Happy DEVIL'S HOLIDAY!!!

I mean Halloween.

I like to think this is a bit better than my past halloween greetings (watch your back before you click...) (LMMFAO). Anyway, Halloween is a "holiday" that I am pretty much indifferent towards at this age and probably will be until I have some lil crumb-snatching, sugar over-dosing, eat anything a stranger gives you on Halloween KIDS. Currently, the highlight of Halloween for me each year is the party they have at my job from 3pm to 5pm where I do not have to work...Yet I can go upstairs to the Halloween party, grab a Heineken or Sam Adams (courtesy of my employer) and make corny jokes about work with my co-workers that nobody outside of the party room would ever care about or find the least bit humorous. Aside from that, I also garner some weird sort of satisfaction out of deciding how I am going to duck all the little whipper-snappers who come by my door in hopes of getting some candies ("I like dee KANDEEZ!"). I love the kids though :-)

My normal methods of avoidance include making sure I'm not home or cutting off the porch light. And this year will be even more interesting since I have a new place and I HAVE TO BE HOME between 4 and 6pm today because the friggin' Comcast installation guy is coming by. Maybe I should dress up like one of them for Halloween? But more likely than not, this afternoon I will be getting some candy on my way home and helping someone's child cause a ridiculous amount of havoc over the next week as they binge on nothing but sugar-based, energy inducers.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE KIDS and I don't have a problem handing out candy. Just haven't done it in a couple of years because I've been out of town, or just away from the crib (see aforementioned excuses for being a butthole on Halloween).

But I digress. My real aim in this post is to show you some of the best Halloween costumes I could muster from a Google search. Check 'em out:

I could only hope to get this lucky one day...I would definitely give her some candy. That's for sure.


Ever seen a dude with a cameltoe? YUCK!


Sting m RIGHT NOW...PLEASE! Where? Girl I don't give a fugggggggggg?


The walking one-liner.


Is that Ms. Peaches??


LMAO


I'd rather see someone with their pants saggin'...


Spiderman must be COLD


Nasty mutha...


Oooops...That's her NORMAL shyt.


HA haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!


Interesting...


My favorite..."Whatchu doing there boi!?!!" (shot out to Mart-INNNNNNN!)

Let the shopping begin...Well, in about 4 weeks anyway

For those of you who are already excited about Christmas shopping or who just want to get it out of the way as quickly and as cheaply as possible, I am passing along a link that my homegirl sent me to a website that lists some of the Black Friday sales that'll be taking place at various popular retailers.

Included on this list are stores like:

• Target
  
• Best Buy
  
• Staples
  
• Kmart
  
• And more....
  

Additionally, there's a link to coupons for many stores and you can even sign-up to be notified via email of when new ads are posted for the various stores (technology is YOUR FRIEND). All this...About a month ahead of time. Whew! I guess this is supposed to give people time to really do their "research" on who's going to have the best sales. I hope you guys find this useful.

Blast from the past: Beach Boys - Kokomo

My co-worker Brian was at my desk yesterday and for some reason he had this song in his head and proceeded to sing it. Initially it was shocking to hear, but then I remembered how when I was 12 years old this video used to come on and I'd be singing just like he was singing at my desk yesterday. This joint was MY SH&T back in the day.

Maybe some of you guys feel the same way...



Did you see "Uncle Jessie" (John Stamos)? THROWBACK!

Just Bought a Cadillac...Throw Some D's on that...

Rich Boy - Throw Some D's



I honestly cannot understand 80% of the speech in this song but I can understand the hook and for some reason, it entertains me. This video is in the vein of Jim Jone's joint in that they are so funny that I am tickled by them. This joint is kinda catchy though with that crazy beat and the hook.

I think I watch way too much MTV Jams.

What Can BROWN do for me?

Sheeeeeiiiiit...Not a d@mn thing! I'm too cheap for that!

It's about midnight and I am in the middle of packing up the entire bottom level of my apartment. Totally sux. Aside from discovering that there's a shitload of mouse "droppings" in my friggin living room closet (yeah, I ain't afraid to admit that shyt), there's just WAYYY more stuff in this place than I thought there was. I've managed to accumulate so much CRAP that I actually enjoy tossing most of this stuff out. I also enjoy knowing that I have some stuff to donate to the Salvation Army. Which, knowing how often my mother goes there might end up at my mom's fuggin' house anyway (LMMFAO). Ever met someone who gets excited when they see a "new" thrift store...That's my MOM.

I am pretty much finished with the bottom level (living room and kitchen) but I still have my bedroom (read, "hell") to pack-up and the bathroom to take care of. What sucks is knowing that I am going to have to come back here at some point between Sunday and next Wednesday to clean the whole place up just to ensure I get my full security deposit back. Just thinking about that totally sucks!

