CamRon just doesn't get it...

Not only does this dude make a diss track (another one) aimed at Jay, but he QUOTES JAY-Z lyrics in the daggon song! How can you make a diss track about Jay-Z yet use Jay-Z's lyrics as part of the diss? This dude is HILARIOUS!

I assume this is some sort of response to the Hustlin Remix where Jay makes a few comments that could be interpreted as shots at Cam.

Some funny quotes from this joint:

1. "He out of retirement, Jordan on the Wizards!"

2. "He only go to Marcy on Christmas day"

3. "I got houses where you hide, I hustle where you live" (check Jay-Z's lyrical archive for this one)

4. "I done dust and fried him, the fans must oblige him Call the sandals slippers you can't justify em"

...and my personal favorite...

5. "Only G-4 I'm on is a labtop!"

Oh yeah, "this a NITTY beat..."

<a href="http://mike.webic.biz/cam_diss2.mp3">Click here to listen</a>

How Stupid Is THIS??

"MOTH#RF^CK$R FOR WHAT!?!" - Steve Harvey



Congrats homie! Maybe next time they'll use an RPG on ya!

Braces, The Chronicles: Step 3, "Through the Wire"

Okay, maybe not quite "Through the Wire" like Kanye, but still, through a wire. Today was the day I got the wire connected to my braces. Interesting experience. I thought it would hurt way more than it did. The worst part was just having someone's hands in your mouth for 45 minutes, putting wires in, taking wires out, twisting, tightening, etc.

But right now (approx. 7 hours after the fact), it's starting to ache a little bit. But it's by no means painful...YET!

I was told by the dental assistant that it would hurt tomorrow morning. So I'll probably be complaining tomorrow.

Here's a few shots of what it looks like. It looks alot worse than it feels.

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!!!

TURN THIS JOINT UP!

The most excited thing I watched on TV this weekend

I know a lot of you may not watch auto racing. Hell, I don't watch auto racing. But my step-father is a NASCAR and IRL fan so since I was a youngin' I always knew who the popular racers were and I've sat through (of caught a part of) alot of Daytona 500 races and Indy 500 races. In fact, we even visited Daytona Speedway once while on vacation in Florida. Also, my grandfather is a racing fan and he used to tell me about Cale Yarborough (sp?), Richard Petty, and Dale Earnhardt way back in the day when I was in elementary school.

But that's just a little background for the real subject of my post. I watched the last 20 or so laps of the Indy 500 today and I have to say that this was hands-down the most excited thing I saw on television all weekend. Probably the most excitement since the Cavaliers/Wizards series. My favorite driver is probably Helio Castroneves just because he likes to climb the fence after he wins and I think that's kind of original and cool. But today, Helio must have crashed and was out early. So my next driver to root for was Danica Patrick. Yeah, I know some of you are probably tired of hearing the name or about her, but I figure it'd be historic if she won and why not make history today. But she was too far back to really challenge at the end of the race.


So here's how it went down...



Marco Andretti, a 19-year old rookie on the IRL circuit and son of Michael Andretti and grand-son of Mario Andretti (both Indy racing legends), almost won this race. He had the lead through 3 turns on the final lap and was passed by Sam Hornish, Jr. and lost by about a half-second.

The last two laps of this race were probably the most exciting laps of racing I've seen in quite some time. The announcers do a wonderific job of commentating and the commentary combined with shots of Mario Andretti in the pits was really really good and really engaged you for the last few laps. I felt bad for Marco because it definitely looked like he had the win in the bag. I wish I had some footage to show you just how close it was. Overall though, very exciting race. I was pleasantly surprised. Just thought I'd share that.

JUST WHAT HIP-HOP NEEDS...A new Homophobic Reaction Phrase (HRP)...

Seems like it's kinda cool in hip-hop to have one of those phrases you can throw out there any time you say something that might be interpreted by other guys as a potentially homosexual innuendo.

So far I've heard the following:

1. "No homo" - For me, this one is circa Camron's "Come Home With Me" album though I'm sure it's been around much longer and I am just not in the proper loop.

