Saturday I was listening to my iPod (shout out to *someone* for the iPod that I can't name for fear of being decapitated) and got another taste of Nas' "Black Girl Lost" from his album, "It Was Written". I use a line from this song all the time when talking to my boys about some of the crazy women we meet or know:
"...there goes a black girl lost!"
This song however, is not a joke and actually a very good reflection of some women. I've got it posted below for you to listen to but I'll go over some of the highlights real quick:
- The dialogue prior to the song: I have personally overheard conversations like this between women. It not only disgusts me but upsets me.
"Reminiscent of my first time up in a chick/You was innocent, but now you rent-a-dick, wear the tightest shit/Chanel lookin real, airbrushed nails/Hit the gym, hit the scales, heaven-sent but negligent (so fine..)"
"Wishin I could be the one man; but you juggle/way too many Willies all in one hand/You wanna run up in clubs, gettin rubbed on/Niggaz pull your hair, shake your fat rear/Get your fuck on - followin week, you back there/But what you stuck on, weed, clowns and cars/Puffin with some lil nigga, husband not knowin she's out/Could you believe Eve, Mother Earth of the seas/Niggaz thirst you, you just let em hurt you and leave/What up mah, frontin like you naive/Pusherman's whip, callin police when you flip"
To get his mind all you do is give him somethin priceless/Cause in time he'll realize the thighs is all he needs/More than weed, then you hit him off with lies and greed (deceit, yeah)/There you go again, startin wars, makin me more yours/Seem to get a kick out of keepin me on all fours
Igloos of ice trickin on you, you never listen/to this nigga spendin Franklins on tennis anklets/Must've had a bad deal in the past though/Can't even keep it real with a nigga with cash flow/
Say men are all the same, what we need to do is break this chain
You gettin interviewed, but your boss is into gettin screwed/Typical day that the black girl sees/Comin home wantin more from a college degree
Where are you focused, on legit niggaz and where the coke is/Nice and Thug Life niggaz, yo you seem hopeless/Your value - too much to be measured, I wonder how you/could ever be played, your pussy worth gold amountin to/more than the world, but not knowin nothin about you/You leavin the crib, takin all your kids out to/drop them off, lettin some nigga knock you off/
So hot and soft, that's the same thing that got you lost (you should be ashamed)/Growin up seein it, it should remind you, you bein lied to/Everything that move be inside you/Sacred as you are, left with these wannabes to guide you/I watched you, hard to knock you, I tried not to/They spot you out dancin topless in your drawers/Damn look, there goes a black girl lost
Nas - Black Girl Lost
Listening to that song by Nas made me think about Jay-Z's "B&tches and Sisters", which is one of my favorite songs by Jay-Z because it definitely reflects how a lot of guys think! Nas's song is more lyrical and less straight-forward than Jay-Z's but they both serve the same purpose I believe. That is, to expose some of the good characteristics of women and some of the flaws or hang-ups (mental and emotional) that *some* women have.
"(Bitch) I got a sister who schooled me to shit you chickens do/And I'll just put the entire last verse here because it's all relevant
Tricking fools, got a whole Robin Givens crew that I kick it to/
They be hipping dudes, how you chickens move, I be listening to/
(Bitch) (Bitch) (Bitch)/
Don't make me say it thrice, you acting all up tight/
All sididdy like, like/
You ain't a (Bitch), You ain't no better cuz you don't be fucking rappers/
You only fuck with actors, you still getting fucked backwards/
(Bitch) Unless you fucked a dude on his own merit/
And not the way he dribbles or ball or draw lyrics/
You're a (Bitch), No ma, you're a (Bitch)"
"(Bitch) Sisters get respect, bitches get what they deserve/Jay-Z - B&tches & Sisters
SIsters work hard, bitches work your nerves/
Sisters hold you down, bitches hold you up/
Sisters help you progress, bitches will slow you up/
Sisters cook up a meal, play their role with the kids/
Bitches in street with their nose in your biz/
Sisters tell the truth, bitches tell lies/
Sisters drive cars, bitches wanna ride/
Sisters give-up the ass, bitches give-up the ass/
Sisters do it slow, bitches do it fast/
Sisters do their dirt outside of where they live/
Bitches have niggers all up in your crib/
Sisters tell you quick "you better check your homie"/
Bitches don't give a fuck, they wanna check for your homie/
Sisters love Jay cuz they know how 'Hov is/
I love my sisters, I don't love no bitch"
If these two guys could get together and do an album and have songs like these where they're both rapping this way, I'd love it! But unfortunately, it looks like Nas is going to drop an album November 7th only for it to be subsequently overshadowed by Jay-Z dropping an album a week or 2 or 3 later...Man, maybe hip-hop IS DEAD!