I'm taking tomorrow off from work to pack all day and go over to the new diggs and sweep, and do the obligatory disinfection of the bathroom (even if it does seem clean, I still gotta clean it up off GP). But don't worry my LUVS (read, Dane and JAC who I admire for having the patience to read the shyt I write), I am a dedicated wannabe-WebNerd so I will be bloggin' still. But hopefully I'll get everything packed and in a movable state tomorrow before say, midnight. I'm sure I'll be running to Home Depot and Target and Walmart at some point(s) during the day tomorrow so that'll undoubtedly slow me down a little. But I guess that's part of what people have been referring to as the "joy of moving into a new home". Uhhhhh, SURE!

Anyway, I'm about to get off this thing and stop showing how much of a WebNerd I really would like to be and get back to doing some less e-things.

One-Dun-Son! And a special shot out to Dane Diggidy who will be going through this same shyt in about a week or two (I assume). Come join the club pimpin!

VIDEO: Fellas, this joint is FOR US!!!

Ciara's killing it in this joint:

Ciara - Promise



What I like:

• The microphone leaning and rocking. That's some dope videography right there!
  
• Ciara in that all BLACK...Catwoman? YESSSSS!
  
• The sensuality of the song. The song is crazy sexy. Almost shockingly sexy from Ciara
  
• Can we say, 6-PACK? Sheeeeeiiiit, her legs aren't bad either (understatement)
  
• Stilettos...Even in the stripper-stilletos she's classy/sexy.
  
• Breathe-in, breathe-out. The stomach inflation/deflation thing was a bitch much with her body positioned that way...Okay, let me stop playing, that achieved the intended effect on THIS male viewer.
  
• The Mary J-esque wig jump-off.

What I dislike:

• That hellified weave she has in the beginning scenes
  
• Her stylist's relentless pursuit of BUTCH! I mean d@mn, we understand she can dance like hell, but Bey can too and you don't see her in sweatpants and hoodies and shyt! Mi$$y Elliott MUST have something to do with this shyt!

Overall:
Fortunately there's no way those two dislikes could overshadow the ABSOLUTE SEXY-HOTNESS that is contained in the 4:27 seconds of this video! LOL. This is easily the sexiest video out right now. EASILY!

I always liked Ciara from day one because I thought: 1) She's cute; 2) She was the next Aaliyah; and 3) I liked the fact that she could dance her butt off and make it look natural and without effort. Now she's stepping up the sexuality a bit and hopefully her singing ability will be a little better on this second CD as well. This is one helluva video to get people talking though. I'm sure this'll be in rotation on 106 & South Park real soon!

Shot out to JAC for sending me this joint.

Random Miscellaneousness

New Jigga - Lost Ones

(If this doesn't work, click on the link above Jay-Z picture)

Jay addresses a certain egg-headed ex-Rocafella CEO here.

"Heard mufu99as saying they made HOV/Make HOV say: "Okay so...Make another HOV!"

He also addresses the death of his nephew:

"Can't run from the pain go towards it/Some things can't be explained, what caused it?/Such a beautiful soul so pure, SHIT!/../Your girlfriend's pregnant, the Lord's gift/Almost lost my faith, that restored it/.../Can't wait for your child's life to be a part of it/"

That's real talk right there.

It looks like that second verse also addresses his relationship with someone (Bey perhaps? You gotta listen to that one though. I ain't typing that -ish out!

This is so far the best joint I've heard since his announcement of Kingdom Come. He switches the flow up each verse and the second verse is especially nice. He's getting warmer! (No Johnny Gill). I think Jay might still have it ya'll!

(UPDATE: Dame doesn't appear to be too happy about this song)
Dame Diddy and Jim Jones - King Dumb-Dumb...I mean Kingdome Done

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Speaking of Teh Gay...Kissing ON like my Daddy



REFERENCE POINT: Stuntin Like My Daddy

Baby (B): "Gold-plated Trojan Magnum."

Weezie F. Baby (W): "What you doing?"

B: "Kissin on ya!"

W: "What you doing???"

B: "Getting horny! Your salad I wanna toss, Juvie and Turk wouldn't let me?"

W: "Stop playing paw, get lost!"

(UPDATE: Baby explains it all...Kind of .)

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Another Jigga Video from TeamGuerilla

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Borat Trailer: I gotta go see this



If it's this funny while I'm sober, imagine how much I'm gonna laugh when I get SLOSHED and watch this.

"...to make a movie-film."

"This suit is black...NOT!"

"Very nice, how much!"

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Game still dissin'

Even with all the promotion he MUST be doing to move his new album off the shelves, he can still find the time to make G-UNIT disses that nobody cares about.

LeBron and his shoe catalog

(UPDATE: I think I might have to take back what I said about this new LeBron shoe because they look a lil more dope here...To spend the $150 or not spend the $150...That is the question. Some guy did a full review of the shoe HERE...Notice the Jordan tattoo on his leg in the pics of him wearing the new BronBrons.)

Most of you know that LeBron James is my favorite NBA player. So much so that I flew to Cleveland for a night last year just to catch my favorite team (the Wizards) play LeBron and the Cavs. I got an email from my boy J this morning with a link to LeBron's new shoe (or at least, I assume it's new). It made me realize how I am either 1) not into tennis shoes (sneakers) like I used to be when I was young, or 2) shoes are just ugly now. Because the joints below don't look good to me. I dunno, but I just don't find myself enthralled by new shoes like I used to. Perhaps it's because I use words like "enthralled" and I post WebNerd Alerts on the InterWeb...Just a guess.

