they did, not pass a chick off. I'm sure Ross has ran his share of trains so I would have expected something a little more over-the-top instead of this. But dealing with women like Tia (the block could be 50 Cent in her case) and "Brooke", nothing is taboo.

Dropping another album for your dogs so you can buy 10 Maybachs for them to ride in: This is actually one of my favorite lines in this song. Ross is probably just dumb enough and self-absorbed enough to do this. But I like the point he's indirectly (and perhaps unintentionally) making about loyalty to his friends (aside from the obvious gloating about frivolous spending). If I could have, I would have had all my boys go to college with me, build a business together, and eat crab meats while wearing the "delicates of fabrics". That's BAWSE ish.

Having a Farrakhan aura: Do I even need to comment on this? So you want to be creepy but still manage to pilfer $1,000,000+ from the Black community with no accountability whatsoever and then try another march a decade later in hopes of pulling the same stunt? Ross clearly has some serious intestinal fortitude to pull this line out. And pausing on the pork was obviously something Ross didn't start until recently.

Question: Is killing people when you're bored > Effing people's lives up for fun?

Giving a girl 100 stacks, breaking up, and letting her keep it: You d@mn fool! This is similar to Ross wanting to buy Maybachs for his boys but much more lame. I can only relate to this in terms of pancakes (yes, pancakes!). If (over the duration of a relationship) I cook a chick 100 pancakes and we break up, I'll be pissed because of all that work I put in. But 100 stacks of money means I will be at her door waiting for her to come home to get my ish back. "I knew it wouldn't work, I just like to give". Ain't that some bullshyt!

Eating crabmeats! This one is so much my favorite that I may just buy eatingcrabmeats.com AND crabmeats.com. Seriously, "crabMEATS"!!! That is classic! Besides that, only people from Maryland (my home state, no shots) and Rick Ross think that crab meats are high-society eating. Next thing you know he'll be be talking about eating venison like that's special. I can see this fool now: "I got so much bread these hoes wanna eat/Venison tastes good, but still ain't crabmeats!"

Next Up - Maybach Music 2...