Usage example: "I got the new G35 with the stick in it, NO HOMO!"

2. "No brokeback" - This one here is circa last year or whenever the hell that movie BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN came out. I never saw it, but probably will watch it one day (no homo...just felt obligated to say that for some reason, don't know why). So anyway, because the movie was so friggin controversial/entertaining/popular/whatever, a lot of people (it seems) started to use "no brokeback" in the same light as "no homo"

Usage example: "Yo, we were playing ball yesterday but we wasn't sure which one to use. But lil applesauce had a couple big balls so we used his, NO BROKEBACK"

3. "50 seconds" - This one I learned from a couple friends of mine, Laf & Raheem. I am not sure where it comes from, why it started, or who came up with it. But this one is used just like the previous two. I'll refrain from giving an example on this one.

So, without further adieu, I would like to submit another Homophobic Reaction Phrase (HRP) for all my overly-virile-cannot-be-remotely-considered-soft homies out there....

[drumroll...ni99as clowning me...couple screwfaces...]


"NO JOHNNYCAKES!"

Anyone who watches the Sopranos will understand this one. Personally, I've used this maybe uh, ZERO 2 times now. I'm hoping it'll catch on with all the homophobic guys out there though who feel the need to end all their "fishy" statements with an HRP. Personally, I am trying to really get over this whole homophobia thing. I'm secure and I'm 100% heterosexual. But sometimes this whole homophobia thing kinda gets out of hand to the point where it's QUITE comical. And I know some of you are going to say I'm going Kanye West with my views on all this stuff, but Imma grown a$$ man dawg. You can either accept it or reject it.

This topic has actually even found it's way to this blog a couple times previously:

1. Don't let me catch you dancing with another dude in the club, RAY-RAY!


"Grown ass men don't dance like that with other grown ass men. I will admit a slight homophobia but I like to think that I am more open-minded than a lot of men in general. And last night helped me become a little bit more comfortable in the presence of openly gay men. While it pretty much makes my stomach turn to see something like that, I think I am now better equiped to handle such a sight! Wheww, that was tough!

Anyway, this was a kinda important moment in my battle against this slight homophobia I have. Now, for the record, DO NOT expect me to completely loose this homophobia. It's not gonna happen! Every man should have some, I believe. But I am becoming a little bit more comfortable and accepting of men who live that lifestyle, even though I don't agree with it."

2. Eff some Johnncakes, let me get some Flapjacks (shot out to Dwele)

"FYI - I will never completely lose homophobia because once you do that, you open yourself up to changing sides (and you know what I mean) and I will NEVER (yes, I said NEVER) change sides."

The moral of the story here people is, stop being so insecure and stop buying into any and every damn thing hip-hop throws at you. It's all good, but it's really not ALL good! Being overly homophobic is not necessary at all. Don't give it all up because you might end up "giving it all up"...But damn if you HAVE TO drop an HPR everytime you say something that other people want to misinterpret.

PS - In case you didn't already click on the picture above or already know, the guy at the top of the post is actually Ru Paul...

Last time I checked Frank, "THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!!!"

Some of baseball's "unwritten rules":

1. When a pitcher throws at your guy, your pitcher's throwing at their guy the next inning.

2. You don't pull a "position player" in the middle of the top or bottom of an inning.

3. You take all the supplements that you legally can so that you can hit tons of home runs before the "late-to-react" commissioner makes the supplements illegal. Oooops. I don't think that's unwritten. They've probably got it on paper at the BALCO Labs, I'm sure.

Anyway, I'll focus on #2. Now, I really don't watch or like baseball very much until playoff time or unless Albert Puhols highlights are on Sportscenter. But last night, Frank Robinson got real emotional during a post-game press conference because he pulled his catcher (a position player) during the middle of an inning (the 7th to be exact). When I say emotional, I mean he actually shed a tear for pulling a guy who was playing HORRIBLY (to put it mildly). Homie gave up 7 steals and committed 2 errors. He actually threw the ball into center field twice trying to throw out a runner stealing second. You could have put a college catcher in there and he wouldn't have been as bad. So this guy DESERVED to get pulled. But oh yeah, baseball has these unwritten rule things you gotta follow.