Naturally, I think I have enough style to buy these and pull off a good-looking outfit, but why? These joints cost $150!!! $150 for a shoe that looks like this? Man, I know there's inflation and a dollar isn't worth what it used to be, but jeez! This is definitely not a $150 shoe from what I can see. But then again, maybe it is just because LeBron's name is affiliated with it and his logo is tattooed on the shoe. I like the color scheme (red is my favorite color and black is always buy-able) but $150? I can't just come up off of that like it's nothing anymore. I guess I need a connect at a shoe store or something so I can get stuff like this for cheap.

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UPDATE: In lieu of JAC's comment I had to update the post. She wonders why men are so obsessed with wearing the ugliest shoes we can find. I'll try and justify this a little fellas even though I sort of agree with her on the basis of the shoes being ugly.

Quick story to put this in perspective: Back when the Foamposite joints came out back in like 1998 or so I got a pair off the break. Me and two of my closest friends went to Howard Univ. one night to peruse the campus and check out the girls (geeking for a party was the norm back then). Anyway, as we were leaving to walk to our car, one dude ran up on us with a pistol telling us to "give it up" and we all ran like hell. I ended up getting caught by another guy who was "working" with this guy. So they robbed me. Put guns to my head, went in my pockets and took my wallet, missed my money in my front pocket (dummies), and took off my $150 pair of Foamposites. In retrospect, I was scared shytless and can't believe I didn't sh@t myself. But they didn't shoot me though so it was all good. Thank you Jesus!

So I ran back to where our car was parked and met up with my friends who had gotten away. We all got in the car and they immediately bust out laughing at me. I was HEATED! But imagine me, with no socks on, running down Georgia Avenue cursing to high-Heaven! LMAO! We did some "riding around" but eventually ended up driving home and that was pretty much it. The next day...I bought the EXACT same pair of shoes from my man J-Rock for $100! THE NEXT DAY! That's how serious the shoes were to me at that point in time. So with that, I segue into 3 reasons why guys are sneaker-obsessed.

1. The shoes that are super-expensive give guys the feeling of exclusivity (even if a million other guys have them). Men feel like if they can afford the most expensive shoes that they're in the upper-echelon of coolness in comparison to other guys. EVEN IF most other guys have the same shoe. It makes no sense, I know.

2. A lot of guys have a loyalty to a brand of shoe or a specific athlete's shoes. This is like NY-ers obsession with Air Force Ones or some guys' obsession with Jordans. Everybody knows a guy who has every pair of Jordans since the first ones way back when.

3. Some guys just like shoes in general. This could be sneakers, dress shoes, boots, casual shoes, whatever type of guy. Some of us just like to have fresh-azz shoes even if they're ugly or costly.

Fellas, did I do a good job explaining this?

"I'm on a mission, to get a crib so big you can't find the kitchen!!"

This is my version of MTV Cribs. Commentary included:

First up is the front door. The address is 1006...(I ain't putting it ALL on the InterWeb people!)...If you play this number and win, I want 10%. No BULL!



Next is the living room. It has a nice bow/bay window (whatever the term is). This is probably my favorite room in the house.



This is where most people say "the magic happens". For me, it will probably just be where I get my sleep on :-( At least for the foreseeable future. So the only magic that'll be going down is me picking an outfit for work that actually matches before I go to bed.



Next up...The kitchen. Contrary to what most of you may think, I can actually cook. I've survived since 2000 cooking for myself! Honestly, I can cook a few things VERY WELL and I can cook a lot of stuff either bad or so that it's edibile. Either way, I'm alive and I haven't poisoned myself so I'll continue to cook. LOL. The best part of the kitchen is the dishwasher (formerly known as MY HANDS)!



The BATHROOM...AHHHHH! I feel relaxed already! This is the room where most of MY MAGIC will be happening. From getting "so fresh and so clean-clean" to thinking of my next blogposts to reading some soft-porn mag (j/k...I think) to brushing the crap out of my braces. This people, is the most IMPORTANT ROOM in the entire house. Don't get it twisted!



That's it for this episode of cribs. I refrained from showing other parts of the house because I was too d@mn lazy to take all those pictures this morning. But trust that there's a basement, 2 other bedrooms, 2 other bathrooms, a dining room, a backyard that's fenced in, and a pseudo-front yard. But most of you guys will see the crib at some point, right?

The evolution of not being Teh Gay

If you've followed my blog for say, a post or two, you've probably noticed I use a lot of terminology quite often. For example, "Teh gay", "No Johnnycakes", and more recently, "sheeeeeiiiiiit". There has always been a constant usage of randomly created (or jacked, ie - "jig") slang terminology that I employ in my blogposts as part humor, part sarcasm, part retarded, part out-of-nowhere. But I digress.

