Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Facebook Man Law #3
Technically, this will be Facebook Law #3 (if we're counting the first Man Law and the second Law) but this one might be the most important one so far. So listen up fellas!
Facebook Man Law #3: No (presumably) heterosexual male is allowed to POKE another (presumably) heterosexual male on FaceBook under any circumstances!!!
Homosexuality Clause: If the recipient is straight and then sender of the "poke" is gay, then the law still applies. If the recipient is gay and the sender is straight, then the sender is now automatically gay. If both parties are gay, then the law is in-applicable.
Fellas, I do not care how nice/cool I am with you, if you are in the closet, out-of-the-closet, or undecided of where you want to be, do not interpret my niceness as an invitation to poke me on FaceBook. That shyt is beyond my threshold of things I will tolerate from gay, kinda, or "hasn't yet realized they are gay" male friends. I do not want to log into my FaceBook account and see that "Dexter St. Jacques" has poked me. Right after I say "no this mf-er didn't!" I'm going to automatically remove that questionable shyt and then re-evaluate my friendship with you. I will admit that I have come a LOOOOOOOONG way in getting past my homophobias but your boy has to draw the line somewhere. Seriously!
You are going to turn this...
Guy to his boy: "Yo man Cherese just poked me on FaceBook. I think she got a thing for the kid!"
To this BOWLshyt...
Guy to his boy: "Man this m*ther*fcker D done changed his name to 'Delicious' on FaceBook and had the audacity to f*cking poke me (pause)!!! I might smack the sh*t out this bama when I see him!"
Get it? GOOD! Chances are I'll still be cool with you whether you like guys/girls/animals/whatever but like I said, I gotta draw the line somewhere. Please respect my InterWeb personal space by refraining from doing something as questionable as "poking" me on FaceBook. That just sounds wrong even thinking about it, let alone typing it, saying it, or seeing it on my FB home screen. I wanted to smack my computer off the desk when I saw that crap!
And if this post makes you feel some kinda way I'm talking to your poking a$$ (pun intended)!