Well, Frank manned up and decided he wasn't going out like that yesterday. No friggin way!



Initially, my reaction to Frank's tears at the post-game press conference was WTF? Why is this dude crying because he pulled a player mid-inning? Then Stuart Scott enlightened me to rule #2 above. My reaction after that..."So the f&ck what?" The object of the game is to win! This guy gets paid what I am sure is a large sum of money per year to play well. Not to SUCK! If I don't perform well at my job, they're gonna fire me. Not send me home for the day and cry about the shyt! And this cat makes wayyyyyy more than I do, I'm sure of that. So give me a BREAK baseball purists and give me a break Frank Robinson. If this was basketball he'd be on the bench. If this were football he'd be on the bench. I don't know -ish about hockey but I bet he'd be on the bench there too! So why is it such a BIG TEAR-JERKING DEAL?

Even the catcher you pulled understood the situation. He didn't cry about it! He said even if he pop-dukes was the manager he would expect to have been pulled. So find something else to cry about man. Like the fact that your team friggin sucks!

Somebody who knows about baseball, please explain this situation to me, PLEASE! Dag, I actually typed this much about baseball. Somebody sedate me!

Say it Ain't So!!!!

Once again, the guys at Dallaspenn have given me the opportunity to give 1000 words to a picture. But because I know alot of you get tired of how much I type or how long my posts are I'll keep this one short and poetic...

"Excuse me Ms. Sugar, when I met your a$$ you was a rich world champion, now you minus a mustache"

http://dallaspenn.com/weblog/?p=750

"PULL OVA...PULL OVA!" - Eddie Murphy (RAW)

If these pictures don't disturb you just a little, you're cleared to start watching the Ellen DeGeneres show.

P.S. - If that really is Mr. Murphy, I'm gonna have to say I believe the transvestite (sp?) and Johnny Gill stuff now. Official-tissue (yeah I'm corny, so what)!

American Idol: Dag! My prediction was off!

So my homegirl (yeah, like I know her personally or something) Katharine McPhee didn't win. I was predicting a McVictory but it didn't go down!

This Taylor Hicks guy won. Woo-hoo! I guess. I don't know much about this guy other than I've seen a couple videos of him. One in which he was on the floor singing or either had just finished singing. And another where he's standing there looking star-struck. Like anyone with eyes, I noticed this guy seemed a little outside the American Idol age demographic, but I won't dwell on that too much. As a matter of fact, congrats Taylor, I wish you much success.

And oddly enough, congrats to you too Katharine!



Now you can move on with your career and not be tied to the American Idol recording contract that the winners are bound too! Perhaps you will end up on some record label who markets you very well and you will find success too! I was really hoping you'd win so I could actually have gotten my lucky prediction right, but you made it far enough to get a real shot at a career in music. I'll buy your album. So congrats to you as well!

The NBA's M.P.-FREE

"You're talking Canada I can't understand" - Ali G.



I must admit that until last night, I was still in denial about Steve Nash being the NBA's MVP. I guess because I am a huge LeBron fan I got caught up in the hype of LeBron making it to the second round (and almost beating Detroit) that I bought into the idea that he should have won the MVP award over Nash. I should never have doubted Nash.

Last night (and in retrospect now that I take off my LeBron-colored shades...at least, temporarily) Steve Nash proved to me once and for all that he's the NBA MVP.



Unfortunately for Dirk, it wasn't all smiles with Nash last night. Did you see that shot he hit with Dirk all over him in the 4th quarter? Did you see the 3-pointer he hit with Dirk guarding him to keep his team close? Did you know that on the final play of the game he was supposed to get the ball but when he realized Dallas knew the play he was unselfish enough to let Boris Diaw take the shot to win the game?