Primary among these phrases has been Homophobic Reaction Phrases (HPR), a term I created for phrases like "no homo" (Harlemites), "no johnnycakes" (Sopranos), "no omar" (WIRE), etc. My personal battle with homophobia and feelings about Teh Gayness have been well-documented throughout the life of this blog, so you can make of those posts and this one, what you wish. But this is not to slam anyone who is homosexual or whatever the PC term is today. Just want to make that known.

My point in this post introduce another HPR into the evolution of Day2Day HPR usage. So, without wasting anymore time, I give you the latest:

No Johnny Gill

Initially I was thinking no Johnny Gill-Murphy (since they might as well be married), but that doesn't have the same ring as No Johnny Gill. And after taking another look at the pictures below, I think the most logical candidate to enter the HPR product line next should probably be "No Sugar Ray". He looks sweeter than a glass of lemonade with honey and maple syrup in it.

"Sugar Water Festival" Leonard


Sugary Ray Murphy


My question for my man Eddie is, how do you go from RAW to raw-dog? Nasty mutha...I bet they sip Armand de Brokeback to lose their inhibitions before they get their Jake-and-Heath on!

Self-effemination = TEH GAY!

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Gotta give my manz-anem they credit...Seed planted by the mind of DallasPenn (ahem, no Johnny Gill)...Pictures courtesy of DallasPenn.

Tryna catch me ridin' dirty

Last night on my way home from work I got pulled over by the knockos (shot out to the WIRE, which hasn't come on in 2 fuggin' weeks by the way...what's up HBO?) and they weren't REALLY tryna catch me riding dirty. I didn't have my seatbelt on and they had a "seatbelt trap" setup. No bull! A seatbelt trap. But this was my fault because I've drove through that area before and saw the "seatbelt trap" and I should have had my joint on anyway. Most of you who know me or have rode with me before have either asked me why I don't wear my seatbelt all the time or suggested that I do. This is further motivation to do just that..

One thing that I realized yesterday via this 20-minute experience was that the police treat you differently when you 1) are dressed well, 2) drive a so-called "nice" car, and 3) are articulate and non-belligerent.

I was pulled over by one of those semi-aggressive cops who act as if they think everybody is a flight risk. I knew I was in the wrong and there was no real risk of me fleeing the $25 ticket. So I pulled over and he gets to my door and tells me why he pulled me over and I respond calmly and tell him, "Okay, I understand." He then proceeded to change his entire demeanor and ask politely for my license and registration. Of course I had to alert him that my wallet was in my back pocket and my registration was in the glove compartment so I didn't get shot.

But this guy's posture went from "this ni99a might be a threat" to "he's one of them corporate negroes" real quick. It totally shocked me. So I sat there for what seemed to be an infinite amount of time but really amounted to about 15 minutes before he came back with my ticket and asked me to sign it and actually said "please" after he asked. Never before have I heard a cop ask someone to sign a ticket, "please".

I signed it, cursed him out in my head for actually writing the ticket (he could have let me go with a warning considering I wasn't raging about it), and drove off thinking:

"Man, this guy really changed his whole demeanor up when he saw I had on slacks, a nice shirt, and I spoke to him calmly. Wow!"

It made me realize that most of these cops who are overly aggressive are probably just afraid and they use aggression as their defense mechanism. But once they no longer view you as a threat, their posture and demeanor changes. This was a somewhat thought-provoking experience for me so I thought I'd share. In general though, they're more likely to catch me like this anyway (well, minus the white part, though I am very light-skindeded):

He's not so Fab-o-lous with blood coming from the bulletwound in his thigh

UPDATE: Fabu-gate just keeps getting better:

Fabolous Hires Investigator To Obtain Details In Shooting: This is soooo un-rapper-esque. What's he trying to do? Handle this the RIGHT way or something...Jeez! You're gonna lose all the "street cred" (hate this term by the way) that you gained by getting shot!

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VS

It's been almost a week since Fabu-gate took place. The incident I'm referring to is the one that took place last week in front of Diddy's restaurant, Justin's.

Sebastair Telfair - of ESPN reality series and high school basketball fame...Oh yeah, he's an average (if not below) NBA player too - was dining at the restaurant with his fiancé when he left her to move his car from the front of the restaurant and park it in a nearby garage. At this time, he ran into F-A-B-O-L-O-U-S and the Street Fi-di-di-di-dayum (read: "weed carriers" for Fab). Allegedly, one member of the Street FAM snatched Sebastian's chain while another member of the entourage watched (must have been entertaining), and then the weed carriers and Fab proceeded into Justin's where they sat, ate, and were merry while discussing how they just snatched Sebastian's chain and loved how the blood diamonds gleamed. That's a classic get-away plan by the way.

Minutes later, Sebastian (a native of NYC) re-entered the restaurant and saw Fab and his crew ch-ch-ch-chilling and he (Sebastian) was shortly thereafter seen making "a phone call" (uh-oh) in front of the restaurant. We can only assume who he was calling right? One word...GOONIES! Sebastian and his fiancé then promptly get the fugg outta there. Smart move homie! Don't wanna get shot by your own GOONIES!