26 comments:
So my question is why does it seem like all the brothers go after the b*tches and not the sisters? Why do you all go after the chicks you can stick and keep it moving? Why not invest in something that is quality? I don't understand that....you have all of this analysis...YET that is who a lot, not all, but a lot of brothers tend to go for...let's just be real...I am what a size 14...thick...not sloppy at all...but yes I am thick, and I carry myself well...dress my butt off...cute if I must say so myself, but I don't get the time of day...period...so brothers don't even know how down to earth I am and all of that good stuff so I won't even go there...but I barely get looked at....ok maybe that's not true...but I mean let's just be real...you all, a lot-not all, stayed glued to the video woo woo and go after the woo woo, then get made cause she is a woo woo...if it looks, acts, and talk like a duck then it is one...but then you want to complain about it...let's just be real....break it down for me....I am trying to understand
I'll save the long answer for another day or another post...Short answer, because we more visual than emotional. That's why we are attracted to women who dress less classy and more assy. Inside, we know it's not good for us, but we like to see a fine azz woman. Any guy will tell you that he values the inside of a woman much more than the outside, but we all have the WEAKNESS of being easily visually stimulated. And many of us let that consume us moreso than the things that really matter.
I always tell people that looks get you in the door but your personality keeps you inside. I definitely feel that way, I ain't gonna front. If I'm not attracted to you, then it probably won't matter how great you are on the inside. But at the same time, what's attractive to me could be what's ugly to everyone else, so it's all relative. Meaning, I could like someone's appearance that everyone else thinks is butt-ass ugly.
But the older men get, the more we get it and realize that it's what's on the inside that matters. I've noticed that in myself and I've noticed that in my closest friends. It's a growth and maturity thing.
And I bet you get the time of day from alot of guys, just not the ones you WANT the time of day from. BET! So you can't really complain and neither can I because I get attention from people I am not attracted to all the time. And I complain too. So I believe we're in the same boat.
Not true...I have had some very handsome men approach me, but they just come off ALL wrong...so for me its in your approach, straight up...if you come out the side of you neck I cna't get with you, I just can't...we are both floating up that river of "whatever man" so it is what it is....
So do you really know females like this Mike? Do you really come across and deal with the b#$@%es that Jay is Nas are talking about? If you do, what's up with that? How are you attracting or dealing with these types of females?
I really have a problem with what you said in your reply to Tiff. "That's why we are attracted to women who dress less classy and more assy. Inside, we know it's not good for us, but we like to see a fine azz woman. " Uhh... I don't know Mike. That just rubbed me the wrong way for some reason. I don't get it though. Assuming I know the type of man you are, how are you more attracted to a girl showing her behind out of a mini skirt than one with class? Are you serious?
JAC. Yes I do meet those types. But they don't get past the first phone conversation. LOL. I've dealt with all types of women (though I'm sure I haven't covered every base) either through dating, friendship, happenstance, or mutual friends.
Typically, I am attracted (see my first response) to them and they *may* be attracted to me and I just don't find out that they are the way they are until I have a conversation with them. This can take place when you meet them or a few days later when you talk on the phone or the next time you see them.
Sorry my response rubbed you the wrong way. I am not saying I live by that or that it's right or that it's a legitimate excuse/reasoning... I'm just being honest. Most dudes would give you some sort of circuitous answer or just tell you what they wanted you to hear.
"how are you more attracted to a girl showing her behind out of a mini skirt than one with class?" I never said that did I? anyway, I am attracted to a woman in a business suit far more than a woman in some hoochie outfit. My friends can vouch for that. But I would be lying if I didn't say that I was attracted to the tits and azz...That's just me being a man. I just no better than to go after a girl like that instead of going after a girl who handles herself with class. But attraction is different than pursuit. I'm attracted to women everyday, but I am very strategic with who I approach and pursue. You can fault me for being attracted to the hoochie in the club all you want. But fault me more for pursuing her and wasting MY time.