Man, that was GREAT leadership. A lot of players would take that shot no matter what, especially the league's MVP. But Nash recognized Diaw was on fire last night (like 30+ points) and decided to show his teammate that he had the confidence in him to win the game. That's leadership. That's what the MVP should do.



Could you imagine Kobe doing that? (I know, I just couldn't make this post without mentioning Kobe) I don't think so.



Could you imagine Lebron doing that? Perhaps. But with everyone in the media saying Lebron can't hit a game winner or he's not clutch, perhaps even the young Magic Jordan aka King James aka Bron-Bron would actually take the shot just to show us all that he can hit that shot when he wants to (even with a suspect jumpshot).

Back to Nash though. This guy is humble while being an amazing point guard and player in general. He's a great leader, a great teammate, and one of the best 3 point guards in the NBA. Without Nash the Suns would probably be more like the Bucks. I know I'm late everybody, but last night I gained one helluva lot of respect for Steve Nash. I might even start rooting for the Suns to win this series. MIGHT!

Sopranos: Phil done started suntin'!

For those of you who have been watching this past season of the Sopranos, you are probably coming to grips with the fact that everything is about to hit the fan. If you haven't realized it already, let me tell you what is about to hit the fan.

1. Since Vito got wacked, Tony's slightly pi$$ed with Phil. Understandably so since Phil wacked Vito knowing Tony wanted to handle it on his own. This was the real beginning of what will end up being fatal tension between these two

2. Phil's guy got shanked up like a Outback Special by Tony's men. Hey, you kill one of our guys, we know it, then you come and "bust our ballz" about it on our turf. You gonna get Emeril treatment with the ginsu (sp?). What this means is that there's about to be an all-out war between Phil's crew and Tony's crew. Phil's got a hard-on to be a boss. Tony knows this. Tony wants to keep the money coming in with as little violence as possible but he knows that since Phil's guy got wacked, there's no turning back now.

So in the last episodes, expect to see alot of bodies getting chopped up, beaten, shot, etc. It's gonna be a bloody end to the Sopranos people...Bloody!

Braces, The Chronicles: Step 2 Cont'd..."They got me for my toofus!"

LMAO!

Okay, so I just got back from the dentist's office and Imma little woozy after the anesthesia they gave me. When I walked in the lady's says "So we're putting you to sleep today."

And I'm like (in my mind): "Nah boo, I don't eff with that sleep shyt".

But in reality I reply: "Ah actually, I thought I was going to be under some mild sedation. You know, numbed basically."

To which she replies, "Oh, okay, we can do it either way."

So I proceed to go sit in the dentists chair and they take my blood pressure and I realize that I may just be getting put to sleep in the next few minutes. Then the dentist comes in and starts talking to me. I really cool guy. And judging from the military dental accolades on the wall, it appears he was a dentist for the Air Force at some point. I thought this was pretty cool for some reason. Perhaps it's because I wanted to be Maverick from Top Gun when I was a kid..."Highway to the Dangerzone" (Kenny Loggins, right?).



That was my movie. I'm telling you man!

Anyway, back to the dental experience. So they proceed to hook and IV up to my left arm. At which point I close my eyes and begin to pray. I'm not scared but I wanna make sure I get to at least stop at the pearly gates before God takes a look at all the porn on my computer and sends me to hell (LMMFAO!) Then I start thinking about how I'd die not having had a son or daughter and I realize that God definitely wants me to have kids and I become completely cool with the thought of being sedated and making it back to consciousness. I LOVE THE LORD!

So they stick this mask over my face and tell me to breathe in. In about 1.234 minutes I am beginning to feel like Pookie in New Jack City after a hit off one of those Nino Brown crack rocks. Man, this shyt was amazing. Next thing I know they're poking my mouth with needles. I assume this was novacane. I have a pretty decent threshold for pain I've inherited from my mom so the needles didn't bother me much. But once those needles poked me on both sides of my mouth, I didn't feel anything. NOTHING!

So next I notice they're beginning to dig in my grill like me and BHill on a Sunday afternoon cooking some burgers. I can kinda feel things a little but not really. So one by one I feel my teeth being extracted. But it's more like a slight tug on my mouth each time rather than any real pain.