A few minutes later, as Fab and his entourage exited the restaurant and headed to the garage to leave, Diddy shot at them for skipping out on the bill. Okay, that's not what really happened, but it would have been funny if it was. So it was not Diddy, but *somebody* (see aforementioned reference to GOONIES) shot at these guys and Fab got hit in the thigh. They then got in the car (fully equipped with 20"+ rims but no hospital supplies) and attempted to take Fab to the hospital but were stopped by police for running several red lights. Naturally, the police found guns in the car and subsequently arrested Fab and Street Fam. Shocker! Fab actually ended up at the hospital and his weed carriers made it to the pokey.

This whole situation raises several questions and quite a few observations. I'll start with the questions:

1. Why would these idiots think they could rob an NBA player and get away with it (even if most of us don't know/care who he is)? Let alone go right into the restaurant he left and just act as if the chain-snatching never took place? Classic wannabe-gangsta-logic.

2. Who is Fab hanging with that's dumb enough to pull this stunt knowing Fab's pretty recognizable in NYC and Sebastian is as well?

3. Did they think Sebastian was just going to just "let it go"?

4. Does Sebastian think no one's going to figure out who he (most likely) called?

The more entertaining part of all this however, is that this situation ties together so many facets of stupidity that I can't help but be entertained and therefore bring it all together in a blogpost.

Think about it. You've got chain-snatching, supposed street credibility for a rapper by getting shot, hip-hop entourages, an NBA player and a hip-hop artist "getting into it" (no Omar), guns in a rapper's car, not snitching, and just plain ole' stupidity in general by Fab and his crew.

This situation brings together the NBA and hip-hop in a way that I've never seen before. It's completely CLASSIC! When have you ever heard of an NBA player allegedly getting a rapper shot? When have you heard of a member of a rapper's entourage snatching the chain of a low-budget NBA baller? Did you ever think someone would be dumb enough to snatch a chain and then sit in the restuarant the snatchee came out of as if there wasn't the potential for retaliation?

TRULY people, this is a moment in time we should all recognize as the worst possible combination of hip-hop, the NBA, and stupidity. Truly a moment frozen in time.

"Jay-Z who? The rapper? That skinny nikka on the boat?"

UPDATE: I'm not the only one who has thoughts on this

Model Minority - Jay Z's Champagne Endorsement is Illegal.

RapUp - Armand de Brignac: The New Negro Drink?

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I'm dedicating this one to my man J-Rock who suggested I speak on this. I know I told you I was going to wait homie, but...I lied.

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In the past few days there's been a lot of hoopla about Jay-Z and this new champiggity he puts on display in his latest video, "Show Me What You Got". Armand de Brokeback (Armand De Brignac or whatever-the-f*ck it is), is now being positioned by both the company that bottles the champagne and indirectly (or perhaps directly) by Jay-Z as the mogul's brand of choice. That is, when he's not sippin' Armie or Belvie or Heineken or Budweiser Select. Now whether or not you believe that Jay-Z's "endorsement" makes 'de Brokeback hip-hop's champiggity brand of choice is up to you, but it's already been exposed that orders have reached preposterous (never-before-seen) levels for the company since the video debuted. Not to mention that Jay-Z has a pretty solid track record of being a jig-influencer (shot out to DP). The increase in orders for 'de Brokeback is by no means a surprise. We hip-hop fans can be oh-so gullible and impressionable, especially when it comes to the self-proclaimed God MC, "Jay-Hovah". This guy should be rapping with a turban, shouldn't he?



In the past few days however, there has been lots of speculation that this product didn't "just-so-happen" to appear in a scene of Jay's latest video where he shuns Cri$$y and decides to partake in the "Ace of Spades" (By the way, how convenient that the bottle with the Ace of Spades on it was presented during a card game? Jay-Z you slickster you!). There's some speculation that he was paid to put the product in this video. As if he needs the money.

What's being lost in all of this is the irony that this is the same guy trying to assist with the water crisis in Africa by uhhhh, touring the country putting on benefit concerts (I assume they're benefit concerts). I wonder how many bobbles (shot out to my CH fellas on that one) of 'de Brokeback he's giving away to those famine-stricken, no-water-having, Jay-Z lovin' Africans? Not to mention my wondering about how many of said Africans give a shillznit about what type of champiggity he drinks when they're water is dirtier than Ricky Williams' pi$$. You try drinking water that looks like Flava Flav bathed in it! Bet you won't like that shyt...Unless you're Dee-lishcious (howeveryouspellthatGHETTOA$$shyt).

It's well known that Jay-Z recently found quite the loathing for his previous favorite brand of bubbly, Cristal, and subsequently pulled all 10,000 bottles of it from his home along with the 23.5 thousand that were sitting at the bars of his 40/40 clubs in NY and NJ. The media's making more a deal about this switch of bubbly brands than Jay-Z appears to be though. Jay-Z, in his typically Jiggaman style, really isn't doing anything he hasn't done before with the products he allegedly loves. Remember Belvedere vodka? Remember Armadele vodka? Got your Audemar Piguet watch yet? Maybe you forgot about your Continental T? How about your Scooby Doos (I'm still tryna figure out what those shyts are)? Or your Purple label shirt or the littany of other ridiculously expensive items Jay-Z loves. The man drops brand names like Game drops rapper's names! Jay was giving loads of people free promotion, right. At least he started dropping Roc-A-Wear and Armadele to promote some of his own shyt.