Again, please see my distinction between attraction and pursing/courting. Only a dummy would try to turn a woo woo (shot out to Tiff) into housewife. I got eyes, but I got a lot more SENSE!
Ok. I hear you Mike. I do see the distinction between attraction and pursuing. And you are right. You never said in plain english that you would be more attracted to a woo woo (wink) than a woman with class. I guess I just got that impression from your reply. Sorry for putting words into your mouth, so to speak.
But let me say this about your most recent comment: "that's just me being a man". When it comes to attraction, I guess I can let that go. (as if you need my approval to say that. =D ) But this business about how a man will be a man is nonsense? I'm tired of hearing females and males alike utter that mess. I remember you, in fact, saying that that's just an excuse in response to my post on "men are only as faithful as their options". And I agree with you. It's definitely a cop out. But again, in the case of physical attraction, I can understand. I don't necessarily agree with it, but I understand.
It's cool JAC. I actually alot of the same sentiments you made in that last comment to some women. Why do you always want the guy that you know is going to cause you drama? What attracts you to the thugs? I don't get THAT. But I stopped trying to understand it to be honest. I just accepted for what it is and I DO ME.
I feel your qualms with me saying a man being a man. But what do you want me to be attracted to? By nature women have breasts and buttocks and I'm definitely heterosexual. So what do you want me to be attracted to? Better yet, how can I appreciate your character and your mind if I don't know you or have never met you? Most people meet by first looking at each other and realizing there's an attraction and someone takes the initiative to approach. Men see a women who is cute or has some PHYSICAL attribute they are attracted to and they holla at a girl.
Girls do the same thing, they're just normally not the ones to holla. I KNOW you know what I mean and I KNOW you see a guy and say, "oh he's attractive". Based on what, you reading his mind and knowing he's a God-fearing, intelligent, chivalrous man? Hell to the naw! You allow him to get your number because 1) you think he's cute and 2) you felt he was funny or came at you the right way or whatever. And if a dude is cool and came at you like a real man but he's not attractive to you...*A girl* will be like: "Yeah girl, he was nice, but..." And you can fill in the rest. Or even if you don't say it, you think it.
Again, attraction/looks gets you in the door and your personality and character keep you inside. That's pretty much how I roll. Whether or not people agree with that or think I am wrong for that is for them to worry about. I think most guys who are mature and intelligent (which I consider myself to be) and have some confidence in themselves carry it this way. Dane, would you agree?
How did I know my name was gonna come up in this one. LOL. Bone, I think you handled yourself pretty well in this discussion especially since you were having it with 2 women. I am pretty much in agreement with everything you said. I like the fact that you called reference to it being the same for women (thugs love) as it is for men.
Yeah Dane. It was hard b/c this conversation doesn't typically go well over email. In person, I think I could have made my points alot clearer. I do get where they're coming from and I definitely feel them on their gripes because from the outside looking in (women looking at us) it looks BAD I'm sure.
For the record you still have some loop holes in your theory period...and No a thug doesn't impress me...and you men got it good because at least you can see the azz and tits and see what you get, we on the other hand have NO FREAKING CLUE what it is that we may have to "work with" since we keeping it so real...
That's why if you can't come at me correctly, it doesn't matter what you look like, what shoes you got on, what watch you rocking, or what car you are driving all of that is superfical...I don't know...I still think "a man will be a man" "we are visual" I mean ok fine...but I still think to a certain extent its all bullshyt...that's just my opinion...yes looking and pursuing are two totally different things...but I guess to me it seems like you all do a whole lot of looking at woo woos than you do pursuing quality sisters...
And I guess my other issue is why is it that brothers can sit back and discuss women and their flaws but as soon as we do it, its another "bring the brother down" "male bashing session" that makes no sense to me...
And here lately you just seem to be on this kick about woo woos and their flaws...why don't you talk about the real "women" sistahs that you know and what's really good with them...
Give me a break with all of this analysis of the Black woman...analysis the Black man and do something about your condition and then holla at me about our sect...
And NO I am not upset or offended because I know who I am but, I have just really been thinking about this and it really basically pissed me off...but I am done now...Holla
I feel you Tiff.
As far as me being on woo woos and their flaws, that's just what happened to cross my bloglines or email lately so that stuff came to mind. I am not harping on them. This isn't an attack, it's an observation. I am just giving my opinion on what is in the news. I have had numerous posts where I bigged up women and/or showed my love for women.