So finally, the get all four chompers out and throw enough gauze in my mouth to dry up the baltimore harbor. So without further adieu, I present to you four former members of my personal dental association.



Just for perspective here:



I also have a shot of me all gauzed up. If you don't like blood, close your eyes...Then again, it's probably too late since you probably can see the picture below anyway.





I've been drooling like a baby for the past hour or so. Pretty annoying. But from the looks of things I should only need today and perhaps half of tomorrow to recooperate. That's SWEET! Unfortunately, I'll be walking around missing 4 teeth until next Tuesday when I get the wires inserted into my braces and we move to Braces, The Chronicles, Step 3...

Braces, The Chronicles: Step 2

Today is step two in the Braces Chronicles. If you just so happened to miss Step 1, feel free to catch up here. Today is the day that I get 4 (yes, F-O-U-R) teeth extracted. Oddly enough, I'm kind of looking forward to it. I'm ready to get this extraction stuff out the way so I can get the wires in these braces and get the initial pain of teeth movement overwith. Wish me luck today. Depending on how monstrous my mouth is after these extractions, I might actually post a picture. Depending...

Allow him to reintroduce himself....

Jay-Z performs a couple songs at the Roots concerto in NYC this past weekend....

Elton Brand <--> Karl Malone

I noticed this a few games ago. Elton Brand sinking that 15-18 foot jumper with regularity. With that same lil fade-away that a certain Utah Jazz player used to do back in the day off of pick-and-rolls from Mr. short-shorts (John Stockton).

Elton Brand is becoming the modern-day Karl Malone right in front of our eyes. How sad sad sad for us. But how great for him. Karl Malone is one of my least favorite great players of all time. Meaning, I recognize his greatness but I can't stand him. He's really one of the most understated and boring players to watch since before Tim Duncan came around. Complete and total bore to watch.

Now it looks like Elton Brand and his new look Clippers are gonna give me a fun team with a Karl Malone-esque power forward to bore me to death for 20-25 touches per game. I'm happy the Clippers are doing well. Anybody who stinks it up that long deserves some sort of shine in the end. But damn Elton. Can't you be a little more exciting. I mean during the regular season you're cool b/c I can start you on my fantasy squad and watch the points roll in with consistency. And I am not subjected to your boring style of play b/c you're in the Western conference and I live on the East coast. But during the playoffs could you please crank up the excitement in your game? Jeez?

Oh yeah, there's someone else who agrees with me sort of I guess.

Grammy Family: One verse...one song...

Lie to yaself and say Ye' ain't kill that verse/
Lie to yagirl and teller you ain't heard it hear first/
Gram-fam they gettin off like a gram on the block/
But that's lil weight they coppin what the big-boys cop/
Ye to Legend to Common damn when they gon' stop/
Been a couple years mayne, maybe they not?/
But you gotta love though the shyt so hot/

<a href="http://mike.webic.biz/grammy_family.mp3">Click here to listen</a>

Why YOU wanna go and do that?

"...if it may pop-OFF, I'll answer the question when I get yo block knocked OFF!!!"



I was told watch this video because TIP has the same bandana thing around his neck that he wore in his last video and that Kanye wore here which I hated on (shot out to Lauren). Well, I watched the video online and still haven't seen the bandana in question. But I will say that the video made me like this WACK song a little.

I personally didn't like the song when I first heard it and still don't, but I will say that it's growing on me. Especially after the Hawaii setting and gorgeous leading lady siced me a little bit.



I like TI alot. If you've been on this blog before you probably already know that. But I thought the song was a little too soft for what I am used to hearing from TI. Or maybe I just ignore the super-duper-radio-friendly joints he's done in the past. But personally, I think that "Bring Em Out" is as radio-friendly as I like TIP to get. But now that I've seen the video for "Why You Wanna" I like the song a little and it's probably gonna grow on me depending on if I hear it at a cranking cookout next or at the club or at a moment when I am in a pi$$y mood. Time will tell.