Now though, it appears he's going the route of the endoresment hoe (not to be confused with the route of the camera hoe)...Heineken last year, Budweiser this year. Cristal at the retirement party, 'de Brokeback at the un-retirement party. What's next? Oh, the ESPN deal! And just for a little positive PR, throw the African Water Crisis in there too! Next up he might as well go to North Korea and pop bottles to solve the nuclear testing crisis. I'm sure China and South Korea would endorse JAY-Z if he could pull that shyt off.

On one hand you gotta respect his saavy and his ability to leverage the brand that HE IS into lots of successful ventures. On the other hand you have to think that he will promote uber-expensive champagne, clothing, liquor, cars, etc. (all liabilities by the way). But somehow he also manages to think about the little (African) person and give back (sort of). He once said:

"I get rich and give back/To me that's the win-win"

Nikka wasn't lying. THAT'S for DAYUM sure!

Aside from saving the water for Africans, he is busy making subpar songs; pushing his album release date up while pushing his employees' release dates back; Bey-ing the block (W-T-F???); being the DEVIL; part-owning an NBA franchise; owning a clothing line; partnering with Budweiser & ESPN; and God only knows what else after this album is released. The man truly is the Michael Jordan of rap isn't he? Or is he just what Puffy has always been? An over-exposed fixture of pop culture with so much money that all you want is 1) ways to spend it, 2) ways to make more, and 3) ways to keep yourself relevant...

When they say you gotta take the good with the bad...Jay-Z's a prime example of taking all the (arguably/questionably) bad with the good. But even he admits he's "a bad influence, got the world drinking gold bottles"... That shyt is so de' BROKEBACK!

"P-H-I-L-L-Y"

This is my little segue into a short post on my plans for the weekend. Philly, Philly, Philly! It's time for yet another road trip with the fellas. Many of you may recall Lousiana. Many of you may recall one of the New York Trips. Now it's time to get reacquainted with Philly (JR, holla at me mannnnnn). Time for cheesesteaks, Liberty Bells, 5 Spots, South Streets, Buddakhans, and of course, a lil partyin' (guess I could have just said Tragos's)!

Pictures are inevitable...

The evolution of my feelings toward Robin Thicke

I'll have to confess, a minute ago, I completely sh@t on Robin Thicke and his song "Wanna Love You". I totally ripped this guy. But I was encouraged by a friend (shot out to Crystal) to listen to his album online a week or so ago and decided to do just that. Not only was I pleasantly surprised, I was impressed. This guy's CD is actually pretty good.

With that said, I am not taking back what I said about that song, but I will say that I was wrong about him not having any singing talent. The guy can sing. And he still might be a Justin Timberlake clone in a sense, but he has talent in his own right. Not to mention he's married to the stunningly beautiful and "I'd sign over all my life insurance benefits to"...Paula Patton. Whom he notes as his "muse" in the liner notes of his CD. I'm sure she'd be my muse too homie. 100% sure!

So, in recognition of me putting my foot in my mouth yet again and because I want my e-friend BrownSkinLady to listen to his album, it will be featured on this little blog of mine for the foreseeable future (read: until Nas, Game, or Jigga drops) as my Virtual Playlist (see top right of THIS PAGE). Enjoy!

Married people, make babies...Couples, make LOVE...Single folks...Stop it...That shyt is NASTY! Go find a partner and work backwards through the last 5 sentences!

;-)

Ice-T Missed the Memo. Or did he?

"You can't turn a hoe into a housewife"...Then again, he might have actually turned his housewife into a hoe, considering he is a pseudo-wannabe-maybe-really-is-pimp or what-have-you (overkill, I know). Uh, then again, this woman strikes me as a lifetime hoe...I dunno why?



Cot d@mn there goes a white girl lost...Thank God she's covering up her husband though...Whewww!

We all know that Ms. Lee is quite (in)famous for her supreme openness about her sexuality and willingness to show off her body. Which honestly, I'm not really mad at. I mean let's be real, I'm not TEH GAY and I'm not going to front like I don't look at the scantilly clad ladies when I see them (i.e. - the perty young lady to the left).

BUT, there's a time and a place for everything and she often makes the mistake of displacing a classy dress code for an a$$y dress code. Not to mention she is one helluva camera whore (see definition #3). And no matter what you're measurements are, that shyt just ain't cute to me.

For more examples of why I feel the way I feel CoCo Lee over-exposure...Enjoy (fellas). Puke (ladies).

