Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Facebook Man Law #3


Technically, this will be Facebook Law #3 (if we're counting the first Man Law and the second Law) but this one might be the most important one so far. So listen up fellas!

Facebook Man Law #3: No (presumably) heterosexual male is allowed to POKE another (presumably) heterosexual male on FaceBook under any circumstances!!!

Homosexuality Clause: If the recipient is straight and then sender of the "poke" is gay, then the law still applies. If the recipient is gay and the sender is straight, then the sender is now automatically gay. If both parties are gay, then the law is in-applicable.

Fellas, I do not care how nice/cool I am with you, if you are in the closet, out-of-the-closet, or undecided of where you want to be, do not interpret my niceness as an invitation to poke me on FaceBook. That shyt is beyond my threshold of things I will tolerate from gay, kinda, or "hasn't yet realized they are gay" male friends. I do not want to log into my FaceBook account and see that "Dexter St. Jacques" has poked me. Right after I say "no this mf-er didn't!" I'm going to automatically remove that questionable shyt and then re-evaluate my friendship with you. I will admit that I have come a LOOOOOOOONG way in getting past my homophobias but your boy has to draw the line somewhere. Seriously!

You are going to turn this...

Guy to his boy: "Yo man Cherese just poked me on FaceBook. I think she got a thing for the kid!"

To this BOWLshyt...

Guy to his boy: "Man this m*ther*fcker D done changed his name to 'Delicious' on FaceBook and had the audacity to f*cking poke me (pause)!!! I might smack the sh*t out this bama when I see him!"

Get it? GOOD! Chances are I'll still be cool with you whether you like guys/girls/animals/whatever but like I said, I gotta draw the line somewhere. Please respect my InterWeb personal space by refraining from doing something as questionable as "poking" me on FaceBook. That just sounds wrong even thinking about it, let alone typing it, saying it, or seeing it on my FB home screen. I wanted to smack my computer off the desk when I saw that crap!

And if this post makes you feel some kinda way I'm talking to your poking a$$ (pun intended)!

5 comments:

M.C. said...

You and all of these man laws. What exactly is a "poke"? I am not on Facebook, so I am a bit ignorant to the FB slang.
I am glad to see that you are working on your homophobia, and I suppose you make a good point. Although I wonder if that applies to women as well? I have received notes from other females on Blackplanet, and if they are hustling products, trying to get me to join a group, etc., I think nothing of it.
However, the questionable ones where the meaning behind it is unknown, or they are half naked on their thumbnail, I delete those. Do men look at that interaction between women the same way?

miKeSee said...

I guess you have to be on Facebook to understand. Just off the strength of the term/action being "poke", no man should be allowed to do that to another man, PERIOD!

I'm not a woman so I am not sure if it applies to you all as well but my guess would be that it doesn't unless the woman poking you is homosexual and you are not. Then it might be a bit uncomfortable. But two "homegirls" poking one another is probably no big deal to ladies I would assume.

E said...

LMAO....I think I deleted that application just because of the potential pokage that could occur! Needless to say some of the people on my friendslist are questionable or just out rate gay. Theres nothing wrong with that...just dont go poking me! Matter of fact, let me make sure I actually removed the application and didn't just consider it.

miKeSee said...

You can remove it...

*goes to Facebook*

T.C. said...

wow! never even thought it was remotely that deep...