Anyway, if you've made it this far in the post you've probably watched it already. If you haven't, check it out and let me know what you think.

The "I Predicted This" Program

Step 1 - http://mcarroll4716.blogspot.com/2006/01/video-american-idolmy-pick-so-far.html

Step 2 - http://mcarroll4716.blogspot.com/2006/05/remember-who-said-it.html

Step 3...???



Now I haven't watched the show since that first post. But I picked this girl a long time ago and nobody really thought I knew anything about American Idol this year. And nobody thinks she's gonna win at this point from what I hear. Some Hicks dude is supposed to win. But just watch...

Jada needs to lay-off them dippas!

And in case you don't know what a dippa is...Pick a definition. She might be on all them joints! LMAO!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dippa

Play this shyt backwards and I guarantee you'll wake up tomorrow worshipping Satan. Will needs to figure a way to get her to leave this stuff alone and stick to acting.

Braces, The Chronicles: Step 1

LET ME SEE YA GRILL!



For years I had avoided getting braces just because I didn't want to be ridiculed. I had the opportunity to get them when I was entering high school but didn't want to get pestered so I decided against it. Little did I know that that would be the one and only opportunity my mom would give me to get my teeth professionally straightened free of charge.

So I went through high school and college without getting braces. I finally landed a job out of school with good benefits and I decided I'd get them. Well, I decided THAT about a year ago (3 years removed from college) and this year I finally went through with it.

So last week I got the separators on and it's official. Ya boy's gonna be strapped up like "I'm bunjee jumpin'" (shout out to Paul Wall). So I'm gonna kinda chronicle the major stops along the road to straight teeth (as if you guys care). So I hope I don't gross you out or embarass myself too much with pictures of my teeth. LMAO!

These separator things on my molars that are supposed to create space between my back teeth so that I can get the full-banding of braces on. So for about a week I've been walking around with gray bands in-between the last two teeth in each row of my mouth.

If you take a look at the picture below you can see some greyish bands near the back of the bottom row of my teeth...Yes, that's MY MOUTH.



Well, today was the day for the full banding. It wasn't as bad as I expected to be honest. I spent about 2 hours in there letting them dig in my mouth and I ultimately came out looking almost as good as I normally do.

Yeah right! Because I still have get 4 (read: 1-2-3-4) teeth pulled I don't have any wires in the braces right now. What this does is accentuate the crookedness of my teeth because your teeth look a lot more jacked for some reason, when you have those little silver things on them. So call me Jacked Up for about a week. But it's all good.

So here's me looking like Lupe Fiasco and shyt!



Anyway, that was the first half of my day, sitting in the orthodontist's office watching kids half or one-third my age get their braces off while my grown butt was sitting in there getting mine on. Sad, sad, sad.

"I love you too JohnnyCakes!"

This is what you have to both HATE and LOVE about the Sopranos...Friggin' Vito and Mr. Johnnycakes!

You have to hate it because, as a heterosexual male, you honestly don't want to see this stuff while watching an HBO series about a mafia family. I mean, I'm pretty secure about my sexuality and I am losing my little homophobia and alladat ...HOLD UP...

FYI - I will never completely lose homophobia because once you do that, you open yourself up to changing sides (and you know what I mean) and I will NEVER (yes, I said NEVER) change sides.

Back to my post...Okay, so you have to hate watching gimpy leg Vito get it on with Mr. Handlebar mustache just off the strength of the rather awkwardness of the whole relationship. Ill!

BUT, you gotta love that the writer's of the Soprano's incorporated this into the story. I mean, it's gonna undoubtedly force some people who don't want to think about that type of stuff to actually have a discussion about it. And even if the discussion ends in nothing progressive or positive, at least it's being talked about. That's the first step in opening people's minds a little, right?

So while what you're about to watch below is downright atrociously disgusting and almost vomit-inducing for me...It's one reason why the Soprano's is a great show!



$20 says Vito gets popped by the end of the next episode. Bet Johnnycakes is gonna cry like a str8 girl!