Exhibit 1 | Exhibit 2 | Exhibit 3

I was having a conversation with a friend about people who are overly overtly sexual and she brought up a good point. A lot of people who have to throw their sexiness or sexuality in your face all the time often do it because they aren't really putting it down behind closed doors like they'd like you to believe. Or more simply, they're not as sexually confident or self-confident as they would like you to believe. So they over-compensate by putting on a show for the world to see. Whether or not that is the case with Ms. Lee, I'll never know and never care! Okay, maybe a I care a smidgeon since CoCo's thicka than a snicka (and orang-er than a d@mn orange with that fake-tan). But yet-and-still, she's a bit much at times. And Ice-T's over-whorification of his W-I-F-E is really sad. Even though she "such a F*CKING LAAAAAADY", there's no way he can honestly say he respects her. No friggin way!

But sheeeeeeeiiiiiiit, I might buy the album just for the liner notes though...I can't front.

Word of the Day: Sheeeeeeeiiiiiiitttt

I've been using this reference to Clay Davis from the WIRE for a minute now. My boy BHill seems to believe that Clay Davis stole it from him (LOL). But with the Wire being filmed in STD-ville and BHill living in STD-ville, the possibility does exist...

"SHHHEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIITTTTT!"

So for future reference, I present Mr. Clay Davis in his typical political-party-contributor-a$$whol-errific splendor. This is some funny sheeeeiiiiitttt!

Bout 30 seconds in...


Bout 30 seconds in...


He really TEE's off here (bout 30 seconds in). This one is CLASSIC!:


So many quotables from this one, so little time...

It's so funny, that they even parody him on the show (about 2 minutes in):

Grew Up A Screw Up (Luda and Jeezy)

This video is HOT! Jeezy switched his verse up from the first version of this song that I heard and this one is a lil bit better, which is kinda funny considering this is still a basic a$$ verse..."Speaking of pockets mine gots the mumps...Told mom's fuggit I got shyt to do!" LMAO! Naturally, Luda outshines Jeezy lyrically, but Jeezy outswag's (WTF) Luda on this track in his usual swagerrific way. But overall, they mesh pretty well over the track and it makes for a quality song nevertheless. The Biggie sample doesn't hurt either (Puff gettin' that paper ya'll, even if we ain't pressing PLAY!)

It's good to see the ATL boys showing love for one another (No Omar). I still think Luda's taking subliminal shots at TIP though:

"Only reason you on that song is cuz I turned that down!"

Hmmmmmnnnnn???

WEB NERD ALERT: YouTube's successor

Now that Google has purchased YouTube for an INSANE amount of money they'll undoubtedly start becoming more strict on the copywritten material that USED TO float through YouTube (and end up on people's blogs [eh-hem] and websites) because Google is such a large and noticable company that all their services will be under extreme scrutiny from the Laws. Especially a video service like this one where everybody and their momma knows you can (or used to be able to) find anything you wanted to see on YouTube. Well, except pRoN.

So, with that in mind, I introduce to you, YouTube/Google-Video's probable successor, which I discovered yesterday while viewing the NYOIL video.



Bolt provides basically the exact same service (and a little more) as YouTube but they will be able to do it under the radar for at least the short-term future I'd assume. Meaning, they'll have all the copywritten content that the Laws will now keep YouTube from posting (ie - Jay-Z's new video). So if you can't find it on YouTube people, I suggest going to BOLT.COM (waddup Jay).

(UPDATE: So it's like I was saying about the crackdown on copywritten material posted on YouTube: They snatched 30,000 files real quick like)

(UPDATE #2: I'm not the only person "getting it".)

"If all the good stuff on YouTube is being removed until the video sharing service gets a copyright license, does this mean there are fewer reasons to even visit YouTube?"

YES! YouTube is totally a FEATURE and not a PRODUCT! YouTube is a service anybody else out there with a lot of internet market-share can emulate/reproduce.

You know un-retired rappers get better promotion..

Dear Jay-Z,

So this is it huh? You're just going to innundate me with so much Jay-Z music, videos, Budweiser (not Heineken anymore, by the way) commercials, NFL mash-ups until I have no choice but to either stop listening to this "Show Me What You Got" joint or like it? That's your plan, huh?

Well, I don't think it's going to work...Not this time. Maybe from a rapper of a lesser caliber like a Jim Jones or a Young Jeezy perhaps. I can accept being force-fed ad-libs and ultra-swagger by rappers who have no real lyrical talent and are far from being truly creative or real hip-hop artists for that matter. But with you Mr. Carter...Excuse me, Sean. [Eh-hem] I've seen true lyricism...creativity...flow...swag'. So right now, with all the hoopla surrounding...YOU! I expect more. I expect you to respect me more as a true fan of your work and I expect more from you!

Change Clothes Part II might do it for me off of 3 Ciroc and Pineapples in some pseudo-plush Baltimore lounge or in a drunken stupor at a house-party. But in my car on that hour-long ride from Bmore to Capitol Heights - in the immortal words of Stacey from Menace II Society - "that shyt gets no play in this ride!" No really, I'd rather listen to Little Brother. Sheeeeeit (shot out to Clay Davis)! I'd rather listen to Young Buck. Seriously!