"it seems like you all do a whole lot of looking at woo woos than you do pursuing quality sisters..." Personally, I know I don't fall in this category so I won't drag the attraction/pursuance thing out any more. I've never been in a relationship with a girl who wasn't a "quality sistah" so I think that speaks for my personal tendencies. But Imma damn sure LOOK. LOL.
I firmly believe in what I said about attraction and pursuance, and I think it goes both ways.
And we sit back and discuss quality sistahs just as much as we discuss the jumpoff chicks. Don't think it's all one-sided.
Analyzing the black man...Done that, doing that, will do that. You should already know some of the things I've been involved in (perhaps not the more recent stuff) and just how I am in general when it comes to uplifting and empowering black men (Rites of Passage), so I find it humorous for you to say that to me. I'll assume that was a general statement. LOL.
Dane, I guess our couple of comments made Tiff feel like we thought we'd gotten a "win"...So she had to come and lay the hammer down! LOL. She raised some very good points even though I may not completely agree with them all. I can still dig where she's coming from.
"Better yet, how can I appreciate your character and your mind if I don't know you or have never met you?"
What! What Mike?! Do you appreciate my character and mind even though you've never met me?
lol. I think I have to agree with you on one thing. This conversation would definitely be better in person because I would LOVE for you to have seen my facial expressions when reading your comment.
Dane. Mike. Have either of you ever met a person you were not physically attracted to, and yet still became very close associates, friends, buddies with that person? I'm sure you have. I'm sure you've met that girl that didn't necessarily turn you on but you would absolutely put her in the category of "classy girls". And since I KNOW that you would date ONLY classy ladies, she just might end up being an option! Right? Or no? Am I opening up the issue of not settling and how you want it all...a woman that makes you give a double take AND just happens to be classy, God-fearing, and intelligent?
I don't know ya'll. I just don't know about this one. I'm not saying that I don't want you to be physically attracted to a woman. You know I'm not saying that. My point is that a person's personality, intellect, demeanor, etc. matter SO much more.
To be honest with you, I'm not interested in a man who hollas at me because he thinks I look good. Men who approach females for that reason and that reason alone is a dime a dozen. I understand the concept of initial attraction. It's a very compelling force. But when you approach a pretty girl with all the azz and tits in the world, don't set yourself up by getting excited. I recommend that you keep a mentality that says, 'ok, she's bad as I don't know what, but that means nothing to me until I can "appreciate [her] character and [her] mind". Feel me?
In LA, pretty faces and fine men are EVERYWHERE, which is why you have to be VERY picky and VERY selective when you choose who you want to get to know. So I, along with many LA men that I know, look at people based on their character FIRST. Not on their looks.
"To be honest with you, I'm not interested in a man who hollas at me because he thinks I look good. Men who approach females for that reason and that reason alone is a dime a dozen. I understand the concept of initial attraction. It's a very compelling force. But when you approach a pretty girl with all the azz and tits in the world, don't set yourself up by getting excited. I recommend that you keep a mentality that says, 'ok, she's bad as I don't know what, but that means nothing to me until I can "appreciate [her] character and [her] mind". Feel me?"
EXACTLY!
Mike you should know me better than that to take what I said as a personal, this has been a general conversation with general observations on the topic and on the mentality of ourselves and our peers period...knowing you and getting to know Dane, I know that you are both quality men....JUST like you should know that myself and JAC are quality sistahs...
There is nothing wrong with looking, BUT when you look and have these double standards that's my issue...period...I still feel as though there are loops in your theory and that's my personal opinion...I don't get it, just like you aren't getting everything that I am saying...like I said "that man will be a man...I am gonna look" all of that is straight up bullshyt...just is...but yes I will agree that physical attraction is the start, but it is so much more than that...so much more to me, and who I am, who you are...just in general...and I am sure that you all big up the sistahs but just like its frustrating to you to be a good brother and feel as though you get looked over for the THUG its extremely frustrating to be a good sistah and constantly be looked over for a woo woo...period! It really is...azz and tits come a dime a dozen...quality comes far and view in between...that's just the real...
that's it and that's all from my point of view...
Yeah this would be good over some cards, a beer and a piece of my baked chicken...LOL...in person...