Zadroonas Papoonas

In honor of my man L's rage over Zydrunas Ilgauskas, I am creating a post dedicated to the total uselessness of 'Z' as a 7-foot center*.

* - This is relevant to this year's playoffs only.

From L:

"Could you post a piece on your blog about how useless he is? He really pisses me off. A lot of basketball players do, but he can be especially useless.

How can you be 6 or 7-foot infinity, have played the game most of your life, take home millions of dollars a year and not have a solid grasp of fundamentals? For that much money, all of these guys should be jumping out of the gym and doing backflips into the hoop, but at least make your lay-ups!

I can easily name twenty NBA players who deserve a solid beat-down. I'd appreciate it if you started with him."

Uh, why YES L...I sure can. Hmmmmnnnn, where do I begin.

Zydrunas Papoonas (as I like to call him) is what I like to call the Sean Zabonis Smits of the NBA. The reason being is that at any given moment he can be either Sean Bradley (complete BUM), Arvetis Sabonis (mediocre, but okay at times), or Rick Smits (decent but not a real impact player). Becuase he is not aggressive, doesn't demand the ball 20 times a game, and often screws up plays that should be quite easy for a seven-footer to complete, he has absolutely no identity outside of being tall, foreign, and playing with LeBron James.

Aside from that, really, who is this guy? Did we know about him prior to LeBron playing in Cleveland. I know I didn't. Then again, I didn't care about the Cavs until my favorite player was drafted by them (LBJ).

Would you do a sex-scene with Halle Berry?

It's more of a rhetorical question for the fellas. I'm sure 99.9% of the guys you and I know (not to mention the rest across the world) would probably give up a limb to even fake sex with Halle Berry. Hold up, some guys probably ake it all the time (nah mean). And now that I think of it, half you ladies out there might not admit it publicly, but you probably wouldn't mind either. But anyway, I digress!

Fellas, there is that .1% who would NOT die to even fake it with her. Without any further adieu I introduce that 0.1%...BRUCE WILLIS!



Willis said: "I get all awkward. She's beautiful. It's almost like looking at an eclipse of the sun.

That was taken from here

Yeah Bruce, I might feel a little awkward at first too. That is until I dove under those sheets like a 5-year-old diving on a slip-n-slide (and the picture below is PRECISELY how I would look).

Look Ma, no hands!



Of course, my slip-n-slide move into the bed would be 100% contingent on whether or not I was single, under the influence of alcohol, and on a closed-set or a set with no men of ambiguous sexuality. Just a few caveats, right?

How do you go from Nakatomi plaza to Demi Moore to this? Man, he's a friggin disgrace to men everywhere! Bruce immediately goes from rough, tough, macho and respected...



To THIS! A freaking BAMA/TOOL:



It's gonna take another Die Hard film for me to get over this. Then again, that may not do it. It's probably gonna take something much more grand and unbelievable. Like Bruce stealing Demi back from Ashton Kutcher. Man, this guy is CRAZY!

"Hey you with the C-section and no kids!"

Why do I like this song so much??? I don't know why, but this song just gets me pumped! It's not the rhymes. Must be the beat. It's just catchy. And that lil dance too. Excuse the expletives...

"Kinda hard to imagine, like Kanye West..."

Wearing this scarf/ascot/ILL!!!!



If you're in the DC area, please forward this flick to Huggy Low-Down because this is hands-down the BAMA OF THE WEEK!

Come on man. You are making it really hard for people to defend some of the stuff you do...Now this! Come on Kanye! You are leaning a little too far to the left with your fashion sense! I'm a huge fan of your music, but you're making it really hard to be a fan of your fashion sense. I mean jeez! You brough in the blazer thing. That was cool. But then you went with the popped collar thing, which I thought was a lil shaky and never tried it for fearing of being a BAMA...Then you went with the collared shirt under the sweater thing...I thought that was a lil shaky too but I tried it once. Thought I might be able to pull it off...NAH! Just wasn't me. And now, now...You come out with a scarf/ascot thing on! Over-the-top! Just because it is Louis Vuitton does not make it tight. And one LAST THING...You my friend, are NOT in a position to really be rocking multi-colored anything considering LOTS OF PEOPLE are already thinking you're a lil "soft" (if you know what I mean).