So I sincerely hope that all this promotion doesn't come without a higher quality of music in the next few releases and ultimately in your "back like Jordan wearing the '45" album, Kingdom Come. The single, "Kingdom Come" is a step in the right direction I will admit, but it's just a step. If you want your fans and hip-hop heads in general to take the leap of faith that you'll have more to talk about than your Audemar Piguet watch, your newfound disdain for Cristal, how you B's the block (whateverthef*ckthatmeans), or how you're the savior of New York and hip-hop...Well, you better take the leap from "Show Me What You Got" and get on that Blueprint (slash Reasonable Doubt) shyt real quick homie.

Otherwise, CamRon's prediction might just come true:

"He outta retirement, Jordan on the Wizards!"

While it IS definitely an impressive feat for a rapper to get his music video "premiered" during halftime of a Monday Night Football game, but think about how much more you could have done with that 1 minute spot! Think about what some "other" artists may have used that 1 minute of promotion for. What would Mos Def have done? Katrina Clapped for America? What would Kanye have done? Gave more of his political thoughts? We can guess, but we'll never know. But we now know and see exactly what you did. Wasted a minute of all of our time for what? A subpar track by our AND your standards (I would hope) that is probably just the lead "party track" for what is a highly-anticipated album. But why? If all you want to know is what WE HAVE. NIKKA, what the F*CK DO YOU GOT????

Sincerely,

Your #1 FAN

Ms. Education: So it's not just Baltimore

What I mean is poor education. Or in this case, a lack of a long-run dedication to being educated and the necessary support systems to facilitate that long-run dedication (one helluva run-on, huh?)...It's not just Baltimore.

I was reading this post over at Biochemical Slang and it made me think about my "Lowered Expectations" post on Baltimore City public schools.

One of my favorite lines from the Biochemical post is "If our exam scores included realness, flatness of hat brims, and Lacoste shirts, we'd be beating those damn Asian countries." LOL, but I agree wholeheartedly.

My point here is to re-iterate what's said about NY state schools in an effort to tie this into what I have said about Baltimore city public schools:

"'2/3 of New York state kids are proficient in math!' Yes! As our kids got older, they steady got dumberer! Our kids demonstrated an 80% math proficiency in third grade, but a 50 % proficiency by eighth grade. NYC is at 57% proficiency and Chancellor Joel Klein added, "Today’s math results, I think, represent real progress." If you're meter stick is an inch long, ANYTHING will look like progress... Klein added, “While we went down, we went down much less.” If you're meter stick is a centimeter, shit's LOOKIN' GOOD."

This is more likely than not prevalent in many urban school districts throughout the country. And it appears that Baltimore's solution was simply to lower the bar. More specifically, start off doing well in school but as you get older and start doing worse, we'll simply lower the bar for you. In Baltimore's case, the justification was that they're simply leveling the playing field for Baltimore city students so that they're being measured by the same metrics as students across the country. Whether or not you believe this is acceptable or just plain dumb is not the important part here. The signal that it undoubtedly being sent to some students (if not all) is of the utmost importance.

"You guys are underachieving or simply not achieving at all. Sooooooo, we're lowering the bar for you guys!"


Maybe those are pages from a math book en fuego???

You know what's sad is that some times I think that the writers of the WIRE could do a better job of running Baltimore City than the actual folks who run this place.

Now I know how parents feel about their kids...

I don't have any kids so I can't really relate to how it feels to be responsible for someone's life other than my own. Hell, it's only been in the past few years that I have truly grasped what being responsible for my own life really does mean. But today, in an odd sort of way, I have that sort of parental feeling.

I spoke with my mother today and she told me that she is buying (actually already has bought) a MOTORCYCLE. WOW! Now, part of me is happy and part of me is scared/nervous. Let me explain...

Last year in May I took the Motorcycle Rider course that the MVA in Maryland offers. My mom was apprehensive about me riding because my uncle had a very very bad accident on a motorcycle when I was a kid. He survived, but had to get some serious plastic surgery done. I passed the course the MVA gives, and had plans on getting the motorcycle endorsement on my license and buying a motorcycle. Neither of those things have happened up until this point. I waited too long to get the motorcycle endorsement so now my dumazz has to take the learner's test and road test. And I haven't gotten a bike because it just wouldn't have been a responsible financial decision for me.

About a week ago, my grandfather took my mother for a ride on his Harley (yes, my grandfather has a Harley at 70 years of age). My mom raved and raved about the experience for days and days and kept telling me she would get her license, yada yada yada. I wrote it off as just the excitement of something new.

But as you can see, she's really falling in love with riding. So I'm happy that she's found something new to love that I also happen to enjoy. That means we can probably ride together whenever I get all my (motorcycle) shyt straight. But at the same time there's the fear of knowing: "Man, that's my mom going out there on a motorcycle!" But it appears to be a trait of several family members (the love of riding) so I guess the bug was bound to hit both me and my mother at some point in time, right?

Pretty soon there'll probably be some sort of convoy with me, my mother, and my grandfather. And of course, there'll be plenty of pictures if my mom has her camera on her.