JAC, what I meant was meeting in the setting of meeting you on the street, in the club, lounge, or at a friend's get-together, or some other typical place rather than online. I should have specifically stated that, sorry. I definitely appreciate your character and personality even though I've never met you.
"Have either of you ever met a person you were not physically attracted to, and yet still became very close associates, friends, buddies with that person?" Yep. I was going to go into that, but I decided not to b/c, well, this is a comments section on a blog and it's something that would require a different type of forum to speak on it thoroughly.
"And since I KNOW that you would date ONLY classy ladies, she just might end up being an option! Right?" Yes. But there's another issue with that and it's crossing the line of friendship. I definitely have several friends that fall into the category you mentioned above. And I have friends that fall into that category that are HOT. But because of the friendship, I would be reluctant to pursue anything romantic. This one is another conversational piece.
And you are right in that the intangibles matter so much more. I agree and I feel like I get slighted by women in that regard. But I also understand that I may not be attractive to some women and that is a part of the overall attraction you have to a person. You guys can't front and say you'd be with a guy who was str8 unattractive but the nicest guy in the world. I refuse to believe it b/c I know one or both of you has had THAT guy try to talk to you; in the right way and with class. But you still went in the other direction.
"ok, she's bad as I don't know what, but that means nothing to me until I can "appreciate [her] character and [her] mind" Me and you are on the same page. I'm starting to think my whole perspective on this situation is either coming off wrong or poorly worded.
But like you mentioned about your situation in LA, it's all relative to you, your experiences, the people you've met, and your view of the opposite sex.
Interesting discussion.
Dude have you seen the guys I dated...puh leeze, Otis was NOT fine, neither was Calvin...I have never dated the FINE OMG he is FINE brother...never...even TPR was fashionable and sexy but not OMG FINE...so give me a break...seriously...get your mind right on that one...I just really had to get that record str8 fo real...
Its always about the other stuff the mind set with the person...I could really go there but I won't...i will leave it lone...
LOL. My bad Tiff. I must admit though that I didn't know. I haven't met but one dude you have talked to like that (that I know of).
Ladies, we gotta talk about this one on the cruise if the time and opporunity presents itself. You know, like at dinner or something when we'll all be sitting together chatting anyway.
I must admit though, that you quality ladies are definitely making me think more about all this stuff we're talking about. That's a good thing.
Interesting discussion indeed. That's for being cool, casual and intelligent with your responses.
I thought we weren't talking this stuff on the cruise. ;)
RIGHT! LOL. Ya'll got me eating those words now! We'll see though.
Puh Leeze you all can THINK we won't talk about this "stuff" on teh cruise but I know Us and it will come up in some or fashion...
Okay, is this the record for most replies on one Blog...GEEZ! for the record Mike I have been in an inspection meeting and am just getting to this at lunch. I have NOT intentionally left you out to dry on this one. You know conversations like this are right up my ally. I think this was a very good and interesting discussion however it's the type of joint I see getting heated had it been in person.
Tif, you have never ever dated a guy based on a physical attraction...NEVER? Even if it was just until you realized he was a jerk...not once? If so I truly commend you on that.
oh yeah....what cruise are you all going on? And when? I have never been on a boat before so I have been wanting to go on a cruise for a minute now. I had plans to do it this year on my B-Day (October 2nd) but those plans kinda fell thru when I became single again...LOL.
I think it would get heated in person, but then again it would still be respectful...you know one of those joints...
Honestly, Dane, i never dated anyone until I really got to know them...that's just me...all the really "pretty" of "OMG FINE" brothers don't really approach me...don't know...but then again I don't get approached to often maybe because I stay looking serious...a cutie sat by me on the train today, but he only commented about me reading the article on the Redskins he didn't say to much else to me...he was a Cowgurls fan...he was average handsome dark brother, but he didn't try to holla...who knows...I don't...but no Dane, I don't get approached by those guys...I guess I don't compliament them enough...who the hell knows...
And I sent you the cruise info...holla at Mike...
Dane, I sent out that Cruise info to the Forum a minute ago...New Years...Miami, Key West, Mexico...yadayada. Ya'll boys was bowlshytting!
And this would undoubtedly get passionate (I gotta make the distinction between passionate and heated here) in person. But that's a good thing.
Man I haven't been keeping up with the Forum dogg so I may have been on that BS but it's likely I just overlooked it. Who knows!!!
Dane. Come on the cruise!!!
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