Question: Doesn't Keyshia Cole look like somebody just clowned Kanye and she REALLY wants to laugh but she's just holding it in?

Remember WHO said it...

I told you guys A LONG TIME AGO who was going to win American Idol. So when it happens, don't forget who said it first.

http://www.idolonfox.com/contestants/katharine_mcphee/

Can I get a WITNESS!

If you watched last night Wizards game vs. the Cavs, then you know Gilbert Arenas is probably regretting this...



Uh, yeah Gil'...WE ARE!

It's pretty sad when not only fans but players realize they're watching a kid (Lebron's only 21) become potentially the greatest basketball player ever and sit back in amazement, shock, and awe!

Pimpin Be Easy!...What happens when a rapper does the RIGHT thing

Four members of his "entourage" gets shot!

"Four members of T.I.'s entourage were involved in a Cincinnati highway shooting early Wednesday morning (May 3), leaving one dead and the other three wounded.".

More here:

http://www.sohh.com/articles/article.php/8891

"T.I. told his entourage to get into vans and leave."

I applaud TIP for doing that. But he had to know he was setting them up. You are in someone else's hometown and you catch beef. Then on top of that, you are highly conspicuous and you roll out and have to drive through unfamiliar (presumably) territory to get back to a "safe" location. It's not a shock that those Cincinatti cats popped off like that.

Now TIP is probably sitting around mad that he tried to do the right thing. He could have just let his entourage wild out and have a shoot-out in the parking lot. That may have cost a couple lives lost rather than the one person that has passed. I know you're probably saying that at least it was only one person who died. But damn, isn't ONE life too many! Stuff like this makes me mad b/c TIP apparently didn't try to be a gangsta, he tried to do the right thing. And nikkas still decided to be nikkas. Sad!

If I was signing a recording contract today I'd be worried IF...

1. Behind me there was a rack of clothing
2. The CEO of my record company had on flip-flops while I signed the contract
3. I am not in a conference room or on a dais
4. Puffy is the CEO of the record company I am signing with

I mean, whether or not I get jerked on my deal. I know Imma get pushed back when its time for my album to drop and I'm also gonna have to wait until the other 5 wack artists on my label have dropped their albums and gone half-gold. Not to mention that Imma get teased with the idea of fame b/c I am associated with Diddy now and because I will be doing cameo appearance in a ton of videos by artists who aren't really hot, but somehow their videos get spins on BET and MTV.

Check out more flicks here: http://dallaspenn.com/weblog/?p=683

"What you doing man!"..."Just grabbin' some NUTS!"

Reggie Evans grabs Chris Kaman's "jewels" while going for a rebound.



I've got a LOT of respect for Chris Kaman for not punching Reggie Evans in his face after this. But DAMN! I think I would have hit him. "You messin' wit' my kids man!"

Those Volkswagen commercials seem to be working!

You may or may not have read my recent post about the Volkswagen ads called "Safe Happens" where you get a birds-eye view of how it feels to be in a car crash. Well, it appears that these ads haven't just been catching my eye, but that of most of America.


"Volkswagen says that since the ads touting Jetta's crash safety began on April 10, requests for brochures are up 37% at call centers and 56% on the Web compared with the first 15 days of March, and Internet requests for dealer price quotes are up 58%."

Though requests for info may be up, like I said, these commercials do not make me want to buy a Jetta. I doubt they'd make any of us want to do anything but buckle up our safety belts while we're on the road.

It was interesting to see that I am not the ONLY person out there who is being affected by these ads whether it is in a good or a bad way. So while I don't think this is gonna boost sales for VW's in general (and definitely not the Jetta), I am still gonna cop that VW Touareg at some point in time. Fellas, don't sweat me afterward and start going out and getting this joints. In the words of Jay-Z..."that was ME FIRST!"

Well, not yet. But for now I can enjoy these: